His Story of Iris History Is This

I have a rare talent. I just recognized Iris Dement's singing voice in the closing song in some movie credits.

After Fargo the tv show I started watching the Billy Bob Thornton movies on Netflix. The movie was "Daddy and Them" from 2001, so it was from 13 years ago that I didn't immediately recognize one of my favorite actors from [tv show] 'Justified', named Walton Goggins who plays Boyd Crowder.

I don't routinely listen to Iris Dement. I was first mesmerized after hearing her during the final song performed for the last episode of the tv show Northern Exposure titled 'Our Town' on July 26th, 1995. She has a veRy distinct voice, and wrote that song after passing through a small town in Oklahoma.

The only time I have been to Missouri was a day hunting for Iris. I had gone to Topeka KS to see Itzhak Perlman in concert, so I decided to wander through a piece of Missouri. I was unsuccessful at finding her; I was hoping for an autograph. I did get Itzhak's signature on my CD cover for my favorite album of his, which contained the same Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D Major that was performed. I think I was the last fan in line to get to see him that evening. He was sweaty and appeared exhausted.

The new thing I discovered in Missouri that day was deep fried turkey legs available as fast food. I did not actuaLLy get one. By 'discovered' that means I saw it on a sign out a few restaurants while driving by.

There Be Dragon(flie)s

I just realized I am not much of a man. I was just startled INdoors by a dragonfly. WeLL, considering it looked like a flying scorpion and after my scorpion battle this week AND it was a good sized dragonfly ....

... and it did sneak up behind me, right side.

Don't worry, I didn't kiLL it.

Break is over, back to mopping .... it is early Tuesday morning.

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I did the math and realized I have lived slightly longer than Hitler.

... and I am slightly older than Prince!!! I just discovered that ...

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Sandwich Idea:

Use 1/2 of a Schwan's Chicken Kiev, with a slice of pepper jack cheese on a burger bun with Miracle Whip. Tasty! Great for leftovers...

I recently found Miracle Whip with Olive Oil in a handy squeeze dispensor bottle.

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I am in crisis mood. I finished making my anchovy paste oyster sauce chicken chicken noodle soup only to discover that I am crackerless.

I survived, just barely, in parrot request distress, Ernie-wanna-cracker. In the end the soup tasted great and my younger son had provided me with my first ever "Vanilla Float" flavored Dr Pepper. The reason why there are two chickens in the soup description is because I used some left-over fried chicken middles and Cooper got the chicken piece outsides.

We were displeased to find out that Vanilla Float Dr Pepper is only going to be around for a short while. I suggested (to my son) the obtainment of a bottle of vanilla flavoring. But he told me it wouldn't be the same or maybe it was he had tried that already or some combination of those two [failures - ha]. I neXt suggested adding 40 parts per million milk to try getting the "float" part of the recipe figured out. 

Float Hopes.

The Goebbels Mistake

I was watching a documentary from readings of Joseph Goebbels diaries called The Goebbels Experiment today on Netflix. There were words across the screen for July 15, 1935 Saturday, and so I paused the screen to see if I could calculate that day of the week to confirm it was Saturday in my head. It took me a couple minutes (I am not a savant) but I was disturbed that I didn't get Saturday, but Monday. I even did the work twice.

So I asked Google and it confirmed it was a Monday.

Hmmm, I thought it was odd that someone keeping a diary would record the wrong day of the week. 

Maybe someone mistranslated the diary for the film, afterall, what I saw wasn't the actual diary, just the English words in a film. I didn't noticed any other references to days of the week in the movie.

I noticed that they used a font that looked "old", I think it is Courier, monospaced lettering, but I only have an iPad with me at the moment, so I will have to investigate it later.

Update: I was able to use a drawing app and select Courier.

I think the words on the screen match this Courier print I was able to do with my iPad drawing app:

Even though Courier is old, it was invented in 1955, ten years after Goebbels death.

Two Posts, One Day (I Might Be Dead Tomorrow)

From cryptogramcorner.org :

"I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life, particularly if he has income and she is pattable." - Ogden Nash

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Ouch.

Now why couldn'T I have gone The resT of my nice lil' peaceful life withouT geTT ing biT by a scorpion? Sucker goT me in The left fourTh Toe, but I goT him compleTely with a rubber malleT.

There was a red solo cup involved as a TransporT device To The eXecuTion chamber.

Scorpi-on, Scorpi-off.

So if I am sTiLL alive a few hours from now, I won.

I checked out the first aid treatment, I think I am okay. I am alternating an ice pack on it every ten minutes.

I caLLed my mommy to come kiss my boo-boo, but she is busy grocery shopping. -sigh-

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I am on day one of trying to go a month without playing Sudoku. So I am studying physics instead.

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On Tuesday I went to Wells Fargo to use my security box. I guess I hadn't used it in at least three years because before I could get in the box to get the item that wasn't even there, I found out the bill hadn't been paid in 3 years because the payments weren't setup that way. (?).

But the amount was higher than 3x55=165. THEN I found out they had been accumulating a late fee for non-payment that I knew nothing about. Wells Fargo sends me e-mails all the time! Why not this? So they can manage to charge me late fees but can't figure out how to just take the annual fee out of our account.

