My 4th Collection of 100 Headlines, Status and Moments in Rhyme from MySpace, Facebook and Twitter
Other Collections of 100 Headlines:
400: The best part of waking up is Folgers in your throat.
399: The UN announced today that for the first time in history 1 billion people world wide face starvation. To make a greater awareness of the situation, they plan to have a day of fasting. Somehow this seems like a strange twisted logic, as it will just momentarily increase the number. It sounds to me like there were an extra billion people who should never have been born.
398: With every renovation project plan ahead to know at what point to quit, what level of quality to achieve, where to draw the line in the sandpaper.
397: Yea!!! Its November 13th, or better known to us as "International Do You Wanna Go Bowling With Me ? Day"
396: 3:20 AM - This is the wrong time of day for The Dog to be in an overly excited extremely, 'Go, Dog, Go!', happy mood ... He is finally okay. He is finally quiet. He is finally resting.
395: "The air outside is just far too cold, and I are fragile and I are old" - that is the 'lame' excuse I give my dog on below freezing weather mornings when he is begging for us to go outside to play. He seems to agree because he stops asking. (Don't complain about the misuse of the two 'are'-s; the intent poetic)
394: Just realized that "Dr. Awkward" is spelled the same forward as backwards a few hours ago.
393: Okay, this is a little strange: A TV commercial comes on showing how the product improves hair quality, and for a visual proof they turn the hair into a paint brush. Now I am busy thinking how to extend that logic of quality with other body parts & other products.
392: I wonder when the LAST time was that shooting suspect DOCTOR Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, MD of Ft Hood Texas remembered the medical training primary precept “FIRST, DO NO HARM” ?
391: While chatting with my wife while she is on the computer, just out of the blue I hear her say the following that has NOTHING to do with our conversation: "I can't find my brass knuckles - you would think they would be shimmery" (Relax: she was just playing a simple video game where named objects are hidden in some cluttered mess on the screen. Still, though, 'brass knuckles' ?!?!?)
390: Half of the world's problems would disappear if there was a proper allocation and distribution of the all the pillows. And then encourage napping on a regular basis.
389: I was going to eat the Italian sausage from my PH pizza in an elaborate manner using my customized micro food vacuum that removes 99% of the inside of the sausage piece leaving just a hollow sausage shell but then I realized I left it back at The Bat Cave.
388: Ironically and incompletely there are too many times when people say "allahu akbar" - Arabic for 'God is great' - when there needs to be an additional "but I am bad, very very bad."
387: The problem doesn't lie in living by a theory, we all do that; its the some who are willing to kill for a theory.
386: If you need something silly to read, try the wikipedia article for the city of Rajkot India. More later in comments ....
385: My early morning mobile Internet service by phone was more of an 'Enter Not' experience in exasperation.
384: A very sad day for the United States of America
383: Just in case it is useful to you, the word 'Newsstand' becomes 'puetssmaN' when rotated 180 degrees. That somehow felt like a 'The More You Know' public service announcement, but in dreamtime with sparkly colors and soft Yanni music at a low low level.
382: Playing 'Sock The Dog' can be fun for us two, its true, but not a very wise thing to do, at least from a gravitational point of view, while sitting on a free standing not-so-sturdy bar stool in the living room, for one of you, the bigger of the two, just might fall down and go boom.
381: Poof! I found a purple onion growing where I didn't expect it! It is coming inside for the winter!
380: MMmmm.... Chicken 'N Rice just came out of the oven!
379: Dear Country of Iraq: I hate you. Sincerely, Ernest
378: Every day completed is one day closer to the completed year and then every day after that will be one more to help forget that year.
377: I believe leftover Halloween candy must be dealt with by will power and self determination. I believe each piece of sugary goodness will provide some chemical power and my self will be busy determining which one is next from what is left in the pile. Power party in my mouth, mmmm …
376: I am not sure about everything going on in the Middle East. but it seems that Peace Talks have become Piece Takes. I will let you explore for your own definition as I continue my own journey of missing & emptiness and loss & sadness.
375: Sadness in Seattle. Police officer slain and another wounded
374: Confusing Cooper The Canine with Candy. Everytime I put a piece of this one particular new Halloween candy in my mouth then my dog has to sniff very close to my mouth. Wonka Shockers with Intense Sour Flavor by Nestle
373: H1N1appy H1N1alloween
372: Uneasy & Queasy But At Least I'm Not Sneezy
371: Okay, let me expand my list of things to avoid: a) Sneaky Sharks b) Islamic Terrorists c) Rabid Racoons ..and..now.. d) Killer Coyotes
370: Saddened to learn that an FBI dog was killed in Detroit in the line of duty in a shootout today with terrorist suspects. The dog's name was not mentioned. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his handlers, friends and family with this loss.
