Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

esbb

2015-01-10

Threads, Needles, Time Machines and My Tiny Buffalo

I had a dream where I was having a telephone conversation with my older sister, who lives 888 miles away in real life. She kept insisting loudly that she needs to come spend two weeks with me in order to get to know me better. I am veRy much against this idea and I am teLLing her veRy loudly. I don't want her to know me, I keep saying. 

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A friend asked me if I had anything to stop the wind. I replied: 

Me, arms outstretched I slow it a little.

A billion of me flapping our arms in a concerted manner might even reverse the wind direction. 

Each one of the me's has 'two' hands and arms. 

Each one of me represents a billionth, which has a math science expression of 'nano'. 

So this wind that the billion me's create would be called a: 
two-nano-me

Not to be confused with a tsunami

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Here is something bizarre about Amazon.com
I order some toe socks to wear with my Vibrams. I have never had problems in the past. This is probably my fourth time to order socks.
This order arrives one day late, possibly because it passed through the post office instead of UPS.
The socks arrive dirty! They appear to be new unworn socks, yet soiled.
I get an e-mail from Amazon asking about packaging for this exact order less than a day after it arrives.
I fill out their online survey about my problem. BUT ... at the end of the process I am informed that I don't have any recent orders that qualify for my information to be applicable. 
Big question mark in my brain.

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I am suspicious that the Post Office has a time machine. I got a notice from a thread supplier that my order was being shipped 3 hours ago, BUT the tracking information from the Post Office says that a shipping label WAS (past tense) created in Colorado at 3:23 PM Mountain Time, which is almost 4 hours from now in the FUTURE. This must have something to do with the String Theory in physics. If so, practicaLLy aLL my string for this order is a shade of pink.

To add to the time confusion part of the order is back-ordered.

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In FaceBook I posted this without eXplaining it was my dumb joke of the day:

Someone made a terrible mistake. I bought some hay to feed my buffalo and it was 85% needles.

A relative from Idaho asked if I really had a buffalo. 

I eXplained to her that it was just a "needle in a haystack joke", and no, my buffalo comes 1 pound at a time vacuum sealed from North Dakota.

9 comments:

Rob Z Tobor said...

Are the billion of you standing facing into the wind or with your back to the wind. I am assuming you are planning on creating staggered lines of you to create the greatest resistance. Although this might put your hands behind the you in front of you making the flapping of hands less effective.

esbboston said...

Rob: I think the GigaMe wiLL have to do alot of calculations and eXperimentation to figure out the optimum configuration for creating a MeAsWeWind or GigaGust. I/We might be able to find work as a wind tunnel, wind funnel or crop drying.

Lily Jo said...

Oh lord, this post made me laugh! Really, I almost peed a little.
And why do you not have a google+ button??

esbboston said...

WeLL, I am glad it as just an Almost Urination. I didn't know I had the power to make people do that long distance, thousands of kilometers away. I guess instead of the word 'telekinesis' it would be 'telepeesis'. I hope that isn't already a real word. I won't teLL you what I was already doing when I opened the email to approve your comment.

esbboston said...

Lily: I guess the reason I don't have a google+ button is that I have no idea what a google+ button is. Perhaps I am t00 negative to have google+ button, more likely I am already t00 positive. It would upset the zen balance of the cosmic whatevernonsense for me to have one. If it is any indication veRy few of my shirts anymore have buttons, at least the ones I wear on a regular basis.

Ernest S B Boston, The Unbutton Life

fmcgmccllc said...

Happy New Year and all that. It is cold here and I fear it will get worse.

My Christmas stuff is still up and I feel so slobby.

esbboston said...

fmcgmccllc: Happy New Year to you and Michigan. We are getting busier after a break in action of the last couple weeks. I did have a first bloom pop open on my latest branch of my orchid a little more than a day ago but sadly lost an uncle yesterday. He was ninety, and a very nice person.

Bumferry Hogart said...

It is very late in the day for me, in fact it is very nearly tomorrow, but I am pretty pleased that my brain still has enough juice to understand the "needle in a haystack" joke.
I'm counting that as a win.

I hope the large question mark in your brain doesn't cause too much discomfort... (i have lots of little ones in mine and they all get caught up in each other - it gets very tangled in my head)

esbboston said...

Bumferry: Puncuation of vaRying sizes shapes and kind is always puncturing my brain unkindly making it leak info mation and misplacing r's.

I hope you are off to a veRy good year. I have managed not to kiLL anyone or anything but it veRy close at the previous intersection 3 blocks ago to the north when an idiot turned left right in front of me illegaLLy. My truck was much much larger than his too.

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