Some of My Rare & Unique Talents

Some of My Rare & Unique Talents
This is a reprint from my MySpace profile page

Being able to see that being fired can some times be a very good thing, especially when the act of the ax is performed by clueless young punk kids, where at least one of them was a natural blonde and you aren't too sure about the other one.


Being able to lose my wife's $1.50 worth of jello. There may always be room for jello, but it isn't always safe around me.


Being able to pick out an Elton John song at extremely low volume, in a very brief time period, in a crowded noisy restaurant.


Being able to peel citrus fruit to a single piece and then reconstruct the hollow orange orb to fool future unsuspecting failed fruit finders.


Being able to confound and confuse supposedly trained professional psychiatric personnel into thinking that I think that my fiction is reality. Snicker snicker snicker. Hey, are you idiots reading this again?


Being able to make a water faucet dripping noise with my moist lips

sorry, those are the only six I can think of at the moment