Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2015-05-15

We Should Rename It Tennes-Three

After I got home from the groc store late at night about 11 PM I sat down on the couch after putting everything away. Then Cooper complained to me, and I suddenly remembered that I had forgot to get his dog biscuits at the store, after I had told him early in the day I would get him some. Luckily there was a box of tiny dog biscuits for Trixie still at our house, so I gave him three of those.


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I have 36 windows open in my Safari web browser. Perhaps I should close a few.

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I learned something new. The state of Tennessee is legally split into three sections: East, Middle and West. They are called Grand Divisions. They are represented by the three stars in the state flag.

When I checked the state quarter for Tennessee they emphasized the distinct music styles of the Grand Divisions and put three musical instruments and three stars. BUT I noticed that the star in the middle position is significantly smaller than the other two.
(I'm sorry, the blogger iPad app didn't pull in this photo of the Tennesse quarter so I will have to do it layer when I get to the office on my PC)

It may be difficult to see the difference in this photo on Facebook, but I used a caliper type device to detect the difference in the original photo.

I put a Tennessee quarter in my flat bed scanner and then used CorelDRAW to measure the longest dimension of the two stars in question. The smaller star is approximately 89% (+/- 1%) as wide as the larger star.

I think they should rename the state Tennes-three.

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Today's Math Lesson: There are 364 holes in my laundry hamper, almost one for each day of the year. So I can look at my empty hamper and imagine a hole-y year. If you include the mouth of the hamper that would be 365.

My friend from Delaware asked me if I counted them all. I told her it was easy because there were 4 sections of 9x10 then the 4 holes for handles.

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RIACH-Herd has a new look: Sunglasses
(RIACH: Reindeer In A Cup Holder)


He has a secret stash of BBQ sauce packets in his bag just for me.

It is hard to see from the camera angle, but he has a beautiful smile.

2015-05-10

Spring Brings Fling

In 'Lost & Found' on Facebook someone presented a photograph of a pair of shoes, that had been tied together, and then thrown up into a tree. So I wrote this poem about them.


Spring Brings Fling

Spring will bring out a juvenile thought
To fling a thing like two shoes aloft,
Something normally found upon the ground
Is now in branches bound and uneasily downed.
But now the birds can groom it best
As a robin builds a fancy two room nest.
She just must remember not to untie the knot
Or her young could fall and die for naught.

2015-05-03

After A While A Crocodile Will Smile

After A While A Crocodile Will Smile

A croc's skill is to kill
A croc's thrill is to fill
A croc's tummy
With soMEthing yummy.
Oh no, he has his sights on ME!
It is my skill to avoid and flee
And leave a void in his digestive tract
For if I fail to flee it will be my final act.

I thought that a Kiswahili version would be useful

Ujuzi mamba ni kuua
msisimko mamba ni kujaza
mamba ya tumbo 
Na kitu ladha. 
Msaada! Ana me ajili vile lengo!
Ni ujuzi wangu ili kuepuka na kukimbia
Na kuondoka utupu katika matumbo yake
Kwa maana kama mimi kushindwa kukimbia itakuwa kitendo yangu ya mwisho.

2015-04-20

Poles

Poles


I Think That I shall never see
A pole lovely as a Tree

A pole wiTh a horizonTal 2 by 4 aT iTs cresT
Upon iT insulaTors where wires can resT

A pole thaT poinTs direcTly up a
T God all day
Unless a weak founda
Tion has made iT sway

A pole
That may someTimes protecTively wear
A poisonous
Tar coaTing To make insecTs beware

And cables
To carry The currenT we all need
To give our appliances such whirring speed

And provide
The power They conTinue To do
Unless a massive s
Torm snaps The wires in Two

Poems are made by me when I ge
T silly
Bu
T a power pole is made by a sawmilly
 
(Poem structure based on 'Trees' by Joyce Kilmer, 1913)


Poetry Link: The Next Poem in My Blog

2015-03-02

Inefficient Cocoa Times

So, I was heating up a cup of cocoa in the microwave oven, and it didn't spin around quite right for me to reach the handle of my cup when it finished. 

