Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.



Goodbye Old Friends ..OR.. My Wife Made Me Throw Away Gold

After a year and a half I finaLLy wore out my Vibram Fivefingers Komodo Sport toe shoes.

My wife actuaLLy forced me to throw the old ones away!

So ... now I have a new pair of Black & Blue ones to replace the Black, Grey & Gold.

The old ones stiLL felt marvelous, they just had a "few" holes.

Holes are slightly incompatible with winter & wives.

I love being a Vibram shoe salesman.

So I took them for a walk in the park almost immediately. But I decided to take a chicken for a walk in the park too.

By chicken, of course, I meant that I had to stop at the diner just a few blocks away from the park to have a griLLed chicken sandwich with bacon.

While I was at the diner I told Shannon the owner that I had applied for a job far away. It was a technician job operating a scanning electron microscope. I told her that I probably wouldn't get the job or even an interview. Then I remembered that I had read an article about a guy who built his own electron microscope.

Normally these things cost a whole bunch of money.

Shannon asked me what would I need an electron microscope for?!?!? I eXplained that I had just read the article and didn't have any immediate plans to build one.

If you google "Build your own electron " ... then microscope shows up as the first item on the drop down box. 

So after my walk in the park I decided that I deserved a treat: chocolate

I headed to Wal-Mart to buy a 6 pack of Hershey's milk chocolate bars.

When I got out of the truck I realized I only had eXactly 4 dollars because the shorts I have on have these horribly long pockets that go aLL the way to the bottom, so anything in the pocket bounces on my knees as I walk, a terrible feeling. I also had bought them long ago at Wal-Mart. I thought, surely 4 dollars should buy me chocolate.

I was wrong.

The price was $3.94, which made me happy until I realized I would probably have to pay sales tax which would be 32 cents, so I was going to be short and 100 yards away from my truck!

The state of Texas usuaLLy doesn't charge tax on groceries, food items, but they have weird rules about how things are packaged which determine the tax or no tax rule.

So I ask the man stocking the candy aisle if he can help me cover my potential tax. We are laughing at me begging for coins. He only has 21 cents which I promise to pay back. He tells me the ladies at the service desk might be able to help me with the rest.

I go to the service desk and eXplain my situation and they (two of them) smile and start digging their change out. So they give me enough to cover the tax AND give me the 21 cents back so that I can reimburse the stocker of the candy aisle, which I returned immediately.


Shelly said...

Your wife is a wise woman. I also have to insist sometimes my husband gets rid of his very old shoes. Glad you found the money for the tax- just goes to show lots of people are still willing to help if they are approached the right way.

esbboston said...

Shelly, I added a smaLL piece to the story after you read it about a conversation with the diner owner. Yes, people are veRy giving in Texas, especiaLLy rural Texas.

Rob Z Tobor said...

I have several pairs of very old converse trainers. Due to mashed up feet I can only wear trainers. I find that they only really get truly comfortable when they are battered and full of holes. The point at which we are told to throw them away, I keep mine and always say that once the new pair are as comfortable as he old pair I will throw the old pair out but that only happens when the new pair are battered and full of holes....

Are you planning to move far away from your favourite diner and look at it through an electron microscope in an effort to make it look closer. I always fancied making a homemade radio telescope

esbboston said...

Rob, I doubt veRy seriously that I would ever get an interview. This particular company has a tendency to reject me in a wide variety of ways. So I wiLL keep on studying biochemistry for now and see where that leads me. The electron microscope job is east of here, so it would make my trip to Wales be maybe 10% shorter, plus I would be a little closer to my mother.

esbboston said...

I checked the distance and It would be about 8% of the way to Wales. So if I continue to get more jobs farther east at about the same rate, I could be in Wales after about 12 jobs. I am assuming the jobs in the north Atlantic would involve fishing or hunting nuclear submarines. The diner is smaLL enough that I could probably buy/steal it and bring it with me. Say, there is an idea, I just uproot the diner and move it down the road! I would just need a steady supply of chicken, bacon and buns. Then when I get to the coast, find a barge to put it on....

Rob Z Tobor said...

You could get the diner to supply online . . . .sort of Heat and Eat.

Ooo I have come up with a catchy sales tag there.

12 jobs sounds like a lot of work to me (that is not the catchy sales tag)

Badger said...

I would just hide my shoes in the cupboard and wear them when Cate was not around.

esbboston said...

Badger: I made the mistake of showing my old Vibrams to my wife while I was at our store, so then the other hairdressers chimed in with her too making fun of me. It was terrible! I just drowned my sorrows in the chicken sandwich ...

esbboston said...

I am reaLLy hoping for closer to zer0 jobs in my future ....

Marianne said...

I've never seen that..uh..footwear.

I tried throwing something away of my husband's years ago. His response?

"That was from my MOM" (now deceased).

Now I have to do a dead-mom check before tossing anything.

esbboston said...

Rob: I tried to leave a comment just now on your blog, but it told me that comments are restricted to blog members.

esbboston said...

I saw your note on today's blog post about only followers of your blog can leave comments, but I believe you have it set restrictive so that only members of your blog can leave comments. I think this means co-authors. I tried just now to leave a comment on your blog and I can't.

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