My Long Lost Bubbly Girl

Saturday March 17th

I met someone at the bookstore over a year ago, an employee who had a wonderful smile and something different about the way she talked. I noticed that she had a very bubbly personality and that she had a bit of a laugh, a tiny laugh, with almost every sentence, usually right at the end.

We chatted several times, but then we got disconnected. For several months she was never at the bookstore at the same time that I was shopping. I just knew her first name, and the other employees told me she still worked there, and so I just left an informal "well, tell her hi for me" message. I eventually stopped asking.

I would drive by the bookstore several times but usually at the wrong time of day because I typically grocery shop very late, or I had frozen food and had to get home.

So I was slightly saddened that this friendship had appeared to have disappeared, lost over time. She seemed to be a good match for a friendship. Hmmm, bummer. I thought, well, that happens sometimes. Move on.

My son and I were going out of town for several hours together, but first we were going to have breakfast with his wife. So the three of us were traveling to particular restaurant "A", when suddenly my son the driver switched lanes and pulled into a local diner "B", where I rarely go. He said, "I am making an executive decision, we are going to eat here instead"

I was okay with the decision, knowing that their food was usually pretty good, but I rarely eat breakfast at restaurants in my own town, and I didn't like diner "B"'s French Fries. My son's wife said, "He has been getting better at making executive decisions lately."

So we are seated by the restaurant greeter, but someone else was going to be our waitress.

Suddenly in my peripheral vision is my Bubbly Girl from the bookstore, and she is going to be our waitress and I say, "Its you!" and she cracks up laughing and points at me, and we have a wonderful reunion moment, comparing notes of our disconnection.

She had almost left town to move far away, but had switched jobs and several other positive things were going on in her life, so I am very happy for her. I have lost too many friendships in the last few years for usually unknown or bizarre reasons, and it was nice that this one did not. Now I'll just have to see if diner "B" can make a grilled chicken sandwich!

A Silly Onion

Here is a silly comment that I tormented my friend Friko with this morning:


I once had an uncanny can of onions that weighed only an ounce.

No way, you say. Yes way, I say.

For it originally weighed four but three were eaten by me.

So me plus three equals one onion ounce uneaten by me.

I could go on and on but that might put you off.

Did I mention that my onion I own has ions?

Yes, its true! If you split the miniscule onion molecule in two, its on & ion too!

Okay, I'm finally through.

Onion, I know, I know! (<- if you look reaLLy close you'LL see its a virtual palindrome)


But I then I found someone else to bother when Lee had a blog post about comments, so I left him this comment:

I think the blog posts that generate the most comments are the ones that have comments as their primary topic. They may not be good comments, such as this comment itself I would classify as slightly below average, even though it has eXactly the average number of words found in a comment of a blog, yet it has a slightly greater than average number of total letters. And most blog comments are filled with questionable content such as this one that claims to have accurate information about comment statistics, hah! And don't get me started about which comments generate even more comments!

By Remote Control

(This is a continuation of the news story about the prosecution and conviction of the local drug lord. See my first story at: Two-Day's Short Thoughts, Some Scary )

Friday was a busy day. A wet day, but highly localized moisture inside our building as the hot water heater malfunctioned but we caught it just in time. Drip, drip, drip.

As I was getting a few parts in one of many trips to several stores, including other liquid supplies such as coffee, I noticed a teleBision news cameraman on the sidewalk on our property. He was obviously more interested in something besides my faulty leaky hot water heater, as he had his camera pointing at the carpet & flooring store across the street. The store is owned by the recently convicted drug lord of the city. Well, I should say, was owned. The cameraman told me that in a few minutes at 12:30 PM the ownership of the building was changing and he was there to interview the new owners. I had not heard that particular news just yet about their building being sold. I knew that the drug lord got about 100 months in prison and lost a lot of property, money and several very eXpensive vehicles, a Maserati and a Bentley were just a few of the many.

So several minutes later I was wandering back down the sidewalk for a few more repair parts, as the hardware store is on the same block as our building, same side of the street. The cameraman is still there and I chat with him again. He told me that the people at the carpet store were NOT happy that he was filming their store. He told me that someone at the carpet store had flipped his camera off.

So my little humorous brain heard the words "flipped off" and mixed in the long distance of "across the street", and with a straight face I asked the cameraman in a confused naive Steven Wright voice, "WOW!, that's incredible that they were able to turn your camera off by remote control all the way from across the street".

The confused cameraman looked at me for just a split second, and said, "No, they didn't turn my camera off, they gave me the ..." and he continued on showing me the hand-finger gesture and then I smiled slightly and I told him that I reaLLy knew what he meant the first time, and then he saw my play on the words "flipped off" and cracked up laughing. He told me it was pretty funny. I agreed. I gave him my blog address, and told him that I write all kinds of siLLy things, with special emphasis on my stories about my alter ego of a mentally challenged space alien trapped on earth.

We eventually got our hot water heater replaced, functionally flowing, but I haven't met the new neighbors yet. Luckily we got our flooring job finished for the pedicure room at our business just a few weeks ago, so come on by and get your toes prettied up & painted, especially if you are going on a trip, business, family vacation or maybe headed down south to federal prison.

Don't worry, I don't do nails. I leave that to trained certified professionals.

The Masterd And The Pupild

I started working with two Japanese language apps on my iPad recently. The newer one focuses on phrases. I checked my status, and it gave these eXact spellings:


  You haven't any masterd phrases this week.

  You haven't any masterd phrases today.

  You haven't any masterd phrases.

  You haven't any familiar phrases.

  Total Learning Time:
  0 Hours 26 Minutes


Actually, I have spent far more time than that working with the app, passing some tests, but the app crashes every once in awhile and I think it completely forgets any work in lost sessions. It actually crashes at a higher frequency than the Safari web browser, which I think crashes at least 6 times a day with fairly constant use.

At least I had already mastered the correct spelling of mastered before starting this app.

DOG BONUS: I like other people's dogs almost as much as my own. Here is some reaLLy cool photography of Maddie The Coonhound, some very amazing shots of a quite talented dog & physics.

Bill of Tire-d Sales at the Fork in the Road

I pull up to a stop at the intersection of Bell and 45th. The name of the business across the intersection at 10 o'clock has the big bold name of most likely the business owner of a tire place. The name is Bill Williams.

I think, "Bill? Isn't that short for William?"

My neXt think is the combo "William Williams", who would want to be called that? Who would name their child that?

Then I smile aNd add a middle name, "William William Williams", I wonder if anyone has that name?

