Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.



New South Wyoming

I have recently started watching a teleBision program caLLed "Longmire". It is about a sheriff in Wyoming based on a character and series of books by author Craig Johnson.

I probably have a stronger than normal interest in the show because I have spent some time in Wyoming but never lived there. I lived several years in the neighboring South Dakota just a few miles away from the Wyoming line.

After watching the show for several weeks I sudenly discover that Longmire is actuaLLy filmed in New Mexico, not Wyoming! The state of New Mexico looks veRy similar to Wyoming. New Mexico also has a growing film and teleBision production infrastructure. 

I am not sure if it helps that Wyoming and New Mexico are both rectangularly shaped, Wyoming nearly perfect, while New Mexico has several minor misshape mistakes. Wyoming was supposed to be perfectly rectangular along lines of latitude and longitude, but the surveyors got off a bit in the rugged landscape in the northwest part.

So imagine my surprise when I see an advertisement on the A&E Channel for winning a trip to Longmire Country - and I wonder - which one? Old Wyoming or New Wyomexingico?

I went online to the Longmire website and the trip is to the real Wyoming, the Goosewing Ranch in Jackson Hole Wyoming.  Link: Longmire Best of The West Sweepstakes 

The first season of Longmire is currently available on Netflix.

Right now my body hurts from TOO much carpentry work and I plan to be on vacation sometime soon with the real Wyoming as part of my destination. I have already been to the state of South Wyoming, oops, I mean New Mexico, earlier this year for my "Breaking Bad" vacation. I took a few photos of Walter White's house in Albuquerque, but I messed up my schedule and didn't make it to Jesse Pinkman's house. The best part of Albuquerque is two restaurants: Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen and Fuddruckers

Fuddruckers has the best buffalo burger on the planet - I had TWO in the same day, a day I won't forget until mental illness erases it in 40 some years.

Pappadeaux's has a wonderful thing caLLed étouffée, and I get a mixture of shrimp and crawfish. You have to ask for the dual meat mix, I don't believe it is officially on the menu.

My June journey to and throughout Albuquerque was the first time I used a turn-by-turn voice based computer navigation system. I used mapping on my iPhone. There were veRy few mistakes from the system and it would constantly try to reroute me when I made a wrong turn, how cool. 

As I am sitting in Pappadeaux's getting ready to eat I make the grand decision: The neXt time I move the city must have a Pappadeaux Restaurant. 

So I ask my hand held wonder Apple device for the location of all Pappadeaux restaurants ...AND... it teLLs me there are NO Pappadeaux restaurants near my location WHILE I am actuaLLy sitting INSIDE a Pappadeaux restaurant. This makes me laugh a bunch. I love it when technology screws up so gloriously funny (and no one dies). Remember that the Apple device has already just led me to this current Pappadeaux. Having expensive wonderful food nearby that someone else is buying for my birthday meal helps, too. I don't know how, it just does. It's a Wyoming seafood mystery birthday miracle. 

That reminds me, I must look for buffalo to eat while wandering soon through real Wyoming.


Somewhere Between 60 and 80,000

Today I saw this in Wikipedia's "On This Day" segment:

1819 – Fifteen people were killed and 400–700 others were injured when cavalry charged into a crowd of about 60–80,000 who were gathered at St Peter's Field, Manchester, England, to demand the reform of parliamentary representation.

That seems odd to me that the guess was approximated as between 60 and 80,000. Hmmm(?) - that's just such a huge scale difference! For instance, 2 raised to the 6th power is 64 and 2 raised to the 16th power is 65536. 

Imagine a square group of people. The square root of 60 is close to 8, so a crowd of people 8 wide and 8 deep is close to 60. The square root of 80,000 is almost 253, so a crowd of people 253 by 253.

