Tiny Twin Twiga

Twin baby giraffes were recently born in northeast China. The news report stated that they expect to be named sometime soon in April. If I had to pick between those two, I think I would choose "Sometime Soon" rather than "In April", because it fits better with their procrastination. But 四月 looks more like a giraffe than 在不久的 from a distance.

I think the Chinese word for four 四 looks like a pair of feet of a giraffe viewed on a teleBision and the word for moon or month 月 looks like the bottom 5/8 of a giraffe, sans neck, tail and head. Just visualize a giraffe in fog or eating in a tree or both.

Four + month = April

Hmmm, now I think the middle part of Sometime Soon,

不久

looks like a giraffe eating a tree.

My favorite Kiswahili word for obvious reasons is 'twiga' for giraffe.

A Swarm of Barbered Bobbed Biebers

‎

(Private Note to Self: If the newly barbered Bieber is creating a news story just for a haircut, I had better not tell anyone I trimmed my moustache yesterday)

One of my friends told me that it didn't work - my "private" note to self in Facebook wasn't private at all, which, of course I already knew, and which she already knew that I already knew!

[WHAT!!! I thought if I put ( ) doo-hickeys around my entire status then maybe it would be private just to myself, it must have been the [ ] doo-hickeys instead that make that feature work. I'm sure glad that this is now totally private, and it's a good thing I didn't slip and tell people that my moustache is really two very old, well-trained fuzzy caterpillars]

I was going to use the words "CAUTION barbered bobbed Bieber" but I wasn't sure what kind of haircut he has mainly because I didn't actually read the "news" story, just the headline. I was also b afraid it might hurt b peoples tongues or they b might sound like Bing Crosby with b a swarm of b's being that close b together. Having the multiple b's embedded in the words is where it's tongue tangle-ly dangerous but that last sentence shows that individually they are just a nuisance.

Am I Awake? I Shake

2 AM (again) (awake)

In a dream just now I was playing hide and go seek with my wife in our living room and there was a gigantic sheet hanging from the ceiling. We were going back and forth being silly, momentarily out of sight from each other. Finally I stopped and waved. 

Then I woke up in bed and I could see my hand waving by the light of my iPad.

I thought that was weird. I stopped waving and put my hand down, then suddenly my wife popped her head up and looked at me. I asked her how she was doing. She didn't mention my hand waving, just, "oh, I'm just hot", and a few moments later she was asleep in the length of time it took me to type this .... ... .. .

I think that must be an important part of being married: 

To have someone to wave to every now and then.

&^)

Update: Oh, now I remember what my original title was for this story:

It's 2AM, Do You Know Where Your Hand Is?

Dream Link: The Next Dream in My Blog

A Reaaaaally Sad Story OR An Aardvark To The Rescue

This is the result of too much silliness between myself and a friend of a friend (FoaF). During our conversation I took on the role of an improvised incarcerated in-shackled insane inmate. It wasn't too much of a stretch from my normal daily life, (wink!), then I asked him:

Do you want to hear a reaaaaally sad story?

On Tuesdays they give you a choice of either getting a pillow or a Teddy Bear in your cell, and so when I first got here and they offered me The Tuesday Choice, I chose "BOTH!" but they said I was greedy and so I didn't get either one for 26 weeks.

And the guards would wander by and say things like, "don't you wish you had a Teddy Bear?" - at first I was saddened, but then I got even with the guards by quoting Theodore Roosevelt and imitating his voice, first small bits and pieces then launching into long sections of memorized speeches - soon they were so impressed they would let me have their Teddy Bear for a few moments when they knew the warden-doctor was taking his evening meal.

End Of Sad Story

Now I think he thinks I'm really cwazeee!

Then I "drew" a single frame cartoon using just words to describe ants getting cow hairs when a different friend of the same friend created the word "in-cow-hair-ant" from incoherent after he read my prison-asylum-TR tale without the help of his morning coffee. But I don't have a caption for the cartoon yet.

I just now realized that I am not sure if I have ever met any of these three people in real life, except the second FoaF very briefly when my kids were in high school.

After my cartoon the first FoaF indicated to the friend that I was crazy but then the second FoaF came to my rescue when he created his own equally bizarre single frame cartoon with just words involving a Dean Martin ant taunting a Jackie Mason aardvark with cow hairs with The Pink Panther theme music. You just never know when an aardvark is going to be used in a rescue attempt, it happens to me so rarely that I forget about it until the next time it happens!

With Friends of Friends like this, who needs Friends?

Get Your Mind Into The Gutter Of The Gutter

My Plumbing Invention: To safeguard against leaks in pipes you could install a system of connected trays, like a rain gutter, under the pipes that would channel any leakage to a centralized location for easier monitoring. But then I thought, "What if there is a leak in the SOCT?"

