Ford Cares: About Bunnies & Air Bags

I was surprised one day last week to discover that Ford Motor Company cares so much about bunnies. As I flipped the visor up in my car there was a warning sticker about air bags and infant car seats with a bunny as the victim of an air bag mishap in the diagram. The 1st photo is directly from my 1998 Ford Motor Company automobile, not retouched. The 2nd close-up from the previous photo is even more shocking as it indicates that bunny ears could possibly become detached by a sudden blow to the back of the head. I was shocked and saddened, and decided something must be done. An appropriate safety investigation was initiated by our not-for-profit organization Compare, Scare & Impair Labs Inc.

From the warning sticker diagram, we decided to calculate the bunny size – it looked rather large - that way we could get a handle on how big of a bunny people could safely haul in the front seat of their car. Our product safety evaluation division at C,S & I Labs performed body density experiments on 14 bunnies in a large water tank. We found some cute little bunny sized scuba gear to assure animal safety with the measurements. We determined an average bunny body density of 0.974 gm/cc and created a comparison diagram (see 3rd photo). The comparison calculates out to a 22 pound Ford bunny! Man, that sure seems like a huge bunny! Maybe they have huge bunnies with easily detachable ears in Detroit, Michigan where they do the Ford bunny art. We decided not to perform any tests on our bunnies to see how easily their ears detach. Out of politeness, if you ever see any earless bunnies, just quietly remind everyone around you with a whisper, "They must be Ford bunnies from Michigan". And tell your children not to stare. And on April Fools Day use this same line for gerbils and hampsters.

Our final scientific safety advice is to haul your bunnies safely secured in the rear seat of your automobile, properly restrained. Oh, and for some reason our Texan bunnies really didn't like the water tank. We didn't lose any, but it was close on a couple of them, leaky facemasks. I wasn't about to perform CPR on a bunny, so Friday would have been stew night at our weekly lab cookout. Are we out of carrots again?

Scuba, snorkeling & surfing gear for the bunnies was graciously loaned from and available for purchase online or catalog at Hare of the Mare LLP.