This eight: xxxxxxxx

This is 253: 

Everything above is just silliness because I am pretty sure they reaLLy meant between 60 thousand and 80 thousand.
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In other news closer to the home front I kiLLed a scorpion today and cooked somewhere between 80 and 60,000 grams of buffalo steak. The onion soup with buffalo broth is almost finshed, mmmmmm ....  Today I am trying the soup with crackers for the first time. Lately I have been making this soup about once a week.

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My favorite new show on teleBision is "Airplane Repo" on the Discovery Channel

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I tried caLLing someone on Sunday figuring they might be home. The person (an ex-relative) doesn't answer her phone. But she did send me a text message saying she was in a meeting and requested that I send her a text message detailing what I wanted. Of course she ALREADY knows what I want. I have already sent her a couple e-mails asking for her to clear up the outstanding business debt where she owes us about $1,000. We have been waiting patiently for about two years for her to clear this matter up. I also found out she had taken part of our inventory of products and put them in storage instead of returning them to us! I have no idea whether the products are stiLL in a sell-able condition. I doubt that one more text message is going to help. I guess I could ask the person in my family who is sending her child support payments to cough up my one thousand dollars. Its too bizarre. She claims her bag of money that had our payment in it was stolen from her. But of course that wasn't my problem, and its been about two years ago that this theft-burglary  supposedly happened. That's like about a dollar a day.


There Is A Small Probability That I Might Have Saved A Small Person

As I was leaving my neighborhood yesterday morning I stopped at the end of a westbound street and a young girl, maybe 5, was playing at the street corner, actually in the street. Alone.

I grew concerned and turned off my noisy diesel truck to talk to her. This girl looked a little too vulnerable, absolutely no one in sight at a normaLLy busy residential intersection.

From the cab of my truck I asked her if her momma knew she was playing in the street and where did she live.

She said "Yes, it was okay if she played in the street" and pointed east. I turned around to look then asked her, "Where the red pickup is?" and she shook her head yes.

Without saying anything else I put on the truck's four way flashers and started walking toward the house climbing the steep driveway. I think by this point the little barefooted girl realized she just might be in trouble for playing in the street. She came walking faster and zoomed around me in through the front door as I was knocking on the door twice.

I could hear a mumbled conversation inside the house, and then a disheveled just-woke-up mother appeared and as I was trying to eXplain the street situation she was suddenly on the floor struggling with a veRy happy bulldog who was eXcited to see me and trying to escape out the front door. The mother eXplained that the little girl should not have been alone and thanked me and introduced me to Lulu the bulldog. I remarked how just a few hours ago I had been doing an art project drawing a bulldog, the school mascot for Borger High School. I rarely meet bulldogs and this was the first time I had ever drawn one.

I returned to find my truck safely blinking, window down, keys stiLL in the ignition, and then it was off to the diner for breakfast.


The Pineapple Surprise

I found an interesting surprise in my pineapple plantation. My latest planting has sprouted what appears to be TWO swirls that wiLL produce two plants (fruit) instead of just one. This is the first time this has happened to me in probably 15 plants. I don't know how rarely this occurs.


A Computer Mouse, A Norse God, and Elmer's Gloo Walk Into A Taco Bell

This July and the first third of August have turned out to our best Spring in several years.

Where did aLL the rain come from and more importantly, what has been keeping it away so long?

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How I am celebrating my father's birthday this year: I am visiting the tiny town where he was born and spending time there. I don't remember ever being there, just close by. He has been gone a few years now.

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I am attending a party soon for my aunt's wedding anniversary. I realized by closeness in the number of years married and my age that I was most likely the youngest person in attendance at her wedding.

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I am eXcited about the final 8 episodes of Breaking Bad. I have studied this show extensively, watching the entire series at least four times, a few parts researched more than that. I love finding tiny technical errors in the shooting of scenes. I actuaLLy found an out-of-place cloud in the episode where Gus and Mike meet in the parking lot at the airport in season three, episode 4, "Green Light", about minutes 30 - 32.

