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2007-09-25

Amazing New Chinese Diet & More

I saw an advertisement for an "Amazing New Chinese Diet" several weeks ago, so I started it. Didn't lose a single pound after 8 weeks of trying. Then I got a letter from a man in Beijing that I didn't know. He said, "Stop your diet, you're making me hungry all the time and I've lost 20 kilograms".
That is an Amazing Diet. I eat. Certain Chinese people lose weight. And he didn't appreciate my efforts. Just for that, I think I'll stay on it for a few more weeks.


... and now the "& More" part ...

I started a new diet that has truly worked well:


EOPFYL - Eliminate One Pepper From Your Life

My friend asked, "What kind???? Stuffed peppers?"


"No, think high caloric"

"Oh, Dr. Pepper!!!"

But secretly I still cheat and have one "DoPe" per week when I go to Tac0 Be11. If I wanted to completely eliminate DoPe, it would require the arson of thousands of TB restaurants, the mass killing of thousands of employees, a little bit of deforestation, and probably have to punch somebody in the nose, all that just to finally exterminate all the DoPe out of my life. Whew! That plan sounds too wacky just for a cold carbonated beverage from Waco Tx, probably not cost effective with current gas prices, and might interfere with TV time, especially with the new fall lineup. Oh, I have to stop typing, the 'House' season premiere is on.

I think I'll just stick to my current game plan of not having DoPe in my house.

And mono-cheat-weekly at TB.

Hours Later at the DoPeAnon Meeting

"Hi, my name is Ernest, and I secretly drink DoPe"

"Hello Ernest, hello Ernest, hello Ernest"

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