My neXt think is the artificial in my head at this moment conversation:

Questioner: "What is your name?"

WiWiWi: "Well, my last name is Williams, and my first and middle are William's, too"

Questioner: "What?!?!? You have two names and they both Williams?"

WiWiWi: "No, it's William William Williams"


The light turns green and I drive east.

My neXt think is a prompted because of the previous duplicate triplicate WiWiWi names causes a Sirhan B Sirhan to pop into my brain, and I have a fleeting RFK-sadness nostalgic moment to my age very young, a remembrance of death. The clouds that appeared wanting to rain all day around me finally let loose their drops after going a few blocks.

I slowly become unsad, focusing on driving in heavier traffic than before, plus the sky's tears lightly, while my windshield wiper gently wipes.

One and a half miles later I see a restaurant sign declaring itself the Mexican Food Embassey underneath its name. Its name in huge letters, the embassey claim in smaller. It is the most luxurious Mexican food restaurant in town, grandfatherly, not the newest, but possibly the grandest, my opinion. I wonder how you become qualified to call yourself an Embassey of something? What roles would you perform as the Mexican Food Ambassador? Would that include settling tequila trade disputes? Then I realize I have been spelling embassy wrong. Then I am minorly mystified why ambassador is an A word and embassy is an E word.

I drive slower than normal in the rush hour traffic and a white, (car is it?), gets behind me very close, too close, no wait, is that a hearse behind me?, a dead person tailgating maybe right behind me possibly in this traffic?

I go around a broad circular shaped section of the street after a semi-nervous minute, only to discover by the mirror with a now better angle view that it is just a pickup truck with a very strange camper top. So probably no dead people have been with me in traffic at the moment, well, hopefully no dead people with me on the go.

The sky clears a mile later and I eventually find the place to guide my wife towards in her vehicle, overcoming terrible cell phone and internet service provider sporadic outages.

Things I Expect To Find In The Parking Lot of a Transmission Repair Shop:
A) Icky exotically colored pools and streaks of most likely poisonous fluids from vehicles
B) Circular ring shaped metal discards from shattered transmissions
C) Absolutely no vegetation in the dirt parking lot due to constant traffic and chemicals

Thing I Didn't Expect To Find In The Parking Lot of a Transmission Repair Shop:
A) A metal kitchen fork

I wondered if the fork would still be there when I returned in the future to get our repaired vehicle.

Answer: Yes, the fork was still in the same spot about a week later, and No, I didn't take a picture of it.

Knowing me, you are probably wondering why I didn't take a picture of the fork on either occasion.

Answer: I knew that when I would eventually write up these events that you would have eXpected me to take that picture, but then I decided to surprise you by not taking it. I know, it was a very difficult process to not take the picture, or save the fork, but I managed to do it. It was eXtremely difficult, especially the part about not saving The Lost Fork.

Two Mules for Sister Siri

I have something irritating me concerning a business situation. My wife and I are talking about it before and during the transport. She is my cargo at the moment. While I am taking my wife to work on my mule while her mountain goat is at the vet having an operation, I tell my wife that I am going to the bar (its also a grill) to drown my sorrows in a grilled chicken sandwich, and I leave out the Dr Pepper beverage part on purpose, and of course I never drink alcohol at that time of day, and never at this bar, at least in the last decade or so. I paint that picture for eXactness that there reaLLy is only a sandwich involved plus the unspoken Dr Pepper, implied.

The wife cracks up laughing at the concept of drowning my sorrows in chicken, grilled.

I smile, I wrote that one well, at least above average if she laughed. I just didn't eXpect a good laugh from her.

Sorrow sad sopping wet chicken. Wet with cooking juiced greases. Served with some mayo. Completed sauce from a tomato based BBQ flavor, Mmmmmm.

No fries, I am cutting out those calories.

I wind up having an eXtemely long lunchtime because I didn't see my HVAC mentor, at first. He saw my mule in the parking lot but didn't see me making a phone call before entering, because my mule is so huge. So he sat in a deeper part of the diner with his back to the front door, plus a minor partition obscuring things slightly. And of course I looked for his mule when I first arrived, as always, while still on my mule but before I made my phone call, so his mule was not there to be seen. His mule is almost eXactly the same as mine eXcept his is white and I feed mine oats and his gets grass. My mule is mainly maroon with bigger hooves.

So when I entered the dire den of brazed BBQ bird on a bun, I sat near the front by the owner and consumed the calories, not realizing my mentor, a giant among humans, was just a few feet away.

Another friend female from my previous place of work arrived and said hello, patting my back, and so I joined her table while she waited on her daughter to arrive. That is when I discovered the hidden huge him of HVAC. So we were both perplexed at how we missed seeing each other, but then spent the neXt full hour talking half nonsense. We did have a good time. Half nonsense plus technical wizardry and physics is our domain. I showed him my new iPad app for learning the Japanese language. He thought it was cool. He wrote his own joke in Japanese!

I spent most of the rest of the day buying the wife the promised Apple. And I discovered that a long lost friend misplaced from My MySpace days was going to be my Apple vendor for the day! Hoo-ray for finding lost friends, and then an eXtra "Hoo-ray!" for getting to help them make money!

Money! Friends! Apples! Chicken! Bacon!

Even having too much wind with flying soil wasn't going to spoil this day.

Money! Friends! Apples! Chicken! Bacon!

So here is my dumb joke of the yesterday of yesterday:

I am sitting at the Verizon store after lunch starting the process of getting an Apple iPhone 4S. I am in luck because the freight has just arrived, and there are three, and I just need one for The Wifey.

The thing I am looking forward to on this particular model is the Siri feature. Siri is an artificial intelligence software program that you interact with verbally. And Siri has a soft feminine voice. You speak questions to Siri, and the voice recognition software converts your request into Google requests, and other web searches, to find things like restaurants and businesses. Or more important things like, "how far is it between the earth and the moon?"

So ... Here, FINALLY is my dumb joke, an Apple joke. What do you call Siri when she gets schizophrenic with multiple personalities, each giving different answers? Siri-us

Update: Good News! It appears The Vet has fixed my wife's mountain goat. It is not a mule. It is black with tiny but very able hooves. The fix was only $500 and so far I highly recommend this new vet. The name of his business is Turbo Exchange and he is on Farmer Avenue just east of Washington. Just ask for Buddy.

I'm Just That "Kind" of Son

Time: Fifteen Minutes Before Midnight

Place: My Couch


The teleBision set is turned down while focusing on my iPad game, when I hear an advertisement for a well known music superstar that is going to be playing in the neighboring state soon, near where my mother lives.

Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr., or you probably know him as Snoop Dogg, is going to be performing at an Indian casino in Oklahoma.

I suddenly get an idea and crack up laughing.

My Wonderful Idea: I am such a good son, so I must immediately tell my mommy that a music superstar is going to be in town (well, close by, I think its just a few miles from her, wouldn't want to miss it, who needs sleep?)

Wikipedia confirms that its very close to my mother.

I call mommy. No answer.

I try a different number just to be sure, nope, I was right the first time.

Suddenly my iPad lights up with an incoming phone call from her.

She gives me a drowsy initial question, "Is anything wrong?", and I respond with an eXcited rapid fire voice announcing the soon arrival of the one, and hopefully ever only, Snoop Dogg playing nearby. I try reaLLy hard not to laugh, and she starts to try to give a reply of "what are you talking about?", while I start to interrupt with a briefer Snoop Dogg eXplanation, when suddenly she catches on and cracks up laughing followed by my equal vocal eruption.

She tells me the story that my step-father liked to tease her about Willie Nelson. When he would see the giant billboard on the interstate highway announcing the arrival of Willie playing at the same casino, my step-father would always tell her, "Your boyfriend is back in town."

The phone call only lasts for a minute and a half, and we spend half of that minute and a half ha-ha-ing. But she needs her sleep and I think (?) she thanks me for calling. Ah, such a nice way to end a Saturday, to end a week. Good night, Momma.

Update: 2012.03.03 14:00

I just checked Willie's schedule and he is currently just south of me in Lubbock TX performing this evening, and then in April will be at the previously mentioned casino near my mother, just in time for Easter! BUT ... there is a price difference. The minimum amount for a ticket in Lubbock today is $45 and the future show near mom is $250, plus fees. You do get lotza eXtra goodies for the $250 package, and I s'ppose if he is your boyfriend it would be okay, but then I thought, if he is reaLLy my mom's boyfriend she should get in free. Perhaps I should call their "Help" telephone number to see if that would be possible. Then maybe if they started dating, Willie could be my new daddie. I checked, and Willie and my mom are pretty close in age, so thats a plus. Wikipedia says he has been married four times and currently married, but that hasn't appeared to prevent him from dating in the past. I am not sure what his current policies are, or how mean his current wife is, which would be a deciding factor. Plus my mother is currently married, I forgot to mention that.

Extras in the Casino Package Deal

Premium Package Includes:
   1 great ticket to the show
   1 exclusive Willie Nelson T-shirt
   1 exclusive Willie Nelson Professional 8x10 Photograph
   1 keepsake VIP laminate
   1 year Willie Nelson Club Luck* fan club membership
   1 digital download of the live show


Update: 2012.03.03 17:00

My mother and I know how to have a good time. I call her on the phone to chat quite often, but not often enough. A long time ago when I only had three real names instead of four, my initials were EBB, but I was a huge Elton John music fan and somehow in my early college years I informally had Elton as a nickname. I knew that even Elton Hercules John was reaLLy Reginald Kenneth Dwight. Some people didn't even know my real first name. One day two of my friends at the science building were arguing over whether Ernie or Elton was my real first name, which of course, its neither, the real first name is Ernest. So in college I would practice writing creatively wonderful bizarre letters home to my mother which were signed:

    Love,
    Elton Ernest [my B middle name] Boston
    The First, The Worst, and Probably The Last

So now you finally know what the word 'blog' stands for:

    Bizarre
    Legends
    Of
    Geeks

I Was Able To Predict The Future for Tom Selleck - Can I Help You?

My psychic abilities are limited.

But I was able to predict what Tom Selleck was going to do much later in yesterday's episode of Blue Bloods. But I am having considerable trouble hitting the T key, instead I am going to the right doing Y too often.

In a scene in his office as police commissioner Tom hands a notepad to a woman so she can write a private note. Tom doesn't see the note. But the cameras spent too much time on the notepad AND he put the notepad back in his desk drawer.

I turned to my wife and told her, "You see that thing he did with the notepad? A little later in the show Tom is going to do that trick where you rub a pencil sideways over the next sheet of paper on the stack to reveal the message in inverse." So rather than using high tech wizardry, Tom went old school, probably Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys, but I doubt Scooby Doo, in order to save the day. Maybe it was something he picked up from his Magnum P.I. days?

My wife was highly impressed when my prediction came true.

I just wanted to brag about my super-human capabilities, well, not so much brag, as to be helpful. So if you are having trouble predicting the future, just let me know, and I will give you an answer. If you ask me the right kind of question, I can be 100% correct!

How? You ask.

Well, I will just imagine your scenario question-dilemma, and then I will play an episodic answer in my little brain. It will be up to you to read my mind, and then act accordingly on this visual-neural information. Oh, and to make it easier than that I will publish Questions and Answers as well. If the only visual information that I have for you is a cartoonish Blogger icon, then be sure to look in the animated drawings section of my brain. If I have no idea what you look like, then I'll just use The Simpsons by default, just look for your Blogger ID on the opening screen shot. AND if you want something reaLLy special you can specify a particular teleBision show in your request, even do something with live people, like Gilligan's Island or The Munsters.

Instructions: Send me a G-Rated comment with your question about your future, and optionally a teleBision show or actor-actress or even some other famous person, that will appear in my version of your future.

Ooh, I feel special, kinda like a Genie! And by Genie I am referring to the garage door opener.

5 Outta 8 Ain't Bad

Julie gave me a writing eXercise. Use five out of eight of the following words in a poem or story. Here goes.

    blackberry
      mother
       needle
        cloud
        voice
         whir
         cliff
          lick      



Neanderthal Dreams

10,000 BC - sometime in the month of May

While observing the whir of needle shaped clouds with my mother on a cliff, she said, "why don't you hang your body over the side of the cliff, I'll hold your ankles, and you can pick me some fruit of that blackberry plant, like we do every summertime. Be sure not to lick them before they are washed, you don't want to get lick sick." But I thought about how much I had grown in the last year, plus how much weaker my mother was getting since her ax accident, plus her dropping me 350 feet last year, and

" NO!!! "

said my voice, "I don't care if it is Mother's Day and your birthday and the anniversary of the time my sister went "missing" while hunting and gathering."

How To Destroy A Small Texas Town

There is a small town in Texas with a large name. A long time ago it had a high school and kept that school going for several decades until there were just not enough students to keep it going. In Texas the number of students you have equates to how much money you get from the state coffers.