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I have given up trying to get an electronic technician, chemist or computer scientist job. I am now focusing on an art career, mainly commercial. Buying lotza new toys for design and production of goods. We already have several people interested in buying things. It has been fun getting to work more with the wife as weLL. 

Yesterday evening as we were getting in the car she said, "I love You (ever so slight pause goes here) Tube." In case you missed a previous story that is our new form of siLLiness that she created several days ago.

I told her that 3 percent of me was severely suddenly disappointed, wanting to -cry-, eXpecting an honest "I love you" [after this last week of torture] but the other 97 percent of me was teLLing the 3 percent to "shut up, Namby Pamby Baby, wah, and enjoy the hilarity." She just laughed at this and hinted to eXpect more similar mental abuse.

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I am designing a wasp kiLLing machine that involves PVC pipe, a Dyson vacuum cleaner, and a garden hose. I like it that the vacuum cleaner has the "die" sound in its name, appropriate.

I am confused by the latest Dyson vacuum commercial claiming their vacuum cleaner has TWICE as much suction as other vacuum cleaners. I am not sure what that means eXactly. Pressure differential from atmospheric? Volume of air? I am confused.

Their web site mentions that it is a measure caLLed air watts. Of course my first response is AbbotCostelloishly, "What, errors?"

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It bothers me that I always type the word 'there' when I knew I wanted the word 'their' and I don't catch it until I proofread. I veRy clearly know the difference between the two words, and I live in a part of the country where most of us pronounce the two words differently. 

So maybe its an aging process thing. 


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I hate my mouse, it is old and unreliable. I would try to make a joke that it has lost its logic but then I looked at the mouse and realized there is no C in the name Logitech immediately after the I. So the best I can say is that has lost its Logi, or borrow the C from the tech part of the name then you are left with "teh" which means nothing. A search on Logi reveals that LOGI is the stock market symbol for the company that manufactured the mouse. Wikipedia also teLLs me that Logi is the Norse fire giant, god and personification of fire. He was married to someone named Glöð. I think that would be a great name for a wife of anyone named Elmer. Then at dinner parties when someone asked, "Is that Elmer's wife?" you could respond, "Yes, that's Elmer's Gloo."

[I haven't written a Norse mythology based piece of humor in several weeks so that may not be as funny to you as it was to me. I think the anglicized version of her name is Glod instead of Gloo but when I first saw the öð part of her name I thought it was two strange O's. I know, I know, I shouldn't be eXplaining my humor but the sun hasn't come up yet today and I have been awake too long and I accidentaLLy ruined my wife's leftover Taco Bell food while I was trying to cook mine. The fine people at Taco Bell put the label wrappers on wrong.]

Now I am wondering how I combined a computer mouse, Norse mythology, Elmer's glue, and Taco Bell.

I need coffee.


Core Hell Draw - The $aga

A saga is a story that tends to sag 3/4 of the time.

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I purchased a piece of software for our budding printing business. It was CorelDRAW Graphics Suite X6.

The veRy neXt day I try to purchase a drawing pad from Wacom, their model Cintiq 13HD. It is a $999 item and the smallest one of 3 in a family of products. A thousand dollars is more than what I can reaLLy justify in my brain, but I impulsively want it anyway, its a business write-off. BUT ... when the item is OutOfStock at Wacom you can't purchase it and have them eventuaLLy send it to you.

BUT ... I look around and the wonderful folks at Corel have the same eXact item, Wacom's Cintiq 13HD for sale and it too is currently out of stock, BUT ... Corel wiLL let you purchase it and they teLL you there is a 4 to 8 week wait. So I purchase it the day after the software purchase.

THEN ... on the Monday at about the same time that my CorelDRAW software is being delivered by FedEx I get an e-mail from Corel thanking me for my purchase AND ... the fun part ... at the bottom of the e-mail is a coupon for 15 percent off my NEXT purchase at www.corel.com !!! And I am thinking, man, if I just would have waited a few days I could have saved $150.

