Meat Me In Pyongyang, Dear

I think we should respond to North Korea's recent threat that, "The U.S. will pay dearly for imposing new sanctions" by sending them deer meat in creative ways.

I suggest carpet bombing the entire country evenly distributed with one pound of frozen ground venison per person, on a weakly basis from all our air bases.

(I chose the wrong 'weakly' to go with today's deer/dear confusion theme)

Will Not Work For What?

So the CNN headline today reads that North Korea will stop nuclear testing activities in eXchange for food. Brilliant. Have we heard this before?

What I reaLLy want to see though is a homeless person put that message on a cardboard sign, and there are several homeless people who beg for money just a few miles down the road from the Pantex Plant in Amarillo, the final assembly point for all nuclear weapons in the USofA, about forty miles south of my house.

"Will Stop Testing Nuclear Weapons for Food/$$$"

Then I just remembered that I had nothing else better to do this afternoon than take a nap.

Hmmm, sounds interesting.

Max-I-Can Food

Ouch. Much. Tummyrumbly. 3 AM. Perhaps the results of Max-I-Can food (?) Actually it was Max-I-Can Tex Mexican food (!) Well, I was compensating for a no lunch munch situation. Perhaps its listening to too much irrational international news while I snooze (?) On a positive note, congratulations to all the happy couples who just got married in a massive ceremony in Peru for only $10. Hope your marriages are as wonderful as ours, as we are just a few days away from 29 years (!)

Hah! I just heard on the teleBision that a woman had called 911 because she had ate too much! When the emergency people showed up, she was arrested for improper use of the emergency service. I promise not to call 911, I will just go ahead and die instead, -boip-, eX-squeeze me. Oh, bother, now the news has switched to the North Korean funeral. I feel I ate enough for their entire country of 24 million people. On a positive note I have checked my smoke detector recently.

Hold it, the smoke detector sentence was just a response to another completely separate news story not tied to my food situation.

I am really confused now - somebody has a new teleBision show called 'Celebrity Wife Swap'. Someone sings, "What are you going to do with your wife?" to an old rock-n-roll twang. Gary Abuse-y is involved?!?!? ... Um, I thinks 'no thanks'.

New news story. Acid reflux.

I think I will attempt to fix this with a cookie and milk.

ANd less teleBision.

I also remembered that I also filled out a survey with the restaurant for a chance to win $1,000. The survey was eXtremely long, I deserve the thousand! My only complaint was the flour tortillas are too small. But now that I think about it they are the size of the tortilla containers that they bring to the table, so getting larger tortillas would require larger containers as well. So there is a very slim possibility that I could win a big cash prize! There is a much slimmer possibility that I am slimmer than 24 hours ago.

Soothe Korea

While listening to the news about North Korea they are talking about the son taking over for the father in leading the country, calling him the 'heir apparent', but in my mind I quickly transform that to 'error of parent', devouring, eating the country, a long sad era of his mad (mentally) parent's errors as well as his parent's parent previous era of errors, grandiose grandfather. Mad, sad, repeat, mad, sad, intensify extensively collective coldness boldness the so very unsavory bad rulers and their minions, oh when will this country's people, Nightmare Korea, her wretched millions, ever have hearts warmed, safe and glad?

One If By Land, 31 If By Sea

Some math to do on your fingers (but first some news):

NEWS FLASH - Thirty-one North Koreans arrive in South Korea after crossing the Yellow Sea by boat.

(Recently, I don't know when - reference: Yonhap News)

If we could just get this to happen once a day, NoKor could be completely empty in the year 4135 on April 2nd at 5:41 PM

(Why, of course I used a spreadsheet! You would not have expected inaccuracy from me, right?)

Of course this math assumes very exact birth control. I tend to think of NoKor as a form of birth control all by itself.

Supposedly that Apr 2nd day in the far far distant future is a Saturday. That would be a fitting nice way to end a work week, the closing down of NoKor. 

It could become a forest, maybe?