Hank Idiot Johnson Versus The Guam

See the following video:

Okay, I didn't know you could be this STUPID and be a member of congress. But I was wrong.

When I watch this video a small portion of my brain hurts really bad and weeps for the poor embarrassed people of the 4th Congressional District of the fine state of Georgia USA, but then the vast majority of my brain overrules it and says, "Shut up!, let's watch it again!"

I think that Congress should pass a law that when a parent discovers that their child is numerically and scientifically this stupid they should be required, or at least be given the option, to legally rename their child HANK IDIOT JOHNSON so that from that point forward everyone will know what NOT to expect. Boy or girl, it doesn't matter. And anyone who is currently named "Hank Johnson" would be able to get a new less embarrassing name, again for free. And then make an island where all the Hank Idiot Johnsons can move to, but make sure it is a sturdy island, not one made from scary flimsy coral reefs (well, scary to HIJ's)

I think I just remembered something - wasn't 'Johnson' the last name of the people who lived in Rock Ridge in the movie 'Blazing Saddles'? Yes, wikipedia confirmed it for me - everyone's last name was Johnson.

Disclaimer: This is NOT meant to put down everyone who has a name of Johnson. There are many fine Johnsons out there and I am pretty sure I know a few good ones and some pretty fine ones, at that. Its just that this particular congressman has ruined it forever for the two words Hank and Johnson to be right next to each other. There may even be some future down side to being named 'John Hankson' or just even being the son of a John Hank.

It could be that the fine congressman watched the movie Joe Versus the Volcano one time too many, and there is a suddenly sinking island (although volcanic) in that movie and someone named "Hanks" in the starring role, and Meg Ryan playing three parts and mind muddle moments later ... he thought it was a PBS documentary?

"They" are now trying to put a PR spin on the incident saying that he was talking about the ecosystem and was using a facetious metaphor (ref wikipedia), BUT when you listen and watch very carefully he makes motions with his upper body indicating he fears an actual tipping over of the island, and he has a very serious look of concern on his face, both at this point in the conversation and then later as he rambles on about global warming et al:

Congressman Hank Johnson from Georgia:

"My..my fear is that uh the whole island will uh become so overly populated

that it will tip over and uh and capsize"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hank_Johnson

Oh, I almost forgot something. While I was driving across town earlier today I wrote this joke, which I am simply inserting new names and places into someone else's original art. I think the original people were Aggies and the places were Texas and Oklahoma. So here goes my latest reincarnation of the joke:

Did you hear that when Rep Hank Johnson travels from Georgia to Washington DC, he causes the average IQ in both places to go UP?

(To go along with today's Georgia theme, I used Georgia for my font instead of my latest favorite Trebuchet, which, ironically I learned about while trying to decipher what font was used on a letter that I had received from the state of Georgia last year. For this section I continued on with a peach color background as well, same reason. 

2010.04.04 MUSICAL UPDATE: Later in the day I cracked up laughing again anew as I started working on a fresh set of lyrics for the 'This Is My Handle, This Is My Spout' song, only, tip me over and people fall out.)