So I try to contact Corel to see if they will apply the 15 percent off coupon that is clearly tied to the purchase order number of the finished software transaction. The veRy first try dealing with the online help chat room ends with a "Sorry, I can't help you with that online, but here is a toll free number then hit extension 5"

So I try this and the person I get teLLs me that I can't use the discount on the second order because it has already taken place. And then I ask him about cancelling the order which has clearly not been processed, and he says that if I do that it will invalidate the coupon, which I think is strange because the coupon is tied to the first order with absolutely no mention of the second pending order. He says he wiLL have someone caLL me back within one hour to try to help me further in this situation.

So I wait one hour and one minute. --- No call back

I call the same number with extension 5 and the person puts me on hold to try to see what can be done.

A few minutes later I hear a strange noise and I see my phone call has been dropped.

I think "pirate noise, make an ARRRGGH pirate noise ...."

I moan sadly and non-pirate disgustingly, and I start to calculate the value of my time per hour versus the $150 potential savings, and then I get my second wind and I am in this now strictly for the enter-strain-ment value if all else fails.

I caLL back Corel with extension 5 and eXplain the entire story in great detail to someone new and this person says to hold on while he chats with some people. Several minutes later he comes back and says that he has talked to THREE people (boss sounding titles) and they have told him that the coupon is only good for SOFTWARE from Corel, not an outside item like the Wacom tablet that they are reselling. I tell him that is NOT what the e-mail coupon says, nothing about software only, it clearly states it is for purchases made at www.corel.com website, period, no restrictions, which I had done. AND ... I pointed out the falsehood of their website saying that they had knocked $200 off the regular price yielding a $999 price, when over at the manufacturer's website the item is $999 - regular price. I then told him that I was also irritated that I now have lost a thousand dollars of purchasing power on my credit card for 4 to 8 weeks while I am waiting for the Cintiq 13HD to be eventuaLLy delivered.

So he apologizes and I hang up irritated.

That was Monday
Today is Thursday

I go to my credit card to pay the small single charge for a monthly item on bill pay for the business. BUT I notice that there isn't a thousand dollar purchase pending at Corel ... strange. There is nothing on the credit card website that eXplains what happened to my order.

So I log onto my account at Corel - sure enough the second order has been canceLLed! 

Hmmm, Um, My My, ... I don't remember teLLing them to cancel my order for my new toy.

I check my e-mail to see if there is any notification of this activity - nothing.

I look a little farther to find an email from Corel about a different product, the twice as expensive model Cintiq 22HD - a two thousand dollar beast - $2000 - ONLY .... wait for it 

- drum roLL please -

In this e-mail they are telling me that I have not finished purchasing the Cintiq 22HD and if I complete the order TODAY they will knock $200 off the price! 

Moment of Clarity: It was hard enough justifying $1000 for the 13 inch screen wonder, but nearly twice as much money, $1800 for the larger 22 inch beast, no way, I am not poor, but I reaLLy can't justify this eXpense at all. PLUS I don't remember ever putting the 22HD on the shopping cart at the Corel website (?)

But ... just for grins I decide to see if their new "coupon" works, and I click on the link that takes me to their website. It seems to work fine. I do not complete the order process.

So, this company is NOT willing to give me $150 off my purchase of the $999 unit, the thing I reaLLy want that they have somehow canceLLed, BUT they are willing to knock "more" money off the more eXpensive item that I don't want.

So I try again purchasing my Cintiq 13HD - and encounter something positively freaky. For some reason they have mysteriously knocked another 10% - $100 - off the price!

So altogether I think I have spent an eXtra 4 hours dealing with this order mess, and at $100 savings, that would mean $25 per hour. Not bad. 

Lets hope this order doesn't get mysteriously canceLLed.

For now (4-8 weeks) I can watch other people play with their Cintiq 13HD's on YouTube. 

