Super Hero: Ford Truck Man Saves The Day!

Oh, I just remembered that I went MUCH faster than the 40 mph speed limit yesterday on our main city thoroughfare, Cedar Street, BUT, I was reacting in a superhero manner, as FORD TRUCK MAN

Since I started driving an F-350 last December, I notice trucks.

All of them.

I can usually pick out a Freightliner now at very great distances.

Well, today I was at an intersection of Cedar waiting to go north and an electric utility company truck with a tool bed chassis drives by at 40 mph headed south with a completely OPEN toolbox door! There was no telephone booth to change into my Superman outfit, so I zoom out into traffic and my turbocharged Power Stroke 6.0 liter V8 diesel steed catches up to them in three blocks. My horn causes them to slow down and the driver rolls down his window as I yell out, "your door is open", pointing, and they stop suddenly IN traffic to close it and then I keep going. I wonder if my electric bill will be lower next month, (wink)?

All in a days work for FTM.

So I went south a couple blocks to turn around to get back downtown to our business. But the next thing I saw on the journey north in my rear view mirror two blocks later was a Borger city police car tail-gating me! I thought, "Oh, no, am I getting a speeding ticket?!?!?" AND he just kept getting closer, so I pulled over into the gas station but luckily the cop kept right on going. No lights, no siren.

My super hero secret identity is safe for now ...

Ruin Jesse Ruin

I've always wondered what was wrong with Jesse Jackson, and my first answer has usually been to borrow half of a line by Cameron Poe from the movie 'Con Air', "a lot". But now I learned that he is in love with former United States President Lyndon Baines Johnson. That takes it to a whole new level of _____ .

My _____ was meant to eXpress my lack of just the right word, searching for a mix of bizarre, flabbergasted - basically, JesJac couldn't you find a better role model? I had just -TRIED- to read the wikipedia article on LBJ less than a week ago, and for the three letters LBJ that stand for his 19 letter name, I think his 24 year congressional career condenses down to a single 5 letter word "bully".

The Dog Whisper Error

I slapped this on my Facebook status because we had to make a side journey from the restaurant, delaying my dog's already late supper:

Cooper, if you can read this, Daddy will be home in just a little bit, I know you are probably hungry. Love you a bunches!!!!

‎[I crack mysELF up at times]

My close wonderful friend told me: Well, you are always funny! But let's talk about this extremely well trained and tech savy dog Cooper...do I need to call the dog whisperer and tell him he's got nothing on YOU!!

My Response: The D.W., he has ab-so-lute-ly nuffin' on me, because he goes for the authoritarian, "I am the boss of my dog and he's gonna learn that or else" and I go the opposite direction and most of the time the dog gets his way eXcept, logically, for when I'm having my morning coffee. He can wait a few minutes for me to get properly caffeinated and spin up to my proper mental RPM's. We talk, a lot. and play, and share lotza food goodies, mmm Ernie eats, mmm, Cooper eats! But the key word of my status was the second word "if", haha, of course he can't read my status, at least I'm pretty sure he can't. (?)

Dogs can be much more eXpensive than a prescription of anti-depressant medicine, but they [dogs, not pills] are far more effective, with better side effects.

A Few Good Amends

One of my graduate school friends was debating about adding something new to an almost finished piece of writing. Serious school writing. So I borrowed some Jack Nick dialogue from a movie and re-worked it for her entertainment:

Son, we live in a world that has articles, and those articles have to be guarded by men with erasers. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Whine-butt? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the paragraph you had a little while ago, and you curse the merged lines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not remembering what I remember. That "What-you-had-a-little-while-ago's" death, while tragic, probably saved lines. And my grad school existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lines. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like on-time, co-ed, 'go get me a chai tea'. We use these words as the backbone of a semester spent upending, I mean, appending something. You use them as a trash can liner. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very verbosity that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "I think like you", and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Bik Wite-Out, and revise a post. Either way, I don't give a d@mn what you think you are entitled to. 

Bobcats Eat Facebooq Dreams (Oh, Sorry, I Forgot The Commas)

When you have dreams about bobcats eating your baby's ears (while they are supposedly being protected in the neonatal nursery at the hospital) its probably time to rethink your choices for supper, or go ahead and blame it on Facebooq changing itself.

Don't worry, my children are safe, in their mid twenties with all their 2x2 ears intact.

