Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.



If Danger Was My Middle Name, It Would Eventually Split into Dan & Ger

I realized I have been living rather dangerously lately. I have been wandering the house too often without my eyeglasses with corrective lenses. I prefer to read without them. And I have a dog, Cooper, who leaves small sometimes sharp objects everywhere, dangerous for my feet. At his altitude he has no problem seeing The Tiny Sharpies.

My wife has invaded my kitchen and began cooking heavily and is on a strange mission (for her) of finding new recipes. She has also performed most of the groc shopping in the last four weeks or so since the invasion became noticeable (to me).

She has also put Cooper on a diet, saying there is going to be a reduction of cheese in his diet. I am thinking, hmmm, that's what he lives for: Cheese

He could be the mascot for the state of Wisconsin

I told her that I had already been feeding him slightly less. Plus he will be outside more that it is Spring, and chase yard invaders, those arrogant cats, squirrels, and birds who don't know their place in the semi wild kingdom of Cooper D. D. Boston. Yes, my dog has two middle names, and believe it or not, I did not give them to him, the wifey did a long time ago.

The wife had mentioned one day maybe three years ago how our two grown children were jealous that Cooper commanded so much of my attention now that I was in a semi-retired state. She noticed that I was playing with my (then new) Mitsubishi gel pens, practicing writing every ones full name. So she gave Cooper each of their "D" middle names, saying, "Hah! That should [irritate] them reaLLy good!"

Back to the present ... I did have my set of spices in alphabetical order along the left side of the stove, in proper ergonomic position, but now she has flooded the narrow shelf with three times as many spices. Here is my previous blog post: CDO for Spaces & Spices

I know! Who could have seen this coming! Certainly not me.

But I have devised a sneaky plan to at least gain some order to my spice world without having to deal with this flood of refugee flavorings. I have decided to reposition my original subset of spices back into their own region, and then leave the random horde quietly milling around.

Except salt.

Salt? Why salt?

The Salt Wars

For the last two months or so The Wifey has absconded with every salt shaker in the house, all of them eventuaLLy making a pilgrimage, and then held hostage at The Lampstand of The Wife. Yes, and they are always tens steps away when I need it for cooking. I know! I know! Such inconsideration.

The Secret Salt Hideout

I finaLLy realized that MY salt shaker would just need to be hidden, so I chose the cabinet directly above the stove that my wife never uses. I didn't know why, but then I just now noticed that the depth of the stove makes the reach to use the cabinets, which are 12 inches higher than the other kitchen cabinets with handles another six inches higher than the other cabinet doors, and there I think I found my answer in her shortitude. So far MY secret Masada of salt shakers has never gone roamin'. And it is so ergonomicaLLy at just the right sweet spot, which means, "I can find it within one second of time!"

Well, I am going to try to get better about my eyeglasses. Not so much wearing them, but at least keeping track of them. I may start keeping them high in The Secret Salt Sanctuary.

Closing Thought: I just realized that I am on my iPad probably at least an average of FIVE hours per day! So that means during a time period of nearly eighteen months, that is a big number! So looking at an hourly cost, that is probably around 25 cents per hour for the hardware. Even if my guesstimate is off by some huge degree, it is still far less than a dollar per hour. And it ...might... just be the other direction of more hours per day than five, so even cheaper per hour. Apple incorporated is cyborging me.

I leave you with today's incredibly dumb joke, another Apple one. Notice that it has no discernable punchline. If you imagine a psychiatrist asking a patient this question, then I have given you a virtual single frame cartoon.

Question: When you look at iClouds, what anImal shapes do you see?


Shelly said...

In our house, it's my husband who tries to do away with the salt because it's not good for him. I have a little hiding place so I can put some on my food every now and then. I just can't give it up completely!

fmcgmccllc said...

No two people will ever agree on the kitchen arrangement.

Rob Z Tobor said...

You dont get jokes like that on a good old Bill Gates PC.....

Anyway I think the answer is

I WANDERED lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils.

esbboston said...

Shelly: Salt is umm mmm mmm good sometimes, especiaLLy on ripe red tornatoes, a must! I loved your dirt story today.

fmcgmccllc: I totaLLy agree vvith you about kitchens.

Rob Not Ron: That is one of my favorite poems. I like vales reaLLy vveLL, especiaLLy the o'er vales.

momto8 said...

I have my family on a modified salt diet...use lots of herbs and vinegars instead...
I also put my husband on a red wine diet instead of beer..when i told the guys at the beer store I was buying my husband a case of beer for his birthday I think they were just happy in their hearts for him!!!

New Blog for My Abstract Art ... Come Visit

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Something New:

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First poem in the series of linked poems ....

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

Turn Gold Out of the Darkness

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