I love YouTube. 

Update: ARRRGGGh!!! It is now Friday evening and I found out that my most recent purchase at Corel was CANCELLED!!!! I have caLLed  their customer support and I have been on hold for 39 minutes and 13 seconds (So Far) and the music is absolutely horrendous. I couldn't hold it to my ear and put it on speaker phone. I wiLL let you know how things turn out .... if I ever get to talk to anyone.

I also checked my e-mail and there was no notification from Corel that my order had been cancelled. And I already know that they can communicate by e-mail on that particular account from previous order activity.

Update: About a minute later I got a recorded message teLLing me there were no people there to help me, and to leave a message for them to get in touch with me later.

Update: On Monday a rep from Corel caLLed and attempted to fix the order in their system. So hopefully the order goes through, although he messed up the Bill To address. Hopefully it works this time. The rep also gave me FREE shipping by the fastest means FedEx which I thought was reaLLy nice.


The Lost Art of Vacuum Ing

So I get my windshield replaced in my Ford F-350 truck this week. I go to the eXtra eXpense of getting a windshield with the words "SUPER DUTY" in decal s'pposedly like the factory original.

But no. The lettering is crap. (Can I use the word crap in a G rated blog? Not sure. Lets change that to used food.) the lettering is used food. 

But I don't say anything about it as I am just glad to have the big crack gone on the driver's side AND more importantly I wanted the machine to pass the Texas imposed annual inspection.

But the windshield was replaced late in the day of the last day of the month July and so I didn't reaLLy eXpect them to put the old sticker on the new windshield. They did notice that my new state license for the window was laying in the seat and it was installed.

So I go to pay for the windshield and they teLL me it wiLL be ready after their person has a chance to vacuum my truck.

I ask, " Vacuum?"

And they told me they always vacuum.

Oh. I teLL them it's a work truck. Designed to be dirty. A lot.

So I return several hours later to find a vacuumed truck, BUT they have left the old safety inspection sticker on my middle console AND there is a bunch of icky dryed paint flake looking glue semi sticky stuff scattered about which spreads easily in the wind.

So I call my favorite mechanic to get an inspection the neXt day but he teLLs me that he thinks he doesn't have the current month (August) in stock yet. But then apologizes in the neXt breath to say he was out of motorcycles and he does have stickers for trucks and cars. So he teLLs me to come by later in the afternoon when his son comes back from lunch.

So the son has me go shopping while he finishes a starter job, which is just fine with me.

So ... because I am arriving on August ONE, I thought I was going to get an August sticker, but no, I wound up getting a July sticker! So it was like I got cheated out of a month's worth of sticker-ness. But that is okay. The son is an HVAC client so the neXt time I do something for him I wiLL just charge him an eXtra $1.21 - the value of one month out of twelve for the $14.50 that I paid.


Today is new toy day. I got CorelDRAW Graphic Suite X6, AND best of aLL its a business eXpense. We are getting into the printing business. I put together the machine for doing silk screen printing this week along with some required carpentry work, which of course means even more new toys. Heavy duty jigsaw and a compound power mitre saw complete with a laser beam. Yes. I own a laser beam. It's just a pointer that shows where the saw blade is going to do its thing. 


I like light bulb jokes. I heard a great one today:

How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: None. Vampires like it in the dark.

I came to the conclusion that if I could travel back in time it would be to Menlo Park NJ to the point in time right after Thomas Edison created the light bulb. Why did I choose that point? So I could then be the veRy first person to tell a change a light bulb joke!

And Thomas E would ask me, "You expect people to change their own light bulbs?!?!?"

And then Thomas E got reaLLy eXcited when I told him about the time travel machine.


I am sitting at the shop and my wife is on my left side a few feet away turning ribbon into bows. She says something to me.

This is what I hear: "I love you, too"

I am puzzled because I know she is talking to me but those four words I love you too seem veRy disconnected from our current conversation. But there is a hair dryer going 5 feet to my right, so I am thinking "What?!?!?"