QUESTION: How lazy is it that I 
  • A) opened the door
  • B) shut it
  • C) added a few more seconds so that it will spin around to the right position?

Actually I did it "wrong" the first time. My microwave oven is so ObCoDi that it alternates the rotation direction of the food/drink each time and I had forgot about that, so I actually had to repeat the act of laziness twice in order for my cuppa-now-even-hotter-cocoa to reach the front side. This time, of course, I put in excess time so that I opened the door with extra time remaining.

My cocoa is reaLLy good. I use 1½ packets of cocoa mix, add a dash of coffee creamer and put in a lil' bit of milk. Mmm Mmm Moo-d. Oh, sorry, that was s'pposed to be 'Good' - That was reaLLy COW-ardly of me, hahahahaha

My Favorite Lawyer Responds: I'm not sure I would call that lazy. Seems like it took more effort to do it your way than to just turn the mug.

I respond: I was quite inefficient with my keystrokes by first selecting a Timed Heating with one keystroke then entering a number for the number of desired seconds of time then pressing Start, plus doing this sequence twice just to reposition the cup so that I wouldn't have to reach deep into the oven to get my object, when there is a much faster function of simply hitting 1,2,3,.... to have the oven run for that many integer minutes with one keystroke which is then interrupted by me opening the door. But of course I was looking forward to writing aLL of this in Blogger before I ever performed the second heating ....

2015-02-28

Homo ignorantes & Natural Gas Outage Outrage Without Gauge

"Homo sapiens", our genus and species designation means "wise man". I think all the senseless slaughter by religious zealots indicates there is a new species: "Homo ignorantes"

"I am certain there is too much certainty in the world." - Michael Crichton

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Last night I was watching the news on a local channel that had a contest for guessing the amount of total snowfall for Amarillo TX for the last several months. I believe it was like October through February, and they announced the "winner", the person who had guessed the closest amount to the official amount of snowfall. BUT... I thought to myself, hold it, today is the 27th, aren't there 28 days in this February? Isn't there one more day of February ...AND... this is reaLLy important, it's snowing right now and more is coming tomorrow when it is stiLL February?

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I think Rudy Giuliani has proven that people who are 70 should retire by 69 just before insanity kicks in. You shouldn't have a national debate that sounds like sleep deprived 5 year olds arguing or The Smothers Brothers "Mom liked you best" routine.

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I just found out they are soon turning the LHC at CERN back on with vast improvements. I think they must now rename the LHC to the Larger Hadron Collider.

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If you name a building 'Torch' and then it catches on fire, should you be surprised? The Arabic word for 'NO!!!!' is لا !!!!

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From Feb 19th: My wife paid our natural gas bill over the phone while talking to a gas company representative a couple days ago but the company applied it to the wrong account, our business downtown, and they turned off the gas to my house! I was even home at the time of the disconnection and no one bothered to knock on my door or called my phone. We found out about it informally from our friend at the gas company.

And I usually pay the gas company several months at a time (ahead) because they have an outrageous $1.50 extra charge for making a payment, which amounts to $18 a year if you make monthly payments. So I am usually several hundred dollars AHEAD at any random moment with the business account.

I am glad I wasn't in the middle of cooking lasagne when they turned it off.

Hah! What idiots. They actually physically removed the meter instead of just turning a valve and locking it out.

Its not like we were going to skip town suddenly, we have been paying a gas bill for 30 plus years.

BUT they were going to wait until next week to schedule getting our gas turned back on! After two furious phone calls my wife strongly indicated that it was entirely their fault and a supervisor finally & wisely agreed with her.

After about an hour we were back in gas.











2015-02-15

Watching Breaking Bad Randomly


I am using a random number generator in order to select random seasons and episodes to watch Breaking Bad in 4K from Netflix.

