500: Iran, the country that sounds like an English sentence of personal mobility in the past tense, suddenly becomes very intense in the present, impersonable, imprisonable, while its government, which may stop running soon, blames the American and the English governments. They could rename themselves fittingly "I wreck" but that might confuse their neighbors to the west, who are already in their own state of I-wreck.
499: I typed "google is worthless and will soon disappear" into a Google search and it returned no results, so it must not be true. But "google is worthless" returns 85,000 hits.
498: I was just thinking about someone thinking, "Where do his thoughts come from?" and now won't they be surprised to find themselves in my latest thoughts about their hidden thoughts about my much older semi-public thoughts, so the double answer to that half question is a thought provoking both 'I don't' and 'know'. Good Night, somewhere, to someone far away, far far away, I miss you and you know who you are.
497: Mariah Carey has a new perfume named 'Forever', but one application of Forever doesn't last forever. A better more truthful name would be 'ForALittleWhile'.
496: I wonder if Twitter is dying
495: I think it is interesting that our USofA airport security gets tightened (i.e. more cost, time delays, personal space intrusion, etc) when the most recent terrorist activity appears to have been the fault of Amsterdam and/or Nigeria.
494: While cleaning the kitchen today I decided I needed to write a slogan. I wanted to equate being too skinny with looking funny/goofy as the major premise. Think think think. Slogan: Leanliness is next to Oddliness. (Actually that's not true, I wrote the slogan first, then worked backwards) Hi ho, hi ho, back to cleaning the kitchen … [Additional Comment 3 hours later:] … I go
493: Kauphphyy Tyme !!!! ... let's see now, hmmm, no cups, oh, this cylindrical bowl with the handle on the side will make a nice fine 'cup', and extra large too ... HMMM, no spoons to stir with, oh, the handle of this fork will do nicely, looks like I need to do dishes, but first ... Kauphphyy Tyme!!!
492: My 12 hours of [Christmas] headache are finally over! Not that I really picked a number beforehand as a target time length.
491: Driving Tip: Don't pass people or let others pass you in turning lanes. Debris collects there and it can crack a windshield.
490: I am up way too early on Christmas morning on not enough sleep working on way too many dirty dishes that some visitor left behind in my kitchen yesterday evening. Oh, I guess its okay since the visitor was The Wifey in the role of Santa Clausa. Presents come in all shapes and sizes (and spices), in this case: a cold case of several cubic inches of enchiladas sans queso.
489: Yesterday there was a dusting of snow frost iciness nestled in the crooks and crannies of the test plot for my wheat field. 65 seeds in one and a half square feet. Evenly spaced. Five rows. I wonder how much flour that much wheat seed could produce in the future, will it be more than the current volume of cold crook cranny dust? One and a half more math story problems to write ...
488: My Wife hands me a stack of photos of when she was young that I had never seen. I tell her "I like this one (interesting pose) with your mother in it on the couch with you and your sister" - and she responds, "you mean the one where we all look like we are boys - just look at those haircuts! What was my mother thinking?!?!?"
487: I notice strange alien fur on the living room carpet just as Wife got home. I recognize its most probably source. Dog tore up his Christmas present before it is even officially Christmas. Wife walks in the door, accuses me of being A Bad Daddy, not keeping track of the dog. Laughs. Wife begins teasing the dog. Dog growls. Dog does not drop what remains of his new squeak toy. The toy still works. Squeak squeak squeak
486: I saw that the city of Los Angeles California has a sister city in Mexico named Jalapa, the capital city of the state of Veracruz. I thought this next aspect was interesting and wonder if it caught anyone else's eye: the city of Jalapa has "LA" in the middle of it.
485: While working on an algebra problem solving 4 equations with 4 unknowns, I suddenly figured out how to not get sick with the H1N1 flu virus. Just stay away from any place it is.
484: 31 years ago during Christmas break I was way south in Mexico on a very old bus, filled with young people (my age!). The leader of the campus youth group, a very old man even then, who recently died, had married my parents close to 27 years before that trip. Today this older me was headed south in a busy WMT and saw one of my fellow passengers! I reminded her where we were long ago, and Debbie M. smiled: "30 years!"
483: Now that my dog has done such a good job learning to smile, I think it is time to start learning to laugh, bring out his inner hyena.
