What's Wrong

Hah! I just figured out what's wrong with my life! I have gone waaaaaay tooooooooo long without listening AND watching Maria Bamford. I just spent 'bout an hour getting re-fill-ed with hilarity, and I plan to B sure to take my vitamen B-amford every day for a while until I get side tracked and forget about her again for a while. Vitamen, no, vital woman, Maria B.

Just search her in YouTube, she is typically wonderful, non-boring.

I haven't found the one called "Me, My Mom, and A Monster" stand up routine just yet, it's one of my favorites.

Do you know what else is wrong, well, at least strange, maybe not so much wrong, but strange? My number two country for blog traffic is Russia. I'm thinking like, Russia, why has Russia suddenly in the last couple of months shot past France as my number two country in traffic, when I don't do many Russian oriented pieces, well, I've done a few, but they were a while ago. Do people in Russia really read me, or is it just phony traffic? If you are from Russia and reading me, send me an e-mail, I would like to have some feedback.

What else is wrong? Motion. I have been spending too much time indoors lately so I have started walking when the weather lets me. It is December. But it is Texas. Sometimes our Decembers are really nice in short chunks, at least during the day. I tried using my treadmill, but it is broken. So I compensate by doing laundry and dishes rea///////lllly fast. Sometimes it scares the Cooper, so then I slow down.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, thinking, anything, else? Hmmmm ... YES!!! Insomnia!!! It's 1:45 AM, I need somnia. At least I have two giant pillows. My wife and I used to each have a giant pillow. But now I have two and she has none. You snooze, you lose. Actually she just forgot about it. How do you forget a giant pillow? I'll buy her another one if she really wants one, I promise. It would be nice if they made pills you could take that would help you go to sleep. They could call them sleeping pills. I bet if someone would invent them, people would buy them. I wonder why no one has thought of sleeping pills before? I have this new trick, called everytime I see a punctuation mark, I close my eyes, silently count to three, reopen my eyes, and continue reading. I will try that trick and see if that helps me go to sleep. It will probably just mess up my reading ability. And mess up my counting ability. People will be like, say, why does Ernest fall asleep so easily when he counts four of something?

Wrong, Wron, Wrong, Wron, Wrong ... some-thing-else, my younger son has been gone toooo long too too far far away but he will be home in a few days for the holidays, so YEA!!! I tell Cooper that he is coming home and show him pictures of my son and his wife, and Cooper gets eXcited, and looks at the front door, hoping it will open. Sometimes he jumps up on the couch and looks out the picture window. Not yet, my furry friend, not quite yet. A few more days, Bubba, a few more days. (That's one of Cooper's nick names, he has a ton of them. Cooper used to be my son's dog a long time ago.)