But for some reason when the school system decided to close the high school, they kept the grades K through 6th in operation. This took place around 20 years ago.

But then times changed. A little.

The population of the town didn't really change positive. It fell during the year 1990, 2000 and 2010 census by about 40 percent. There were some new jobs with hog houses, and oil production. But certainly not enough local kids to justify a high school.

But they decided to open a junior high then a little while later a high school again.

They pumped about 5 million dollars into infrastructure, financed by bond issues.

How did they find more kids? Bussing.

They bussed kids in from several miles away. Supposedly they had plans to bring in "above average" students, but soon they dropped this idea. So then suddenly several of the students who lived IN the small town chose to go to a neighboring town to get away from the outsiders who had invaded "their" school.

190

It is my understanding that you need a minimum of 190 students to break even in a school system, and the number of students in this school system is only at about 2/3 that amount. So the state of Texas will probably shut down the entire school system after May of this year. Plus the town has been split in two in an uncivil war of words. Property values have collapsed. You can rent, but it is now difficult to finance a property sale there.

All the details in this blog post are from conversations that I have had with people inside the situation, so any and all of this information should be considered suspect.

What interesting thing did I learn today: From a goverment census website, I learned that Texas is the only state to enter the United States by treaty as opposed to territorial annexation.  This allows the Texas flag to fly at the same height as the US flag.

Will Not Work For What?

So the CNN headline today reads that North Korea will stop nuclear testing activities in eXchange for food. Brilliant. Have we heard this before?

What I reaLLy want to see though is a homeless person put that message on a cardboard sign, and there are several homeless people who beg for money just a few miles down the road from the Pantex Plant in Amarillo, the final assembly point for all nuclear weapons in the USofA, about forty miles south of my house.

"Will Stop Testing Nuclear Weapons for Food/$$$"

Then I just remembered that I had nothing else better to do this afternoon than take a nap.

Hmmm, sounds interesting.

Deaf I Sit, Spending

So I spend 20 minutes looking for my stamps that are always kept in an eXact spot.

If my time is worth 70 dollars an hour, then lets say that was $23.33 wasted.

In the middle of searching for maybe 4 to 6 dollars worth of stamps I accidentally knock half of a container of premium paper towels off the table because I moved them onto an unstable hill of laundry which them fell onto the floor. If I lived in California where mudslides happen I might have known better. But I have obviously not spent enough time in the Golden State. The paper towels were still in their container so they would have still been sanitary if they would have landed in any other 99.25% of the house, but no, they had to land on top of and then capsize the dog's water bowl. Big size dog, big size bowl, recently filled, big size mess.

I love my dog.

Dog water goes everywhere just enough so that all five and half dollars worth of paper towels are contaminated. The dog bowl is completely upside down. So is my mood. The dog retreats to the other side of the house. I sweet-talk the dog, he comes back. I clean up the water. I refill his bowl.

So I decide to go to my vehicle to use my phone which I had left out there because I had come home to make a quick dash in for a certain bill to mail and the all important stamp. I call the wife. Yes, my stamps are in her purse!

I mailed my letter using money at the postage store. Then I drowned my sorrows in a Grilled Chicken Sandwich, Baked Potato, and semi-flat Dr. Pepper. At least it was cold and wet to help me try to make it through the rest of the dust bowl dry day we are having. Um, didn't it rain yesterday?!?!? I remember writing an unpublished blog story that had rain in it.

I was just kidding about my time being worth 70 dollars an hour. Its probably only 67 and change. Deflation, I'm now a bargain!

Ooo Ooo Ooo, there's a new Gweenbrick! I must go ....

How To Make Coffee The Fork Way & Spin Babies

When I first saw my wife's new Keurig coffee maker a year ago, and how easy it worked, I was pleased. BUT when I went to buy replacement refills of coffee containers I was shocked at how eXpensive they were per cup. About the best deal I can find is the largest volume size of 80 cups for a little more than 30 dollars. And I don't even like strong coffee or the taste of any coffee yet in any prepackaged Keurig container. I don't like using their reusable device that allows you to use your own brand of coffee. It leaks too much, and its too messy for just one cup of coffee.

For awhile I was reusing my wife's Keurig containers, passing a second blast of hot water through them. But I still longed for the taste of Folger's Classic Roast. AND spending less money on coffee.

So about 2 months ago I figured out how to make coffee without using a coffee maker. I put a small amount of coffee grounds in the middle of a pair of coffee filters, and then bunch the filter top together held in place by the middle tines of a fork to encapsulate the coffee grounds properly. Meanwhile I have already heated up a cup of water in the microwave oven that already has my sugar in it. Then I put my "coffee bag" in the near boiling water and swish it around until it has the right strength. When it gets a little strong on coffee flavor toward the final part of the cup, I pull out the coffee bag and reheat more water and sugar, then put the coffee bag back in the second round of hot water. 

I have also learned to very slowly rotate the moist coffee bag while standing by the microwave oven waiting for the second cup of water to heat up. If you hold the coffee bag still or don't rotate it fast enough, then it drips. I usually rotate it over the trash can just to avoid any mess, holding in all that precious coffee goodness for my second cup. I also realized there may be other soggy things that wouldn't leak as easily if they are gently rotated. The first thing that came to mind was an infant with a wet diaper. I am not recommending this! It was just the first thing that popped into my siLLy liTTle brain.

I did see a small nearly 3 year old boy last night at the restaurant who is absolutely adorable. I asked him if he got his cute backpack at Gander Mountain (it was camouflage) and he told that it came from "nowhere". I have known his family for a very long time, and I just now remembered that when I was getting married the 3 year old's father attended my wedding. Of course, he was on the inside of his mother at that time. His older sister and I figured that out at work one day when we were calculating that she had been an infant at my wedding.

My coffee expense has been drastically reduced, and I am back to my favorite flavor of coffee. The world is a better place, and I may possibly have enough money to retire on now.

There  were  no  infants  harmed  in  the  making  of  this  blog  post  (honest).

What Am I Doing Right Now?

Right now I am watching the movie "Next" starring Nicolas Cage. Well, at this eXact moment there is a commercial, but the movie will return shortly, according to a micro burst interruption in the commercials. It is a bit science fictiony, and then I checked its creator and discovered it was by Philip K. Dick, oooh, he is good. He died almost thirty years ago on March 2nd.

