A Point

We have reached a point in history 

where one party has the evidence

and the other party has the ever dunce

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Blogger shows that (maybe) one person from Germany read over 300 of my posts in one day, yesterday. It would be interesting to know if this was something that really happened or just some computer playing some unknown game with my blog. If you are a real human, please leave me a comment, thanks.

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Be thankful for younger people.

The older me of today thanks the younger me of yesterday for having the wisdom to have the coffee pot cleaned up and filled with water every morning.

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Actually, I am waiting for the squid pro quo.

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I am expecting phone calls from my children today because it's National Fossil Day (Oct 16th)

Sadly, I didn't get any ..... (Oct 17th)

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Dream 2019.10.06

So in my dream last night I was being robbed at gun point by a man. He demanded my wallet. I told him, pointing at my car, “I drive a 30 year old car and have a part time job as a janitor, how much €#]*\¥ money do you think I have?!?!?”

He asked me, “What year model is that car?” and I said 1998, and he paused and then said, “That’s not 30 years(?).” and I responded, “Okay, so I’m not good with numbers either.”

He felt sorry for me and pulled out a $10 bill and gave it to me. And I responded, “Is that all?!?!?” He paused and gave me another 10, and left.

When I got back in my car I opened my bulging wallet that had exactly 1000 dollars in it, and put the money he gave me with it, and said, “Good, now I have one thousand and 30 dollars.”

Saving Private Susie

I have been working on three projects. I didn't mean to, it was just a de-painting job at first, but then an "emergency" insulating project interrupted the de-painting before I could even start the painting, and then The Wife begged me to help her with a display case refinishing project. Three large cases. The third project of the display cases involved heavy object moving and straining, but at least I was off the ladder, The Up & Down, of the first two projects.

I teLL you aLL that to let you know that by earlier this afternoon my left leg had joined the right in a pain revolt. A charlie-horse had bothered the right leg through the previous night of little sleep.

I was in the middle of buying lumber and decided to go home for some ibuprofen and maybe coffee, and an ice water refiLL. Cooper needed me by then as weLL.

So I laid down on my bed with the iPad propped on the night stand with Cooper snuggled at my feet, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing and the ibuprofen to do its molecular magic. I had no intention of visiting dreamland, but I did while journeying-journaling through Wall Street on the iPad.

So the dream begins as I am going to see my best friend Susie. I drive to her country "estate" to help her with her bionic leg devices, something akin to the movie "Iron Man", only simpler, just legs. There is actuaLLy nothing wrong with Susie's legs in the real world.

She is eXcited to get her leg-so-skeletons but part way through the fitting & adjusting process a wasp lands on the side of her head in the temple region. It is searching for a place to driLL and for some reason I can not get Susie's attention, she keeps talking, my arms seem powerless to lift, to move, to shoo the inject-insect away. FinaLLy the anger is building up and I start huffing and puffing Three Little Pigs style, and I interrupt and irritate the injecter-insecter, and he stares back scowling at me and it seems I can read his mind, he is not happy. Then it appears he is fixing to launch and I can sense he is headed my way!

FinaLLy I build up aLL my strength and simultaneously say veRy BAD BAD words, and I take a swing to eject the insect from Susie's head.

In the real world my fist collides with the iPad and it lands face down on the bedroom carpet. But it is not a boxing knock-out, because suddenly a woman's voice is talking on the iPad. Yes, in the real world I hear a woman's voice coming from the floored device and I sit up on the side of my bed and crack up laughing. In aLL this commotion Cooper has not moved. He just looks at me wide eyed wondering. What is happening to my Ernie, why the violence, the cursing?!?!?

The Wall Street Journal app just h-app-ened to be open to a story about colleges setting up a "good-bye buffer station" to make the child-parent departing process easy and fast, emphasis on getting the parents to leave. My fist just happened to punch the button to start the video interview of Sanette Tanaka, Wall Street Journal reporter. ActuaLLy it was the louder woman in the interview that I first heard, but I couldn't find her identity.

