My Driver's License Has 'Abraham Norman Albertson', But My Friends Just Call Me 'Ab Norm Al'

YeA! I got to be a good boy today and be "The Returner of A Lost Wallet" at the grocery store. [{(Of course, looking back on the event I now realize it would have been nicer if I would have left the credit cards and cash in the wallet as well)}]

{&^)-

Hopefully you know I returned the whole thing!!! I didn't even open it but gave it to management.

My East Coast friend responded that she knew that I would have returned the wallet. A random act of kindness!

So while still in my wonderfully cheery mood, I wrote this story as a response. I had started working on it earlier in the day right before finding the wallet.

Title: My Driver's License Has 'Abraham Norman Albertson', 

But My Friends Just Call Me 'Ab Norm Al'

I got called into the office today. I was so excited, I thought, "WOW!!! first day on the job defending my small part of the world against terrorists, and the like", and thought maybe I am getting a commendation, I was elated!

I burst into manager's office and started thanking him for letting me participate in the greatest job in the world - but then he cut me off with a perplexed look on his face.

"Norm, we are going to have to let you go" - he sighed

"What?!?!? After only ONE day on the job? After all the wonderful acts of heroism today? Its tough being a security guard here at Wal-Mart", I exclaimed

"NORM!!! This is going to be the FOURTH time today I tell you that you are NOT a security guard! We hired you to bring the baskets back in from the parking lot! I have no idea how you got hired! And why did you have to tackle, tazer and handcuff that elderly lady at the front door who was coming IN the store just now?!?!?"

"She came in through the Exit Door and I asked her to leave and come back in through the proper Entrance and she started to get rude with me"

"NORM!!! That was the WIFE of the district manager of Wal-Mart!"

I replied, "Yes, I know, and she's my mother, too"