Netflix only has a choice of 13 items, movies and tv shows to watch, so it is not worth paying eXtra for at the moment.

Not much else is happening right now eXcept that my wife decided to add a floral shop to our business, which I think wiLL be veRy synergistic with what we already have going. I believe she has finaLLy fiLLed up our building.

Sometime in the near future I plan to get a Raspberry Pi 2 computer and play with it. For now I am studying it when I take a break from biochemistry, my first love.

2015-01-25

Tom, Bill and Some Unhappy Lady Without A Name

I eventually went to the diner yesterday in a stage of exhaustion and hunger. I woke up from my nap after only a half hour when I wanted at least an hour. 


Then my wife called while I was stiLL lying in bed and asked if I could come back to work to handle a minor rush print job, to cut some vinyl lettering. It took me a bit before the bottom of my feet wanted to handle any pressure then after I sat down my knees didn't want me vertical. I woke up in eXtreme hunger like I had not eXperienced in ... No I couldn't remember ever being hungry to the point of wanting to cry. Bizarre. That thought at that moment 180'd my brain and I cracked up laughing. This probably confused Cooper. After a cup of coffee I finally made it out of the house. There was also a piece of toast followed by peanut butter on crackers.

But by the time I made it downtown the shirt order had vanished.

The customer had came back to our store after ordering the special printing and started complaining about the price and wanted us to do the work cheaper. My wife was busy with hair cutting clients and gave the money back. The customer implied that we were trying to steal from her! It was so unreal that it flabbergasted our employee to tears. The guy from the cable company witnessed the episode and said that was really strange, some customers are just so unreasonable, like they expect something for nothing.

So I decided to do a couple more shirts on my large embroidery order before going to the diner.

I was hoping that my favorite waitress Kandi was going to be back after taking several weeks off for the holiday season. So I was grateful to see her smiling face as she asked me if I needed my French fries and gave me a hug. There were several people that evening who told her that they were glad she was back.

I hurt enough that I needed a booth instead of sitting at the bar where I can watch teleBision and chat. Just as I sat down in walked Bill. He sat down at the booth across the aisle. He got Kandi to s'pposedly straighten out his seat before sitting down but I didn't see it move. Bill was unusually quiet.

Here is the Bill story.

Bill is a World War II Marine service vet who is most likely senile. He comes to the diner sometimes up to four times in a day and orders either a cup of coffee or coffee and a sandwich. The sandwich is always fried ham with mayonnaise on whole wheat which is cut in half and he always gets a to-go box because he eats just one half.

The owner of the diner finally found out what happens to the other half of the sandwiches after a policeman was in the diner playing pool in the back room and happened to see Bill. So he told the diner owner these details.

It seems that Bill was saving up the half sandwiches in their Styrofoam containers until they were good and moldy then he would take a bunch of them down to the police station to "donate" them to the fine men and women in blue.

It doesn't take the police department too long to ask him not to bring any more leftover sandwiches.

So then Bill decides to start visiting the police department to chat. After a few visits he is asked to not come back as they have work to do. I think, "This isn't Mayberry North Carolina, there is no Andy Taylor and Barney Fife". I have heard several of Bill's conversations at the diner and they are typically filled with improper and unpleasant words maybe half the time. The other half he is usually stone cold silent.

So if Bill can't donate sandwiches or chat at the police department he decides the next best thing to do is tail a police officer in his car. So Bill proceeds to follow a particular officer all over town. Finally the officer decides he has had enough of this behavior and pulls over to investigate. Sure enough Bill pulls in behind him.

The officer recognizes Bill and asked him what he is doing and after Bill's explanation he asked Bill to stop following him.

Bill responds angrily, "Well, you fat [four letter F word], you should join the Marines and get in shape!" - and then Bill hits the accelerator and zooms away sending gravel flying as the officer stands there probably relieved that that ended well.

