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2013-01-30

Followed by Dumber and Dumbest

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Today's Dumb Joke: The magician David Copperfield was going down a road when he suddenly turned into a driveway. Today's Dumber Jo...
8 comments:
2013-01-28

Almo$t Forever

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T he reason why the Post Office prints "Forever" on their stamps is because its shorter and takes less ink than "Good Until...
7 comments:
2013-01-24

A Bridge Adorned

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While traveling across Oklahoma I noticed a strangely adorned bridge. It is narrow on the east side, but bra'd on the west. (Just west...
7 comments:
2013-01-18

Goodbye Old Friends ..OR.. My Wife Made Me Throw Away Gold

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After a year and a half I finaLLy wore out my Vibram Fivefingers Komodo Sport toe shoes. My wife actuaLLy forced me to throw the old o...
12 comments:
2013-01-16

And Then Something Else Happened

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I was listening to Pandora, which gives you randomized selections of entertainment. They also give you a button to skip things you don'...
6 comments:
2013-01-15

The Star T B Utton

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Diagnosis : I thought the Start Button on my microwave oven was flaky, but it turns out that the "Door Closed Sensor" probably ...
4 comments:

No, I Was Not Also Standing On My Head

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From Cryptogram Corner: **********************************************************************  * KP MA POBH OW GXHHJAB AG WZHHIF BAXH Z...
1 comment:
2013-01-12

Sweet & Smokin'

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It was bound to happen sooner or later. I came to bed only to find I had been replaced by my mate. There by my piLLow was a large opened ...
8 comments:
2013-01-09

No, I Want The McSack Not

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It is stiLL McRib season but I show up at the busy lower IQ lunch run for the school kids. I try to teLL the clerk that I want my order to ...
10 comments:
2013-01-08

Amber Alert Alert Alert

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Sometimes when you are reading a biochemistry textbook it sounds like a sci-fi fantasy: "Kinesin, like myosin, is a relatively large p...
4 comments:
2013-01-06

On The Twelfth Day After Christmas ...

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Yea! I finaLLy got my Christmas present 12 seconds ago. My wife ordered a set of pots and pans for me. She got off the phone and declared h...
4 comments:
2013-01-05

Take My Sister-In-Law, ... Please

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Several minor events ... My wife asked me to take her sister to the doctor later today, but I accidentaLLy wrote my reminder as "be ...
7 comments:
2012-12-24

I Should Have Stopped At Fourteen

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Oh no! It's 4:50 AM and there is a tiny piece of music running repeating through my head from some movie or teleBision show and I can...
5 comments:
2012-12-22

A Puzzling Christmas Present

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My children liked puzzles and so every year I would try to find them slightly more difficult puzzles to push their minds. One year I was g...
10 comments:
2012-12-18

Pineapple, Size Seven, Please

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Pineapple Plantation News: Several weeks ago I discovered a new pineapple plant growing from the side near the base of my oldest pineapple...
6 comments:
2012-12-17

The Lost McRib

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[Day Two of McRib Hunting Season] I decide to do an eXperiment with a McRib sandwich. I don't like the giant pieces of white onion tha...
7 comments:
2012-12-16

The Hunt for Something I Read in October

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I should probably stop playing Sudoku. I just woke up from a dream where I am solving Sudoku puzzles verbaLLy, but I am a different perso...
6 comments:
2012-12-14

Goodnight

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December 14th, 2012 I must sleep now, there is too much sadness today, things private and public.
3 comments:
2012-12-08

The Insanity of Albert Ine-stine

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Albert Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So I tried flipping a coin and fo...
8 comments:
2012-12-05

Very Pretty

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What the kids are saying: It is what it is What history teachers have been saying: It was what it was What Australians are saying: Wall...
4 comments:
2012-12-03

Pie Are Shared, Cornbread Are Square

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My favorite attorney sent this joke to me in Facebook: Not sure why, but I saw this joke and thought of you.. After a minor mathemat...
2 comments:
2012-11-24

Some Thoughts

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from my Facebook status If you need further proof that the country is headed in the wrong direction, go to my groc store. The packages o...
11 comments:
2012-11-21

Indo Sham Nesia

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I am in the wrong business. There is a guy in Indonesia that charges $104,000 to slaughter a water buffalo and then hide the head to ward...
6 comments:
2012-11-18

Strange Numb Er Moments Followed By Stranger Numb Er Momentums

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So, I am napping. PeacefuLLy. The room is dark. The Wifey enters the room and asks softly, "Are you awake?" I am thinking the a...
4 comments:
2012-11-13

Birds of a Farther

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Question posed by a friend: ‎"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly to any place on Earth, and then I ask...
12 comments:
2012-11-07

Obamastan & Mess-O-America

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I designed a cartoon today. It has the 2012 election map of the United States by Red and Blue with the state boundaries erased. In the...
13 comments:
2012-11-03

Scorpians and Well Positioned Snacks

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After nearly thirty years of marriage I discovered something new. A strange noise near my horizontal ear. I turn over and there is a bag of...
9 comments:
2012-10-30

245 Point Zero?

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Steve Jobs yacht was finished recently and it is said to be "between 230 and 260 feet". What? That's a guess-ti-mate with a...
10 comments:
2012-10-28

Much Monkey Noise

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Do I own a monkey? No So why am I waking up to monkey noises? "If an apple traveling at the speed of light hits a static banana ......
6 comments:
2012-10-24

Seven And A Half Score Ago

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I was born slightly less than 100 years after the Civil War began, and now that I am slightly more than half of 100 years old I feel closer...
10 comments:
2012-10-17

A Crime of Paint

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My son far away had the back of his vehicle massively splashed with paint. We don't have any idea why this happened. He knows few peopl...
11 comments:
2012-10-11

Why My Dog is Probably Going to Vote Democrat

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Why my dog is probably going to vote Democrat. Cooper was peacefuLLy working on his chew bone on the livingroom floor during the David Le...
13 comments:
2012-10-03

Crisp Is In, and Seeing Twenty Twenty

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O n a journey for new floor tile and other supplies we discovered a new restaurant in Amarillo, Texas. For my meal I decided against my us...
6 comments:
2012-10-01

Let Me Explain The Presidential Debates, So That You Will Not Have To Watch Them

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The 2012 Presidential Debates are soon. I don't know when because I basicaLLy don't care. Here is what is going to happen. Each ca...
7 comments:
2012-09-25

Dances With Pizza

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Even for an old tired worn out sore man at the end of the day, I can move incredibly fast, you just have to throw a butcher knife at me. ...
10 comments: