Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2012-02-01

Later Today I Might Accidentally Become The Smartest Person In The World

"No !!!!"

There is something that my wife absolutely hates.

"No-OOOOoooo !!!!"

There is a teleBision commercial for J. C. Penney's that has a single word, either alone or repeated, the word "no". It has been playing eXtremely often for about the last week. The commercial consists of several scenes where people are completely traumatized by Sale signs, discount sale signs with an overwhelming number of percentages, and coupons flooding out of mail boxes, etc. People are screaming the word NO singularly or repeating it in so many different ways. It ends with the words enough.is.enough on a plain white background, which also has a pair of no's in it! (eNOugh) Well, it's about 2 AM and s'pposedly SOMETHING special is happening at J.C. Penney's later today on Feb 1st, something BIG. I have no idea, maybe a sale?!?!?

I also have stated a few days ago that if this commercial was on an endless loop it would make a great torture device.

"No !!!!"

Well, one of the things I like to do is study commercials AND make predictions. I suddenly came up with a brilliant idea for a commercial. Flip it. This horrendous negative 'people are sad' NO!!!! commercial should be followed up with a positive spin commercial where the SAME people in the negative NO scenes are now in positive YES!!! scenes where they are eXcited about the items that they are purchasing AND more importantly, flaunting their savings, screaming, crying. These commercials would have the people eXclaiming YES!!!! in a huge variety of ways.

"No !!!! No !!!! No !!!! No !!!!"

My wife looked at me kinda strangely from across the living room, begging something to the effect, "oh no, I hope you're not right, I hope I don't have to endure this all over again!" So I told her that if I am correct and there is a YES commercial (like what are the odds? One in a million?) then she has to go to work and tell her sister that she (my wife) is married to the most intelligent person in the world.

NO!!!!!!

(of course, my sister-in-law already knows this)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(But I do think it would make a great commercial, maybe not Super Bowl great, but it would be a logical follow up series of commercials.)

Extra: my favorite No!!!! scene is the first segment, it has the words on an overhead sign "65% off yesterday"

No-No-No-No-No-No

I hope all the interspersed No Lines in my blog post weren't too anNOying, you NOw have a taste of what I have been enduring for the last week.

18 comments:

MOV said...

this is hilarious. I do not watch many commercials bec. we have TiVo and fast-forward thru them, but there is one on now that I adore, it is something about "get rid of cable" and it starts out with a guy on the phone waiting for the cable co, he has to wait forever so he gets mad, goes to blow off steam by playing raquetball, gets hit in the eye, goes to ER, gets an eye patch, riding bus home and punks think he's "tough" (bec. of eye patch) and next thing you know, they beat him up and he's in a ditch. DON'T GET CABLE. Ohmygosh this commerical is hysterical, I love it so much. It is EXACTLY the type of commerical I would come up with.

Anyway, I will be watching for the JCPenney thing now that you told me. Have a great day!

best,
MOV

Rob Z Tobor said...

All I can say is ....... maybe

I have decided to add my word verification. And I can hear you ask is there a reason for this ....... No

zonin

fmcgmccllc said...

I briefly noted an article, I think in the NYT that the CEO of J.C. Penny was tasked with "fixing this ####" and I did not read the article as I have not shopped there in over 25 years.

I guess I will say no, not yes, no and then I don't think so.

esbboston said...

MOV: yes, those Get Rid of Cable are hilarious. I had a long article in Facebook about them, but I don't remember mentioning them on my blog.

Rob Z Tobor: Oh Exalted leader of RATs of Wales, I salute you. Never mind the blog title, at most I could ever be the Smartest Person in The Neighborhood. I just came up with something wonderfully silly that my wife has to tell her sister just in case I actually predicted the future. I am sure I could never be the smartest guy in the world because there are too many Miss Steaks in Wikipedia and the Genius That Lurks in Wales (you).

My Favorite Non-Chinese Shanghai-ese: I buy practically all my shirts there, and certain other unmentionables. Darnsies, I kinda mentioned them. I usually wear the same almost eXact shirt 99.5 percent of the time, a single color short sleeve solid polo in a huge variety of colors. My closet is a rainbow. I have a picture somewhere that I will post. At least one of my children thinks its boring, my shirt choice.

Marianne said...

Just left the JC Penney site. They carry talls. YES!!!

esbboston said...

Marianne: I am jealous. I am a mediumly short person, and not one time that I have ever gone to JCP have they ever offered to pick me up and carry me around so that my wee little legs wouldn't get tired, or so that I could see all the reaLLy good things they keep hidden on the top shelves for the Tall Non-Elves. Maybe after I become TSPITW then I will figure out a way for height challenged humanoids to shop at all elevations. I am thinking the solution is a combination of jet pack, scaffolding and slilts, or possibly a V-22 Osprey.

esbboston said...

Sorry, that was s'pposed to be stilts, not slilts. I hope thats not a bad word in some other land-guage.

Rob Z Tobor said...

"My closet is a rainbow". This is a great line, almost straight out of the Wizard of OZ, only better. I think there must be a post worthy of the mind of Mr ESB for a rainbow closet or even a closet rainbow. I am an open the door a throw it in man (Eccentric Child) myself so my wardrobe (closet, I dont know you Americans and your funny words)is Chaos. making every day a surprise, a crumpled surprise.

esbboston said...

Rob Z T: I tried uploading the shirts-in-closet photo to my blog, but blogger appears to be messed up at the moment.

Ah, Sadness.

NO!!!!

esbboston said...

I was finally able to get a photo uploaded to blogger, but not directly from the editor, strange. I had to go to Picasa first, then back to blogger.


Shirts in Closet

Pearl said...

I NOOOOOO exactly which commercial you're talking about it, and I hate it with a passion that rivals your wife's.

Except I agree that it's kinda funny that there was an advertised 65% off sale yesterday. :-)

Pearl

S. Stauss said...

This gave me the shaking giggles.

esbboston said...

S. Stauss: I'm sorry TSG, The Shaking Giggles, is incurable. But that is a good thing, YES!!!!

Julie Hutchinson said...

yep - bet you're right, let us all kNOw when the YES commercial starts...

Friko said...

I can't bear it, so stop it. No? Why not?
Your poor wife, how does she cope? She doesn't? Oh no!

esbboston said...

Friko: you made my morning, laughing out mediumly loud. I will ask my wife and (maybe) give you her response. Right now I am making soup, maybe she only loves me for my soup and vacuuming skills.

esbboston said...

Friko: Her response was, "I don't listen all the time"

fmcgmccllc said...

Gotta love the wife comment. Sometimes hubs will look at me and say "I told you that", my response, "What made you think I listened?"

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