Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2015-08-29

No Google, Kasich Didn't Say That!!!

I found this interesting thing in Google's display of un-formation of a half-something John Kasich said.


From Google:


Abolish all teachers?!?!?!? No, this is what he really said:


I also found this headline with two negative words:


"Breaking Down" in this article really means "Examining In Detail"

Then I found a huggy time reference in New England from CNN:


"resorts" ?!?!? - that might be a stretch of the reality of the situation.

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In the Trump World, I heard that Sarah Palin was going to interview Donald Trump. "interview"? I laughed for a good ten minutes when I heard those words, just imagining the conversations those two love birds could possibly have. So I guess Palin wants to become the next Barbara Walters. Palin and Trump, the incoherent ineptitude interviewing the incompletely insane. Perhaps they wiLL hug.

And now Trump has attacked Anthony Weiner. I am thinking, "Why?" What good did that do? I am utterly surprised that no one has assassinated Trump yet. 




2015-08-27

Cars, Starring Hugh Laurie, Playing In My Head

My recent dream was a slight modification of the television series House. The characters of House were focused on making difficult automotive repairs. They used medical diagnostic equipment and lingo to repair veRy difficult car problems. It followed the House format of seemingly getting the car fixed only to have it break down again. House then fixed it replacing something minor. 


It was veRy vivid when I first woke up but then I rapidly forgot the details.

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Exciting News: My first new leaf is growing on my 2nd orchid plant. My jungle by the glass back door works its magic.

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My neighbor was working on my car trying to figure out a fuel system problem. But after 17 days I gave up on him and had a tow truck take it to my favorite mechanic's shop. I have been using him for over twenty years. My neighbor used to work in his shop, but they had a parting of ways.

My neighbor was frightened one day by wasps that had recently decided to live in the grill area of the car. Being deathly afraid of them, he grabbed his little boy who had followed him to my house and in the process of running away had dropped the key to the car.

Then it took a few more days of him not working on my car for me to finally give up on him. I had not ound out just yet in the process about the lost key. So he finally told me about it and asked me to let him know how much it would cost to replace the key.

Answer: It was a smart key and so it cost $75.76

I sent him a text message about 12 hours ago and have not heard a reply yet.

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So now Trump's strange news of the moment is about having a woman come on stage to pull his hair to show its attached to his head.

So I would call this the race of the "hair versus the torture us" with more nonsense. I think the torture us is winning.

I am glad that the Walter Cronkite of Latin America is boldly forcing Trump answer policy questions and asking other news people to do the same thing. 

Trump recently made bold claims about how the black vote was going his way. But of course that is total gibberish according to recent poll work. He would lose against Biden, who isn't even running, by a huge margin. 

I think Trump has a god complex. I think he thinks he can simply speak things into existence.

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One of my veRy closest friends from the diner was convicted in a jury trial and was sent to prison for three years. I knew absolutely nothing about this event until it was over, and I am completely devastated. Last night was the first time I tried to eat an evening meal at the diner without her, and it was terribly painful. I would go to see her in the temporary holding place, but I think I would just cry the entire 80 miles there and back. So I think I will stick to letters right now. The owner of the diner gave me a free six pack of beer as a grief present a couple days ago. We are all in a state of shock. I need to bake a cake and take to the diner, as is my custom. I hope her permanent (undecided) location in the Texas prison system isn't too far.


2015-08-26

Dear Roger Ailes

Dear Roger Ailes,


I wish that you would try an experiment with your Fox News Network. I would like you to try stopping your coverage of Donald Trump. Just totally ignore him and see what happens to his cam-pain. No, I didn't spell campaign wrong. When I hear his name or voice I get a headache. Donald is merely running a gigantic reality television show for free using everyone's airtime. It's nonsensical entertainment filled with hate speech. You are enabling a Hitler-type dictator wanna-be. Stop it.

Ernest S B Boston

Why Did The Honey Bee Cross The Road? No, Sorry, Wrong Joke, Which Came First, Bee vs Honey


For decades there have been bugs in software. Now we have put software on bugs.