Once I had my coffee cup fiLLed, I caLLed Susie to teLL her about my dream. I told her I had been busy saving her life. She thought it was interesting, and that I have the wildest dreams. She also asked about what meds I was on, but I told her just ibuprofen, just two tablets.

At The Same Laugh-i-tude

So I am in Dreamscape.

I am inventing martial art fighting techniques.

I developed this reaLLy cool movement where I am doing, then perfecting, the timing of a galloping approach to an imaginary opponent whereby I am moving faster than normal, but the sound of my bare feet landing simultaneously on the grass appears to be slower than a normal pace, to confuse the opponent. I am a blended combination of Bruce Lee, Henry Rollins and me.

Everything is fairly quiet.

I am alone.

Suddenly my friend comes out of what is s'pposed to be a house but it is located in the town I finished high school and the building is the drug store on Main Street that is reaLLy a restaurant/cafe now, and stiLL caLLed The Drug Store.

I am in the street to the northeast of the house/drug store/cafe and he is yeLLing at me. "Why were you not inside watching me sleep? I need you to watch me sleep so that you wiLL know how to sleep and learn to sleep better! Why weren't you watching me?"

I respond, "I know how to sleep"

He continues yeLLing, never reaLLy slowing down so you thought it looked like that because you thought he asked a question and then paused for me to give an answer but there never was a pause only two voices, "... You need to watch me very closely ... No, you don't know how to sleep, I know, but you don't know, you just think you know."

His yeLLing noise goes on for a long time. He yeLLs the same thing four different ways repeatedly, ad noise-ium.

In Realscape it is Father's Day 2012 and there is no yeLLing or martial arts. There was pizza. The dog was eXtra grumbly, a very mild form of canine yeLLing, because the pizza was delivered slightly late. But of course it needed to be delivered late because you have to aLLow them eXtra time to OVERcook your pizza, which of course I did not desire OR ask for .... ... .. .

One son is far away but strangely he is almost slightly closer than normal by being at the same latitude as me for several weeks. He normaLLy lives much farther north. He is forced to be telephoneless by his employer for several days while camping. It sounds strange but he has a strange job, even stranger employer who I hate. I hate The Isolation. I am pretty sure I wiLL not get a phone caLL from him today. A few days ago I discovered the same-latitude thing about my son, and I asked my wife if that was any comfort to her knowing that her son was straight west of us. A strange look of semi-confusion developed on her face. Her answer was no.

As a math project I might calculate how many miles closer he is than normal.

This is my first year to have my step-father gone on Father's Day. I caLLed my mother today. We had a better chat, happier than yesterday's chat. I told her that the state of Texas didn't mangle my name on my new driver's license like they did seven years ago when I legaLLy added my fourth name. Then we talked about several things before she accidentaLLy caLLed me by my step-father's name as we were trying to say goodbye, and then sadly flustered with a laugh, she next mistakenly caLLed me by my brother's name who lives close to her, and then she reaLLy laughed, and I laughed. But then she suddenly remembered something.

She told me that my brother greets her on the telePhone at the beginning of conversations with almost the eXact same phrasing that I do, taken from the title of a children's book, "Are You My Mother?", and then she very carefuLLy slowly said goodbye using aLL four of my legal names.

Salvador Dalí Designed My Steering Wheel

Dream: In my truck you can remove the steering wheel to use it for other purposes but you are left with a somewhat functional limp droopy hologram version of a steering wheel. I tried driving the 18 wheeler (Freightliner, of course) with the virtual steering wheel but it proved too dangerous and difficult.

I never got around to figuring out what the other uses were for the detached real steering wheel other than it was a popular/common occurance to see all the other truck drivers in the restaurant with their steering wheel laying on their tables. Maybe there will be a follow up dream to explain the unanswered questions in my mind.

I was a safe driver. I only drove with the unreliable virtual steering wheel for a brief time period and didn't have an accident.

It was odd that I had the wrong Freightliner model in my dream. It was my favorite one, their smallest M2 Business Class with four full doors, which isn't used in eighteen-wheeler combinations.