So what siLLy thing am I reaLLy doing? I am sitting here trying to guess what the next line of dialogue is going to be, one of my favorite things to do, while watching a movie about a guy who can see into the future, but only two minutes. But part of the problem with the presentation of the movie on my teleBision is that every once in a while during the commercials it shows very brief pieces of video of future events of the movie, SO I already know the main character gets captured .... (?) .... Why did they do that?!?!?

Oh, here is something ironic in the movie: Part of the plot involves a nuclear weapon terrorist act and there is a s'pposedly randomly picked movie playing in the background on the teleBision, "Dr. Srangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb" in one of the scenes.

Oh, this is cool: The movie is now just over and the credits are scrolling in the opposite direction.

Oh, sorry I began three paragraphs in a row with the word "Oh" including this one. That was uncalled for and I didn't see it coming.

That was a fun movie.

So .... What's next? The movie 'The Help' on Blu-Ray.

YEA!!! Something Exciting Enough To Wake Up My Wife In The Middle Of The Night

I let the Cooper outside at 11 PM at the back door.

I just happened to look down inside my nearest pineapple plant, and instead of more leaves, there is a pineapple growing! Actually, I think it is a bloom at this point. This will be the f1rst time that I have had a plant try to produce a fruit, so far they have just been giving me leaves.

So I rushed to the bedroom and woke up my wife so she could also come to see it. Pineapple Plant Party Time!!! She was only about 10% as e_Xcited as me. She asked me, "how can it grow a pineapple in just that little bucket of dirt?" It is currently growing in a Folger's Coffee plastic coffee container, the 33.9 oz size, and that is only 2/3's filled with soil.

In all my eXcitement trying to take a photograph I completely forgot about the dog being outside! I think Tamie must have let him back inside, yeppa, he is in the other room. I managed to damage only two orchid blooms while trying to shoot this pineapple plant, going through three different lens on my Sony Alpha 350 before I found the right one to work properly in the dark with the camera flash. I will try to get another picture in the morning with natural light and a tripod.

Link to Wikipedia Article for Pineapple

Update 2012.03.02: Photograph

Update: 2012.03.08 - Approx 2 weeks - Pineapple is now about an inch across and high.
Photo by iPhone 4 S

Does Baskin Robbins Have Pectinariidae Flavor?

Today I just learned (15 minutes ago) that there is a worm called the "Ice Cream Cone Worm".

From Wikipedia: Pectinariidae

Pectinariidae, or the trumpet worms or ice cream cone worms, are a family of marine polychaete worms that build sand tubes roughly resembling ice cream cones up to two inches long.

Pectinaria koreni (with and without tube)

Head is on the right side

© Hans Hillewaert / CC-BY-SA-3.0

To think that someone invented the ice cream cone without a proper name several years ago and then later a committee was sitting around thinking, what should we call this new dessert treat container? Then one of them with a biology background said, "I know, there is a worm called the ice cream cone worm, the Pectinariidae, that builds a sand tube that resembles our new cold food invention." And that is how the ice cream cone was not named.

The more you no.

Update: Someone told me that I was a "terrible and disgusting person for showing this picture. Now I have to wait several months before I have a cone." I thought about their comment for quite awhile and came to the conclusion that the picture is straight from wikipedia. Its just a worm that is part of the many things that live in the ocean. I didn't create the name for the animal, someone else did that. All I did was write a silly piece of humor where I twisted the order of events, a "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" story punchline. But, "terrible and disgusting person" ? I am not sure about that one. I think I read and see far far worse material than this on other blogs on an almost daily basis.

It is never my intent to be terrible and disgusting. Dear Reader: I hope you recover in several weeks instead of several months.

I think I just created a diet. I think the sand tube looks more like a deep fried burrito or pie. There, maybe that makes me more terrible and disgusting, (???), not sure. That picture kind of reminds of sushi, but I never eat sushi, so I am not an eXpert. The second part of the picture also looks like several things you might see during a stroll down the meat market at my grocery store, lotza strange bizarre things there.

This reminds me of the latest advertising slogan of the Red Lobster Restaurant, "I See Food Differently".

I Just Improved V-8 Juice !!!

I started drinking a severely humongous amount of V-8 Hot & Spicy Juice several weeks ago. But then I realized that the bottles of regular V-8 juice are much cheaper in my store, so I bought them instead and I have eXperimented with varying amounts of Tabasco Sauce. Then I added Worcestershire Sauce as well, and that had been my standard for quite awhile. Today's new discovery is a small amount of sugar !!!

Mmm ... Wonderful, y-e-s!!!

I am home from a day trip, shot a few photos. One is a great "Wash Your Hands" photo, and then another is a series of panoramics that I will try to blend together. I used a circular light pole for my 'try'-pod. I put the flat part of my camera on the light pole then repositioned slightly counter-clockwise, pausing to take several photos about every 15 degrees of rotation. I am going to try to also take all of the automobiles out of the finished photo by carefully selected where the overlaps begin-end. Sneaky! It is an important part of a former trip's storyline, which I will eventually publish as a separate blog post.

Link to "Wash Your Hands" photo

Ernest Shepherd

I have learned several things about my dog.

He likes me to be where HE wants me to be.

I tried reading in the kitchen at the bar with my coffee while waiting for some dishes to soak. He positioned himself on the carpet at the edge of the living room soft carpet, staring at me, smiling, indicating "want", but not begging, not asking for food, just staring at me trying to make and maintain eye contact.

"Yes? You want something?"

He just sits there on the soft floor warmed by himself, not wishing to venture onto my cold hard floor.

"Do you want me to come into the living room to read so you can chew on a rawhide bone?"

Bigger smile now and tail begins to wag but he doesn't move the rest of his body until I begin to move towards the living room.

Dishes can wait.

I get on the couch to write this and read my friends blogs. He gets on the soft carpeting at my feet and begins working a rawhide bone. But then he stops and stares at the teleBision that is playing music on cable channel 62.818 - Adult Alternative music: Jack Johnson, My Morning Jacket, The Fray, Good Old War, The Hold Steady ....

He is quiet.

Suddenly after fifteen minutes of music he has enough of this and positions himself in the hallway towards the bedroom. At first he doesn't say anything, he just stares. Finally I make eye contact. Then he makes "subtle request noises".

I tell him that I don't want to go back to bed.

He becomes progressively louder.

I stand my ground and don't move.

He gets much closer and louder with his complaining.

I tell him no, repeating my previous words.

He quiets and lays on the floor, although not quite as close as before.

I realize I have to be ready to go downtown to meet plumbers to have them fix something in about an hour.

