No Longer

I walk into a hotel to spend the night far from home.

Back again after being gone eXactly 2,121 days.

Suddenly as the secure keyed entrance door behind me closes I remember that the last time I was here, in this building, there was a big party for friends and family. There was one friend who I felt was as close to me as family, someone that I thought was going to be my adopted-adapted daughter forever. But in less than a year later we became estranged. And I don't know why. It seemed a one sided departure.

So now I can't sleep with this recurring unanswered question gnawing again restless in my brain.

I laugh quietly when I think about how much I am paying for this rented pillow of no comfort, no sleep, while I type away, inserting this sentence back down much later into the middle of this stream of thoughts. This rented pillow hurts my ear with a stiffness and each little move makes a popping noise, dull popping, almost cracking muffled, in my left ear.

Now as I continue to type this I also realize that I danced at that party in the room nearly above me with a different woman, a relative, that I no longer care for. Why? I feel very strongly since that party she killed her husband, a man very important to me. But Oklahoma doesn't seem to agree with me on the cause of death.

So now I can't sleep with this recurring unanswered question gnawing again restless in my brain.

I can no longer lay here awake in slight ear pain, pillow induced, dry mouth, so its time to eXchange dry rectangular pieces of paper for a very cold Dr Pepper in a vending machine and retrieve the pillow that I remember is in the wife's vehicle.

Then I started thinking about my own death if it happened suddenly. No one knows my password to get into blogger. Comments are unpostable without review. So how would anyone out there in [just] blogland know that I was no longer alive? I guess my closest blog friends wouldn't get replies from e-mails either, if they tried. Hmmm. Interesting question. So "hear" is kind of an answer. You probably noticed that I write at least once a month, so if you don't see a blog post after a 30 day gap, most likely I am in a coma or dead. So with that out of the way, I am off to get that Dr Pepper, finaLLy no longer typing after eXactly 59 minutes ... ... ...

Update: After being gone a mere 21 minutes I am back to add a new twist. My left fingers are managing my beverage control while the right fingers are no longer completely their natural color, but have taken on an orange glow of Doritos while the right thumb types this entire paragraph to minimize the amount of nacho cheese makes it onto the touch screen of my iPad. Yes! I am just that talented!

Here is the real twist: When I got out of bed, after writing the "59 minutes ... ... ..." two paragraphs ago there was an info-mmercial playing on teleBision. We generaLLy have a muted teleBision for a night light in our bedroom. We are used to having a mine field of doggie treats and toys to avoid with our toes. So what was the product they were seLLing at 1 AM? PiLLows! I had never heard of MyPillow.com before. So I went out to our vehicle to get a piLLow, and the Dr Pepper & Nacho Doritos on the return trip. Thank you to the inventor of the vending machine.

Now, if you want to know my level of UN-talent, right after I finished typing the end of that paragraph "just that talented!", I decided to finish off the final crumbs in the Doritos mini vending pouch of goodness by pouring them directly into my gaping open mouth.

Think hippos feeding in the dark.

DON'T try this at home, boys and girls, and burros!

Just as I was rotating my body to get those last few orange corn crumbs, the final two or three fluid ounces of a somewhat cold yet fuLLy wet Dr Pepper came flying out landing on my left ear, head, shoulder, and sadly, most sadly of aLL, the piLLow that I had just brought in from the vehicle.

I am no longer sleeping on my piLLow.

Hold it, did I say 'sleeping'? ...um.. what sleep?