My Salamander, The Demander

My Salamander, The Demander

My salamander on my desktop asked me today, "I wish you would give me something to do"

He is about 4 inches long and made of cloth, and is painted a bunch of strange colors, a gift from someone on a road trip from a long time ago, (I think Jill, while she was in New Mexico). I think he is kind of like a bean bag chair. Just don't let him know that I said that about him.

I said "I'm busy right now, leave me alone"

He said, "Say, I have been sitting here for nearly two months since you got back to work and who do you think keeps throwing things at you when you fall asleep and keeping you from getting fired? Its me! Now give me something to do OR people are going to start hearing you snore!"

So I gave him my Texas Instruments Model TI-1775 Calculator.

He said, "What should I do now?"

I said, "How about solving the global energy crisis?", and I thought that should keep him busy for a while.

Silence.

Pretty soon I fell asleep again at my desk and he didn't throw anything at me and I had some dream that involved Iceland, zebras, and Santa Claus.

"DONE!"

14 minutes.

Wow, that was fast!

A couple of years from now when the Nobel Prize committee is handing out the award in Economics to Ernest's Salamander for his work on solving the global energy crisis, you will know which 'Ernest' they are talking about, and which 'Salamander'. But I am not counting on getting any of the prize money. You know how salamanders are about their money. And now you will know who to thank when the price of gas finally goes down.

The next day.....
When I took my salamander back to work after his photo shoot, I gave him a name and educational title to go with the story. I put them on a sign by the corner of my desk where he now resides slaving away at other deep dark scientific & mathematical problems that plague mankind & sala-mankind-der.....

Ernest's New Assistant:

Dr. Sol M. Andrews, Ph.D

Specialist in Global Economics Involving Crisis of Oil (GEICO)