I am thinking negatively for a second, what could possibly go wrong, with visions of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles going through my head. The intersection where insects meet the Internet.

Buzz 1.0

Honey I Shrunk The Honey Microprocessor

2015-08-23

Cooper Votes

I am having a hellishly busy week where I have contractor fixing water damage, problems with Best Buy sending a bad incompetent joke of a plumber to do a dishwasher install which he screws up leaving water leaks and a broken brand new appliance AND my wife overloads me with work in our printing business. It wasn't completely her fault, she honestly thought she was taking an order for a certain quantity BUT then the customer later clarified it was for FIVE times the amount. 


So I am exhausted yet surprisingly keeping it together.

I wake five mornings ago and tell myself (jokingly) that I need to put Cooper up for adoption because I don't have time to take care of him. [Of course the reality is that he is the thing my daily world revolves around, my source of joy] But then my neXt thought is, "I could kill two birds with one stone by putting my wife up for adoption instead. I wouldn't be eXhausted AND I would have plenty of time for my dog."

So I decide to put it to a vote where the only one voting is the dog.

I am in the kitchen and I turn to him sitting attentively in the livingroom and ask him if we should get rid of Tamie, put her up for adoption. He just looks at me seriously, staring, not blinking. So I rephrase the question slightly but I get the same eXact response which seems to be 'No'.

So I ask him if he would like treats, his dog biscuit and Beggin' Strips. He smiles. A definite Yes.

I go to work and tell this complete tale to my wife who enjoys it immensely. She says, "Do you realize how spoiled rotten that dog is? I made chili last night and cooked ground beef and mixed some in with his dog food aNd he didn't eat it! So then I realized he wanted his usual ingredient, so I spinkled a veRy small amount of beef jerky crumbs on top and he ate it like normal."

2015-08-05

Five Inches of Canine Confusion

Because my Cooper is getting older he is having a harder time climbing up on the bed. So I lowered it down about five inches by removing the metal framework.

Now it is the same height as the couch in the livingroom which he has no problems with getting onto. BUT he is confused about the bed. He doesn't seem to understand what has happened and he won't just jump up on it. He has complained loudly about it. We spent about an hour trying to help him. He did 'crawl' onto it once with Tamie helping him, it was hilarious, but then couldn't figure it out again. He finally gave up and slept on the floor. He even SAW me remove the metal frame.

Old dogs, old tricks.

At least I got to enjoy watching Tamie make running and jumping examples for the dog.

Old women, old tricks.


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If three beers a day wiLL get you to age 110, I am wondering if a 6-pack wiLL let you reach 220.


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I saw a headline: 

Massachusetts Mayor Calls Bobby Jindal The 'Gomer Pyle' of Politics

I thought this was very unfair to Gomer Pyle.


Plus Ted Cruz trying to make bacon with a machine gun. Only Rachel Maddow pointed out that it wasn't a machine gun, it was a semi-automatic.


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I just realized I usually go for several months at a time without ever thinking of Hubert Humphrey.

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At first I thought I had an injury on the knuckle of my right hand. Then I realized it was dried ketchup from supper eleven hours ago. I have no idea how I missed that, I remember wiping my hands off with a napkin, bizarre.

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Fargo!!!! Season 2!!!! October!!!!

I saw that production is currently underway for season 2 of Better Call Saul in Albuquerque.

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Donald Trump found the love of his life at a very early age. It was the first time he looked in a mirror.

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2015-08-02

T Rump, The Lizard King

Former President Jimmy Carter is wrong about the US being an oligarchy. With the Koch brothers spending so much on a vast number of elections it is really an "oil"-igarchy.
Hahahaha, oh, I love my new word.

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Insomnia, Outsomnia

Withinsomnia, Withoutsomnia

For the first time in weeks I didn't wake up at 3 AM.

I woke up at 10:30 PM and stayed awake until 3 AM.

I am not sure I am making progress. 


Yesterday was a very sad day and this is going to be a tough week. We lost a special friend, one of our cosmetology renters, passed away. I enjoyed her very much. I always looked forward to our chats and laughter on Friday afternoons. She cared for so many people in life and was a grand example for all.