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Dumb Joke of The Day

Upon seeing my wife's empty box of cookies in the trash can, I ask her, "Do you know what they caLL the odors on the inside of your cookie box? ...pause... Nilla Vapors." She laughed slightly, so she either got the joke or she recognized that it was supposed to be a joke.

When I repeated the punchline I tried to slightly transform the p of vapors into the f of wafers.

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I see on teleBision some words under someone talking, "Breakthrough Discovery in Heart Disease". The volume is turned off. I am probably not interested because it most likely means they want me to stop eating something.

In more important news I look out my window at the tree branches moving slightly in the wind. After last night I am just glad to have a few branches left. I see a strange looking branch. Moments later it moves downward. It is a veRy large cat about 15 feet off the ground.

I Am The Weigh, The Truth, and I'm Not Lively

I just thought of two words with a similar meaning to 'thesaurus': asaurus and ansaurus

I was in definite surprise that they are not listed in my thesaurus.

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If you don't see me for awhile its because I am yam busy playing with our new oven. Nomnomn0mnomnornnOmnom ...

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United Supermarket in Borger has a great cookie from their bakery:
Macadamia Heaven Cookies

The best part is that my wife doesn't like them! More fer me 'n Cooper.

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Today my son just told me that yesterday he saw the movie 'Edge of Tomorrow'. Much better than 'Groundhog Day'. Much more violence. Lets see Bill Murray try to stop abuncha aliens. (His opinions)

I just now thought, Bill Murray did a pretty good job in 'Ghost Busters', so he might be a good candidate for alien control.

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I noticed that one of my grape vines has a built-in self-pruning feature. A new growth had wrapped around an old growth from last year, then in the process of being blown about by the wind the old brown branch had become detached yet still entangled ensnarled defeated by the next green generation. I left it hanging there mid-air to see what happens next.

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I wiLL soon be able to weigh tiny things and tinier things. I already have a balance that weighs objects upto 100 gm and receiving a 650 gm machine tomorrow. So if you are curious about your tiny and tinier things, I can help.

My Alternate Ending for Fargo

I think my second biggest fear is that my wife finds out that I'm reaLLy a robot.

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This is one of my younger son's favorite things to say about me to his mother in my presence: "I always had a feeling you didn't like good things, and now I know." He usuaLLy says it when I mention a new combination of foods and or sauces to eat together.

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I am having pain in my left elbow. My wife told me that it is probably arthritis. I told her its because she is making me work too much. Ouch-wife-is

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I thought they said it was going to be hot today. It's only 103 and they said it was going to be 104.

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Listening to the old men at the diner at breakfast today. One of them said, "When I first got married my wife was so young that on my way to work each morning I would drop her off at the day care center."

His voice carries and everyone in the room, the open area near the front of the diner, died laughing. I don't know who his wife is but I happen to have known his brother's wife and her sister for about twenty and thirty years but I have only known him for about a year.

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The nice thing about my wife getting a new iPad is that now I have a spare iPad.

I am hoping for an iPad soon that is iainmbanks-like, that hovers, is nuclear powered and has a weapons system.

The iPad Scare

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I heard the words "Chicken Fried Lobster" on teleBision and died laughing. It may be good, not sure, but it stiLL made me laugh.

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Spoiler Alert for Fargo the FX TV Series

Here is my ending for the season one of Fargo, which still has two episodes to go at this moment.

Gina Hess has Lester's baby without him knowing about it. One day in the distant future Lester, who has become more LorneMalvo-esque and an expert at insurance fraud, sees his son being tormented by his older Hess half-brothers (who know that Lester is the father) and rescues him by killing the Hess boys.

I Could Have Sworn That Was Your Wife

I just saw my wife fixing to sneeze. In a slightly louder commanding voice with my left index finger pointed at her, I proclaimed, "Sneeze!"

She was obedient.

It was a beautiful thing.

One of us laughed.

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Can you spell s-t-u-p-i-d? The national spelling bee declared two winners as a tie for first place because they ran out of words. Really? They really ran out of words on some official list. Like, um, maybe they didn't have time to find more words? Yes, that's probably it.

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Why did my dog come into the kitchen to complain just now? Because I had not quite made it into the livingroom to sit down beside him to drink my coffee so I could be there to watch him tackle his brand new chewbone.

There are priorities.

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I get a call from my favorite auto mechanic.

"The blower on your wife's car needs to be replaced."

I respond, "What? I didn't know anything about it."

He responds, "Is this Ernie?" (He has known me for at least twenty years.)

I respond yes, and then I ask what make of vehicle; I have a Mountaineer, black.

He responds, "No, this is a different car. I could have sworn that was your wife. Maybe it was a different 'Ernie'."

I ask him, "Do I still have to pay for the repair?" teasing him with a serious voice.

He responds with a no, and I hope he thought I was teasing him and I laughed, so maybe ....

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Spring is getting better. My grape vines appear to be going to give us some grapes this year. It has warmed up enough so the pineapple plantation can move outside. We are finally getting some rain, but way behind for a typical year.

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Just as I was falling asleep I get a strange question pop into my head: Is today Joseph Conrad's birthday?

Today is June 1st and Joseph Conrad's birthday was December 3rd, 1857. That is almost half a year off, I couldn't have been much more wrong than that.

Maybe I was thinking of a different Joseph Conrad.