I was looking forward to finally getting to go to the brand new Subway restaurant in our town, the only one we have, after the old one had been deactivated, torn down to make way for a gigantic pharmacy. The inactive bowling alley was destroyed too in the long overdue renovation at that very busy intersection of Borger, near the very center of the entire Texas panhandle.
But when I entered the sparkly fresh restaurant anxious for my Bacon Chicken Ranch on Something Random Picked Bread after at least four months without one, I was met with bizarre loud rock music and a line long of humans waiting. Plus that line now went from right to left instead of left to right, so I left the building after just a few seconds, maybe twelve, certainly less than thirty, hungry and irritated. The thought of eating in their environment glassed-in-box-on-display watching cars zoom by at this new vehicular busy location that used to be another glass smaller box ATM suddenly seemed totally bizarre and unnatural. I don't know which of those factors bothered me the most, or if they just quickly summed up as unacceptable, crossing a threshold, a virtual pressure relief valve, or rupture disc. Leave! Now! Go!
It was bad enough that I had just been to McDonald's and they didn't have any more McRibs or that my favorite local diner was closed on that day. No grilled chicken sandwich with bacon misery. There is always that horrible seasonal moment when you discover that McD suddenly rips away your favorite item, no, not just your favorite, your ONLY reason to ever go there, McRibs. Taste bud abuse. I hate you again McD, you evil giant food monster. Isn't that what God s'pposedly used to make woman in the Garden of Eden (?), no that was just a borrowed rib, not a barbequed rib; no bread, sauce, meat, dill pickle and onions. If he would have used a McRib then maybe women would suddenly, and magically, disappear and reappear at totally random times. Interesting thought.
It was a rare moment when I was hungry and I had absolutely no desire to cook anything plus the thought of creating dirty dishes annoyed me even farther. I think I finished the day with a bowl of breakfast cereal or a simple sandwich at home, I don't remember now what I had, just nothing fancy, with a side order of despair, sad taste buds that wanted to file for divorce from the rest of my body, and emptiness.
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9 comments:
I hate when you have your heart set on something but it doesn't turn out the way you expected. I'm not a big fan of subway or maccy D's anymore. I think I've had so much that i never want any again!
I really can't be a judge of the new Subway's food just yet, but I got a few negative responses from my friends when I posted this eXact same post on Facebooq. But I really cook so many things at home that I don't really need Subway food unless I'm on the road far away. I have learned to make an absolutely wonderful baked potato that I need to get posted on my other recipe blog. And I keep eXperimenting with Chicken Noodle Soup. My wife found a recipe from the downtown neighbor's and so far my sister-in-law has had no luck making it work, so I am going to give it a try.
I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but your words made me laugh. I'm thinking now about what if I really was made of McRibs. It might be kind of nice to vanish and reappear seasonally.
S Stauss: Yes, it was not funny at all while I was in the middle of it, with something else totally unrelated to the story bothering me momentarily as well and I had no inkling that I would write about these events later on, although I should have known better that events like this are almost always going to at least make it onto my Facebooq page.
I didn't actually write the humorous Adam's Rib BBQ Rib Disappear Reappear minor section until I had actually finished all the rest of the document, and the very last part was the "a borrowed rib, not a barbequed rib" poetic chunklet. Disappearing reappearing women would come in REALLY handy at times (ha hahahahah ha) I am sure I will get a LOT of grief for that last sentence.
I dunno, I'm with S.Stauss - I'd like to disappear and reappear also.
that is annoying when you look forward to eating something and don't get it, like your taste buds have got all dressed up and have nowhere to go.
I feel your pain. It got to the point at Plant Loco that if I bought it, it disappeared. I remember roaming the plant on a mission of finding one item in the vending machine to munch.
Restaurants disappear on me even here in China, grr. I used to keep one thing in the freezer that made me happy. Not anymore. The thing hubs and I are both lusting for is a pastrami, jarslberg, roasted pepper on whole grain bread. With Grey Poupon.
fmcgmccllc: Sweetie, I'm sure I could send you a bottle of Grey Poupon to 上海 if you need it reaLLy badly, unless you can wait for New Orleans, but I wasn't sure how far that was in the future. Hold it, is it even legal to send GrPo to China?
Julie: Knowing you, you would have TOO much fun disappearing and reappearing; mischief?
Yeah
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