Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2015-08-30

Did You Ask Jesus To Fix Your Frig?

A customer of my wife was getting his hair cut and telling us about the problems he was having with his refrigerator. The door between the freezer and refrigeration sections is stuck open so he manually has to adjust things from time to time.


Then the spouse of the customer says, "Well, we aren't buying any more appliances because Jesus is coming back real soon!"

It took me quite a bit of effort to keep from smiling then laughing.

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Donald Trump isn't in favor of passing tighter gun laws but he is wanting to address mental health issues behind the violent attacks in our society. He wants to make it easier to get insane people off the street and get them help.

I totally agree. My first suggestion is to use this to get Donald Trump locked up in an insane asylum.

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Sometimes I totally get things confused by switching a word to a noun instead of a verb or vice versa. In the following headline I interpretted 'surfaces' as a noun.


I was trying to imagine what the effect or purpose was to use 2000 surfaces to display something.

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Now Sarah Palin wants to be Donald's Secretary of Energy. I can only stand to listen to her for just so long. What I would like is for Sarah Palin to take an IQ test. If she scores below 85, then I would like her to go find a cabin somewhere deep deep in Alaska and stay there for the rest of her days, and stop entertaining us.

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I had a terrible dream last night. Everything in my house was eXtremely organized.

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So there was an idiot wannabe terrorist in Maryland who sent a message on social media to kill all the white people. At least that is what they reported in the headline and they have him in police custody and charged him with a crime. BUT I noticed that he speLLed 'people' with PPL, so maybe he wiLL get off with that technicality. Maybe he didn't like white PVC piping, and he wanted to kill all the white 'PiPeLines' ? It could just be a major plumbing issue ... thoughts don't flow ProPerLy through his brain.



8 comments:

Lily Jo said...

I think he just failed pilot school and was saying kill all the people that issue Private Pilot Licenses.

esbboston said...

Lily Jo: Did you happen to see his photograph in the news? He looked rather angry and rather non-pilot-ish. I am not sure what kinda Ish he is.

fmcgmccllc said...

Been off the grid for a bit, PVC pipe and all, God does not care if you have a frig or not.

esbboston said...

fmcgmccllc: What?!?!? God? No? Frig? And just how am I to keep my beer cold. A theist and an atheist walk into a bar ... the bartender looks at them and says, "Do you know what really separates you two? A space."

Badger said...

Well Ms Palin said that God is coming back because of Planned Parenthood. It seems like a long trip just for that.

esbboston said...

Badger: Well!!!! That is sum-thin', knowin' that Palin has God comin' back for more family plannin', - do you think he is planning to adopt or have another by unnatural childbirth? I am not sure whether to use non-, a-, or un- prefix with the natural. I sure hope the govt isn't shut down when he comes, or that may delay his trip. I heard Elizabeth Warren was going to fight Ted The Cruz about PP'hood. They need to sell tickets to that event. After watching Cruz get stymied in getting access to the stage last week during the KY rally, I look forward to his neXt physical confrontation.

Rob Z Tobor said...

I missed a post Mr ESB how did I manage that, I think it is probably a time issue thing as I time manage my days badly leading to a life of inefficiency. I have never heard that the return of Jesus will mean all our kitchen appliances will be saved. I will remember this so that when my wife says that toaster needs to be replaced I can argue that it will soon be like new.

Trump and Palin WOW you Americans dont do stuff by halves. If they get in I will be hiding or staying close to my kitchen appliances.

We have quite a lot of White piping in our house so I hope the terrorist is not planning to come to rural Britain.

We have had to empty the kitchen diner today as they (chaps from afar) fit a new vinyl floor so I am unable to access part of our house at present which is a bit odd. I am not a fan of having strangers in the house but they seem friendly.

esbboston said...

Rob: I try to keep a couple tabs of my browser on the veRy left side strictly for my favorite places, then I can click on them periodically. These last few weeks have been brutally busy but I know I get to leave for South Dakota in the near future, so that will be a nice time off and then later we are going to south Texas to spend time with the granddaughter. I usually get to enjoy being outdoors more in September but they changed all the local school "Homecoming" seasons for football to this month for the three main cities we service, so that is why we are busy, and that has to be worked into the flow of the routine business. I definitely understand home repairs. I dislike having strangers in my house. We have a new housecleaner who comes by once a week, so Cooper is delighted to have a new friend. Of course he adores practically any adult woman.

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