How Apple Stole 692 iPads from Us

How terrible! Apple Inc told me what the dimensions were for my IPad screen and I was perfectly haPPy with things UNTIL just a few moments ago I noticed that the screen wasn't a perfect rectangle, it has rounded off CORNERS!

So if each iPad is missing maybe 8 pixels from each corner, that would be 32 per iPad so ... Hold it, I have to run off to get more info to comPlete this silly thought, be back in a moment ...

Info From Apple: 1024-by-768-pixel resolution at 132 pixels per inch (ppi) ... so that would be 786,432 pixels total per screen. So 32 lost or stolen pixels would mean there is a "missing" iPad for every (786432 divided by 32 = 24576) 24576 iPads that are produced. Now off to find how many iPads have been made ....

Missing: 692

It aPPears there are around 17 million iPads in the world aPProximately at this moment, so 17 million divided by 24576 = 692 (rounded off to a whole number) missing iPads based on stealing 32 pixels per screen. I chose the number 8 (per corner) because a corner pattern of 4,2,1,1 missing pixels was about the smallest that I could imagine that would give a rounded corner effect.

Example Using an X for Each Pixel:

X X X X.

X X.

X.

X.

I thought that a pattern of 2,1 wouldn't be as round. So I might be off on the number of pixels per corner, which would change the number of missing iPads. I may be able to create a simPle drawing to test the math. More later today when I can work from a real PC with Paint in order to draw at the pixel level, then pull it up on my iPad for a comParison.

I would have used a division sign of DOBOD, dot-over-bar-over-dot, instead of the words "divided by", but Apple Inc didn't provide one on their keyboard, just + - and * (for multiplication) .... well, I guess there is the "/" character available for division, sorry, my bad, forgot about that, oh well, just pretend this paragraph doesn't exist, like the corners of your screen.

I can hoPe that no one writes a serious story about any inaccuracies in my 2 AM silly story that under or over-estimates the number of The Missing iPads. Blame it on insomnia. I am pretty sure homeless peoPle are still a larger real problem and they need our helP more than The Mysteriously Missing 692 iPixel iPackages. So the next time you see a rounded corner on anything that should be square, give a dollar to the next homeless person that you meet. They could probably use a square meal.

eyePad Control Failure

Oooh, that was really strange ... as I was laying in bed reading the news on my iPad with it propped sideways on the nightstand by my bed and almost falling asleep I noticed that I was trying get the touch screen to scroll using my EYES instead of my finger. It's been that kinda day!!!

Then I started laughing at myself so much I started coughing and now I can't go to sleep and I am dead tired. Shopping. Been sh-hopping for cabinets and countertops for my wife's new salon location. No more lifting anything for 36 hours, please (?) at least I finally got up into the back of my truck for the first time today. Good thing I have a step stool, it's a long ways up and almost as far going down.

I remember my inner nerd dialogue wondering what is wrong with my iPad, why won't the page advance?!?!? And just like you try different finger motions and adjustments when doing complicated things, like copy and paste, I kept moving my eyelids in slightly different ways hoping for it to finally work, or maybe I need to try my eyelashes ...

[mental WHAM] 

... it was the eyelashes part that made me suddenly realize what what was going on. Of course I made the mistake of telling my wife who cracked up laughing as well.

I used a what what just then instead of a what, sorry.

eyePad oN tHe iNcrease (iPad ?)

Some things that only happen very early in the morning . .. ... .... .....

I was reading a news article on my iPad about the growth plans for the iPad market and manufacturing, when I received a "wireless" telepathic plea from my very own iPad, 

"I wanna be bigger too!", 

so I simply held it slightly closer to my eyes and my brain relayed the image back to the astonished device, which responded, 

"WOW ! How did you do that?!?"

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