May We See Your Mirth Certificate Please?

Forget about the birth certificate for Obama, the Twenty-second Amendment (1951) prevents a President from being elected more than twice. I am starting to think Barak H O might be the reincarnation of Grover Cleveland, who has already served two terms. If you look at pictures of them there is an uncanny resemblance.

Oh, sorry, I accidentally pulled up a picture of Grover from Sesame Street, I get him and the former prez mixed up every once in a while, my bad.

‎(While researching this piece of humor I discovered that there have been THREE Adlai Stevenson's in national politics, same family tree, just one generation skipped: first one was a Vice Pres, second a Pres contender, and the third came close to being a vice pres nominee. They served in a variety of other posts as senator, congressman, ambassador and governor as well)

C L A R I F I C A T I O N: By "uncanny" I mean that neither one on them resembles a can.

Hmmm, maybe its a foursome of confusion: Obama looks like Adlai Stevenson's son's son, who was Grover Cleveland's vice president with both of them politicians from the great state of Illinois and Obama's vice president Biden looks more like Grover Cleveland with both of them being more East Coasty, as well as Grover from Sesame Street looking more like Barak all the time. Perhaps I really just need more coffee at 1:15 AM. ... Oh, sorry, counting noses, thats five "people", so, fivesome, unless you are factoring in the reincarnation reduction, then maybe "fourpointonesome", approximately. I think I checked all their birthdays as well (including Grover of Sesame Street fame) and they don't match. Yes, thats right, Grover has a birthday listed in his Wikipedia article: October 14th.

Obama Time Machine Math

One of my friends wrote the following, most likely copying it from someone else:

Let's take the United States to it's pre 1957 state - no Hawaii - then Mr Obama will for sure not be a citizen of this great country and those of us with any intelligence can support Israel until the end! That's ok the God I worship and the nation of Israel wins I read THE BOOK

My Response: Haha, doing the math, BHObama was born in the year 1961, so HAwaii was already 716 days old. While doing the math I suddenly realized why BHObama must be so special - he was born in the SAME month as YOU! ROBLOLAMLOI - rolling on bed laughing out loud at my level of inventiveness.


Now I wonder why the original author chose "1957" when wikipedia has 1959 for the year Hawaii became a state. Do you suppose there is another conspiracy theory now going on about Hawaii's birth certificate as well?

Update: I later found out "they" had an argument about whether it was 1957, 1958, or 1959, and chose the oldest year to be safe, so it was a group thing.

My Second Response: Thats funny that you had an argument about a statehood year when there were probably at least 4 internet devices (guessing the number of smart phones etc) in the room to search the year! I did read the CNN article about the Obama proposal for Israel to return to its pre-1967 borders, and that has no support from either Netanyahu or Hamas, who want to take Israel to a pre-1948 state. I imagine that Israel will keep right on doing whatever it wants based on its previous behavior and the United States government will keep right on supporting Israel based on its previous behavior. (I did look up Israel's birth year of 1948 AD, so hope-fool-ly Wikipedia was correct) Israel can always insist on it's 930 BC borders.

My Third Response: I was reading the requirements for Prez, and noticed that it says "natural born Citizen" - so this must mean anyone who was born by C-section method or a test tube baby would not be eligible to be Prez. We'll have to find out how he was born!

I looked at his long form birth certificate, and it does not indicate type of birth, C-section or natural, BUT I did learn that his last name is really "OBAMA, II", in uppercase. Does that mean we are supposed to say it really loud (uppercase) when speaking his name, and should we pronounce the II part as each letter of the alphabet as "eye eye" ? Maybe its suppose to be pronounced "Obama comma eye eye".

OH NO!!! I just saw the space between the comma and the II, he is a SPACE man, SO HE IS AN ALIEN !!! This totally disqualifies him as president, he isn't even HUMAN!!!

Link to Barak H. Obama II Birth Certificate Long Form PDF File

Pre-Birthers

So if you want to be involved with another Presidential controversy (and I really don't, I'm just pointing out the simple math here), then if you calculate the difference between the parents of Obama wedding date of February 2, 1961 and Barak's birthdate of August 4, 1961, do the math and that is only 6 months, so most likely he was conceived out of wedlock.

So would people who argue about this be called "pre-birthers"?

Reference for dates was the Wikipedia article for Barak H. Obama

Disclaimer: I don't support the "Birther" arguments or imply that even if Barak was conceived out of wedlock that he is unqualified to be President on that account. I'm just creating a new label for a conspiracy group, just being my lil ole inventive self. Actually none of us knows for sure where or when we were actually or accurately born, as our memories don't typically go back that far. We depend on others to let us know.

So there is always the slim chance that someone else has lied about your true citizenship without you knowing about it. I'm pretty sure if you've always thought of yourself as a U.S. Citizen from birth, even if you really aren't, you have the proper frame of mental citizenship that the founding fathers were looking for in order to be qualified to lead your fellow like-minded citizens.