Extra: I found out that today is supposedly International Monty Python Awareness Day. I think it would be fitting for Monty Python Awareness Day to be plural in nature, "Days", where it is celebrated in only one country on any given day of the year, and every country has to have a designated MPAD, including NorKor, from "The Committee Who Assigns". There could be Python Pilgrimages that snake from country-to-country and people could dress up in medieval costumes complete with coconuts for transportation.

Extra Extra: I popped a Wint-O-Green Life Savers mint in my mouth just seconds before someone called. He asked me to confirm the receipt of his e-mail so that I could respond with some business info. BUT when I tried to read the details on the screen my tongue was overcome by the heavy mint flavor and I messed up and told him, "Sorry I am being 'mint'-ally challenged today with my speaking"

Dream Link: The Next Dream in My Blog

An Ibuprophen, A Tylenol and An Advil Walk Into A Bar-rier

Strrrange Dream:

My ex-boss gives me an ibuprophen, Tylenol, and Advil at the same time.

I begin choking on them.

He doesn't notice.

I quote fix unquote myself.

I notice a fourth pill.

"What iz thiz oze?"

"Which oze?"

"Thiz oze?"

"I don't kzow, juzt take all of them"

"Okay"

I don't choke the next time.

This time he notices that I don't choke and mentions it.

(Yes, the letter 's' and 'n' were rotated in some places in the lines of dialogue in my dream. Maybe it was because I was asleep, "zzzzz", ???, who knows. The particular ex-boss in this dream is actually a very nice person and would never hurt me. I didn't mention his name on purpose.)

Dream Link: The Next Dream in My Blog

I am a Lion Man for the County

I posted a Facebook status of my dreamscape:

Had a strange dream. Lots of tiny rocks in my drinking water.

My friend asked if it meant that I had kidney stones.

I thought, "That would be handy, a look-up table that tied strange dreams to medical diagnoses." So I created these ones, which are probably extremely accurate.

Dream: Birds Suddenly Appear Every Time You Are Near But They Don't Want To Be Close To You because you appear to have insect bites all over your body

Medical Problem: Careening Carpenter Ant Bites

Dream: Lug Nuts Keep Falling Off Your Car and you look like Englebert Humperdink only you are compressed vertically to 4' 7"

Medical Problem: You have a cold (I know, it doesn't make sense to me either)

Dream: I am a Lion Man for The County and I drive all over the Maine roads.

Medical Problem: You don't have anything wrong, but several people in Maine have been turned into Purina Lion Food because you are not very good at your job.

Dream: You have a repeat dream with the "lug nuts" only this time you get it right and you look like B. J. Thomas and you are stretched to 7' 4"

Medical Problem: You have pneumonia (now it makes perfect sense, well, compared to the original version) 

Don't worry, I will probably add more "Dream/Medical Problem" combos in the future. Somebody has to keep winning Nobel Prizes in Medicine AND Writing Fiction and it may as well be me, say, I wonder if I would get two for this one article, as it stretches across both medal categories?

Now something for the real world:

Wikipedia Article: Where There Is No Doctor

Being Married To Two Thirds of The Dixie Chicks Is A Dream Job

[ I finally decided to publish this after waiting almost two years ]

February 11th, 2008

I had the strangest, most elaborate dream of my entire life last night. I was living with 2 out of 3 of The Dixie Chicks, in the same house, a giant house and there were tons of children and several episodes in the dream.

There were even mad mother-in-laws, crude robotic machines that swept the floors, and failed attempts at trying to take a shower (it was always filled). None of the children were mine and practically all of them didn't like me.

The third Dixie Chick (the banjo player) actually lived in the same house, but I didn't have a marriage relationship with her like I did the other two. I don't even know the names of the Dixie Chicks! I know that in real life the lead singer is from Lubbock, Texas, where the dream took place.

There were picture albums. We spent time looking at photo albums together.

The entire dream took place inside or near the house EXCEPT there was an accompanying segment of the dream where I parked my car (the exact Lincoln Town car I have in real life) in an empty lot instead of leaving it in the street, near a convenience store. The street was a wide multi-lane east-west passageway in Lubbock, south of the loop.