I just saw an advertisement for OnStar on a web page with the three letters FMV, so it has "OnStar FMV". I'm not sure that was a wise choice for letters, knowing what other things there are floating around that begin with FM.

Time for a quick break for a public service announcement:

Happy 50th Birthday Peace Corps!!!

My mentor in high school who got me interested/motivated to pursue good grades and go to college was a former Peace Corp volunteer. I already knew that I wanted to be a chemist in 9th grade but he gave me the extra push I needed. Thank you, George S.

I am going to protest against Facebooq by signing off for three minutes! That should get their attention and show them who's boss. (I had an amusing typo in that sentence, I originally had "singing" instead of "signing". I am not eXactly sure what "singing off" would be, but I do feel very confident that "singing on" is its opposite, but again, no daffy-nition for that one either.)

My cousin asked: Maybe we should all sign off together at a cetain time for so long of a time and that will wake them up, huh?

My Response: I think it would be cooler if everyone signed off eXcept me.  -Me.-  The only person on Facebooq. Outta 700 bazillion peeps.

Fundamentally its quite simple for Facebook to make people happier. Being a computer scientist who dealt with database systems, I know that Facebook consists of basically two parts: A user interface and a database of information

They could easily present a new version of their human interface to people while allowing anyone who wants to remain at their current version to stay put. 

So the next group that decides to build the next great MySpaceboogle Plus just might want to consider that as a fundamental business model philosophy rule guideline. I would build it, their system is a giant MySQL database with some fancy improvements but I'm too tired and sore from climbing ladders this week for two days. Besides, I don't want to become famous and have people make a movie about me. Who would want to be me? Would there be bobcats?

Straw What? Winner?!?!?

SO ... 833 people in the state of California out of a population of 37,253,956 OR 0.0022 percent of the entire population, voted in a straw poll for Republican candidates for the president of the United States of America. AND ... This was a news story. AND people care?!?!? Why not ask my dog? His answer is just as valid and worthwhile, and he doesn't even care or know anything about the election, mainly because I keep the teleBision turned off practically all the time.

Zero point zero zero two two percent

22 out of every million people

Why should we even care?

We shouldn't.

At least I think my dog doesn't care. I will let you know if he starts growling at the teleBision set when political ads start inundating us.

At least I have ear plugs and Bose noise reduction headphones so I can stand to be in the kitchen cooking while nonsense glows by in the next room.

My wife had the set on last night as I passed by in the hallway from one room to another. Some yelling caused me to glance at the teleBision set for maybe a half of a second and I almost vomited. In that half second someone was killing someone else with a shotgun. No thanks, I don't need that for "entertainment".

Find your own little piece of the universe without teleBision and find peace in the universe. You might discover reality along the way as well. Step away from the nonsense.

Newton's Third Law of Emotion

Here is a new eXperience:

I was startled by ice just now.

Ice of a very small amount.

Inside my house.

In a cup.

My wife left her "empty" tall styrofoam glass of tea on the computer desk from three and half hours ago.

The leftover ice melted and shifted and fell every so slightly making a noise and me jump, equally ever so slightly.

Newton's Third Law of Motion?

It took about 720 milliseconds to begin to figure out what happened.

Scared by falling ice.

A friend immediately responded, telling me to insert Twilight Zone music. I thanked her.

Something from yester-yesterday that has absolutely nothing to do with scary ice:

Everywhere I go today the women are singing too loudly. I am used to a more quiet eXistence.

At least my truck is fixed - new fuel injector at spot number quattro.

OKRA UPDATE:

Discovery: The last two packages of frozen okra that I have purchased for my gumbo have had freezer burn, which was disappointing. But I recently purchased some frozen breaded okra for my wife. So today I rinsed the breading off, probably at least 95% of it before putting it in my gumbo. It had a much better look to it. The breading probably protects from freezer burn.

On a warmer note, it is now September so I had to move my pineapple plantation of three plants indoors. They get to live outdoors June through August. The largest leaves are almost two feet long.

Pat Robertson Is An Idiot

Dear Pat Robertson: the words are "til death do us part, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer". I love my wife to the very end AND beyond. Love means to protect and provide. Alzheimer's is NOT a "form" of death, its a disease; death is death.

Why are people still listening to this idiot enough so that when he says stupid things it becomes news? Remember his nonsense about Haiti and earthquakes? The list just gets longer.

The Fractional Pillow Fight

I just had half of a pillow fight with my dog.