So back to me eating my supper. I am starving so I order my veRy rarely ordered huge meal of shrimp, potato, toast and salad. I ask for a single slice of onion to have with my salad. I dice it up at the table with a steak knife.

But they don't send out a single slice, but half of a huge white onion. So I cut up just a slice and put it on my salad that is in a bowl that is too smaLL, so mixing the onion and then also crackers with Ranch dressing is a delicate, slow yet doable act.

So right in the middle of my eXpensive eXtensive multi-course meal with both cool and hot items that I don't wish to eat back at room temperature, there comes this strange voice saying, "Hey, Ernie" from a couple tables away behind me.

I recognize that it is the quirky voice of a bizarre person named Tom, a friend of Kandi. "Friend" may be the wrong word and "stalker" may be closer. But I am in the middle of my meal and I don't want a Tom interruption so I pretend I don't hear him and it works, he only says the Hey Ernie once and stays in his own seat.

I am almost finished and want to go home but then my wife calls and has me bring her something from the diner. So I am forced to sit there for a little while longer and aLL I want is sleep. I had forgot about Tom. The gigantic meal didn't even fiLL me up but I was at least ready for some back pain to go away. Besides, Cooper would soon need his evening cheese.

Just as I stood up to leave, Tom once again hollers at me, so I go over to see what he wants. He has a question for me. He asks me if I feel like wrestling some cattle, which I immediately transform into the correct word idea of rustling cattle, stealing them. Which is a veRy bizarre question to ask somebody, especiaLLy in public. EspeciaLLy someone you just barely know. I pretend I didn't understand him, because I reaLLy want him to say it again only louder and with more "clarity". So he says it again, yes, this guy is telling me this with a straight face, no sign of humor. I respond wearily, No, I don't want to rustle any cattle. And with a serious questioning face Tom asks, "Why not?"

I am thinking, I eat buffalo instead of beef, why would I want to steal some cattle? Besides, I am a city boy, at the moment, weLL, the last 51 years at least.

How do you respond to such nonsense? I just teLL him I am eXhausted and need to take my wife her supper before it gets too cold.

I am hoping that Tom and Bill don't show up in my dreams,  OR any cattle .... or angry shirt customers.

Its probably a good thing he didn't ask me if I wanted to steal a buffalo, in my weakened condition I might have said yes.

Me As Trees

A friend of mine posted a way of recycling your ashes so that your mineral remains get incorporated into a newly planted tree. So that gave me an idea for transforming one of my favorite poems, Trees by Joyce Kilmer. I had never thought about eventuaLLy becoming part of a tree, I am just planning on slowly becoming a rock in western South Dakota.


Me As Trees
by Ernest S B Boston

I think that I would like to be
An integral part of a tree

A tree that has grown up from the ground
Where my ashes could be found

So after a life of trouble and toil
The mineral me had become some soil

A bird could build her nest on me
And raise a family tiny and wee

When people ask how, you could show 'em
That parts of me are woody phloem!

So even if you are not really into this
I'll still be carrying on photosynthesis

As my magnesium atoms are a part of solar collection
I'm enjoying making an energetic connection

If you miss me and feel I need a hug
Just give my bark a great big tug

I guess perhaps the best eternal rest
Is being part of an evergreen for-ever-est


Poetry Link: The Next Poem in My Blog

2015-01-10

Threads, Needles, Time Machines and My Tiny Buffalo

I had a dream where I was having a telephone conversation with my older sister, who lives 888 miles away in real life. She kept insisting loudly that she needs to come spend two weeks with me in order to get to know me better. I am veRy much against this idea and I am teLLing her veRy loudly. I don't want her to know me, I keep saying. 

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A friend asked me if I had anything to stop the wind. I replied: 

Me, arms outstretched I slow it a little.

A billion of me flapping our arms in a concerted manner might even reverse the wind direction. 

Each one of the me's has 'two' hands and arms. 

Each one of me represents a billionth, which has a math science expression of 'nano'. 