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We have received a ridiculous amount of rain this year. We are at about 24 inches so far when we should have received 12 and after about a decade of drought, especially the final three years of it were scorchers, ending about 15 months ago.


With the help of rain barrels I have been able to water my vineyard entirely with rain water. I am about 3/4 finished harvesting my grapes. Its my first harvest with a significant yield on 3 out of 4 plants. I am not sure why the grapes are tiny on the southwest plant, the largest plant.


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The new head of the DEA says that marijuana is less dangerous than heroin. He used the word 'probably'!!!

DUH !!!!!

I hate drugs.


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I will be glad when The Donald is gone. He is such an evil mental imbecile. He has taken megalomania to a whole new level I call gigalomania, which is appropriate as the prefix 'giga' means billion. 


He can't even admit that he has said something that he clearly said, "John McCain is not a war hero." He has this bizarre word algebra where he thinks that saying the opposite statement (sarcastically) four times will negate the original saying. He only said the positive statement because the moderator had instantly chided him AND the audience began to boo him. 


IF he was running for president and doing exactly the same things and saying the exact things WITHOUT the billions of dollars of wealth and previous celebrity status NO ONE would be listening to him. 


His only agenda seems to be building a Mexican wall, bombing ISIS so he can steal their oil and hiring the idiot Palin, the younger female version of his brain for his cabinet. All this while hiring hundreds of immigrants in the past for his empire when he makes all these job creating claims for Americans. He doesn't even seem to be able to properly value his business empire with estimates scattered over a huge range. 


The United States deserves someone far better than this to be the president.


2015-05-15

We Should Rename It Tennes-Three

After I got home from the groc store late at night about 11 PM I sat down on the couch after putting everything away. Then Cooper complained to me, and I suddenly remembered that I had forgot to get his dog biscuits at the store, after I had told him early in the day I would get him some. Luckily there was a box of tiny dog biscuits for Trixie still at our house, so I gave him three of those.


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I have 36 windows open in my Safari web browser. Perhaps I should close a few.

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I learned something new. The state of Tennessee is legally split into three sections: East, Middle and West. They are called Grand Divisions. They are represented by the three stars in the state flag.

When I checked the state quarter for Tennessee they emphasized the distinct music styles of the Grand Divisions and put three musical instruments and three stars. BUT I noticed that the star in the middle position is significantly smaller than the other two.
(I'm sorry, the blogger iPad app didn't pull in this photo of the Tennesse quarter so I will have to do it layer when I get to the office on my PC)

It may be difficult to see the difference in this photo on Facebook, but I used a caliper type device to detect the difference in the original photo.

I put a Tennessee quarter in my flat bed scanner and then used CorelDRAW to measure the longest dimension of the two stars in question. The smaller star is approximately 89% (+/- 1%) as wide as the larger star.

I think they should rename the state Tennes-three.

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Today's Math Lesson: There are 364 holes in my laundry hamper, almost one for each day of the year. So I can look at my empty hamper and imagine a hole-y year. If you include the mouth of the hamper that would be 365.

My friend from Delaware asked me if I counted them all. I told her it was easy because there were 4 sections of 9x10 then the 4 holes for handles.

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RIACH-Herd has a new look: Sunglasses
(RIACH: Reindeer In A Cup Holder)


He has a secret stash of BBQ sauce packets in his bag just for me.

It is hard to see from the camera angle, but he has a beautiful smile.

2015-05-10

Spring Brings Fling

In 'Lost & Found' on Facebook someone presented a photograph of a pair of shoes, that had been tied together, and then thrown up into a tree. So I wrote this poem about them.


Spring Brings Fling

Spring will bring out a juvenile thought
To fling a thing like two shoes aloft,
Something normally found upon the ground
Is now in branches bound and uneasily downed.
But now the birds can groom it best
As a robin builds a fancy two room nest.
She just must remember not to untie the knot
Or her young could fall and die for naught.