No, let me rephrase that in the language Plumber Nonsense-ese. I have to wait all day for their phone call so that I can go to the other place for them to work when they get ready. 8 AM just happens to be the earliest that they could possibly call. I s'ppose I should check to make sure my phone is charged and get cleaned up for the day. The dishes can wait and soak a little longer. I need to soak me for awhile. I need more coffee, "two".

Time to find a new music channel on the teleBision as well.

I hear strange noises and turn down the teleBision music.

Cooper is now snoring.

Then a second disturbing animal noise.

I hear a cat suddenly scream right outside my window.

Sleeping dog doesn't move.

I don't investigate the neighbor's cat.

Someday soon I will tell/show you how I make coffee. No coffee pot required, just a microwave oven and a fork. That's right: A Fork

The Best $75,000 Dollars I Ever Spent

I devised an ingenius evil plan that has paid back wonderfully on my $75,000 investment.

Plastic surgery.

Plastic surgery, you say?!?!?

Yes, plastic surgery.

I waited until Bill Gates had created his billions AND quit working, then I had myself turned into an almost eXact duplicate of William Henry Gates III.

I refer to myself as Bill Gates, version 3.1

Then I secretly kidnapped the real Bill Gates AND had him surgically enhanced El Plastico, with a minor lobotomy, and he is now a pig farmer in rural southern Idaho.

Hold it, you now say, who is this Ernest Boston that lives in Borger Texas and writes this blog and has a dog Cooper .... its a virtual me.

Bwah hahah-aha-ha ha ha !!!

Update: 2012.02.18 12:45

I just googled the words "Bill Gates Plastic Surgery" and I made it to spot #19 out of 741,000 search results. But when I tried it on a PC to get the "out of number" because my iPad mysteriously doesn't give me that info, then I noticed that I don't show up in the search results, at least not in the top 630, which is the limit that Google will display on my PC. Now you can start your own conspiracy theory about that disappearance!

Ah, I added to the Google search: "Bill Gates Plastic Surgery Pig Farmer", now I am in spots 1 and 2, out of 57,300 results, cool!

Oh, this cool: When I went back and did the search for "Bill Gates Plastic Surgery" sans Pig Farmer after putting that conspiracy theory paragraph online several minutes ago, my blog is now at spot #7 out of 741,000 results, now this is a wild ride.

Blogger: Learn LESS

Blogger has reached a new level of stupdity in the last 24 hours. Their new word verification system for comments displays visual garbage that is very difficult to read. So I went to the settings section of the blog configuration to see if there were any options that could help. This is what I find:

[Copied from Screen:]
This will require people leaving comments on your blog to complete a word verification step, which will help reduce comment spam. Learn more

Blog authors will not see word verification for comments.
[End of Copy]

Okay, see that [ Learn more ] ? It was a hyperlink, but when I clicked it, I get an ERROR message, there is NO help! There is NO-thing else to "learn". Sounds familiar.


[Copied from Screen:]
We're sorry, but the information you've requested cannot be found. Please try searching or browsing the Help Center.
[End of Copy]

It appears that Blogger has hired some of the same programming and design idiots that have recently i_rnpr^ov_ecl Facebook.

Example of a Very Bad Word Verification

Update: I turned off the Word Verification for comments, but left the approval step in place. NOW the system has this error: The next comment that was left for my blog showed up twice. So I have to approve one and then manually delete the second one!


Update: NOW about one day later I have had to turn Word Verification back ON for comments because I am getting flooded with robotic spam messages filling up my inbox on my email as well as showing up in the Is This Spam inbox of Blogger.

There Is No Hostage Situation

While sitting on my couch in the living room it sounded like there was someone nearby outside talking through a bullhorn, like in a police stand-off. I immediately thought there must be another hostage situation going on. So I went to the back door and opened it a bit. But it was just one particular neighbor's dog barking very strangely out of all the other dogs, maybe a dozen or so sporadically barking at and after each other, ad museum. I did have the proper spelling 'ad nauseum' already in place, but I just wanted to see if you were awake.

Its not like we have hostage situations very often.

Anyway, happy valentines day. Yes, I wrote that in lower case h-v-d, I am just not that eXcited enough to go to the effort of doing the whole H-V-D uppercase letter thingie today. I did manage to make Uncle Ern's World Famous Soup for lunch. I think I improved the recipe by only using half a can of tomato sauce instead of none or one. Much earlier I also put a photo blog post online as well. I reaLLy need to go groc shopping as well. I must have cherry cheesecake soon, very very soon. It has been a few days since I have had a slice. Mmm, cherries! Okay, the cherry thoughts are beginning to eXcite me.

Oh! I just now realized that I left the oregano out of my soup! I am always amazed at how your mind can suddenly remember something that you forgot to do hours before, something you have done hundreds of times in your life. [YES] I have made my soup many times. I will add some oregano before I eat the second half of it, if I remember!

My Mondays are now completely different. I am now watching The Voice, and Smash. I love Katharine McPhee's voice. But I miss Whitney very much and that is the main point of sadness in my life right now, her passing.

Feb 14th, 2012 - Photos: My Bud-get Plan Is Working - orchid blooms - on my photo story blog

Don't Say This, Please!

I just heard an Oklahoma state senator Constance Johnson (D) from the 48th District say a very strange, very poor choice of words when arguing about state legislation concerning when life starts.

"We have bigger eggs to fry"

No, please don't say this again.

Where Here When Now

The right half of my head hurts with a self inflicted gum shot wound.

I bite my tongue way too often, mainly on the right side.

I was awake way too many hours last night.

Mainly because I ate one too many suppers.

The second very late supper was on the road and unfamiliar things. Hurtful things.

Yesterday was a good day in one aspect that I got to hear my son's voice very far away while he "gets" paid for camping in the cold outdoors. I miss his laughter. He didn't do any laughing yesterday with me.

I need to get moving. My stomach now hurts several hours later the opposite way, it is hungry.

I am debating when to eat my diner based grilled chicken sandwich. They are closed tomorrow, Sunday. I am hungry for it right now, but if I eat it now, say 1:30 PM on Saturday, that will make it be a longer time period before I could have another on Monday, AND due to someone else's plans for me it will be later on Monday, unless I decide to have one for breakfast. Decisions, decisions. Grilled Chicken Sandwich Delay Angst.

I was a good boy and helped someone maintain their secret identity. I can't tell you anymore than that, other than to say that I later jokingly attempted to blackmail that person for $1,000 to keep quiet. Hahahahehehehohoho-y, I am such a silly silly boy sometimes!