He had no idea whatsoever in how to appropriately respond, so-so-so, he wrapped his mouth around my hand.

No, he didn't bite me, he wrapped his mouth around my hand. There is a difference.

See? -close inspection- no bitey marks.

Ha ha, he wuvs me.

Goofball (me)

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Today's Unvention: They should name a cold medicine "Drain No"

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Due to poor inventory control on the part of Wal-Mart, my dog will just have to settle for an old piece of corn bread instead of a chew rawhide bone. He likes the corn bread. In a related story my orchid looks beautiful with five recent blooms.

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Hmmm, My Blog Is Messed Up On The Right

Somehow my blog template has malfunctioned OR (something else) and now the right column of stuff is misplaced to a position BELOW everything else AND with the magic of how Blogger works I have no idea how to fix this. Funny thing, I have NOT made any changes to my template design in quite a long while, so I am hoping that it is something weird that Blogger has done to "everyone". I will have to investigate.

Diagnostic Work: If I display only this particular blog post, then the problem goes away, so maybe it is something wrong in a particular other blog post or one of the pages that are at the top. 

I tried opening each blog post on an individual basis and there was no problem with the right panel being misplaced until I came to the blog post titled "Life Stuff, Wife Stuff"

I fixed the problem by doing *nothing* - I simply opened the blog post in the editor, and then asked for a Preview - the preview was just fine, no right panel problem. So I saved the contents of the blog post WITHOUT making any changes to the blog post.

M_agⁱ_c

Septembrrrr

Hello Septembrrrr,
Cool Is Nice,
Cold Is N ice

I went outside just now to be sure really,
that it was still as temp brrrr chilly,
ah, I love this temp brrr at sure, thrilly,
no longer like living in a solar -bleep- grilly.


Poetry Link: The Next Poem in My Blog

Does The Monkey Move Diagonally?

Hmmm, I just learned a new definition for the word "PRIMATE" - it can mean an archbishop in the Catholic Church.

So my question is this: Is it possible for any primate to become a primate?

In other words, can a monkey become an archbishop?

Does this mean we might soon be seeing monkeys on chess boards?

May We See Your Mirth Certificate Please?

Forget about the birth certificate for Obama, the Twenty-second Amendment (1951) prevents a President from being elected more than twice. I am starting to think Barak H O might be the reincarnation of Grover Cleveland, who has already served two terms. If you look at pictures of them there is an uncanny resemblance.

Oh, sorry, I accidentally pulled up a picture of Grover from Sesame Street, I get him and the former prez mixed up every once in a while, my bad.

‎(While researching this piece of humor I discovered that there have been THREE Adlai Stevenson's in national politics, same family tree, just one generation skipped: first one was a Vice Pres, second a Pres contender, and the third came close to being a vice pres nominee. They served in a variety of other posts as senator, congressman, ambassador and governor as well)

C L A R I F I C A T I O N: By "uncanny" I mean that neither one on them resembles a can.

Hmmm, maybe its a foursome of confusion: Obama looks like Adlai Stevenson's son's son, who was Grover Cleveland's vice president with both of them politicians from the great state of Illinois and Obama's vice president Biden looks more like Grover Cleveland with both of them being more East Coasty, as well as Grover from Sesame Street looking more like Barak all the time. Perhaps I really just need more coffee at 1:15 AM. ... Oh, sorry, counting noses, thats five "people", so, fivesome, unless you are factoring in the reincarnation reduction, then maybe "fourpointonesome", approximately. I think I checked all their birthdays as well (including Grover of Sesame Street fame) and they don't match. Yes, thats right, Grover has a birthday listed in his Wikipedia article: October 14th.

Have Your Cake Pan and Wash It Too

Necessity is the sister-in-law of invention: I am now forced to bake a German Chocolate Cake in order to be able to wash dishes.

Why?

I discovered a long time ago that the plastic container for my frosting is just the right size to make the perfect sink stopper in my kitchen.

Yesterday I discovered that it is missing.

"Someone" threw it away, so I was unable to do dishes. (My wife told me it was most likely my sister-in-law)

UPDATE 2011.09.19: I finally got my cake, and even shared a little with friends. Joy.

CHECKING: Did you notice by the timestamps that it took over TWO weeks to get my cake? That is just sad, so very very sad (hah)(smile).

Cracker Berry L.

My new little furry friend!!!!