So this wind that the billion me's create would be called a: 
two-nano-me

Not to be confused with a tsunami

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Here is something bizarre about Amazon.com
I order some toe socks to wear with my Vibrams. I have never had problems in the past. This is probably my fourth time to order socks.
This order arrives one day late, possibly because it passed through the post office instead of UPS.
The socks arrive dirty! They appear to be new unworn socks, yet soiled.
I get an e-mail from Amazon asking about packaging for this exact order less than a day after it arrives.
I fill out their online survey about my problem. BUT ... at the end of the process I am informed that I don't have any recent orders that qualify for my information to be applicable. 
Big question mark in my brain.

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I am suspicious that the Post Office has a time machine. I got a notice from a thread supplier that my order was being shipped 3 hours ago, BUT the tracking information from the Post Office says that a shipping label WAS (past tense) created in Colorado at 3:23 PM Mountain Time, which is almost 4 hours from now in the FUTURE. This must have something to do with the String Theory in physics. If so, practicaLLy aLL my string for this order is a shade of pink.

To add to the time confusion part of the order is back-ordered.

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In FaceBook I posted this without eXplaining it was my dumb joke of the day:

Someone made a terrible mistake. I bought some hay to feed my buffalo and it was 85% needles.

A relative from Idaho asked if I really had a buffalo. 

I eXplained to her that it was just a "needle in a haystack joke", and no, my buffalo comes 1 pound at a time vacuum sealed from North Dakota.

2014-12-31

So, Then What Day of the Week for Santa Claus?

I looked at my finger the other day and I thought, "How did I BURN my finger?!?!?" 

I looked at the 'burn' veRy carefuLLy and pondered its eXistence. Then I scraped it just a little around the edge and realized that it was not a burn ... It was a thin layer of dried cheese from where I had hand washed the inside of the cup that had held my spaghetti or chili.

I had been walking around in public with dried cheese on my finger.

Très Embarrassant

I thought, "What an interesting puzzle this would be for CSI folks trying to collect fingerprints."


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PracticaLLy aLL my favorite (i.e. only) fictional teleBisions shows start in Jan & Feb.

A commercial comes on for The Americans.

Me: "Yea, I now have a reason to go on living."

Wife: "WHAT ?!?!?"


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I saw that drones as a Christmas present are veRy popular this year.


I am probably the last person who needs a drone. 'Cause then I would have to buy a second one to have a hot spare, and then a third one to do mid-air refueling, and a fourth for ...


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My son walked into the bedroom carrying a piece of mail, saying, "I bet this is a Christmas Card, because it is addressed to:
Ernest, Tamie & Cooper Boston" 

I laughed and said, "I bet I know who it is from" I was right, one of my cousins from Nebraska, the younger one.


I told Cooper, "You got a Christmas Card!" (And a nice long wonderful letter) He wagged his tail and smiled.

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On teleBision at the diner: 


Thursday Night Football: Saturday Edition

Yes, tHat makEs perFect senSe ...

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I was looking for an interesting math problem, so I decided to calculate what day of the week Jesus was born. 


It was a Monday.


I was hoping for a "Son"-day.

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December 19th was a bad day. I needed to be in Texas, Oklahoma and South Dakota aLL at the same time.


I chose to stay put in Texas.


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Please eXcuse my temporary font mess. The blogger app and the Notepad in iPad are now doing goofy things when they try to work two-gether.

New Blog for My Abstract Art ... Come Visit

Click HERE for the Art of Ernest S B Boston

These are pieces that I have generated mainly using computer art tools. Enjoy !

Something New:

I am also in the process of linking my poetry blog entries together. This project is only partially finished. A "Poetry LINK" at the bottom of the blog entry points to the next older piece of poetry.


First poem in the series of linked poems ....

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Blog Archive

My Art

These are some of my abstract art pieces. They are available as prints, send me a note if you are interested.

Couch Glow

Couch Glow

Gold As Smoke

Gold As Smoke

Flowing Wood

Flowing Wood