369: If you eat candy from your secret stash and you throw the wrapper in the trash can, be sure to put something else on top of that trash so your wife will never know unless of course she reads about it right here on Facebook but then it sets in a motion a jovial exploration. Ah, QFT, Quality Family Time.
368: "I did such a good job training you that you actually thought you trained yourself"
367: Peering into a pool of pain
366: Riddle Contest: The other day some mysterious inanimate thing flew and landed dangerously close just missing me. I hurriedly went to the flinged thing's rescue and said "DIE!!!" - then with the assistance of aluminum, I tried to find the fling thing owner, Flinger, while interrupting my previous mission for the Missus. (Can you guess what happened? Submit your own story and see how close you get to the real event)
365: Here is a current thermo-dumb-namic survey of my living room: The front window is cracked open, its cold outside, the ceiling fan is running, blowing the air downward, the air conditioner on the north wall is duking it out with the central heating that kicked on while the TV radiates a glow. At least the ceiling lights were turned out and nobody was home (in the living room).
364: This boy is in post gumbo glow :^°
363: When I was driving home the other evening from Dumas I thought I was going to have bad luck because I thought it was a black cat crossing my path, but fortunately it was just a skunk.
362: The time for chicken gumbo .. is .. now !!!
361: The section of the Borger TX High School that most closely resembled Guantamino Bay in both form and function has been reduced and rubblized by wrecking ball.
360: I have had to make a serious effort to stop talking to myself. It only confuses my dog. I can get away with it on the rare occasion when he is out of the room or if I am more quiet than his decibel level of ripping apart a chew toy as long as he is absorbed in the task at hand. Mumble, the key is to mumble ....
359: Twitter is all a Quitter today - periodically at overcapacity during the last several tries. Their visual message for system overload is a flock of birds holding a smiling whale suspended in mid-air by cords. Somehow I think that is not the image I would have chosen to let the world know "not now, later"
358: LOL - I just saw that someone answered the question "Do you think that Ernest S. B. Boston would look good in a mini-skirt?" with an answer of YES - perhaps they have poor vision/poor computer monitor and thought the question was asking about "look good in men's shirt"
357: Oh, the joy that is Texas, picking vine ripened tomatoes in late October.
356: There must be quite a bit of cross-pollination of the design engineers at General Electric across their myriad of manufacturing divisions. Our new clothes washer sounds a lot like a quiet jet engine landing. Oh, the magic of Echo-imagination.
355: Life is short - so are midgets. [(Slightly modified version of a sign I saw in a church parking lot. Its even more intriguing when you say it out loud: "Life is short - sore midgets"]
354: Its not how far you fall from grace and the TV ratings when they find out that your balloon thing was a family hoax, its the indictment that arrives by the sudden cop.
353: On days like today I could use a robot, a really strong robot, but preferably a girl robot. [Paint and chat, must be programmed to paint and chat, thats all I'm really looking for in a good girl robot, and must love dogs too.]
352: I hate tattoos. But I came up with an interesting idea yesterday. In California it is against the law to drive while talking on a cell phone. My tattoo idea is to have a giant tattoo on the left side of your head & neck that looks like you are holding a cell phone to your ear. Then you can talk on a cell phone while driving. When you get pulled over, put the real phone away & confuse the nice police officer.
351: So far my outdoor reading has been interrupted by a mosquito and then a bumblebee. I wonder what the next flying thing will be, maybe a fly or nuclear warhead tipped intercontinental ballistic missle. (That was strange: The keypad sequence of 647753 on my phone keypad doesn't show to have the word 'missle' in its built in dictionary. I wonder if I am misspelling 'missle'. I checked and ICBM isn't there as well)
350: Mommy, where are you? Are you okay in your new home in OKay-lah-home-ah? Please call Baby Bird #2 when it is convenient for you sometime after 4ish - I am tied up until then slaying numeric dragons. Love, esbb
349: My career as a writer is really taking off! At the end of 23 months of blogging using AdSense from Google, I had amassed 13 cents. Now 3 months farther down the road I am at 19 AdSense cents AND received a single philanthropic gift of 32 cents from one reader hand delivered all the way across the state of Texas. I am way ahead of my projected plan to become a millionaire by age 91 with a doubling period of 23 months
348: Somedays you are the enigma without even trying very hard and you don't even realize it yourself.
