Dream Induced Abdominal Pain

I wake up today (more than once) with severe abdominal pain.

Why?

Because I am having very stupid vivid dreams, recurring ones.

In my dreams I am going to the local used car lot and trying to squeeze between automobiles and objects they are parked very close to, such as a tree.

A tree? Someone would park a car neXt to a tree in a used car lot ... hold it, they don't put alot of trees in car lots.

In my dreams I am known for doing this. The last time I have to get my cell phone out to call to get myself rescued because I am stuck. Yes, stuck between a car and a tree. I wake up with a very sore stomach. In real life I don't even have a cell phone!

I think, "This is the stupidest dream of all time"

I go running into the living room to tell my wife. She is absolutely no comfort, not that I reaLLy eXpected to find any in her.

She laughs, "That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard." She claims she has never had that kind of dream.

I don't know who or what to blame. Perhaps it was the very last news article I heard on teleBision last night about Mitt Romney building a house in San Diego that has an elevator for his cars. Yes, that's a true story. Perhaps it has something to do with shopping for new shorts yesterday, trying to squeeze into the smallest size possible? Perhaps it was pushing my human powered lawn mower. Yes, I was mowing in the dark. That was the very last thing I did before I came to bed, besides playing my brain training straining new video game.

All I know for sure is that I am in pain, and the source is stupidity. The main conclusion I can come to is don't vote for Mitt Romney, my body can't take much more of this.


Update 2012.03.30: I wake up this morning with no remembrance of any dream, stupid or otherwise but more importantly, NO pain!

So I wander into the living room for coffee. I begin to work on my Japanese lessons. After I finish my coffee I get a light blanket and pillow to lay on the couch while I continue my studies. I work on several kanji characters, the last one being the character for "friend" 友

But then I wake up from a dream! At least this one has no pain.

Dream: I have three friends who have no names in this dream, so they will just be persons A, B, and C. I convince my alphabet friends that we need to bother someone, person D, who has been bothering us.

So here is my plan: We go to the house of D and stand on his porch. Then we wait there long enough until he feels our "presence". In my dream I believe that we can make our presence known to other people who are nearby out of sight through the use of psychic energy. So we get to the house of D and there is an enclosed porch, and I have friend A stand directly facing the front door. Friends B & C simply sit by the door to the porch and proceed to go to sleep. 

There is a huge gap at the bottom of the door and you can see reflections and shadows of something or someone moving inside the house. But my plan that person D sensing our presence doesn't appear to be working, so I start making scraping noises, running my shoe across the floor. After several minutes of this shoe noise person D finaLLy senses our presence and the front door bursts open.

Person D of my dream is the actor Jeffrey Jones that played the character Dean of Students Edward Rooney in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Upon seeing the four of us on his porch, he lurchs past friend A and points his finger at my face and yells, "I should have known it was you!" but then he turns around and drags friend A into the house by his jacket collar mumbling something in disgust. I follow them into the house thinking that I will be able to save the day with my wrestling skills. Friends B & C have had time to wake up, and they arrive inside as well. The Alphabet Gang and I just stand there staring at Mr Rooney, who has aged considerably since the Ferris B movie, and we stare at him with eXtremely huge tight forced clown face type grins, complete with teeth showing. Rooney looks at all of us suspiciously, he starts to say something backing away, and then I wake up.