482: Here's an interesting way to disappoint a 4 year old with a Christmas gift: Accidentally buy the Charger instead of the V-Tech Game it powers. - "Nana, what's this for?" - only it wasn't Nana who gave the gift that keeps on giving. Visions of Energizer Bunnies go through my head, singing "fol-ly lol-ly laah, lah, lah, lah, laaaah"
481: Conversation fragment by an elderly local, overheard while shopping: "When I get my new underwear, I'm gonna have me an underwear burning party. It'll be a small party: just me, my old hole-y underwear, a trash can, a can of lighter fluid, - and a match"
480: Is now snow ing? Si, is now, is wow! Winter wins here, winter winds here? No, no winter winds here, winter won, winter sun went bye, and sky is now overcast ing, but we play outside, we run, we hide and have a ball, a blast, just as in our warm times past.
(Response next day: That one was fun, I wrote it in the backyard during our playtime typing it into my phone out in the cold. Today finds us on the other end of both the temperature and comfort scale, snuggled up warm in the dark in my recliner with fellow furry friend Cooper finally figuring out how to find a comfortable spot while I lay zig zag ed ly and listen to mainly stillness that sounds surprisingly like a distant thousand crickets a thousand feet away, interrupted by someone-thing-where driving by occasion'ly with the accompaniment of neighbor dogs alerting. My puppy stirs, woofs!!!, raises his head momentarily, but he knows a good thing and doesn't leave the comfort of our little 'topical' island of warm, fort of comfort, of cushion. Today I am reciting one of my favorite poems, it fits, 'Piano' by D. H. Lawrence, with winter outside.)
479: Cold Day, Warm Gumbo, Hot Coffee ... Bright Sunshine, Peace On Earth, Joy In House
478: What has made me laugh the hardest lately? I saw someone refer to the movie 'Avatar' as 'Dances With Smurfs"
(Follow up: Q: Would the correct plural be 'Smurvs'?)
477: Something New You Have Done for the First Time in Your Life: on Friday I moved a spider web. I noticed there was a string gleam in the sunlight, a single gossamer thread coming down from the ceiling light fixture in my library to the top branch of my tomato plant. I carefully took my finger and disconnected the strand from one branch and lasso'd it to a lower one.
476: There is no sphere in love, but perfect love casts out sphere, because sphere implies perfection, but it bounces back from rejection as a distorted cardio shaped thingie all pink and red and pulsing and beaten and bruised with usage, and aged and saged, that unites us, connects us, with old scars that remind us of Cupid's arrows long ago landed, and we see the connections, the path, do the mental math, and smile.
475: At last I am finally in the middle of my project of creating an audio book of the 1,059 page classic novel 'Atlas Shrugged' by Ayn Rand.
474: My wife can be confusing and silly with her fake false inferior phonetic German - I thought she said "Guten Tag" - good morning - but she really said she was 'good and tired'. The day may be young but we are not.
473: Avatar'd
472: My Dumb Joke of the Day: I asked my friend, who is a professional fortune teller, if there was any particular year in the future that appeared more clearly to her, and she replied, "2020" (That was actually the second version of my joke with a 20-20 vision theme.
The first version: I hQpe by the year 2020 rneclicaI zcience technQIQgy prQgrezzez tQ the pQint where rny viziQn iz perfect zQ rny zpeIIing improvez ancl I can zee rny keybQarcl in the clark )
471: President Hopeful B H Obama mentioned at the Copenhagen conference that we are running out of time on the climate deal. So I immediately went out and purchased 12 watches, 11 sun dials, 10 calendars, 9 stopwatches, 8 egg timers, 7 grandfather clocks, 6 pocket watches, 5432 spare batteries and a cuckoo in a cuckoo clock.
470: Part Two of "No New Minarets in Switzerland" - I have an idea to irritate slightly more than half of Switzerland. Their new law prevents Islamic mosque minarets, but why not build a huge cube building with "fake" minarets on the corners and paint massive BLUE sections to imitate the sky? I would like to see them try to pass a law against huge blue rectangles.
469: I am blessed. There was an extra noodle in my lasagna box! Now I have 3 noodles instead of 2 in a box that may accidentally get thrown away. Life doesn't get much better than this, an extra noodle. Merry Christmas.
