Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2012-03-29

Dream Induced Abdominal Pain

I wake up today (more than once) with severe abdominal pain.

Why?

Because I am having very stupid vivid dreams, recurring ones.

In my dreams I am going to the local used car lot and trying to squeeze between automobiles and objects they are parked very close to, such as a tree.

A tree? Someone would park a car neXt to a tree in a used car lot ... hold it, they don't put alot of trees in car lots.

In my dreams I am known for doing this. The last time I have to get my cell phone out to call to get myself rescued because I am stuck. Yes, stuck between a car and a tree. I wake up with a very sore stomach. In real life I don't even have a cell phone!

I think, "This is the stupidest dream of all time"

I go running into the living room to tell my wife. She is absolutely no comfort, not that I reaLLy eXpected to find any in her.

She laughs, "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard." She claims she has never had that kind of dream.

I don't know who or what to blame. Perhaps it was the very last news article I heard on teleBision last night about Mitt Romney building a house in San Diego that has an elevator for his cars. Yes, that's a true story. Perhaps it has something to do with shopping for new shorts yesterday, trying to squeeze into the smallest size possible? Perhaps it was pushing my human powered lawn mower. Yes, I was mowing in the dark. That was the very last thing I did before I came to bed, besides playing my brain training straining new video game.

All I know for sure is that I am in pain, and the source is stupidity. The main conclusion I can come to is don't vote for Mitt Romney, my body can't take much more of this.


Update 2012.03.30: I wake up this morning with no remembrance of any dream, stupid or otherwise but more importantly, NO pain!

So I wander into the living room for coffee. I begin to work on my Japanese lessons. After I finish my coffee I get a light blanket and pillow to lay on the couch while I continue my studies. I work on several kanji characters, the last one being the character for "friend" 友

But then I wake up from a dream! At least this one has no pain.

Dream: I have three friends who have no names in this dream, so they will just be persons A, B, and C. I convince my alphabet friends that we need to bother someone, person D, who has been bothering us.

So here is my plan: We go to the house of D and stand on his porch. Then we wait there long enough until he feels our "presence". In my dream I believe that we can make our presence known to other people who are nearby out of sight through the use of psychic energy. So we get to the house of D and there is an enclosed porch, and I have friend A stand directly facing the front door. Friends B & C simply sit by the door to the porch and proceed to go to sleep. 

There is a huge gap at the bottom of the door and you can see reflections and shadows of something or someone moving inside the house. But my plan that person D sensing our presence doesn't appear to be working, so I start making scraping noises, running my shoe across the floor. After several minutes of this shoe noise person D finaLLy senses our presence and the front door bursts open.

Person D of my dream is the actor Jeffrey Jones that played the character Dean of Students Edward Rooney in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Upon seeing the four of us on his porch, he lurchs past friend A and points his finger at my face and yells, "I should have known it was you!" but then he turns around and drags friend A into the house by his jacket collar mumbling something in disgust. I follow them into the house thinking that I will be able to save the day with my wrestling skills. Friends B & C have had time to wake up, and they arrive inside as well. The Alphabet Gang and I just stand there staring at Mr Rooney, who has aged considerably since the Ferris B movie, and we stare at him with eXtremely huge tight forced clown face type grins, complete with teeth showing. Rooney looks at all of us suspiciously, he starts to say something backing away, and then I wake up.

21 comments:

Shelly said...

Ha! This was too funny, although I am sorry for the pain-

fmcgmccllc said...

I must disagree on this one. I would rather have car elevators (and I have seen many)than acres of asphalt. Smaller is better for a footprint.