My new friend. His name is "CRACKER BERRY L."

Trying to find s..om..e thi..ng to eat, hmm, what ?!?!? the honey isn't real ?

I almost responded "well, you aren't a real bear either", but then I thought that might give him the dreaded psychological condition called the "Pinocchio Complex".

"No, you may not drive home"

I did p00f up his ears and uncover his eyes for this third photograph, even though he complained that it wasn't his natural "aerodynamic" look. Deer are aerodynamic, bears are not.

 In my Ford, "The Truck Trio":

l to r Cheeteree, Cracker Berry L., and RIACH Herd (Reindeer In A Cup Holder)

If you look really close at Cheeteree the whiskers are trimmed on one side.

When my son (the owner of Cheeteree) was a little boy, he decided to do an experiment to see if his whiskers would grow back.

They either didn't grow back OR they grow very slowly.

Life Stuff, Wife Stuff

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It was wet outside, so this morning when I let Cooper back inside I asked him to sit on the towel by the back door so we could go through his normal routine of him getting most of the junk off his feet. Instead of sitting, though, he walked in a tight circle four times and looked up at me. I told him, "Good job, Bubba Bear, you did really good!"
He smiled and wagged his tail.

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I remove the evil celery and giant carrots from my salad at the restaurant. I continue digging through my salad.
My wife asked me what I was doing.
"Looking for evil celery ... (pause) maybe I should have saved it to take home"
"Why?!?!?", she asked.
"Just in case I need some celery"
The wife smacks her own forehead with her hand.

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I have no idea where Killeen Texas is, but my Internet service pretends that I am there. All the nasty sneaky little internet marketing scheming devices display messages like "Select Age to View Singles in Killeen" - umm, no thanks, match.com, not with the price of diesel, it would be too eXpensive. If I did someone might be kill-een-ing me. I just wanna play Sudoku.

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My wife has an overactive imagination. She thought that I had laid a couple of Beggin' Strips together on the floor end-to-end to make a snake-like figure to try to fool/scare her. "No, honey, for some reason the dog must have left them there instead of eating them." Besides, what are the odds that I would leave Beggin' Strips on the floor AND the dog not mess with them?

AND several hours later they were still on the floor eXactly where he left them, bizarre, AND I know he had to have walked right by them at least once!

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A recent conversation at eXtreme distance, almost yelling (fake):
"Bye, Ern"
"Bye, loveyouabunch"
"Bye, loveyoumore"
"Bye, loveyouless"
Giggles.
Front door closes.

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I decided this morning that we must have a "Nevada" type marriage. Whatever is lost and vague among us, stays lost and vague among us.

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I found out there is a slightly more complicated version to equate dog years to human years, rather than just using the "7 Times Factor". So I used a spread sheet to calculate the day when my dog and I will be the same "aged": 

Feb 9th, 2014

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Q: "Are you glad you are my wife?"

A: "My pillow is as flat as a pancake"

My Brain goes ?!?!?!?(mental cartwheel)?!?!?

Then I thought, well, I did ask her at 1:25 AM

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‎"I'm so tired I can't even ...."

(Pause)

"I'm so tired I can't even ....."

(Pause)

"What?!?!? '.... Finish your own sentence' ?"

"Yes"

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Nothing quite like the pitter patter of your children's feet going through the house in the morning after being gone for so long.

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A night of vivid strange dreams:

A) I was irritated because my wife was trying to secretly own three restaurants instead of two (we don't even have one in real life)

B) They weren't measuring the chemicals correctly on a gas chromatograph at the place where I used to work.

C) Trying to retrieve a photograph of one of my daughter-in-laws from both of them.

A tiring night of straightening out the imaginary world

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I get up briefly to get a drink of water in the middle of a terrible night of non-sleep for all three of us. I meet my wife in passing asking her what time it is, as the kitchen stove clock blinks 12:00 due to Excel Energy's recent failures. She says that it is 4:10 - ah, I think, how fitting, my favorite caliber of shotgun.

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It's gotten worse and completely out of control around here. The dog begins to complain verbally about wanting some supper and then The Wifey encourages him by making the eXact same noises, along with giggling as she thinks she is so intelligent.
What's a boy to do?
Charm school for both of them is sounding better all the time.

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HerHim Shepherd

My wife asked me if I sent the dog into the bedroom to get her out of bed.