468: I hate captcha's when they don't work and now they have evolved slowly to the point where I can't read what is on the screen. The purpose of a captcha is to prevent evil computers from pretending they are live humans. If the even eviler humans behind the scenes are able to overcome the simple older captcha's with a visual recognition system, then The Cyborgs are not just here, they have already taken over and won.
467: Get up and reach to find a way to smile a mile for each and every day.
466: If I were a potato right now I would cut and clean me, boil me, mash me, bash me pepper and salt me, mix in milk and margarine and admire my mashed me mound, snow drift like, a spud of the ground, pomme de terre, an Irish apple of an Idahoan earth.
465: I am playing a game. I put in the wrong answer. The computer let me know so by changing the background color. Next I put in the correct answer but accidentally left the first wrong value so it is a combination of correct & incorrect now, and so the system thinks I have just put in a guess-comment and no longer calls it incorrect. Talk a bout knot knowing write from wrong!
464: When we were children we spent most of our Saturday afternoon's perched on top of a hill waiting for the balloons to pass by with the giant BWWA logo printed on the side. We didn't know what those letters stood for, and now we know, those of us who remain. Its too bad we spent all that time just waiting and no balloons ever appeared. Ever. And we all became blind staring into the sun.
463: It is now against the law in Switzerland to have any new Islamic mosque constructed with minaret towers. I wonder if they could have a very tall sharply pointed water tower on each corner of the building instead? Make it look like a chess piece and then tell everyone its just a 'pawn' shop.
462: At some point when I was a young boy I thought young girls were gross. But yesterday I learned that young dogs are more gross than young girls. As proof, I don't ever remember a young girl holding something in her mouth that resembled a dark stick, only to find out in horror that the object was best described as 'frog jerky'.
461: My dumb holiday joke of the day: What did Ebenezer Scrooge say when a hobo expectedly embraced him? "Oh, bum hug!"
460: Juarez Mexico - if your Spanish is a little rusty and you want to know how to say the name of this city, just try to say "worries" and "wars" at the same time. If you want to know what its like to live there, just think "worries" and "wars", and sprinkle in a little 'death, drugs and thugs'; stir, simmer; boils over easily. 2400 drug related killings so far this year vs 1600 last year.
459: The opposite of Wells Fargo is Bads Nearstop - and that seems to fit the current communication scenario between my bank and insurance company
458: I saw the title of Sarah Palin's book, 'Going Rogue', and thought, what does that word 'rogue' mean Xactly? From Merriam Webster: 1: vagrant, tramp 2: a dishonest or worthless person: scoundrel 3: a mischievous person: scamp 4: a horse inclined to shirk or misbehave 5: an individual exhibiting a chance and usually inferior biological variation - Maybe she should have gone with "Going Vogue", that seems to fit better.
457: Do you remember the fight scene near the beginning of the first Indiana Jones movie where the Nazi reaches for the medal not realizing it is extremely hot and it doesn't belong to him and he goes running outside to stick his branded hand in the snow? I hope the same thing happens to Obama when they hand him the Nobel Peace Prize. There's bound to be a snow bank somewhere close by in Norway this time of year.
456: This dark tunnel of a year is al mo st ov er. Soon, very soon, yes, soon, very soon.
455: Today's important supermarket discovery tastebud temptation treat for Tamie: imported Pepperidge Farm TimTam Chocolate Creme Sandwich Cookies, Australia's Favorite Cookie! (their exclamation mark, not mine, although I am in agreement, a very good cookie, mate!)
454: My Japanese vocabulary word for the day: 'geisha' line order -||--/-\ 2nd character -|-/|-|--
453: Its bad enough when people who can't sing do so in public, but I just had my first too close encounter with someone who was scary sounding when they hummed LOUDLY behind me. That was a LONG 'frightening' yet entertaining trip across the groc store parking lot just now with the sacker. (Actually, there was absolutely nothing that resembled any tone/tune known to man that I could guess, holiday or otherwise, but more of the early vocal stages of cardiac arrest, or the whine of a transmission of a jeep, a really old army jeep noise from my childhood.)
452: Last night I heard Dan Rather talk about how coalition troops are being refocused towards southern Afghanistan and not putting much emphasis on the north. So that makes me wonder how long it will be before they rename the two pieces North Vietafghanistanam and South Vietafghanistanam.
451: Keep your knaves close and your knives closer.
