I was at the doctor's office having some memory and cognitive reasoning checks.
I was doing remarkably well.
We got to this test where the doc asked me to count backwards from 100 in steps of 7, and his last part was, "... and see how far you can go."
Well, 14 x 7 = 98, and 100 - 98 = 2 .... so when I got to 2 the doc said, "That's great, now lets go on to ..."
But I ignored him and went into negative numbers
"-5"
"-12"
And the doc rudely interrupted trying to make me stop. But I remembered having to wait in the Waiting Room for an extra hour and a half beyond my scheduled appointment, and I decided it was time to waste a little of the doctor's time.
"-19"
"-26"
"Really, umm, Mr. Boston we really need to ..
"-33"
".. move on to the next tests .."
"-40"
In a quiet voice he told his nurse to get a needle filled with something .... I figured probably for me.
I pulled out a .45 automatic model 1911, and laid it on the counter and told the surprised doc that this caliber of handgun isn't divisible by seven but I did have seven shells in the magazine while loading the eighth shell into the firing chamber. But the model number 1911 is divisible by seven.
"Doc, your instructions were to count backwards from 100 by seven and see how far I could go. So we are going to be here a while. The nurse can leave."
"-47" ... ... ...
I got out my calculator to see how fast I needed to go to reach -600 in an hour and a half, and then paced myself. I thought a nice even group of 100 subtractions would suffice and be agonizingly slow.
I didn't tell him I planned to stop at -600.
It turns out that an hour and a half listening to a person count backwards by seven irritates a SWAT team, too.
So now you know why I will be gone for a long time to a special hospital with bars on the windows for the criminally insane.
(None of this story is true, but I did create the story plot with the negative numbers idea while talking to my mother about her recent doctor visit, so, special thanks to her.)
I was doing remarkably well.
We got to this test where the doc asked me to count backwards from 100 in steps of 7, and his last part was, "... and see how far you can go."
Well, 14 x 7 = 98, and 100 - 98 = 2 .... so when I got to 2 the doc said, "That's great, now lets go on to ..."
But I ignored him and went into negative numbers
"-5"
"-12"
And the doc rudely interrupted trying to make me stop. But I remembered having to wait in the Waiting Room for an extra hour and a half beyond my scheduled appointment, and I decided it was time to waste a little of the doctor's time.
"-19"
"-26"
"Really, umm, Mr. Boston we really need to ..
"-33"
".. move on to the next tests .."
"-40"
In a quiet voice he told his nurse to get a needle filled with something .... I figured probably for me.
I pulled out a .45 automatic model 1911, and laid it on the counter and told the surprised doc that this caliber of handgun isn't divisible by seven but I did have seven shells in the magazine while loading the eighth shell into the firing chamber. But the model number 1911 is divisible by seven.
"Doc, your instructions were to count backwards from 100 by seven and see how far I could go. So we are going to be here a while. The nurse can leave."
"-47" ... ... ...
I got out my calculator to see how fast I needed to go to reach -600 in an hour and a half, and then paced myself. I thought a nice even group of 100 subtractions would suffice and be agonizingly slow.
I didn't tell him I planned to stop at -600.
It turns out that an hour and a half listening to a person count backwards by seven irritates a SWAT team, too.
So now you know why I will be gone for a long time to a special hospital with bars on the windows for the criminally insane.
(None of this story is true, but I did create the story plot with the negative numbers idea while talking to my mother about her recent doctor visit, so, special thanks to her.)
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6 comments:
I think if some said to me count backwards from 100 in 7's I would laugh hysterically for an hour and them run away. Its not all bad though because I can count backwards from minus 100 in minus 1's (?) I think...
Rob: My my, it appears that the minds of us have several ways of minus-ing.
Hope you are having a cooler day, we are s'pposed to get some moisture over the neXt four days and cooler temps. I think I saw 108 F (42 C) yesterday, but I was delirious from the heat, so it could just as easily been 810 or 801 F.
Rob: I was checking your weather and saw that you have a city near you named Hereford. Borger has a city nearby with the name Hereford, only our Hereford has many many cattle feeders and therefore Hereford is veRy odoriferous. Luckily it is 100 miles away.
We are cooler than you but it is hot.
I have a member of my family who lives just outside the UK Hereford. We lost contact years ago when they lived in Aberdeen but sort of found each other again via cyberspace and then discovered we had both moved to the same part of Britain so we are only 30ish miles apart again.
One of Britain's best know breeds of cattle is the Hereford Cow...
I just tried that and got all the way past zero. I may got a couple wrong, but I counted internally so nobody noticed.... apart from the confused and strained look on my face, but I often look like that. hahaha
Rob: A couple of my relatives have raised and sold registered Hereford breeding cattle stock.
Bumferry H.: I am often constrained and fused looking.
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