2015-05-03

After A While A Crocodile Will Smile

After A While A Crocodile Will Smile

A croc's skill is to kill
A croc's thrill is to fill
A croc's tummy
With soMEthing yummy.
Oh no, he has his sights on ME!
It is my skill to avoid and flee
And leave a void in his digestive tract
For if I fail to flee it will be my final act.

I thought that a Kiswahili version would be useful

Ujuzi mamba ni kuua
msisimko mamba ni kujaza
mamba ya tumbo 
Na kitu ladha. 
Msaada! Ana me ajili vile lengo!
Ni ujuzi wangu ili kuepuka na kukimbia
Na kuondoka utupu katika matumbo yake
Kwa maana kama mimi kushindwa kukimbia itakuwa kitendo yangu ya mwisho.

2015-04-20

Poles

Poles


I Think That I shall never see
A pole lovely as a Tree

A pole wiTh a horizonTal 2 by 4 aT iTs cresT
Upon iT insulaTors where wires can resT

A pole thaT poinTs direcTly up a
T God all day
Unless a weak founda
Tion has made iT sway

A pole
That may someTimes protecTively wear
A poisonous
Tar coaTing To make insecTs beware

And cables
To carry The currenT we all need
To give our appliances such whirring speed

And provide
The power They conTinue To do
Unless a massive s
Torm snaps The wires in Two

Poems are made by me when I ge
T silly
Bu
T a power pole is made by a sawmilly
 
(Poem structure based on 'Trees' by Joyce Kilmer, 1913)


Poetry Link: The Next Poem in My Blog

2015-03-02

Inefficient Cocoa Times

So, I was heating up a cup of cocoa in the microwave oven, and it didn't spin around quite right for me to reach the handle of my cup when it finished. 

QUESTION: How lazy is it that I 
  • A) opened the door
  • B) shut it
  • C) added a few more seconds so that it will spin around to the right position?

Actually I did it "wrong" the first time. My microwave oven is so ObCoDi that it alternates the rotation direction of the food/drink each time and I had forgot about that, so I actually had to repeat the act of laziness twice in order for my cuppa-now-even-hotter-cocoa to reach the front side. This time, of course, I put in excess time so that I opened the door with extra time remaining.

My cocoa is reaLLy good. I use 1½ packets of cocoa mix, add a dash of coffee creamer and put in a lil' bit of milk. Mmm Mmm Moo-d. Oh, sorry, that was s'pposed to be 'Good' - That was reaLLy COW-ardly of me, hahahahaha

My Favorite Lawyer Responds: I'm not sure I would call that lazy. Seems like it took more effort to do it your way than to just turn the mug.

I respond: I was quite inefficient with my keystrokes by first selecting a Timed Heating with one keystroke then entering a number for the number of desired seconds of time then pressing Start, plus doing this sequence twice just to reposition the cup so that I wouldn't have to reach deep into the oven to get my object, when there is a much faster function of simply hitting 1,2,3,.... to have the oven run for that many integer minutes with one keystroke which is then interrupted by me opening the door. But of course I was looking forward to writing aLL of this in Blogger before I ever performed the second heating ....

2015-02-28

Homo ignorantes & Natural Gas Outage Outrage Without Gauge

"Homo sapiens", our genus and species designation means "wise man". I think all the senseless slaughter by religious zealots indicates there is a new species: "Homo ignorantes"

"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world." - Michael Crichton

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Last night I was watching the news on a local channel that had a contest for guessing the amount of total snowfall for Amarillo TX for the last several months. I believe it was like October through February, and they announced the "winner", the person who had guessed the closest amount to the official amount of snowfall. BUT... I thought to myself, hold it, today is the 27th, aren't there 28 days in this February? Isn't there one more day of February ...AND... this is reaLLy important, it's snowing right now and more is coming tomorrow when it is stiLL February?

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I think Rudy Giuliani has proven that people who are 70 should retire by 69 just before insanity kicks in. You shouldn't have a national debate that sounds like sleep deprived 5 year olds arguing or The Smothers Brothers "Mom liked you best" routine.

