Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2013-02-19

This Old Microwave

To support the glass breakage cleanup after the meteor shattered the 49 acres of windows in Chelyabinsk Russia, I plan to drink a glass of vodka.

My plan is to slowly become more Russian. But Tito's Handmade Vodka is from Austin Texas USA, so Raustin (Ростин)?

A friend responded "Russians understand that anything imported is better than what they have, so that's perfect!"

My response: I wonder if they feel that way about водка and икра.

Same friend responds: "Now, even their rocks are imported."

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How you can teLL you have been married too long: When you say something to your spouse and you can teLL by their reaction that they have misunderstood you AND you already know the incorrect interpretation they think they heard. Does this make sense? If not, let me start over ....

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Here is a sad story

My wife got eXcited when she saw something new growing by one of our pineapple plants. 

I explained to her that it was just a weed.

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My wife ate aLL my smaLL Snickers, but she replaced them with a large bag of even SMALLer Snickers. I think it would be possible to make Snickers smaller than this, but they would have to change the name to Snicker.

I think Snickers could eXist in an even smaLLer form factor, but then they would most likely be in vapor form and highly combustible.

Do you know what is in the middle of a Snickers? ---ck---

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Today's Question: what can I make out of my dead microwave oven?

My Favorite Lawyer responded:   A step stool

A Washington state friend: A dog house for a tiny dog

From me: A bow tanker

From me: Donate the glass plate to Badger from Vienna, as the glass plate of his microwave oven committed suicide this morning.

I need more ideas, please.
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10 comments:

Rob Z Tobor said...

Hello Mr ESB

http://margo.student.utwente.nl/el/microwave/

It it is very dead them maybe you could turn it into a mailbox or a snickers container

esbboston said...

Rob: Or both at the same time! My postman might enjoy a tiny snack of Snickers, or "snackers".

Pearl said...

:-) I like Rob's idea of turning it into a snickers container.

Pearl

esbboston said...

Pearl: If its going to be a Snickers container I could paint it so it looked like a giant Snicker candy wrapper. Then putting a mailbox flag on the side of it would reaLLy confuse the postal people.

Badger said...

Cate loves horse radish vodka when she goes to Moscow

Badger said...

I like the last idea best - but you still have a dead microwave

esbboston said...

Badger: I am stiLL deciding whether I like vodka or not. I need to try mixing it with other things. The guy who makes Tito's says he uses 6 distillation steps. Any less leaves icky stuff behind and any more takes away flavor. But I have spent some time around distillation columns in the petrochemical industry and I know that there is a wide variety of ways to make a still, pack it, etc. So to just say six is a magic number, hmmmm.

I haven't bought a new microwave oven yet, so I am reheating things with more difficulty and creating more dirty dishes than normal. So, it appears that a microwave oven can save a bunch of money and time. I wonder how much it would cost to mail my glass turntable piece to Austria(?). It has a diameter of 32.4 cm and three bumps on the bottom middle where it connects to the motor shaft.

esbboston said...

Badger: I calculated the UPS charge to get the plate to Austria, and had a range between $130 and $145.

Garry Ladouceur said...

just curious since i read this book called hawaii by michener. it spent a lot of time describing the raising of pineapple plants.

i wonder if you have read this book. it also speaks of bananas but there are no russians in the book so maybe this is not the best time to raise this book.

it seems that pineapples need a lot of iron. honest. this is what michener wrote... and water which was another issue in the book, i.e. how the protaganists solved the water issue.

so my question is, have you got like iron soil or did you order some from hawaii. i heard somewhere that in america, you coul pretty well order what you like on the internet.

esbboston said...

Garry: I have not read that book. I have not heard about the iron need of pineapples, I should probably check it out. I just give them rain water and sometimes a little fertilizer that is designed for tomatoes simply because that is what I had on had. I also recycle any dead leaves back into the soil. I currently have eight pineapple plants. Most of them grow in Folger's coffee plastic cans but I am slowly moving them into larger containers. The oldest plant has two new ones growing out of it so it most likely needs more soil.

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