My Wife is More Interesting Than a Dead Buffalo

It was suppertime on Wednesday evening and I show my dog Cooper that we're having buffalo burger for supper before we go outside to play. Then we head out to the backyard while it simmers.

But he soon forgets the buffalo and becomes maniacally interested in the stupid stray cat just beyond reach behind the north fence. I can see Mr. Black Cat through the cracks in the fence, although Cooper has only his nose to guide him, due to the height difference in the two backyards. Mr. Black Cat has the "upper" hand (or paw) and is causing deep mental consternation for Cooper and he is running back and forth along the fence and wants nothing to do with me, a ball and Quality Time. His sound is a mix of these: Focus. Focus on feline. Ferocious focus on feline on far side of fence. Later I tell him several times that supper is ready, using a variety of words, my sounds are focusing on the key word 'buffalo', a word he clearly knows but he doesn't respond at present. Zip bark, zip growl, zip whine along the wall, I can smell you through the cracks, repeat ad nauseum. Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishcat, well, Cooper doesn't really know the nationality of the cat, so I'm not sure how he would have ended that nursery rhyme. I finally resort to lying to my dog and yell out the back door to let him know that my wife is home (even though she isn't and hasn't been there for a week and who knows how many more). I yell out "Tamie's home" just out of eyeshot at the back door and in seconds he comes blasting into the house and goes to the living room and skids to a stop between her chair and the couch and stares at the front door, tail wagging. So I have reconfirmed another communication milestone that he understands that phrase after discovering its power a few weeks ago by accident. And to think I had to lie to our dog just to get him to come eat one of his favorite things.

So Honey, heal up and come home soon from your trip, as the dog thinks you are more interesting than a dead buffalo or a live cat.

Epilogue

Most all is getting well in the world – Tamie is now really home, recuperating and re-Cooper-ating, even more buffalo has been consumed, but the firecracker still frustrates just beyond the fence as the sleeping fetal positioned puppy barks in low volume and high pitch in his dreams at my feet.