"No honey, I would never do that to you at 7:30 in the morning"

He likes for us to be in the same room together. He is usually positioned between us on the floor, typically with a chew rawhide bone. 

I came up with a new name for him. Instead of being half German Shepherd, Cooper is a HerHim Shepherd.

Moments later ...

Her: "Are you happy now? I see your tail wagging"

A Spoonful of Grape Juice

My first year to get grapes from my vineyard was rather meager, but considering the dry hot record breaking ( as well as destroying any and all 8 Track Tapes and cassettes ) I was glad to get something. 

I was hoping for a little bit more than a tablespoon of grape juice, but I did lose two of the grapes before I got to the mashing stage. Farming!!!!

Considering the amount of water used to create the plant, both this year and last, the cost to create that amount of grape juice is staggering on a per gallon basis.

I told my wife about the "Price Per Gallon" at supper and she mentioned that I needed to include the cost of the nice cedar posts (plus wire, turn buckles, concrete...). I told her at least those costs get spread out over the rest of the time the vineyard is "in operation". She didn't realize that they last a very long time (after we are dead).

The Möbius Ball

I combined three Möbius Strips to form a one sided ball-like structure.

I photographed the paths around each strip to show the one-sided-ness of the entire structure.

Constructed of paper and glue.

Note: When I sequentially labeled the glued strip intersections with letters (A->B->...->M) to show the single sidedness of each Möbius strip, I purposely skipped the letter "I" because it might have caused confusion being photographed at a 90 degree angle and then it would look like an "H".

This next photo shows the three paper segments that have a half twist in them. They form sort of a "curved triangle", one eighth of a sphere. Four of the spherical segments are bounded with straight paper segments, three of them have one half twist, and the eighth one has the three half twists.

I started the journey around the strips beginning with letter A:

The B to C segment encounters the first half twist:

After arriving back at A, start the second Möbius Strip

After arriving back at A, return to M to begin around the third Möbius Strip

Final step back to M

Update 2011.09.06 - Someone just asked Google this question:
"where can i buy a möbius ball" - and of course the answer is: ME !!!

Just send me a request by e-mail or blog comment.

Invention Link: The Next Invention in My Blog

Out On The HVAC Trail

Short Pieces On Learning About Air Conditioning

(I will add more new short related pieces - newer items float to the top "blog style" and separated by "-----")

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As I was getting out of my vehicle there was a small Russian thistle that I almost stepped on with my left foot, and I thought, "wow, that was close!" But then one and a half steps later my wrong foot was headed for a medium sized tarantula. Luckily I avoided him/her as well, and this pair was far away from my home where nothing bad ever happens.

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Today was a GREAT day to NOT go to work. I was glad I wasn't there to eXperience TWO rattlesnakes under a house. My friend had to fight them off with a piece of PVC pipe. Do you realize how difficult it is to KILL a charging rattlesnake with just a piece of small diameter PVC pipe underneath a house where there is little room to swing anything?

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"Wrong" - is the One thing common for the last three job sites that I had been to Thursday. Something was either already wired incorrectly or in one case, the wrong type of fuse was installed.

Also, if your air filter has started to resemble shag carpeting, and weighs considerably more than the new one, you have "weigh"-ted TOO long between filter changes.

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Today was free beer day, two different kinds!

First A&W and then Barq's.

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Jealousy is such a weird beast.

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I spent about 20 difficult minutes in a warm attic today removing a fan blower unit with a faulty motor. As soon as I got down from the attic my mentor Eddie let me know the rest of the story.

I knew that Eddie had tried to get the bad motor but it was in just too difficult spot in the attic for him with his knees. So he had asked me to help the next day, today. But what I didn't know was that after Eddie had not been able to remove it, the homeowner had called in another local HVAC guy, and it just happened to be the same person that had told me a few months ago that my entire system on Main Street needed replaced, which of course, with Eddie's help that wasn't the case, and it was the very impetus to get me started in HVAC work. So with this bad motor situation this other HVAC guy had told the homeowner it would be too difficult to fix, and that he would need to buy a complete new unit. So that boosted my ego and made us laugh hard and long.

(2nd Day on the Project - Had to wait for a new motor) We got the new motor back in place today, but it was rough and took a *little* too long, more warM aTTic TiMe. But I learned some good lessons and I'll be able to do it faster next time. Next time I'll shoot photos of the things I plan to take apart.

