Several things delayed me getting my very first sip o' coffee this morning.
[[[->This list is in reverse chronological order, SO if you read it from the bottom upwards ^, .sing fus con less far is therefore and sense more far makes it<-]]]
Photograph TQBQT - "Turned Quasi-Burned Quattro Toast". (Can you tell I have been watching TOO much food lately?) I have devised a way to cook four pieces of toast instead of just two in my toaster. I put two pieces of toast in each slot and a few times throughout the cooking process (no exact number or times just yet) I reverse the two ZAP pieces of toast in ZAP each slot so that ZAP what was on the ZAP inside goes out to ZAP the outside and then ZAP receives an even amount ZAP of thermal radiation. SPRING-BING-DONE. Oh, SAFETY!!! I forgot to mention that I rotate the toast at a 45 degree so that a corner sticks out the top so that one corner remains cool and undercooked during the whole process, and doesn't damage my fingers which are needed for performing the Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D Major. And I noticed that it puts lovely marks on the toast at a 45 degree angle. Rotatoasterie!!! He, he, I just invented a new word, boys and girls, aren't you so proud of me?
Begged and pleaded with my wife to let me include the "Sumo" paragraph, and she FINALLY relented after going through an editing process where she got to pick and choose, so if children happen to read this; R->G.
SUMO: Helped my wife put a protective broad white band around her middle portion to provide post-abdominal operation support, only she looked like a sumo wrestler when we got finished. Then after she sat down I had to go through the motions of a S. Wrestler in the ring, sparring with an invisible partner, throwing the salt around, hands on my knees, complete with a "sumimasen" (excuse me) and a "domo arigato" (thank you very much) and some other Japanese I don't remember now because there was just too too much laughter interspersed.
Socked my wife. Socked my dog. Those are two completely different things and involve only a smattering of violent behavior, mostly from the dog. I helped my wife put on her socks, and just as soon as Cooper saw me fixing to do this, he saunters over and kinda stands there "playing dumb", ready to play one of our favorite games. Quick as a bunny, I take a sock (always clean, of course!) and cover up his eyes and try to hold it in place for 8 seconds (rodeo connection to mychildhood?) while he growls and tries to get away and bite the sock portion that covered his eyes, and I'm trying to make the same exact growling noises only louder than him. Of course, he naturally comes back for more....
The last thing I was doing as the machine Café do Senhor was making the last of his "hot water is still passing over the ground coffee" noises, was trying to find my coffee cup insulator because the house keep/rearranger had been there the day before.
Talking Korean Cow. In Korean with English subtitles. I know, I was as surprised as you. I was walking across the living room when suddenly I saw the last half of a TV commercial with a talking cow. Now I have seen plenty of talking cow commercials, but I am linguistically stopped in my tracks. The cow is talking in Korean with English subtitles. The cow lives in Korea (South probably) and would like to come to California where happy cows live and she would like for the viewers to vote for her in a contest at somethingsomething.com so she can come to America. So I asked my wife if she was watching something recorded from the DVR, and she said no, so I had to take the extra time to rewind the live broadcast to record that little segment. And watch the Kohler toilet commercial right before the Korean Cow where these spies are trying to find a place to hide something, but are foiled by the design of the toilet, extremely modern toilet. The spies were speaking in FRENCH with English words at the bottom of the screen! So I have transcribed the dialogue for you:
[Cancel Korean transcribing]
I helped my wife with her meds. She has gone from sharp pain to soreness, so that's a good sign.
I started working on a title for a blog in MySpace. I came up with:
I am sure you can figure out what the musical tune that goes with those words without me telling you otherwise it would just, please, delay my 2nd cup of coffee.
Sidetracked imagining a conversation of mine 47 years from now in the old folks home at 106 (106 ? No, not my age, my street address if I buy the house to the south of me thereby allowing my average street address to go back to the original 104 [(106+104+102) / 3] where I am talking about my aunt from South Dakota making a fabulous meal for me once in May 2007 "Yes, she was a very pheasant person, and asparagus, too". I suddenly had these images and sounds of a geriatric Dustin Hoffman in the movie "Little Big Man", a 1970 movie which I never really saw, only a snippet of video probably during my cinematographic studies of 2007.
A musical moment with the dog. After I got out of bed I spent some quality time with Cooper performing this mainly instrumental (did he really mean heavy 'meNtal' music???) piece where I use my dog as a percussion instrument and mix in some sounds, usually going for a vocal combo of Louis Armstrong, Ray Charles, and Jimmy Durante with a touch of gangsta rap/hip hop/boy band/Moron Tableknuckle Choir. Every once in a while I stop with my hands frozen in mid-air and question the dog, "whats the next line? [pause] Oh yeah" and continue....he just loves it!