I have just been reading blogs and listening to the fan in my room. No news, no wikipedia, no enlightenment.

Oh, I just remembered that I am getting Shrimp and Crawfish Etouffee on Monday, never mind about the Grilled Chicken Sandwich of The Future, that will be more than enough to fill me up for the entire day, a huge portion of Cajun in Amarillo.

I have a sudden fascination with raccoons. I blame PBS for this.

How to get rich being a doctor: I read yesterday how an Englishman helped an African king heal from a stab wound. The grateful king gave him a coastal piece of property of 3,000 square miles.

I would like to stab the oral surgeon who messed up my mouth twenty years ago. I don't have 3,000 square miles of property to give away to hire an assassin. I am also not a king so I probably couldn't get away with it. It also probably violates my basic code of attempting to be the nicest person in the universe.

Now rotating my body 90 degrees to attain verticality and movement and nourishment. The dog just sneezed. He is now awake and will soon demand something soon. I need a pet raccoon that will feed itself. Or better yet, grill me a chicken sandwich. But I am not sure how well raccoons share food. That is probably not a likely scenario for at least another thousand to ten thousand years to have a docile raccoon who speaks sign language and is handy in the kitchen. It would probably be easier to achieve with a gorilla. I need a pet gorilla with grilling skills.

I suddenly realized and remembered two very important things: I will have to learn sign language AND raccoons do not have opposable thumbs.

My Review of the Book 'Eeeee Eee Eeee' by Tao Lin

I looked at a sample of the book Eeeee Eee Eeee, by Tao Lin, online, and bought the Kindle version. I have read several pages (laughing a few times) and here is my initial review:

There is a theory called the Infinite Monkey Theory that states that if you let a monkey bang away randomly on a typewriter for an infinite period of time he will eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare. From this theory I have derived the Quarter Monkey Theory that states that a monkey using only one hand instead of two and using only half of infinity instead of all of it, could write the book Eeeee Eee Eeee.

[For those weak in mathematics, one half times one half equals one quarter.] Do keep in mind I mean this as a compliment to the author.

After I read the complete book I will make a recommendation.

Warning: The book contains some naughty words.

Update: This has nothing to do with the book. I semi-randomly read an article on the Korean alphabet named Hangul, and now I think it a very wonderful way of writing. The shape of the letters has to do with the shape of the mouth while speaking, and syllables are a collection of sounds that are wrote as separate groups. Of course I say that only knowing about the language, not actually using it or learning it. But its adoption by the Korean people for a written language instead of using Chinese characters made it easier to have a higher literacy rate, especially among the poor people. I will give you a separate review of my attempts at learning Korean. But I can tell you this much: I studied it an hour or so ago and I still remember how to write 'ganada' in Korean. That is the equivalent of English for ABC, the first three letters of the alphabet.

The Hangul arrangement is called the ganada order, (가나다 순) which is basically an alphabetical order named after the first three letters (g, n, d) affixed to the first vowel (a). The letters were named by Choe Sejin in 1527.

Link to the Korean Alphabet

Update: Friday morning pre-chicken sandwich - I have made it eXactly halfway through the book Eeeee Eee Eeee. What shall I compare it to? In some ways it is like every snowman I have ever built-made-gave life to that is now just a puddle somewhere or a drop in the ocean, and a perceptive child walks by and looks at his reflection in the puddle, and forces his mother to stop as he points, and she says, "What is it?" and the child smiles and says, "It's a snowman!". Or it could be like a shark that was swimming through a drop of the ex-snowman and he suddenly thinks, "That bit of ocean was a little colder and less salty than normal".

I got to the very middle of the book and imagined being on a Bell Curve, eXactly halfway, like you were done climbing up the side of the curve ready for an easy ride down, but then you notice that the curve has suddenly inverted and you NOW have to make the same climb back out of a Bell Curve shaped hole. Ugh.

On my way through the book I get the idea to make a list of all the naughty words, and then make a frequency diagram, maybe color coding each naughty word. I am not sure just yet what kind of graph it will be.

The writing is eXcruciatingly random to the point of slowly nearly inducing pain, but then just as you think a tiny piece of pain is going to happen within you, suddenly you laugh, and say out loud, I can't believe people pay money for this. Or else you fall asleep and think you read something, but it was reaLLy just a dream.

I am off to feed the dog and then myself in that order.

Update: Monday morning with headache - I decided to read the second half of the book backwards, sentence by sentence. I figured it would probably make just as much sense to do it that way as to go forward. So here is my review of the entire book: I believe that most anyone could write a book very similar to Eeeee Eee Eeee by following these steps.

 A) Find someone who would agree to take LSD and be interviewed
 B) Prompt the someone with questions about bears, dolphins, girlfriends, hampsters, Obama, pizza and space aliens
 C) Follow the someone around recording everything they say and do
 D) Ask the someone questions if they stop speaking
 E) Stop when you have 211 pages of material

Would I recommend reading this book? No, but I am going to scan it again so I can create an accurate chart of naughty words. I certainly would not recommend that anyone read this book while taking LSD or while confined to a psychiatric ward.

Note: I have no personal eXperience with illegal drugs. I have just seen the effects on others and heard a lot of stories. And I'm a chemist.

My iPadhone & Point 500

I had spent about ten years emailing to a pen pal (a best friend from childhood) with content that I now do on my blog, so this coming July marks 5 years blogging, so altogether roughly 15 years of blog-equivalency.

I am quiet on Facebook for now, discouraged with their interface, eXcept that I check my e-mail twice a week or so. So I am fairly happy with my blog collection of stories. I am at about 500 blog posts in my writing, but that doesn't include my minor blogs which may have about 100 entries for art, cartoons, recipes, game instruction, Portuguese translations of writings, and stories that focus mainly around a photograph, a more visual blog. After being a computer scientist for nearly 32 years, it is phenomenal how far we have come, sitting here typing this on my iPad that I just Skype-ified yesterday.

Thats right, I now have an iPadhone. I use a "simple" iPad with no 3G hardware, combined with a variety of internet routers at home, business, and a portable 3G-4G hotspot. The Skype charges are about 8 to 9 dollars a month, unlimited calling in the US and Canada, as well as free computer-to-computer around the globe.

Good-bye AT&T cell phone.

Funniest Headline Ever

From CNN: Obese Pets Are A Growing Problem

Now my lil brain wants to make a hyaku with 'much' 'munch' 'mutt' and 'lunch'.

I tend to write rather dan-ger-ous poetry in the dark AM's.