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I solved the riddle for what is causing the release of refrigerants ruining the ozone layer. Answer: Dogs urinating on the condenser coils of central air conditioners. The chemicals eat away at the aluminum fins eventually totally destroying sections of the outdoor unit. The first confirmed case day before yesterday was a very large dog appropriately named Boomer.

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I asked where we were going next.

"To Stinnett to fix a window AC unit that has a 'dingling' noise"

My question: "So this is a 'de-dingling' process, and when we get finished it will be 'de-dingle-ed'?"

Eddie responded with laughter and a yes.

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Today a client gave me a glass of tea. After drinking the tea I returned the glass to her kitchen. My mentor Eddie told me that the glass was a gift, and she said, "it's one less thing I'll have to move" (when going to her new home soon). So now I'm the (proud?) possessor of a Santa-Snowman-Gingerbread Man Glass, thanks to The Turtle Woman of Fritch Texas.

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I saw this box at a customer's house. So what do you think? Why, of course I touched it!

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I learned today that Albert Einstein did research and had patents for a refrigeration process with no moving mechanical parts.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E​instein_refrigerator

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Today a customer, that I have known for about 30 years, told my mentor Eddie this about me in a loud whisper so I could hear, "You have to watch out for him, he's smarter than he looks"

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We just got directions to a rural customer: "He's out in the middle of nowhere, on the left"

I was greeted by a very nice cow dog. He was quiet and friendly, until right when we were leaving he started barking! We were already IN the vehicle AND the pickup was already in gear.

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My Lost Trailian Son Comes Home Soon

I posted this status in Facebook: Eight VIII 1000 (that third one is the binary form of the number 8) 8 - EIGHT more days and my son will be home for awhile!!! We have missed you so much, please make sure that you make your flight, don't forget to come home that day! (ha, like that would really ever happen!) We promise not to make you eat anything Australian.


Message from my ex-sister-in-law: Do You keep Vegamite in the house??

Response to my ex-sister-in-law:

We keep Vegemite at our house under lock and key and out of direct sunlight ONLY for the following purposes:

A) For Halloween Trick-R-Treaters who happen to be more than 51% Australian
B) For use as a refrigerant as an approved chemical according to the Montreal Protocol for the ban and diminished use of chlorofluorocarbons to save the ozone layer
C) For shingle roof repair
D) To lubricate the sludging, oops, wrong word, SLIDING glass door at the back of the house
E) A small amount is kept in a hypodermic needle as a replacement for epinephrine (adrenaline) in case any Aussie visiting vegetarians go into anaphylactic shock
F) For skunk odor removal. Mixed with tomato juice with a side of vodka and a celery stalk in a separate container
G) For those rare times when I run out of RoundUp weed killer
H) Painting my toe nails

and last but not least:

I) In slightly diluted form (3:1 ratio water:vegemite) to fill my Super Soaker as my primary weapon when "playing" paintball. I make a flame thrower noise when releasing the toxic contents on my victims. I rarely get invited back to play paintball from the other kids in the neighborhood and somehow always win.

Today's Thought

Today's Thought: If I were a fireman I would have a fire eXtinguisher nearby at all times in order to "Save The Day!"


Someone might comment, "Say, is that a tiny fire eXtinguisher hooked on your belt ?!?!?"


I would respond, "Yes, it's 'ABC' rated, and [lifting pant leg] this other one (around my ankle) handles sodium metal fires."


"Do you wear them everywhere?!?!?"


"No, not in the shower - plenty of water there"

My Wife and The Polystyrene Duck

My wife has acquired a new wonderful skill: She can make a "decent" AFLAC Duck sound by rubbing two pieces of styrofoam cup together. Discovered quite by accident by her talent agent husband. She argued with me that it was actually the LID on one cup rubbing against the side of another cup.

Of course I was driving at the time and had not noticed the lid, so I discovered my own method of Aflac-ing simply by partially removing the lid in two steps, in order to make the duck noise.

Then we had a "discussion" about whether the lid counts as Styrofoam because I couldn't find a polymer recycle symbol on the lid itself to indicate whether they both might be a different forms of polystyrene, with the cup being a foam blown object and the lid being a stamped part from sheet form or some similar manufacturing process.

See boys and girls what kind of fun you can have with junk in your car, kind of a "McGyver" meets "Mr Rogers Neighborhood" with a twist of "America Doesn't Have This Much Talent"!