347: “And all this time I thought they were building a life together, she was really assembling the means of his death” - from the movie 'Under Things, Over Things, Every Things”
346: One month finished, eleven to go. Be safe, we miss you dearly. Hug.
345: Interesting 24 Hour Time Period. The exhaust fan above my kitchen stove went out last night while making supper. Then just now the electric motor on the clothes washing machine burned up, pumping ickiness into the air. And on a rare calm Texas Panhandle day without a breeze to help!
344: Warm puppy at my feet, warmer coffee at my right side, with a hot chicken and rice casserole fixing to pop out of the oven in a few minutes. That should wake her up for breakfast! MMmmm.... My secret minor ingredients for chicken and rice: a dash of Worcestershire sauce and drop of Tabasco Sauce. I tried it with pepper jack cheese instead of cheddar once, that was wonderful, but not the wifey's favorite taste.
343: Bubbles As Lens: Today I was making some hard boiled eggs. I noticed near the beginning of the boil that when the few tiny bubbles passed across the surface of the water they cast a bright spot on the white egg below.
342: I want to promote the fake scientific sounding conceptual theory of 'Color Magnetism' that I recently invented in a balloon story. The closer things are to being the same color, the stronger the attraction they have for one another. (Remember this is totally fictional although it does have some merit in animals who tend to be attracted to others who look like themselves)
341: Horror Zone Tall (→) Very Tickle
340: There is just something mystically wonderful about traveling at 60 mph that makes me think we should try to achieve it as often as possible even if it means installing a screensaver on your computer to simulate the experience.
339: F O G
338: My tomato plants are able to enjoy some October sun not knowing that hospice care is soon to come followed by a share of inhospitable ice as their round red orphan children come to reside on my table.
337: I think it is interesting that in the same time period for which Obama was being evaluated for the Nobel Pizza Prize he sent more troops to Iraq and Afghanistan.
336: Sometimes you realize that the only reason you seem to have at the moment for being sad is simply because so many, too many, of your dearest friends are deeply saddened.
335: The flies of October are even slower than the ones of September. Proof: I reached out and snagged one right out of the air with my bare hand - the first time I ever did that in my entire life. Perhaps I'm just getting in shape? After watching Obama do something similar during a TV interview, does this feat help qualify me for the position of President of the United States of America?
334: My Aged Dame is in a slightly damaged state (injury) - when I said something just now it made her laugh. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts" I told her I was merely repeating the words of a young African inventor that she had already heard on TV last night, so actually his words were already in her brain, I just did a scream screen refresh.
333: "Its too soon to say if its too late" - from a quote of Dr Thomas Frieden, director of the CDC, Center for Disease Control
332: SBS - Suicide By Soup - that was a lovely experience just now. Fortified can of gumbo, with fresh garden tomato cooked on the side with jalapeno and then additional chicken cooked in that side pan and a touch of brown sugar. I held on until my Dr Pepper fire extinguisher ran out and declared victory running through the streets. Women cried, children laughed and waved banners and men everywhere pondered my magic.
331: I have always found that if you are truly expecting someone to apologize to you it always helps to actually let the person know through a carefully written or verbal means of communication versus the process of just expecting them to pick it up through the nebulous act of reading your mind.
330: My vertical blinds vibrate in the slight wind of the hidden southern open window at one end and ripple northward the progressively dampened motion til there is nothing moving where the distance traveled by the disturbance dance has some function to the gust velocity, causing an unblinding of the blinds in slight fleeting oscillating pendulum cracks with morning light streaming inward momentarily blinding me
329: Mi ld ly in pa in
328: When the words "absoluting intimidately" pass through my brain as a well ordered pair, I think of you. Oh, sorry, I left off the 'and', there is always an 'and' but it is not always in the right place, sometimes at the beginning, sometimes at the end, sometimes it squeezes into the middle, saying "hi guys, whats up?" and then there are other times when we are just standing around waiting for breakfast and 'and' shows up with bloodshot eyes mumbling something about last night with 'or' and 'but' and 'with', ranting on about how adverbs are taking over the world, and we just ignore him and drink our coffee.
327: If anyone out there is a Wikipedia editor, and would like to help me keep the article about myself in place in wikipedia, then please help out with an "Accept" vote in the ungoing 'AdF' debate
326: Just remember that Rome wasn't built in a day - and wasn't even actually built by Romans - they had lotza slaves to do all the heavy lifting and all the dirty jobs, cooking, cleaning, baby sitting, grape stomping, dog walking, well, maybe not the dog walking ....
