What's Wrong

Hah! I just figured out what's wrong with my life! I have gone waaaaaay tooooooooo long without listening AND watching Maria Bamford. I just spent 'bout an hour getting re-fill-ed with hilarity, and I plan to B sure to take my vitamen B-amford every day for a while until I get side tracked and forget about her again for a while. Vitamen, no, vital woman, Maria B.

Just search her in YouTube, she is typically wonderful, non-boring.

I haven't found the one called "Me, My Mom, and A Monster" stand up routine just yet, it's one of my favorites.

Do you know what else is wrong, well, at least strange, maybe not so much wrong, but strange? My number two country for blog traffic is Russia. I'm thinking like, Russia, why has Russia suddenly in the last couple of months shot past France as my number two country in traffic, when I don't do many Russian oriented pieces, well, I've done a few, but they were a while ago. Do people in Russia really read me, or is it just phony traffic? If you are from Russia and reading me, send me an e-mail, I would like to have some feedback.

What else is wrong? Motion. I have been spending too much time indoors lately so I have started walking when the weather lets me. It is December. But it is Texas. Sometimes our Decembers are really nice in short chunks, at least during the day. I tried using my treadmill, but it is broken. So I compensate by doing laundry and dishes rea///////lllly fast. Sometimes it scares the Cooper, so then I slow down.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, thinking, anything, else? Hmmmm ... YES!!! Insomnia!!! It's 1:45 AM, I need somnia. At least I have two giant pillows. My wife and I used to each have a giant pillow. But now I have two and she has none. You snooze, you lose. Actually she just forgot about it. How do you forget a giant pillow? I'll buy her another one if she really wants one, I promise. It would be nice if they made pills you could take that would help you go to sleep. They could call them sleeping pills. I bet if someone would invent them, people would buy them. I wonder why no one has thought of sleeping pills before? I have this new trick, called everytime I see a punctuation mark, I close my eyes, silently count to three, reopen my eyes, and continue reading. I will try that trick and see if that helps me go to sleep. It will probably just mess up my reading ability. And mess up my counting ability. People will be like, say, why does Ernest fall asleep so easily when he counts four of something?

Wrong, Wron, Wrong, Wron, Wrong ... some-thing-else, my younger son has been gone toooo long too too far far away but he will be home in a few days for the holidays, so YEA!!! I tell Cooper that he is coming home and show him pictures of my son and his wife, and Cooper gets eXcited, and looks at the front door, hoping it will open. Sometimes he jumps up on the couch and looks out the picture window. Not yet, my furry friend, not quite yet. A few more days, Bubba, a few more days. (That's one of Cooper's nick names, he has a ton of them. Cooper used to be my son's dog a long time ago.)

Busy Learning Polish

This is what too much 2 AM does to me:

Busy learning Polish ... .. .

Language and Society

How?

Studying and Enjoying the photography at this website

(photo blog titled [ Simple Observations ])

http://towiech.blogspot.com/

And getting a little help from Google Translate

Yes, I'm still awake.

Why?

No, I don't know why.

I learned that the time display for comments in Facebook is dynamic.

"2 seconds ago"

"a few seconds ago"

"about a minute ago"

"2 minutes ago" 

... ... ...

But I am not sure if other peoples comments will pop into place automa_Gically.

If I was a worm, people would say, "Wow! Thatza bigga worma! I wonder if itz a snake?" Then I wou

(I accidentally split the sentence in two at "would", sorry)

ld say, "I am a worm, not a snake"
And then the people would run away screaming,
"a giant talking worma - Everybody runna awaya!"
(I have no idea why they are sounding like the Mario Brothers)
Then I would say to myself, "my, my, Self, I'm glad this isn't a dream, it would be scary"

Happiness: Freshly clean shoes

Sadness: I have to wait about 24 hours for my shoes to dry

Coming soon: Horse Poetry

4 AM - Still awake, but I got to see a lot of Poland through an interesting lens.

Thanks Tomasz Wiech.

The Multiple Hammer Household

Time: 3 Minutes After Midnight
Date: Who Cares
Place: My Pillow

I was going to say, "See y'all tomorrow", but it already is.

I am totally exhausted but can't go to sleep and now Cooper is barking at something, hopefully the something, or possibly the nothing, is outside. It would be just my luck that he is barking at a giant sleeping pill that is afraid of dogs, and it sensed I was having trouble going to sleep and it was coming to rescue me from me, but now it is a stilled chilled pill outside my window sill.

‎"so now the wife is getting the hammer" to knock me in the head so I can go to sleep. Her words and suggestion, not mine. Yes, that's right, she actually called herself "the wife", plus I am confused by her use of a definite article "the" instead of the indefinite article "a" as a descriptor for the word "hammer".

One thing at a time, one thing at a time.

She must have a particular hammer in mind. We are a multiple hammer household. Too bad we don't have a rubber mallet, that would be a slightly better choice. I should remind her that I seem to prefer bruises on the right side of my body, for some unknown reason, but I think she has already fallen asleep. Oops, doggie is barking again.

New plumbing problem: I think a water line to the shower is now leaking.

Help!!!