Two Mules for Sister Siri

I have something irritating me concerning a business situation. My wife and I are talking about it before and during the transport. She is my cargo at the moment. While I am taking my wife to work on my mule while her mountain goat is at the vet having an operation, I tell my wife that I am going to the bar (its also a grill) to drown my sorrows in a grilled chicken sandwich, and I leave out the Dr Pepper beverage part on purpose, and of course I never drink alcohol at that time of day, and never at this bar, at least in the last decade or so. I paint that picture for eXactness that there reaLLy is only a sandwich involved plus the unspoken Dr Pepper, implied.

The wife cracks up laughing at the concept of drowning my sorrows in chicken, grilled.

I smile, I wrote that one well, at least above average if she laughed. I just didn't eXpect a good laugh from her.

Sorrow sad sopping wet chicken. Wet with cooking juiced greases. Served with some mayo. Completed sauce from a tomato based BBQ flavor, Mmmmmm.

No fries, I am cutting out those calories.

I wind up having an eXtemely long lunchtime because I didn't see my HVAC mentor, at first. He saw my mule in the parking lot but didn't see me making a phone call before entering, because my mule is so huge. So he sat in a deeper part of the diner with his back to the front door, plus a minor partition obscuring things slightly. And of course I looked for his mule when I first arrived, as always, while still on my mule but before I made my phone call, so his mule was not there to be seen. His mule is almost eXactly the same as mine eXcept his is white and I feed mine oats and his gets grass. My mule is mainly maroon with bigger hooves.

So when I entered the dire den of brazed BBQ bird on a bun, I sat near the front by the owner and consumed the calories, not realizing my mentor, a giant among humans, was just a few feet away.

Another friend female from my previous place of work arrived and said hello, patting my back, and so I joined her table while she waited on her daughter to arrive. That is when I discovered the hidden huge him of HVAC. So we were both perplexed at how we missed seeing each other, but then spent the neXt full hour talking half nonsense. We did have a good time. Half nonsense plus technical wizardry and physics is our domain. I showed him my new iPad app for learning the Japanese language. He thought it was cool. He wrote his own joke in Japanese!

I spent most of the rest of the day buying the wife the promised Apple. And I discovered that a long lost friend misplaced from My MySpace days was going to be my Apple vendor for the day! Hoo-ray for finding lost friends, and then an eXtra "Hoo-ray!" for getting to help them make money!

Money! Friends! Apples! Chicken! Bacon!

Even having too much wind with flying soil wasn't going to spoil this day.

Money! Friends! Apples! Chicken! Bacon!

So here is my dumb joke of the yesterday of yesterday:

I am sitting at the Verizon store after lunch starting the process of getting an Apple iPhone 4S. I am in luck because the freight has just arrived, and there are three, and I just need one for The Wifey.

The thing I am looking forward to on this particular model is the Siri feature. Siri is an artificial intelligence software program that you interact with verbally. And Siri has a soft feminine voice. You speak questions to Siri, and the voice recognition software converts your request into Google requests, and other web searches, to find things like restaurants and businesses. Or more important things like, "how far is it between the earth and the moon?"

So ... Here, FINALLY is my dumb joke, an Apple joke. What do you call Siri when she gets schizophrenic with multiple personalities, each giving different answers? Siri-us

Update: Good News! It appears The Vet has fixed my wife's mountain goat. It is not a mule. It is black with tiny but very able hooves. The fix was only $500 and so far I highly recommend this new vet. The name of his business is Turbo Exchange and he is on Farmer Avenue just east of Washington. Just ask for Buddy.