Weigh Two Funny

I wrote: I haven't seen many people do the "scalding hot water challenge" for ALS yet.

My friend Tony asked: Many or any????

I replied: Anyone or Manyone. Polar bears do the cold water thing aLL the time, and I routinely boil chicken that has been frozen.

My favorite lawyer commented: I guess technically zero isn't many...

Then Tony asked: When you boil the chicken that has been frozen, is it a challenge, or has it been challenged, or is it just challenging?

My reply to my favorite lawyer: TechnicaLLy, speaking of temperature, 0 degrees Celcius is many degrees above Absolute Zero, 0 degrees Kelvin, 273.15 degrees. 0 degrees Fahrenheit is many degrees above Absolute Zero, 0 degrees Rankine, 459.67 on the R/F sized degree. 

So zero can be many in many ways.

Reply to friend Tony: Boiling chicken is neVer a challenge for me. I remember watching my grandmother kiLL a chicken once, and once was aLL I needed, so that would be a bit of a challenge.

My friend Tony replied: My Grandmother would take strips of cloth and tie the chickens legs to the clothes line. She would have four or five chickens hanging upside down. Then down the line she would go with her trusty butcher knife.

Reply to friend Tony: THaNKs for the visual, I wAs trYing to eAt somethIng, but now ....

My second reply to my favorite lawyer: You can tare an electronic balance so that it displays zero, but isn't, and then zero is many in several weighs, but stays the same amount of many. If you don't believe me, just ask you gram-ma. Oh, that was weigh two funny.

FinaLLy Tony asked: Are you loosing weight?

Reply to friend Tony: I am pretty sure that when people are not actuaLLy eating or drinking something they are constantly losing weight due to metabolic and respiratory processes. So I only spend a few seconds of any day actually increasing my weight in the process of eating or drinking, so the vast majority of the time I am losing weight. Its a calc-you-less problem.

Goodbye Mork

You spent decades making me laugh.

When I first saw you I knew you would be around for a long time.

You are the funniest person who ever lived, or will ever live.

My attempts at humor are just baby steps compared to your gigantic now empty shoes.

Now you are gone.

Today you made me cry.

Goodbye Robin

Battling Worms

If you like to cookie eXperiment, try putting peanut butter on a cookie, thin layer. Mmmm.... My choice is Cashew Sandies.

Cooper approves.

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Currently reading Craig Ferguson's memoir on becoming an American citizen. Enjoying, caution: has several choice words

American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

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AMC is having a Breaking Bad 'binge', playing aLL the episodes in a row on Sundays with about 6 episodes per week. Today it starts at 4 PM Central Time.

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My wife is a bad person. I am sitting on edge of the kitchen eating a snack wanting to have a conversation. She is making soup but forgets to turn on the eXhaust fan. Suddenly I am overwhelmed by the toxic fumes of the jalapeño peppers on high flame of the back burner. I quickly decided I didn't need a conversation.

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I decided to take a break from Facebook for awhile. I left a status of simply the number zero: 0

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Just battling worms in my organic vineyard. Some grapes are getting edible!!! I brought in my first bunch of white seedless for my wife to try.

His Middle Name Is Love

Training a preying mantis in the vineyard yesterday.

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"Dad? Are you awake?", comes a quietly loud whisper as the bedroom door opens.

"Yes", I respond maintaining some sense of awakeness in my pain racked body under my blankie, two pillows low underhead with a third girding my belly while propping up my left elbow, my main enemy.

"Can I get the gas card? Also, mom wants a drink, do you need anything?"

I say, "I am in so much pain that I don't know what I want,"

He responds with one of his favorite questions, "Do you want a pony?"

I randomly pick a non-zero non-one single digit answer of, "Yes, actuaLLy I would like to have 3 ponies."

He suddenly laughes and says, "OH!!! I have to show you this video." So he spends several seconds finding the interview of Vermin Love Supreme during the Lesser Known Democratic Candidates Forum, at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics in which he talks about his platform of dental health care, zombies, and ponies for every American citizen while wearing a giant rubber boot for a hat. I laughed during most of the 5 minute long YouTube video.

I felt better for about 5 minutes then pain ramped drifted off to a blissful comatose state.