I am a Door Able

I am in bed, almost asleep, when I get a text message from my wife in the living room at 9:30 PM.

Text message: "The front door is open. I'm scarred"

Of course I instantly know she means 'scared' but I pretend I don't understand.

I respond in a smart alec manner:

"You have scars?"

So I get out of bed and go into the living room. She says the front door is open. I am groggily thinking, does she mean the outside glass or inside wooden door(?). Then I turn around to see that it is most likely both, that the wind blew the wooden door open an inch or so.

Then I am fully awake, and say, "Hold it, you were the last person who came through the door and you are sitting right here a few feet from the doors and you had me come all the way from the bedroom (in my pajamas) to close doors you didn't make sure were closed (an hour ago)?!?!?"

I think by this point she realized the ridiculousness of her request and she put this fake scared little kid face & voice on and said, "I was scared." Yes, it was fake, there was a suppressed smile, too.

I am inappropriately dressed but I still, without fear or revealing myself, close both doors.

I realize several hours later that the dogs didn't say anything.

Poem: Wild Wind Wiggle Works

The wild wind wiggle works 

the old nails from their old over bored holes 

of the old worn wood boards.

The loose boards must be re-nail bound

Before they are discovered free by a snoopy hound

For they will make their escape fast and for good

And terrier-ize out past into the neighborhood

Poetry Link: The Next Poem in My Blog

Hopper at Day 365

It has been a wonderful year since my little friend Hopper mysteriously found his way into my backyard, and moved on into my heart. He is an almost constant companion. When he is not with me, I am invariably thinking about him.

Poem: Getting Syrious About Syria with DJT

"Very soon, or not so soon at all.", 

said the orange hairy buffoon bumbling baboon who is 6 foot tall

who thinks he thinks he's bright 

like Dr. Seuss in a book would write

but sounds like a freak 

when his brain leaks to speak

Oh, the things which you can get to become,

When you are very rich and yet very dumb.

April's Fool Version 2018

On April Fools Day I take my father-in-law on a short trip across town. Given enough time he will ask me some ridiculous question. The question that day was, "Do they sell any cars at that place (pointing to the GM dealership)? I never see them selling anything."

I think for a half second and reply, "No, they never sell any vehicles there. They are only allowed to display them, and people buy them online." - to which he replied, "Oh"

I waited about three seconds and told him, "Aprils Fools!!! I was just teasing", to which he cracked up laughing, and added, "and I'm not even wearing green!" which totally cracked me up laughing, and I said, "No, Homer, green is for Saint Patrick's Day." and we both laughed for another minute or so.

We get to his house in Stinnett, and right as I pull up to stop there is a darn goat on the other side of the fence staring directly at us. I tell Homer, "Look at that chicken."

"What chicken?!?!?", he says, knowing he has no chickens. I say, "right there!"

He leans forward, and says, "There ain't no chicken there - laughs - that's a goat!"

"No, it's a chicken, look, there's an egg right there on the ground!" - which causes him to lean farther forward in his seat. "There ain't no chicken there!" and he gets out, "What time are you picking me up tomorrow?" and I remind him that I don't remember and that my wife will call him. He gets out of the vehicle, and just as I suspected he doesn't go directly into the house as usual but heads toward the goat-not chicken-no egg zone.

Duckworth Birth

There was an interesting headline announcing that Tammy Duckworth was the first sitting US senator to give birth while in office. My question is: wouldn’t it have been easier giving birth laying down in a hospital?

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I think I have spent at least half my life being around Corelle brand Vitrelle dishes almost everyday and thought they were opaque. So I am scrubbing a small bowl of some dried food in a fairly dark kitchen and I notice something dark not coming off the bowl. And I suddenly wonder, "What was in that tuna fish salad?!?!?". I continue turning the bowl in my left hand with my right between scrubbing, and then I realized the dark area was simply my finger underneath the bowl blocking the faint reflected light from behind me, and the dish is translucent. I am usually more observant than that, at least that is what I tell myself.

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Dumbbell Jumble Tumble

A Poem for Today

Mumble, mumble, mumble...

Rumble, rumble, rumble...

Dumbbell, dumbbell, dumbbell?

Fumble, fumble, fumble!

Crumble, crumble, crumble...

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

Tumble, 

  Tumble, 

   Tumble.