Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.



Dessert Boy Gets An Extra Helping of Scam-nesia

There are several things wrong.

I wiLL teLL you about three wr0ng things in reverse order, the order that I discovered them.

The latest fashion trend (?) that I saw on teleBision is caLLed Trendy Top. It is like a giant tight cloth tube that women can wear over the top of the pants and covering their middle section, so that their body doesn't show when they bend over. I applaud the inventors, but it reaLLy has the wrong name. It is located on the MIDDLE of the person, so it should be caLLed the Trendy Middle, not Trendy Top.

The second thing that is wr0ng is this news story about the Forest Boy of Germany. I just found out about him AFTER they discovered he was a hoax. That was strange. But I am making preparations to now do the same thing. WeLL, not eXactly the same thing. I have grown tired of my current life and so I am running away. All this blogging, seLLing shoes, and re-tired-ment has gotten to me. We don't get much rain here, we make up for it with wind, so those two multiplied together mean No Forest Near Here, so I can't be a Forest Boy. So I am thinking I could probably wander off to New Mexico and become 'Desert Boy'. So sometime neXt year you can eXpect me to show up in Albuquerque, but I'm not sure eXactly what fake story I wiLL claim.

The third thing that is wr0ng is that I didn't know Oklahoma City had a professional basketbaLL team, the ones who used to be in Seattle. I wonder how I missed this? What is even worse, for those who know my meat favorites, the team has a mascot of a BUFFALO. And everyone knows how crazy I am about everything that is Bison bison. I even have multiple friends in Seattle who probably mentioned the Supersonics leaving their city! (The Supersonics became the OKC Thunder) But I reaLLy pay no attention to sports, I have absolutely no idea who has won any Super Bowl in the last ten years. I stopped watching basketbaLL when Michael quit. Soccer? Hah.(Just in case you need clarification, I meant Michael Jordan)

So maybe when I show up neXt year in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I wiLL try to mix a little scam-nesia with buffalo-ness wearing a Trendy Top under my buffalo robe speaking only very bad Portuguese that authorities wiLL mistake for Spanish and maybe try to deport me "back" to old Mexico. Dessert Boy. All the other hobos wiLL be jealous of my ESL lessons and food stamps. If I spout off enough nuclear physics nonsense maybe they'll think I am an escapee from a lab in nearby Los Alamos?

(hahaha - I just saw I had a great typo, I caLLed myself Dessert Boy instead of Desert Boy. You should just be glad I speLLed 'Albuquerque' correctly.)

I like my new word: scam-nesia


Rob Z Tobor said...

Hi Mr ESB I have never heard of a trendy top but I live in the rolling hills of the English-Welsh border and trendy anything can take years to reach us here. To me it sounds like the boob tube only in a different position

And American sport is a mystery to us Europeans so I am unable to make witty remarks on the grounds of compete ignorance of anything sporty.

Luckily though your thought of becoming desert or dessert boy I find exceedingly interesting because I can never work out which is which in my head and nearly always get it wrong. And therefore highly recommend Buffalo Ice-Cream which I first discovered on the Welsh coast, where there are waves although not Mexican waves.

I have a friend who drives trucks who I call Mexican Dave because he always waves when I see him.

I also like your new word, Mexican Dave drives a Scania truck by the way which looks a bit like your word. Well the word Scania does not the truck in person

You could smuggle a lot of Mexicans over the border in a Scania truck....... Which might then be a Scam-nesia

I better go before this gets rather boring

Marianne said...

I like your new word too. I think you should patten it. Patton it? Pattin it? Geez, I suck at spelling.

esbboston said...

Marianne: Its quite apparent I should put in for a patent, as scam-nesia is so beneficial in so many fields, from politics to stocks and bonds, WaLL Pennsylvania Madison Street Ad-venues, it could easily be the word of the year, as I fear the cram pac-ked teleBision commercials in an election period shaLL lead to a massive desire for an inteLLectual auditory coma.

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