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I just found out they are soon turning the LHC at CERN back on with vast improvements. I think they must now rename the LHC to the Larger Hadron Collider.

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If you name a building 'Torch' and then it catches on fire, should you be surprised? The Arabic word for 'NO!!!!' is لا !!!!

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From Feb 19th: My wife paid our natural gas bill over the phone while talking to a gas company representative a couple days ago but the company applied it to the wrong account, our business downtown, and they turned off the gas to my house! I was even home at the time of the disconnection and no one bothered to knock on my door or called my phone. We found out about it informally from our friend at the gas company.

And I usually pay the gas company several months at a time (ahead) because they have an outrageous $1.50 extra charge for making a payment, which amounts to $18 a year if you make monthly payments. So I am usually several hundred dollars AHEAD at any random moment with the business account.

I am glad I wasn't in the middle of cooking lasagne when they turned it off.

Hah! What idiots. They actually physically removed the meter instead of just turning a valve and locking it out.

Its not like we were going to skip town suddenly, we have been paying a gas bill for 30 plus years.

BUT they were going to wait until next week to schedule getting our gas turned back on! After two furious phone calls my wife strongly indicated that it was entirely their fault and a supervisor finally & wisely agreed with her.

After about an hour we were back in gas.











2015-02-15

Watching Breaking Bad Randomly


I am using a random number generator in order to select random seasons and episodes to watch Breaking Bad in 4K from Netflix.

Netflix only has a choice of 13 items, movies and tv shows to watch, so it is not worth paying eXtra for at the moment.

Not much else is happening right now eXcept that my wife decided to add a floral shop to our business, which I think wiLL be veRy synergistic with what we already have going. I believe she has finaLLy fiLLed up our building.

Sometime in the near future I plan to get a Raspberry Pi 2 computer and play with it. For now I am studying it when I take a break from biochemistry, my first love.

2015-01-25

Tom, Bill and Some Unhappy Lady Without A Name

I eventually went to the diner yesterday in a stage of exhaustion and hunger. I woke up from my nap after only a half hour when I wanted at least an hour. 


Then my wife called while I was stiLL lying in bed and asked if I could come back to work to handle a minor rush print job, to cut some vinyl lettering. It took me a bit before the bottom of my feet wanted to handle any pressure then after I sat down my knees didn't want me vertical. I woke up in eXtreme hunger like I had not eXperienced in ... No I couldn't remember ever being hungry to the point of wanting to cry. Bizarre. That thought at that moment 180'd my brain and I cracked up laughing. This probably confused Cooper. After a cup of coffee I finally made it out of the house. There was also a piece of toast followed by peanut butter on crackers.

But by the time I made it downtown the shirt order had vanished.

The customer had came back to our store after ordering the special printing and started complaining about the price and wanted us to do the work cheaper. My wife was busy with hair cutting clients and gave the money back. The customer implied that we were trying to steal from her! It was so unreal that it flabbergasted our employee to tears. The guy from the cable company witnessed the episode and said that was really strange, some customers are just so unreasonable, like they expect something for nothing.

So I decided to do a couple more shirts on my large embroidery order before going to the diner.

I was hoping that my favorite waitress Kandi was going to be back after taking several weeks off for the holiday season. So I was grateful to see her smiling face as she asked me if I needed my French fries and gave me a hug. There were several people that evening who told her that they were glad she was back.

I hurt enough that I needed a booth instead of sitting at the bar where I can watch teleBision and chat. Just as I sat down in walked Bill. He sat down at the booth across the aisle. He got Kandi to s'pposedly straighten out his seat before sitting down but I didn't see it move. Bill was unusually quiet.

Here is the Bill story.

Bill is a World War II Marine service vet who is most likely senile. He comes to the diner sometimes up to four times in a day and orders either a cup of coffee or coffee and a sandwich. The sandwich is always fried ham with mayonnaise on whole wheat which is cut in half and he always gets a to-go box because he eats just one half.

The owner of the diner finally found out what happens to the other half of the sandwiches after a policeman was in the diner playing pool in the back room and happened to see Bill. So he told the diner owner these details.