325: I love October in our part of the world, its not too brrr like Novem-brrr can some times be.
324: I awoke and heard words from Iraq very early this morning. Actually it was closer to being 'very very' AM rather than just 'very' AM and we did get clarification that the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil are the summer games, not the winter. But what about the 'Spring Olympics'? We enjoy our boy who is so far away and yet able to share giggles, what joy, what joy is contained within him; smile, big smile.
323: "If I knew you were coming I would have baked a cake" - well, actually I did know and that explains why my oven is preheating, and soon we will be eating, German Chocolate cake! (Its whats for breakfast, mmmm, I bet that'll get them up early)
322: There may be a big push and international clamor underway in Copenhagen to determine where the site of the 2016 Olympic Games are to be held, but I am busy in the process of trying to convince Wal-Mart Corporation of Bentonville that they need a store in Dzt TX, population 303. Ah, dream big, lets go for a supercenter AND a distribution center.
321: Its too bad you can't go back and un-find something(s).
320: I just had a dream about washing dishes in an automatic dishwasher. That sounds boring except for the part where there were Hostess Twinkies on the bottom shelf at the back right side.
319: From Craig Ferguson: "It's the sled - that joke's for five people in America"
318: If I had a van, I would be van going. Instead, I am just a painter in a pickup.
317: Your life can't possibly be all that bad if there is an occasional purchase of BBQ sauce in gallon quantities mixed in there somewhere....
316: supercaloriefragrantlyexce
315: I think it is cool that people read my writings from all over the world. But if they misunderstand my sense of humor (and some have) & become deeply angered & get together slowly plotting my demise, that wouldn't be cool. Unless of course, they were planning my mode of death to be by freezing (hopefully something spectacular with fireworks!) then that would be really cool. Hold it, I think I'm missing something here.
314: I was accidentally married to Lucille Ball for a very brief time period today, but I was totally unaware of the 'Oops! I Think Wrong Bottle of Hair Ink Event' until it was completely over. It is my understanding there are no pictures for chronological documentation, no paparazzi, no Tamie-razzi.
313: Coming soon, 'Scary Hairy Furry Fear' or, 'Ernest Accidentally Scares A Little Old Lady At Wal-Mart Just By Being Nice'
312:What time is it, Ernest? Time to shut down everything and watch the movie 'joe versus the volcano'. It has just been too long since the last time. (Notice that I paid attention to the title of the movie, its supposed to be in all lowercase)
311: Today's Non-Scientific Grand Conclusion: The house flies of September are much easier to swat/kill than the ones earlier in the year. I doubt that my skill of killing has improved, so I am attributing it to a combination of slightly colder weather and old age (of the flies). Or maybe my current cuisine is fattening them up or interfering with their internal gyroscope.
310: I am simultaneously washing dishes and dashing wishes.
309: The Space Shuttle Discovery was in Amarillo today hitchhiking its way back to Florida from California. Its mule, a special Boeing 747, had stopped for a bale of hay and some water.
308: Interesting day. My wife is losing it. She was in the kitchen and I heard her say "Move, please" in the soft, kind voiced phrase we usually use with Cooper our dog, only then she cracks up laughing, "I can't believe I was just now talking to a fly!!!"
307: E-"So this video game is just like your old one except for the insects" T-"No,{blah blah blah explanation}{a few minutes of game play} see what I mean?" E-"No, I wasn't really watching, I just happened to be looking in that direction"
306: I checked just now and you are not home. Where are you? I miss you.
305: My day of pie rating is over. Back to normal English. Time to find a pillow.
304: Shiver me 2 by 4's, it be international 'Speak Like A Pirate Day" !!!
303: "Say Tamie, what movie -NARF!!!- are we watching tonight to go to sleep by?" - "The same movie we watch every night, Ernie, 'The American President' starring Michael Douglas" - "Say Tamie, I wonder when they are going to make a new one starring President Break Yo Momma"
302: My wife is totally unimpressed with Facebook at the moment - she thinks she could find friends faster on a bicycle than FaBoo - and she doesn't even have a bicycle AND I would get a kick out of seeing her just TRY to ride a bicycle AND so would you, I'm thinking here comes a video opportunity for 'America's Funniest Videos'
301: Cooking experiment: Cooking bacon with Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce for my sandwich. [IF] you never hear from me again, [THEN] you'll know I was killed by spicy pig pieces interspersed in a chicken sandwich, complete w fresh tomatoes ... mmmm, spicy pig pieces ... spicy pig pieces ...
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