Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.



The Lost Art of Vacuum Ing

So I get my windshield replaced in my Ford F-350 truck this week. I go to the eXtra eXpense of getting a windshield with the words "SUPER DUTY" in decal s'pposedly like the factory original.

But no. The lettering is crap. (Can I use the word crap in a G rated blog? Not sure. Lets change that to used food.) the lettering is used food. 

But I don't say anything about it as I am just glad to have the big crack gone on the driver's side AND more importantly I wanted the machine to pass the Texas imposed annual inspection.

But the windshield was replaced late in the day of the last day of the month July and so I didn't reaLLy eXpect them to put the old sticker on the new windshield. They did notice that my new state license for the window was laying in the seat and it was installed.

So I go to pay for the windshield and they teLL me it wiLL be ready after their person has a chance to vacuum my truck.

I ask, " Vacuum?"

And they told me they always vacuum.

Oh. I teLL them it's a work truck. Designed to be dirty. A lot.

So I return several hours later to find a vacuumed truck, BUT they have left the old safety inspection sticker on my middle console AND there is a bunch of icky dryed paint flake looking glue semi sticky stuff scattered about which spreads easily in the wind.

So I call my favorite mechanic to get an inspection the neXt day but he teLLs me that he thinks he doesn't have the current month (August) in stock yet. But then apologizes in the neXt breath to say he was out of motorcycles and he does have stickers for trucks and cars. So he teLLs me to come by later in the afternoon when his son comes back from lunch.

So the son has me go shopping while he finishes a starter job, which is just fine with me.

So ... because I am arriving on August ONE, I thought I was going to get an August sticker, but no, I wound up getting a July sticker! So it was like I got cheated out of a month's worth of sticker-ness. But that is okay. The son is an HVAC client so the neXt time I do something for him I wiLL just charge him an eXtra $1.21 - the value of one month out of twelve for the $14.50 that I paid.


Today is new toy day. I got CorelDRAW Graphic Suite X6, AND best of aLL its a business eXpense. We are getting into the printing business. I put together the machine for doing silk screen printing this week along with some required carpentry work, which of course means even more new toys. Heavy duty jigsaw and a compound power mitre saw complete with a laser beam. Yes. I own a laser beam. It's just a pointer that shows where the saw blade is going to do its thing. 


I like light bulb jokes. I heard a great one today:

How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: None. Vampires like it in the dark.

I came to the conclusion that if I could travel back in time it would be to Menlo Park NJ to the point in time right after Thomas Edison created the light bulb. Why did I choose that point? So I could then be the veRy first person to tell a change a light bulb joke!

And Thomas E would ask me, "You expect people to change their own light bulbs?!?!?"

And then Thomas E got reaLLy eXcited when I told him about the time travel machine.


I am sitting at the shop and my wife is on my left side a few feet away turning ribbon into bows. She says something to me.

This is what I hear: "I love you, too"

I am puzzled because I know she is talking to me but those four words I love you too seem veRy disconnected from our current conversation. But there is a hair dryer going 5 feet to my right, so I am thinking "What?!?!?"

So I ask her, "Did you just say, "I love you, too?"

She cracks up laughing and says, "NO! I said, I love YouTube" - because she has been learning so many crafty ideas lately.

I found this terribly amusing.



Rob Z Tobor said...

How does Thomas Edison change a light bulb

He cant he just has the one . . . . . HAHAH HAH HAH AH HAH AH HAH HA HAH AH HAH AH HAHHAH AHHAHa

As it happens the early light bulbs worked happily for years on end and never needed changing. Now they are rubbish. A clear case of technology being destroyed by the need to make money.

Ooooo silk screen printing very exciting what are you planning on producing.

esbboston said...

"Can't only has one" - agree, hahahahaha

She is going to be printing shirts for sporting events with school mascots. She is also in the homecoming mum business, a very Texas sort of thing. So she is a veRy busy person this time of year. She is trying to encourage me to be busy but I am smarter than that. I half spent enough of my life trying to do two or more things at one time. Now I am trying to excel at doing half a thing at a time.

Badger said...

Your activities never cease to amaze me.

esbboston said...

Ah, yes, I have a few duLL moments but I lie about those ones. I have a great time foLLowing you as weLL, Mr Globetrotter. I keep forgetting to get my Australian spices ordered, I wiLL try to get that done tonight. We are having a 'Firefly' marathon, watching the episodes of the space-western teleBision show from 2002-2003 on Netflix.

Anonymous said...

i love youtube as well. Am I wrong to like watching those helmetcam things in Afghanistan? In Danish?

esbboston said...

Garry: There are veRy few things that I would teLL you that are wrong to watch, and it would be basicaLLy wrong to teLL you at aLL. I aM noT surE whaT A helmeT caM iN afghanistaN iS gooD foR especiallY iF yoU arE tryinG tO looK aT danisH alL thE waY froM denmarK. I would think that things would be a bit blurry especiaLLy with the horizon in the way. Oh, the opacity of cities. Isn't Helmetcam a province of Afghanistan? No wait, that is Helmand. I have always thought that name souded rather non-Afghani, or if you like my word: Off-ghani

Rob Z Tobor said...

Hello Mr ESB . . . . . . I thought I would come back and say hello.

esbboston said...

Hi Rob!!!! Hope you are having a great day out on the western frontier. I just got finished posting a tale of my dealings with trying to use a coupon. I had a great time last night at the diner talking to the owner about her eXperiences with feng shui. She knew far more about it than I ever imagined. Plus it rained. I am just glad my son is coming home, been gone for several days in a special desolate situation (on purpose) and I got to talk to him by phone finally, so that was nice.

New Blog for My Abstract Art ... Come Visit

Click HERE for the Art of Ernest S B Boston

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Something New:

I am also in the process of linking my poetry blog entries together. This project is only partially finished. A "Poetry LINK" at the bottom of the blog entry points to the next older piece of poetry.

First poem in the series of linked poems ....

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

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