Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2013-11-13

The Recent E

My wife's assistant asked me what sounded good for lunch. 

I replied, "Tiger with Mushroom Sauce?"

Her reply was, "I don't do mushrooms."

I laughed for ten minutes ... 

My assistant laughed harder but more brief than me. 

(I am not sure if she knows that she is my assistant)

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I walk in the door at MY place of business just as the UPS delivery lady is trying to squeeze through the same front door as me. My wife's assistant tells me, "Pops, she is here to take you away (they aLL giggle)" and without saying a word I turn around leaving the store as my wife semi-yells out, "Get your butt back in here!!!"

I tell the UPS lady what they told me and the UPS lady gives me her reply and grins. I walk back into the store 8 seconds later with my head down and fake eXtreme sadness. They ask me, "What, - they didn't want you? (more giggles)"

I reply, "No, worse, she said I was over her weight limit" - even more giggles - "I am going back to my office to commit suicide." - louder giggles mixed with groans.

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Someone commented about me wearing shorts on this cool Novembrrr day. I replied, "But these are my longer shorts."

(Well, they are a half inch longer than the shorter shorts. At least they protect my kneecaps.)

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I am driving home after a veRy long day and I crack up laughing.

Why? ... Chicken

I just realized that my wife told me she was going home to make a fried chicken dinner AND I realize this is going to be my fourth meal in this long day AND every meal was/is chicken based.

I wasn't sure if this has ever happened to me before. Deli chicken sandwich, chicken noodle soup, grilled chicken salad at Shannon's, and now fried chicken.

Luckily pork chops prevailed and The Wife had changed her mind before I got home.

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Is it appropriate to teLL your jar of sauer kraut, "I love you" ? (I whispered it so Cooper or Tamie would not be jealous.)

My typical sandwich:

Deli Turkey, Mesquite Smoked
Mrs Baird Honey Wheat Bread with Miracle Whip
Sauer Kraut
Sliced Tomatoes
Pepper Jack Cheese
Boar's Head Brand Smoked Gouda Cheese

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The title of this post was s'pposed to be 'The Recent Me' -  but my reäl keyboard ied and the on-screen eybord is unrliable. 

Repaired:
The title of this post was s'pposed to be 'The Recent Me' -  but my real keyboard died and the on-screen keybord is unreliable.

6 comments:

Rob Z Tobor said...

Hello Mr ESB or the Recent ESB as I suspect you had in mind for a nano-second before then thinking that you had thought ME as you wrote E and then thought hang on where has that M gone not realizing you really planned to add SB.

It is far too cold for shorts here in fact I may resort to thermal underwear soon as it is damp grey and in single figure degrees Celsius.

Three chickens and a pig in one day is ten legs, four heads, six wings and a tail (I did not count the chickens tails as they are constructed of feathers).

fmcgmccllc said...

I saw a guy here at one of the plants wearing shorts this week and I almost fell over. We are talking 30 to 40 degrees and was in cotton shorts. Whoa daddy.

Marianne said...

You guys with the shorts in November! My husband does that and now all 3 boys are begging to do the same (despite it being 25 degrees yesterday morning). I take my tiger medium-rare. You know. Just so you're aware.

esbboston said...

I saw that people actuaLLy argue about whether chickens have tails. I don't know if anyone has actuaLLy died for their side in the argument.

esbboston said...

So, um, did you reaLLy get close enough to read the fabric content tag OR did you do what I would have done and got a sample of the fabric -snip snip- and have it analyzed

esbboston said...

With me it isn't dealing with the cold outside but it is bearing too much heat indoors, my legs are sensitive.

One of my closest friends from childhood is turning a decades old birthday in a couple weeks and I have been assembling her present"s" for the last 5 1/2 years, and there is a bit of Tigger theme to my madness.

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