It seems that Bill was saving up the half sandwiches in their Styrofoam containers until they were good and moldy then he would take a bunch of them down to the police station to "donate" them to the fine men and women in blue.

It doesn't take the police department too long to ask him not to bring any more leftover sandwiches.

So then Bill decides to start visiting the police department to chat. After a few visits he is asked to not come back as they have work to do. I think, "This isn't Mayberry North Carolina, there is no Andy Taylor and Barney Fife". I have heard several of Bill's conversations at the diner and they are typically filled with improper and unpleasant words maybe half the time. The other half he is usually stone cold silent.

So if Bill can't donate sandwiches or chat at the police department he decides the next best thing to do is tail a police officer in his car. So Bill proceeds to follow a particular officer all over town. Finally the officer decides he has had enough of this behavior and pulls over to investigate. Sure enough Bill pulls in behind him.

The officer recognizes Bill and asked him what he is doing and after Bill's explanation he asked Bill to stop following him.

Bill responds angrily, "Well, you fat [four letter F word], you should join the Marines and get in shape!" - and then Bill hits the accelerator and zooms away sending gravel flying as the officer stands there probably relieved that that ended well.

So back to me eating my supper. I am starving so I order my veRy rarely ordered huge meal of shrimp, potato, toast and salad. I ask for a single slice of onion to have with my salad. I dice it up at the table with a steak knife.

But they don't send out a single slice, but half of a huge white onion. So I cut up just a slice and put it on my salad that is in a bowl that is too smaLL, so mixing the onion and then also crackers with Ranch dressing is a delicate, slow yet doable act.

So right in the middle of my eXpensive eXtensive multi-course meal with both cool and hot items that I don't wish to eat back at room temperature, there comes this strange voice saying, "Hey, Ernie" from a couple tables away behind me.

I recognize that it is the quirky voice of a bizarre person named Tom, a friend of Kandi. "Friend" may be the wrong word and "stalker" may be closer. But I am in the middle of my meal and I don't want a Tom interruption so I pretend I don't hear him and it works, he only says the Hey Ernie once and stays in his own seat.

I am almost finished and want to go home but then my wife calls and has me bring her something from the diner. So I am forced to sit there for a little while longer and aLL I want is sleep. I had forgot about Tom. The gigantic meal didn't even fiLL me up but I was at least ready for some back pain to go away. Besides, Cooper would soon need his evening cheese.

Just as I stood up to leave, Tom once again hollers at me, so I go over to see what he wants. He has a question for me. He asks me if I feel like wrestling some cattle, which I immediately transform into the correct word idea of rustling cattle, stealing them. Which is a veRy bizarre question to ask somebody, especiaLLy in public. EspeciaLLy someone you just barely know. I pretend I didn't understand him, because I reaLLy want him to say it again only louder and with more "clarity". So he says it again, yes, this guy is telling me this with a straight face, no sign of humor. I respond wearily, No, I don't want to rustle any cattle. And with a serious questioning face Tom asks, "Why not?"

I am thinking, I eat buffalo instead of beef, why would I want to steal some cattle? Besides, I am a city boy, at the moment, weLL, the last 51 years at least.

How do you respond to such nonsense? I just teLL him I am eXhausted and need to take my wife her supper before it gets too cold.

I am hoping that Tom and Bill don't show up in my dreams,  OR any cattle .... or angry shirt customers.

Its probably a good thing he didn't ask me if I wanted to steal a buffalo, in my weakened condition I might have said yes.

New Blog for My Abstract Art ... Come Visit

Click HERE for the Art of Ernest S B Boston

These are pieces that I have generated mainly using computer art tools. Enjoy !

Something New:

I am also in the process of linking my poetry blog entries together. This project is only partially finished. A "Poetry LINK" at the bottom of the blog entry points to the next older piece of poetry.


First poem in the series of linked poems ....

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Blog Archive

My Art

These are some of my abstract art pieces. They are available as prints, send me a note if you are interested.

Couch Glow

Couch Glow

Gold As Smoke

Gold As Smoke

Flowing Wood

Flowing Wood