Decided to try performing and filming a "Thumb Sync/Finger Sync" version of my hands performing Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D Major, one of my favorite pieces of music. See next paragraph for more explanation or previous paragraph depending on whether you followed my advice to read this note/blog backwards. Of course, I meant backwards one paragraph at a time, so if you made it this far and you were doing it one word at a time, I am sorry for giving you a dyslexic-illogically induced headache.
I remembered a piece I wrote just before I went to sleep where I demonstrated how difficult it is to keep one thumb perfectly still, while moving all the fingers and other thumb very fast, and then stop and switch stationary thumbs, and resume. [9 - 1], then [1 - 9], thumbs out to the side. There. See? That's difficult. (Just for Brandon: 'Those aren't spirit fingers; THESE are spirit fingers')
I woke up
SUMO: Helped my wife put a protective broad white band around her middle portion to provide post-abdominal operation support, only she looked like a sumo wrestler when we got finished. Then after she sat down I had to go through the motions of a S. Wrestler in the ring, sparring with an invisible partner, throwing the salt around, hands on my knees, complete with a "sumimasen" (excuse me) and a "domo arigato" (thank you very much) and some other Japanese I don't remember now because there was just too too much laughter interspersed.
Socked my wife. Socked my dog. Those are two completely different things and involve only a smattering of violent behavior, mostly from the dog. I helped my wife put on her socks, and just as soon as Cooper saw me fixing to do this, he saunters over and kinda stands there "playing dumb", ready to play one of our favorite games. Quick as a bunny, I take a sock (always clean, of course!) and cover up his eyes and try to hold it in place for 8 seconds (rodeo connection to mychildhood?) while he growls and tries to get away and bite the sock portion that covered his eyes, and I'm trying to make the same exact growling noises only louder than him. Of course, he naturally comes back for more....
The last thing I was doing as the machine Café do Senhor was making the last of his "hot water is still passing over the ground coffee" noises, was trying to find my coffee cup insulator because the house keep/rearranger had been there the day before.
Talking Korean Cow. In Korean with English subtitles. I know, I was as surprised as you. I was walking across the living room when suddenly I saw the last half of a TV commercial with a talking cow. Now I have seen plenty of talking cow commercials, but I am linguistically stopped in my tracks. The cow is talking in Korean with English subtitles. The cow lives in Korea (South probably) and would like to come to California where happy cows live and she would like for the viewers to vote for her in a contest at somethingsomething.com so she can come to America. So I asked my wife if she was watching something recorded from the DVR, and she said no, so I had to take the extra time to rewind the live broadcast to record that little segment. And watch the Kohler toilet commercial right before the Korean Cow where these spies are trying to find a place to hide something, but are foiled by the design of the toilet, extremely modern toilet. The spies were speaking in FRENCH with English words at the bottom of the screen! So I have transcribed the dialogue for you:
[Cancel Korean transcribing]
I helped my wife with her meds. She has gone from sharp pain to soreness, so that's a good sign.
I started working on a title for a blog in MySpace. I came up with:
"Up, Up and Away, By Trebuchet, My Trebuchet"
I am sure you can figure out what the musical tune that goes with those words without me telling you otherwise it would just, please, delay my 2nd cup of coffee.
Sidetracked imagining a conversation of mine 47 years from now in the old folks home at 106 (106 ? No, not my age, my street address if I buy the house to the south of me thereby allowing my average street address to go back to the original 104 [(106+104+102) / 3] where I am talking about my aunt from South Dakota making a fabulous meal for me once in May 2007 "Yes, she was a very pheasant person, and asparagus, too". I suddenly had these images and sounds of a geriatric Dustin Hoffman in the movie "Little Big Man", a 1970 movie which I never really saw, only a snippet of video probably during my cinematographic studies of 2007.
A musical moment with the dog. After I got out of bed I spent some quality time with Cooper performing this mainly instrumental (did he really mean heavy 'meNtal' music???) piece where I use my dog as a percussion instrument and mix in some sounds, usually going for a vocal combo of Louis Armstrong, Ray Charles, and Jimmy Durante with a touch of gangsta rap/hip hop/boy band/Moron Tableknuckle Choir. Every once in a while I stop with my hands frozen in mid-air and question the dog, "whats the next line? [pause] Oh yeah" and continue....he just loves it!
Decided to try performing and filming a "Thumb Sync/Finger Sync" version of my hands performing Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D Major, one of my favorite pieces of music. See next paragraph for more explanation or previous paragraph depending on whether you followed my advice to read this note/blog backwards. Of course, I meant backwards one paragraph at a time, so if you made it this far and you were doing it one word at a time, I am sorry for giving you a dyslexic-illogically induced headache.
I remembered a piece I wrote just before I went to sleep where I demonstrated how difficult it is to keep one thumb perfectly still, while moving all the fingers and other thumb very fast, and then stop and switch stationary thumbs, and resume. [9 - 1], then [1 - 9], thumbs out to the side. There. See? That's difficult. (Just for Brandon: 'Those aren't spirit fingers; THESE are spirit fingers')
I woke up
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