As for the tummy, I am thinking you need to review the eating day. I don't think TV and mowing would do it. Unless you are allergic to something you mowed and in the dark how would you know?

esbboston said...

fmcgmccllc: Today's piece of writing should not be taken as the least bit serious. It may contain several true events but it is entertainment as well as an account of my inner-strained-ment-(al). I was in very severe pain from the actual dreams. There were no alcohol or drugs involved! Romney can build any kind of fancy garage to save real estate space, and La Jolla was one of my favorite places to visit in California. It s chock full of art galleries, and beautiful. The Romney car elevator just happened to be the last automotive thing on the news before I went to sleep. I could have easily had a bizarre dream about the new Bunn pour-o-matic coffee maker that I got yesterday. It happens to be similiar to my father's last coffee maker, which makes me happy and sad rolled into one. Is that what nostalgic means?

Rob Z Tobor said...

Cars and trees I think this is all to do with the conflict between technology and nature. Your mind is trapped between yes build that freeway and No No save the park.

My advice is take the middle road HA HAH AHHAH HAHAHH HAh hahahhhah hahh aa ha and eat organic free range chicken sandwiches

esbboston said...

Rob Z Tobor: Do you have any recommendation regarding the choice of bacon for the grilled chicken sand-a-wich, also, fries or onion rings?

fmcgmccllc said...

I got got a new Bunn coffee maker and I hate it, nothing to do with your dad, I just hate it. Too lazy to take it back so I will just live with hate.

Esby, I never take you too seriously but you should never take automotive things seriously, there is no sense in that.

Arlee Bird said...

That was the stupidest dream I've ever heard. Well, actually not, but I just wanted to say that. I have a lot of dreams where I'm hungry and looking at food, but not a stomach-hurting dream yet.


Lee
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esbboston said...

I added another dream to the blog post. Enjoy.

Rob Z Tobor said...

Two things Mr ESB

First..... Bacon and Onion rings is good

Second......... That second dream is a bit of a worry I'm glad its not my house...... PHEW

esbboston said...

Rob Z Tobor: Thank you giving me guidance for my neXt meal, I will soooon be heading to eat the GCS with Bacon and your choice of Onion Rings at the local diner. If they happen to be out of either of those items, I will have no choice but to burn the diner to the ground, argh, Viking style. I remember reading these instructions recently: Pillage THEN Burn

Hold it ... isn't 'argh' a pirate word? Perhaps I need a Norse translation ... hmmm ... what to do, what to do ....

esbboston said...

Oh, I suddenly remembered that I brought my bottle of BBQ sauce home to refill, oops, I need to remember to get that back to the diner.

Aysh said...

You did well to remember that much of your dream!! I never remember dreams, although saying that there are some dreams that remember vividly! How is the Japanese going?

esbboston said...

Aysh: I think my Japanese reading is getting much better. The iPad seems to be a very good tool for language study. About once a week I take a break from Japanese and do Russian.

I didn't understand what eXactly has been keeping you busy lately, "being on placement".

Mia said...

Reading this will surely give me bad dreams.

esbboston said...

Mia: Ah, I hope my writing doesn't give you bad dreams! If you would like something entirely wonderful to read, try this blog:

Pearl, Why You Little ...

Today's post is quite enjoyable!

Friko said...

Are you sure what you eat last thing at night isn't cheese?

esbboston said...

Friko: There is usuaLLy at least some cheese in every 25 hour day of my life.

Jewels said...

"You looked a bit like Dirty Hairy there, Ed."
Mr. Rooney would make any dream a nightmare.

Aysh said...

Ahh sorry for my lack of explanation. The degree I'm studying requires us to do work experience in an Audiology department, and we call it 'placement', cuz we're placed....in a place!
So being back on placement means I'm back working full time in the hospital for a little while before I graduate, just to make sure i still know what I'm supposed to be doing! :D

esbboston said...

Aysh: I have a daughter-in-law who is just finishing her four years of pharmacy school, so she has been in several places too. We are all glad that soooon neXt month that one last place will be a graduation ceremony! How long until you graduate?

Aysh said...

Yaay congratulations to your daughter-in-law!
I graduate on July the 13th if all goes well :D

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