Someone contacted me about my car, and I was warned that I had 24 hours to get my car or it would be towed away. But when I got there in plenty of time there were several vehicles and people fixing to tow my car. I had an argument with them but then I think I was recognized as "The Dixie Chick Guy" and they let me have my car for $385.

I had also lost my personal organizer in the dream, and was frustrated about that. I was married to the Dixie Chick who is the main singer and also the one who plays the fiddle. Their mothers looked like aged versions of them in my dream.

The passageways in part of the house were very narrow.

What prompted this dream? I had watched a small portion of one music video 'Cowboy Take Me Away' as I was flipping channels. Obviously I am their cowboy of choice. Later when I sent this dream recording to my second pen pal in Washington, there was a little bit more that I had not sent to my first pen pal in Texas:

No one in the house smoked. There was a separate office area under a large patio area where the business people worked and they all smoked, and there was falling water in several places and devices to keep the place cool. The people in the office area all liked me.

There was one time where I kissed the lead singer on the cheek because she was undergoing some medical procedure, and headed to the doctor's office. She looked rather pale.

Oh, I almost forgot, there were some free fiddle lessons as well.

So if they ever decide to write a song called: "Robotic Cowboy Sweep Me Off My Feet", I already have a music video idea for them.

Off to make breakfast in the real world....

Wanna Buy A Watch?

Do you know what it feels like to be totally crushed beyond belief, relief, grief, and at the mercy of some shameless nameless faceless thief? Well, that isn't me at the moment. But the morning is young.

So hows your day? Is it anything like the "dream-day" I had where you get in a fight with someone who rips your arm off and then they proceed to beat you with it as a weapon, just whippin' the snot out of you with your own arm, and then sudDENly, they get a bright idea.

"See this watch? ,,, Like it?" and they are showing me the watch, my watch, on my detached limb.

"I'll sell you this watch right now at half its normal selling price on eBay if you call this fight off (which, by the way, they, of course, had started!), and sign this document promising to never fight with me again, and never tell anybody about what happened to your arm, deal?" - and he holds out my arm to shake to make the deal. At that point I notice that my arm has my watch AND my ring.

That was my day.

That was my entire weakend.

That was my weak.


Those were not typos.

Terror Infirma

Terror Infirma

I thought my inner core was cracked. 

Then I found out it was really molten. 

Iron. 

Molten iron. 

And spinning. 

And HUGE. 

And it was creating a magnetic field that caused beautiful glowing lights dancing at my feet and head. 

Cool. 

I noticed my glowing feet and head were cool. 

Then I woke up. 

Oh, I was dreaming I was the earth. 

Again.

POETRY LINK: The Next Poem in My Blog

Bang! It's Early Friday Morning and Ernest is Getting Stoned

This is my second letter to my pen-pal friend this morning.

Just as soon as I stepped outside I remembered some somniac maniac things I forgot to tell you in the first letter. (It appears that "somniac" is not a real word according Ms. Spill Chicker, so here right now it means the opposite of insomniac, new word, 5 points). I had 2 strange vivid knock you right awake dreams last night. The first (I think so) one was about a guy throwing rocks at me. He was blond. The first few rocks were kind of in my general direction, then one went whizzing by my left cheek, grazing it. I was behind some trees. I hollered at him to be careful and other "things" and he was surprised, but he was trying to impress some girls around him and started mouthing off and taunting me, and I returned the verbal, and I am pretty sure we fought a little and then police got involved.

Flip pillows over, maybe that will help. Snore....snooze.....(maybe I will only dream about unicorns this time, nice unicorns, pretty unicorns)

The second dream is a short one where my dog is in the middle of the backyard and yelped but he has something in his mouth so it is a bit of a muffled yelp, and he won't let go of it, and IT is a snake that won't let go of him either. Ying&Yang,Cling&Fang - There is a WWF struggle momentarily, WolfWrestlingFangs. Then a loud non-dog non-snake like noise 'bang' and I wake in a jerking motion.