I devised an ingenius evil plan that has paid back wonderfully on my $75,000 investment.
Plastic surgery.
Plastic surgery, you say?!?!?
Yes, plastic surgery.
I waited until Bill Gates had created his billions AND quit working, then I had myself turned into an almost eXact duplicate of William Henry Gates III.
I refer to myself as Bill Gates, version 3.1
Then I secretly kidnapped the real Bill Gates AND had him surgically enhanced El Plastico, with a minor lobotomy, and he is now a pig farmer in rural southern Idaho.
Hold it, you now say, who is this Ernest Boston that lives in Borger Texas and writes this blog and has a dog Cooper .... its a virtual me.
Bwah hahah-aha-ha ha ha !!!
Update: 2012.02.18 12:45
I just googled the words "Bill Gates Plastic Surgery" and I made it to spot #19 out of 741,000 search results. But when I tried it on a PC to get the "out of number" because my iPad mysteriously doesn't give me that info, then I noticed that I don't show up in the search results, at least not in the top 630, which is the limit that Google will display on my PC. Now you can start your own conspiracy theory about that disappearance!
Ah, I added to the Google search: "Bill Gates Plastic Surgery Pig Farmer", now I am in spots 1 and 2, out of 57,300 results, cool!
Oh, this cool: When I went back and did the search for "Bill Gates Plastic Surgery" sans Pig Farmer after putting that conspiracy theory paragraph online several minutes ago, my blog is now at spot #7 out of 741,000 results, now this is a wild ride.
2012-02-17
The Best $75,000 Dollars I Ever Spent
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14 comments:
That's just dastardly enough to work!!
Pearl
p.s. you have the nasty littel verifications on as well. Can't hardly even read it...
Pearl: Yes, I already have a movie script ready to go! Well, its in my head anyway. Sorry about the Word Verification, I was getting tooooo much spam. I hope they get their system fixed soon, its so irritating. I hope you cat didn't have a hangover. It is trying to be drizzly here today, I checked your weather, looked like a few flakes for you, so be car careful out there today.
Sheesh, 3.1, share the wealth! (Cuz I'm from southern Idaho, and can probably find the original.)
Pearl: I was just checking the weather again in several places and now it doesn't have snow predicted for your part of the world, bizarre. Maybe it was a different Mnnplis Mnnsta.
That just may work, my friend. Mwah ha ha ha!
I have always said there is nothing like a good plan and well mmmmmm I think that is nothing like a good plan. NO I am really sorry Mr ESB I know you are very clever and all that but being Bill Gates is not like Being John Malkovich, no its worse. After all he is reputedly not the happiest sole in the world (that's Bill not John) and you cant pick up an apple or even an apple pie without the worlds press taking pictures. Then almost everyone who bought Microsoft Vista will hate you, and we all know the old saying "The root of all evil is Money". Which is why Mr Gates is working hard to do good stuff in order to avoid a trip to the hot place come The Big E.... but with that much money and Microsoft to your name, well its an up hill struggle.
Anyway the word verification.... us folk on old PCs with a big monitor stuck in a dark damp cave have no problemos
Rob Z T: I can handle the hate knowing that the people reaLLy hate the Pig Farmer without realizing it. I have lotza money to "transform" people into other people, is there anyone you would rather be, as well as have someone replace you?
Gotta love the pig farmer aspect.
fmcgmccllc: Nothing against Pig Farmers in particular. Its just at the moment the person who irritates me the most out of all the humans, that I have dealings with locally, is a pig farmer. And this particular pig farmer appears to have had a lobotomy.
seems a lot to pay for what you need. you can get a really good deal in mexico for a quarter of the price. plastic surgery for face changes etc. are a job requirement in some places these days.
Garry: Thanks for the advice, the neXt time I need some plastic surgery (on other people) I will send them south of The Border. I go to On The Border quite often, but it is a restaurant only a little south and west of me and nowhere close to Mexico.
I always new you where some crazy mastermind...My first clue was your love for cherry cheesecake, All mad geniuses love cherry cheesecake.
Aysh: I should have known that you would find my kryptonite, my weakness! I am sure buried in my blog somewhere at least once is the story of how cherry cheesecake is the key ingredient to how I got married. I was friends with my future wife's aunt, and I gave her cherry cheesecake for a Christmas present in 1981, and then she played matchmaker to us the next month. I also met my future mother-in-law when I delivered the cherry cheesecake Christmas present that day. Magic!
There was a pig farmer on who wants to be a millionaire last night. (I am not sure if it is a rerun in syndication). He made it all the way to the second round, but lost the $100,000 question (which I guessed correctly, had a strong hunch). They brought up someone from the studio audience to try play the very next question, the next question for $250,000 which I knew the correct answer. So I had a good day playing "WWTBAM?" from my couch.
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