Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2012-03-08

Two Mules for Sister Siri

I have something irritating me concerning a business situation. My wife and I are talking about it before and during the transport. She is my cargo at the moment. While I am taking my wife to work on my mule while her mountain goat is at the vet having an operation, I tell my wife that I am going to the bar (its also a grill) to drown my sorrows in a grilled chicken sandwich, and I leave out the Dr Pepper beverage part on purpose, and of course I never drink alcohol at that time of day, and never at this bar, at least in the last decade or so. I paint that picture for eXactness that there reaLLy is only a sandwich involved plus the unspoken Dr Pepper, implied.

The wife cracks up laughing at the concept of drowning my sorrows in chicken, grilled.

I smile, I wrote that one well, at least above average if she laughed. I just didn't eXpect a good laugh from her.

Sorrow sad sopping wet chicken. Wet with cooking juiced greases. Served with some mayo. Completed sauce from a tomato based BBQ flavor, Mmmmmm.

No fries, I am cutting out those calories.

I wind up having an eXtemely long lunchtime because I didn't see my HVAC mentor, at first. He saw my mule in the parking lot but didn't see me making a phone call before entering, because my mule is so huge. So he sat in a deeper part of the diner with his back to the front door, plus a minor partition obscuring things slightly. And of course I looked for his mule when I first arrived, as always, while still on my mule but before I made my phone call, so his mule was not there to be seen. His mule is almost eXactly the same as mine eXcept his is white and I feed mine oats and his gets grass. My mule is mainly maroon with bigger hooves.

So when I entered the dire den of brazed BBQ bird on a bun, I sat near the front by the owner and consumed the calories, not realizing my mentor, a giant among humans, was just a few feet away.

Another friend female from my previous place of work arrived and said hello, patting my back, and so I joined her table while she waited on her daughter to arrive. That is when I discovered the hidden huge him of HVAC. So we were both perplexed at how we missed seeing each other, but then spent the neXt full hour talking half nonsense. We did have a good time. Half nonsense plus technical wizardry and physics is our domain. I showed him my new iPad app for learning the Japanese language. He thought it was cool. He wrote his own joke in Japanese!

I spent most of the rest of the day buying the wife the promised Apple. And I discovered that a long lost friend misplaced from My MySpace days was going to be my Apple vendor for the day! Hoo-ray for finding lost friends, and then an eXtra "Hoo-ray!" for getting to help them make money!

Money! Friends! Apples! Chicken! Bacon!

Even having too much wind with flying soil wasn't going to spoil this day.

Money! Friends! Apples! Chicken! Bacon!

So here is my dumb joke of the yesterday of yesterday:

I am sitting at the Verizon store after lunch starting the process of getting an Apple iPhone 4S. I am in luck because the freight has just arrived, and there are three, and I just need one for The Wifey.

The thing I am looking forward to on this particular model is the Siri feature. Siri is an artificial intelligence software program that you interact with verbally. And Siri has a soft feminine voice. You speak questions to Siri, and the voice recognition software converts your request into Google requests, and other web searches, to find things like restaurants and businesses. Or more important things like, "how far is it between the earth and the moon?"

So ... Here, FINALLY is my dumb joke, an Apple joke. What do you call Siri when she gets schizophrenic with multiple personalities, each giving different answers? Siri-us

Update: Good News! It appears The Vet has fixed my wife's mountain goat. It is not a mule. It is black with tiny but very able hooves. The fix was only $500 and so far I highly recommend this new vet. The name of his business is Turbo Exchange and he is on Farmer Avenue just east of Washington. Just ask for Buddy.

6 comments:

Rob Z Tobor said...

I have just read for tale and must now go as I have no brilliant response. As for Apples I have been given a Mini Mac to look at for a friend. ME who is still happy with his old huge lump of steel driven by the now obsolete XP.

esbboston said...

Rob Z: i don't have an Apple computer yet. I have had an iPad for 17 months, and now my wife will have the iPhone.

Kevin Routh said...

Love dumb jokes. I just repeated yours to my coworker and he groaned and rolled his eyes, so it was a success (either that or he just had a stroke). :)
Thanks for the great post!

esbboston said...

Kevin: I am glad that you enjoyed my dumb joke. The people at the Verizon place enjoyed it too. I just asked Siri if it was possible for her to be schizophrenic, and she replied, "I don't know. Would you like for me to search the web for it?"

It is a wonderful feeling to know that your humor has the potential to induce a bwain injury! Hopefully only minor ones.

Jewels said...

If there was a grill where I could have that kind of food AND such great company, with all kinds of people saying hello to me, I'd eat there everyday! (I'd have the fries.)

esbboston said...

Jewels: They are closed on Sunday, so I don't get to eat there quite everyday, plus I run into a GCSSS: Grilled Chicken Sandwich Saturation Situation, and have to avoid an overdose.

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