So I ask her, "Did you just say, "I love you, too?"

She cracks up laughing and says, "NO! I said, I love YouTube" - because she has been learning so many crafty ideas lately.

I found this terribly amusing.



Almost Every 42 Minutes from Latvia

I have several blogs of minor viewership for contents other than writing in English. There are blogs for Kakuro, recipes, abstract art, cartoons, photography etc. I have noticed a strange common behavior in the "readership" of these blogs: Latvia

Its a country far away from me.

Several of my blogs get a hit from Latvia every 42 minutes. Almost. There are some pauses in this behavior and I don't know why it is occuring. Who, what and why this behavior eXists is veRy puzzling.

There are source references to site http://r-e-f-e-r-e-r.com

It would be nice if this web behavior went away. It is also a waste of the good number 42.


I Used Al Qida To Take The Day Off

Because there was a global embassy closing terrorism scare I decided to take the day off and stay home. I celebrated by doing laundry and dishes. Ha!

What a bunch of idiots we have at the top running and ruining our federal government. Al Qida says, "Boo!" and you shut down a bunch of embassies. You are doing the eXact opposite thing of the correct plan of action. They are just criminals. Period. Just keep killin' 'em and slappin' them in jail permanently and maybe, just maybe, the remaining stupid idiots wiLL catch on and grow a brain cell or two and realize they should stop fighting us.

Meanwhile CNN has been going ape (bleep) crazy all day.

Just keep fighting them. Secretly. Silently. Surprisingly. Supremely. Succintly.

In more important news I have figured out the eXact perfect amount of time it takes my microwave oven to cook a package of Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Corn Gourmet Popcorn. I also multiplexed and worked on my Spanish from the package while eating the bowl of popcorn. Un poco dulce y un poco salado. The number is 95 seconds.


A Rice Shadow in the Dust by Abraham Lincoln

I went to MySpace last night to show my friend at the diner an art project where I had wrote the Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln on Minute Rice with a veRy fine tipped pen. BUT ... when I finaLLy got logged into MySpace I discovered that my MySpace blog appears to be gone. I did find a picture that has some of the final words of the Gettysburg Address.

I told my friend that it appears that when I left the Gettysburg Address laying on my old table at my old house that veRy fine dust had come down between the spaces around the grains of rice, and then a mouse had came along and ate the rice, leaving a pattern, a rice shadow in the dust.

I went back today on my PC instead of my iPad and I was able to find more pictures, but not a complete Gettysburg Address, just most of it. I put a U.S. penny coin for size comparison, with Abraham Lincoln on it.

The type of pen was a Mitsubishi Uniball Signo Bit UM-201 0.18 mm gel type, that I believe is no longer available.  I think the difference in color between the third picture and the first two was just with and without a flash on the camera, because I am pretty sure I used the same pen for the entire project.
So imagine the grains of rice missing on the middle picture and you can get an idea of the rice-sized-holes in the fine layer of dust on the table top.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. 

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. 

We are met on a great battlefield of that war. 

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. 

It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. 

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate, we can not consecrate, we can not hallow this ground. 

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. 

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. 

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. 

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom

—and that government 

of the people, 

by the people, 

for the people, 

shall not perish 

from the earth.

New Blog for My Abstract Art ... Come Visit

Click HERE for the Art of Ernest S B Boston

These are pieces that I have generated mainly using computer art tools. Enjoy !

Something New:

I am also in the process of linking my poetry blog entries together. This project is only partially finished. A "Poetry LINK" at the bottom of the blog entry points to the next older piece of poetry.

First poem in the series of linked poems ....

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Blog Archive

My Art

These are some of my abstract art pieces. They are available as prints, send me a note if you are interested.

Couch Glow

Couch Glow

Gold As Smoke

Gold As Smoke

Flowing Wood

Flowing Wood