Then I thought you could just add a SECOND system of connected trays, a wider rain gutter under the first rain gutter, SSOCTuSOCT. Now I just need some Dr. Suess type rhymes and pictures to explain and diagram before sending it to the Patent Office.

My friend Tony asked: why not just build an all concrete house with a cone bottom and a french drain?

My response to Tony was: French dries? How about American dries instead?

So then I read about French Drains - see Wikipedia Article: French Drain

Follow Up Response: Oh, THAT kind of French Drain, no, I thought you said 'dryin', a French Drain is far down in the ground and out of sight. The SOCT and SSOCT are elaborate in your face Picasso-esque structures bordering on the physics of Salvador Dalí with a touch of M.C. Escher.

Texas English is a wonderful thing - drain & dryin are almost homonyms. Several years ago at an art exhibit I overheard a bit of confusion between the artist and a customer, one of them said "monkey wrench" and the other heard "monkey ranch", and they had to go back and forth a little bit to get the correct translation, then they both erupted in laughter, which required no translation.

Invention Link: The Next Invention in My Blog

Tropic Cantor Arranged Juice

Wife - "I've watched that Tropicana orange juice commercial several times and they say they put 16 oranges in a carton but I've counted several times and I only see 15 jump into the carton"
Me - "You are slowly becoming me"


Link to YouTube video of the commercial

I've now watched the video several times in YouTube with the advantage of a pause and rewind button, and I think that oranges number 11 and 12 just happen to go in very close to each other, with a total of 16 oranges. But there might possibly be one time in the animation where there is an indication of a TOTAL of 17 oranges on the grassy knoll, oops, I mean the table top, but only 16 actually jump in, and the Cuban hit man orange zips away. Notice how that one very smooth orange comes rolling around the back side to the right near the beginning, probably not part of the original pack, late for the "shooting" of the commercial, possibly not even from Florida, maybe a Texan orange?

The Multiple Hammer Household

Time: 3 Minutes After Midnight
Date: Who Cares
Place: My Pillow

I was going to say, "See y'all tomorrow", but it already is.

I am totally exhausted but can't go to sleep and now Cooper is barking at something, hopefully the something, or possibly the nothing, is outside. It would be just my luck that he is barking at a giant sleeping pill that is afraid of dogs, and it sensed I was having trouble going to sleep and it was coming to rescue me from me, but now it is a stilled chilled pill outside my window sill.

‎"so now the wife is getting the hammer" to knock me in the head so I can go to sleep. Her words and suggestion, not mine. Yes, that's right, she actually called herself "the wife", plus I am confused by her use of a definite article "the" instead of the indefinite article "a" as a descriptor for the word "hammer".

One thing at a time, one thing at a time.

She must have a particular hammer in mind. We are a multiple hammer household. Too bad we don't have a rubber mallet, that would be a slightly better choice. I should remind her that I seem to prefer bruises on the right side of my body, for some unknown reason, but I think she has already fallen asleep. Oops, doggie is barking again.

New plumbing problem: I think a water line to the shower is now leaking.

Help!!!

When Pork Tamales Are The Cure

Ever so slowly becoming less and less totally and completely exhausted.

I just noticed at least one wild deranged moustache hair, so I'm less pretty as well.

I feel like crying and laughing at the same time. The crying part is totally understandable and the laughter is a complete mystery. I have a sneaking suspicion that these warmed up pork tamales mixed with Pork N Beans accompanied by this cup of hot black coffee in a blue cup should take care of my body which feels but isn't black and blue, just scraped in a few places, sore, with little clumps of PVC glue showing up in strange places.

Ah, I just realized the missing ingredient after the first bite: BBQ Sauce! Yes ....

Discovery: Bruise - I did find a black and blue spot on my right arm, but it is very small, high up covered by my shirt sleeve and it certainly didn't seem to cause any interference with my ability to eat, drink or be merry, well, maybe the merry part, a little. Hopefully today will be the last day for this project, it just depends on what's behind wall number six. A special thanks to all the people out there helping me on my teflon tape journey.

One If By Land, 31 If By Sea

Some math to do on your fingers (but first some news):

NEWS FLASH - Thirty-one North Koreans arrive in South Korea after crossing the Yellow Sea by boat.

(Recently, I don't know when - reference: Yonhap News)

If we could just get this to happen once a day, NoKor could be completely empty in the year 4135 on April 2nd at 5:41 PM

(Why, of course I used a spreadsheet! You would not have expected inaccuracy from me, right?)

Of course this math assumes very exact birth control. I tend to think of NoKor as a form of birth control all by itself.

Supposedly that Apr 2nd day in the far far distant future is a Saturday. That would be a fitting nice way to end a work week, the closing down of NoKor. 

It could become a forest, maybe?