My ex-sister-in-law responded that she was concerned about us performing these activities while driving.

My Response: We had just eaten Mexican food so that probably made it safe to perform the activities while driving at relatively low speed in that particularly unimportant and boring part of town. Plus I was "reading" one number or symbol through a translucent object, which I never found, instead of letters of the alphabet which probably makes a big difference.

[To my newbie readers, that My Response paragraph was meant to have elements of incoherency that are consistent with the general tone of most of my writing that is to the left of center]

Recently Re-Scently Re-Entry

Pavlov's iPad: My dog's behavior is bad enough when he knows that pizza is going to be delivered, so I NEVER plan to let him know that I order the pizza online, otherwise everytime he sees me get on my iPad he will think that iFood is coming soon.

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I am thinking about moving to "2010 TK7"

Wikipedia Link to Trojan Asteroid "2010 TK7"

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The week is almost over, one small wiring task to go, the weak has begun. BUT there is a bowl of I Scream in my left hand as I type one handedly with the right, so the length of this paragraph is actually a volumetric measure of 3/4 of a bowl of I Scream, with chocolate and butterscotch syrups.

Do I hear thunder boomies? ... Yes, the sky looks kinda ready to rain, but I think its just forgot how to rain in my part of the swirled.

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If you are forced to live in a world of buffoons it helps a little bit if there is free candy.

My Friend Responded: Where's the free candy??

My Response: Texas. In several places. Various levels of Quality.

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‎"We tuna are very sensitive, we cry at everything" - Pinocchio

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I looked all (most) over the place for my favorite coffee cup this morning and couldn't find it, and I almost went outside thinking that I might have left it in the garden area last night, then I realized it was in the dishwasher, who would have guessed that?!?!?

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So somebody on my right side was telling me how smart their grandchild was and that he wanted to be an engineer (think mechanical, chemical, electrical, not choo-choo-ical) AND that their grandchild must have got their wizardly smarts from herself. Her husband on my left laughingly snorted.

I quickly thought of a simple appropriate test: I asked her what the equation was for measuring the volume of a cylinder shaped object. This kind of dumbfounded her for a second.

Her husband resnorted in response.

She responded that there are several kinds of smarts.

So I held up the water bottle in my right hand inverted, showing her a cylinder shape, covering the cone shaped end with my hand.

She snatched the bottle out of my hand and read the contents, "See Ernie, it says right here, '10 fluid ounces' ---" and we all cracked up laughing.

24 Hours Worth of Little Things

Five Things In The Last 24 Hours

I thought of a great practical joke to play on my dog. This morning I watched Cooper from a distance dig a hole right beside my tomato plant and then bury his dog biscuit. I should sneak out of the house and go put 3 or 4 dog biscuits poking out of the ground where he planted his earlier. Gardening. Its not just for humans anymore.

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‎"I knew what was going to happen in that TV scene"
"Me too, I'm not stupid"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm married to you"
"That still doesn't answer the question" - laughter


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A Geico teleBision commercial has a computer generated gecko talking about the merits of the insurance company and he is bragging about the REAL people available at the company. Virtual irony.

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I survived a massive tornado last night in my dream.

From my friend: I'm so glad you're safe and hope Tamie survived as well!!! Scary stuff.....

My Response: I am thinking it was a pizza induced dream tornado. Supreme or chicken supreme, not sure which one.

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Okay, now I'm waiting for the teleBision commercial where three spiders are eating in a fancy restaurant and the middle spider sets his cellular telephone on the table with a picture of a human on the screen and then the left spider goes berserk and then the right spider saves the day by smashing the telephone. Where is my commercial?

How To Get a Fuller Moon

While driving home one evening from a restaurant there was a full moon that had just popped up over the horizon. My wife mentioned jokingly that we needed to watch out for werewolves. I responded that there may be fuller moons than that one. My wife continued to say "No" to all my ideas for fuller moons.

A) What if you went to the surface of the moon and looked in all directions toward the horizon, wouldn't that be fuller? - "No"

B) What if a werewolf were standing on the moon and looked STRAIGHT down, so that the surface of the moon completely filled its field of vision? - "No"

C) What if the werewolf laid down on the surface of the moon, in a spacesuit of course, and looked straight UP and held a circular hand mirror that then had nothing but reflected moon surface in it, wouldn't that be larger? - "No"

She wanted to stop after my three suggestions for fuller moons.