Obese pets are a

Growing problem tend to be

Eating all they see

My mutt munched muchly

How longingly at his lunches

Now belly bunches

After cleaning all

The food from his bowl complete

Demands dental treat

Every night at nine

There is an insistent "please!"

For a slice of cheese

Groundhog Day After

At a few minutes after midnight during the day February 3rd (just now) I found out that I missed Groundhog Day!!!

Earlier at the groc store people kept telling me that it smelled like it was going to rain. I am not so sure what that smells like. We missed so much rain last year, so ANY rain is eXciting. So its now at midnight just after its been raining, even heard some thunder. Cooper got wet. He went outside. Twice. Then he came inside and decided to shake off his eXcess rain water onto ME.

Whoa! I just accidentally paid attention to a teleBision commercial and discovered a breakfast cereal called Kellogg's Cru_nc_hy N_ut. So I will go to the store later today and find some. I will give you my opinion later.

Link to Kellogg's Crunchy Nut

BUT their advertising slogan is, "So delicious, you won't want to wait until morning"

I notice things. The most recent thing I noticed is there seems to be a defect in the SuperDoppler radar system on Channel 10. There is a storm passing through Claude TX right now and there is a strange very straight very narrow diagonal line near just southwest of that city that doesn't seem to be getting any severe weather as a storm passes through. But I could be wrong. Maybe its just a magical place of NO severe weather! I want to move there.

There was a very good stand up comedian on teleBision a few minutes ago. I will try to find his name. I missed it, sorry. [His name is Mark Forward]

I have a sudden desire to take karate lessons. Not this very moment, but later.

Oh-Oh-Oh!!! I just figured out something great for my dog. He likes it when I use his body for a percussion instrument, and sometimes I tap on him rhymically to the music. The commercial a few minutes ago was for a local home manufacturer, so the jingle goes "A-1 is number one" which I changed to "Coo-per is num-ber one!" so now when he hears the commercial he will think they are singing about him.

I have decided that I am going to start training for the teleBision show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

The A-1 commercial came on again, so I sang the jingle with his name instead of A-1, but he was busy this time on the floor working on a chew bone, so he didn't care, as evidenced that he didn't wag his tail.

Wooooo, tornado warning with that earlier storm now by the city of Canadian. (its several minutes later while I am writing this initially AND watching teleBision.

I just noticed that there was a commercial for a medicine that used very similar music that I originally heard in an internet provider commercial! I wonder if I just uncovered a musical crime?!?!?

Okay, its a few more minutes and there is no longer a tornado warning.

NOW, its time to play the Quiz Show Game, "What Is Today?"

The answer is, its Grilled Chicken Sandwich Day, mainly cause I didn't have one yesterday. So in approximately 10 hours I will be hopefully eating my favorite sandwich.

BUT more important than that, well, almost as important as a chicken sandwich, I hope to get to visit my friend Teresa who moved back to town. She was one of my most favorite people to chat with at my former job, and I saw her briefly at my favorite chicken sandwich restaurant two days ago. Yea!!!! I think we have been friends for twenty plus years.

It is almost 2 AM and I was hoping to be asleep by now. Nope. Not e-v-e-n close.

Update at 9:44 AM - I wake up after the most amazing dream almosta ever. I reaLLy want to go back to sleep. It is almost as amazingly vivid as the one where I was married to two out of three of the Dixie Chicks. I just noticed that I wrote "It is" at the beginning of that last sentence instead of "It was". I want to leave my dream in the present tense and not the past.

I found a good reason to be aWake: the first of a buncha buds on my orchid plant began to open up today! I am having tremendously good luck with this plant, I have lost track how long I have had it or how many bloom sessions. I s'ppose I could wander back through old photo directories and see some dates. We have lived in this house for about three and a half years, so a little less than that would be my first guess.

I think I have figured out the best way to re-pot an orchid plant: Don't do it! The one time I tried it with this plant it almost died. So from now on I am just going to add a little bit of new orchid bedding mix on top of the old and recycle dead branches and fallen blooms.

Forty minutes. It is now forty minutes until eleven o'clock, so that means sandwich time very very soon. I also plan to go walking in the rain or semi-non rain aftermath at the park. For now it is quiet time with puppy, coffee, and you.

Update: 10:15 PM - There was confirmed damage from that tornado, info from the newscast just now.

Later Today I Might Accidentally Become The Smartest Person In The World

"No !!!!"

There is something that my wife absolutely hates.

"No-OOOOoooo !!!!"

There is a teleBision commercial for J. C. Penney's that has a single word, either alone or repeated, the word "no". It has been playing eXtremely often for about the last week. The commercial consists of several scenes where people are completely traumatized by Sale signs, discount sale signs with an overwhelming number of percentages, and coupons flooding out of mail boxes, etc. People are screaming the word NO singularly or repeating it in so many different ways. It ends with the words enough.is.enough on a plain white background, which also has a pair of no's in it! (eNOugh) Well, it's about 2 AM and s'pposedly SOMETHING special is happening at J.C. Penney's later today on Feb 1st, something BIG. I have no idea, maybe a sale?!?!?

I also have stated a few days ago that if this commercial was on an endless loop it would make a great torture device.

"No !!!!"

Well, one of the things I like to do is study commercials AND make predictions. I suddenly came up with a brilliant idea for a commercial. Flip it. This horrendous negative 'people are sad' NO!!!! commercial should be followed up with a positive spin commercial where the SAME people in the negative NO scenes are now in positive YES!!! scenes where they are eXcited about the items that they are purchasing AND more importantly, flaunting their savings, screaming, crying. These commercials would have the people eXclaiming YES!!!! in a huge variety of ways.

"No !!!! No !!!! No !!!! No !!!!"

My wife looked at me kinda strangely from across the living room, begging something to the effect, "oh no, I hope you're not right, I hope I don't have to endure this all over again!" So I told her that if I am correct and there is a YES commercial (like what are the odds? One in a million?) then she has to go to work and tell her sister that she (my wife) is married to the most intelligent person in the world.

NO!!!!!!

(of course, my sister-in-law already knows this)

Ha^hahaha_hahah^ahahahaha^hahaha_hahaha

(But I do think it would make a great commercial, maybe not Super Bowl great, but it would be a logical follow up series of commercials.)

Extra: my favorite No!!!! scene is the first segment, it has the words on an overhead sign "65% off yesterday"

No-No-No-No-No-No

I hope all the interspersed No Lines in my blog post weren't too anNOying, you NOw have a taste of what I have been enduring for the last week.