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2010-04-17

sMiles Per Zero Gallons

My phone rings.

It's the wife.

She had just left to go to work.

T - "Oh, no I took off to work and now my gas indicator says I have ZERO miles to empty!"

The vehicle beeped a warning in the background

E - "Where are you?"

T - "On Florida Street. I am going to the Phillips station, the one on 6th street."

E - "Where are you at right now? Why didn't you take my car like I offered BEFORE you left the house and you had even told me you thought yours was close to empty?!?!?"

T - "On Florida right before the - oh, NO! - the light turned red!"

The thirsty vehicle beeped a warning in the background

E - "What light?!?!?" thinking she was talking about her vehicle

T- "The stop light" - at 3rd street - so I know she is at least getting close to the gas station.....

T - "Hurry up!!! (she was talking to the stop light, not me) Stay on the line ... I am going to zoom there so I can coast into the place if I have to ... (she laughs) remember that time I ran out of gas in Amarillo and coasted right to the gas pump?"

The thirstier angry vehicle beeped a warning in the background

E - "Yes, I remember, I was there"

T- "OH NO!!! EVERY SINGLE PUMP has an out of order tag on it!" - we're talking about 12 to 16 pumps at one station!!!

[ Special note of 'thank you' to Allsup's Inconvenience Stores for making this tale more dramatic ]

E - "What are you going to do? There aren't any other close stations"

T - "I am going to drive onto work, so get ready to come rescue me. Oh, I have a slow poke in front of me."

The thirstier angrier hopeless vehicle beeped a dire warning in the background

E - "Which direction are you going from there?" - she responds east. I am thinking its about 6 or 7 blocks to go.

T - "I made it to the police station, at least now I can walk to work if I need to." ... heading north now .....

T - "Now I'm sitting at the intersection across the street from my shop"

..... .... ... .. . Mrs. T and The Empty Gas Tank make it to work.

I'm off to find a gas jug for the now quiet fuming nothing-but-fumes vehicle. I'm not taking a chance of driving the next two and a half blocks to a gas station.

Priceless

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