450: I would like to write a non-fiction piece about all the restaurants that have failed at the single location, the old Dairy Queen on Cedar Street, since it stopped being a DQ. It has been a Chinese and Italian food place, so any info would be appreciated.
449: Okay, winter weather is here. Time to hide-brrr-nate. Single digit F weather coming soon, just hours away, just miles away. I have made my cave with a canopy of pillows. Mmm ... I have made my hot cocoa with marshmallows. I am ready. Bring it on.
448: Can Canada Dry Ginger Ale be dry? can nada. CDGA is wet. (It is yummy when flavored with a small amount of pomegranate crystal lite powder, something dry)
447: There is a new (used gift) recliner & small table in my livingroom. The tiny black high intensity lamp on the table has a hemispherical shade with 25 circular openings in a square grid on top but the light pattern on the ceiling of line segments indicates a complex hot filament instead of a simple point source to produce this angular artistic array of rays achievement, a flock of glowing gulls, gliding high overhead
446:
"When the moon's on your lawnlike one big giant phot-on,
that's a more e.
Like in the Einstein e-qua-zhee-on,
(you have to say the next line really fast)
where ah ener-gy equals mass-ah times the speed of light squared,
that's the 'e' I mean"
445: A door makes such a nice gift,especially if you have an empty door shaped opening and the hinges are already in pllace because someone maybe stollle or "borrowed" your door and the holllles are alllllready drilllllled in the new door for the screws for the hinges and just as the door arrives you alllllllso win the very lllllllllowest possiblllllllllle prize of the Publllllllllllisher's HOME Sweepstakes, which is their "We Have a Carpenter Coming Over To Your Home Right This Minute To Installlllllllllll A Door If You Need Him To"
Or if you have a couple of saw horses, it'llllllllllllll make a table.
444: A non sunny Sunday with no son, and no sun is shining in Iraq, so no son nonsensical silly fun phone call is expected soon. He sleeps. Far away. He is camping. For a year. Far away.
443: I just Salvador Dali-ed my plastic measuring cup. It was setting too close to the vent of the oven, 'deforming' a little bit. My wife, named Snoopy, asked me in the middle of the last sentence if I ruined "our" measuring cup as she was reading my typing, and I responded (sheepishly) in the style of one of our children humorously telling a lie with lower lip quivering, "...n..o."
442: What I learned today: Salt glaciers exist and Amman, Jordon used to be named Philadelphia about 2200 years ago, long before the Pennsylvania city.
441: My side walk in front of my house is untruthful in a permanent manner and it is cast in stone. A couple of decades ago when the side walk was being poured, someone wrote a message. Now my very dry cement has a very permanent "Wet Cement".
440: When the full moon rises late in the night a shadow of the house shrinks to reveal the bright backyard but then as the moon progresses across the night sky from its midpoint even more moonlight reflects off the light color of the west side of the house down to the ground. Cooper hints, "time to go outside to play pawball !"
439: I have began building this year's glacier for my back yard. The ice was about an inch thick on top of my rain collector.
438: Facebook asked, Whats on your mind? I had a dream where I was thinking about the process of the brain thinking and then I told you about that dream and then you had a dream about me having that dream and then we both laughed about it, me laughing inside your dream as you woke with a smile on your face and then you chuckled, wondering where exactly, did that take place.
437: If, when you were 12 years old, you had never heard of Afghanistan because of its relative unimportance in the world, then when you are twice as old at 24, its probably not worth going there to die. The closest connection you probably had to the country was when you heard the word Afghan used as a noun for a blanket or adjective for a dog breed; not the people, nor the anything to do with the country.
436: Can you guess what I am doing right this moment? If you guessed spinning clockwise, from a bird's eye view, in an office chair with my eyes closed making strange pulsing noises to drowned out the wind noise from outside, you would be close. (Real Answer: Counter Clockwise - Oooh, so much more rebellious)
435: Sometimes people miss the clear cut forest for the tree stumps.
434: I am sitting in a movie theatre right now waiting for 'The Blind Side' to start. I asked my wife if I could perform the 'Sheldon Cooper Optimum Theatre Seating Audio Test'. She said, "no".
433: So ... if Norway got extremely irritated with Iran for confiscating an Iranian citizen's Nobel Peace Prize, then if Obama starts a war with Iran and then Iran gets irritated, should Norway confiscate Obama's NobPeaPri and give it to Iran? (Later … Ooooh!!! I should go back and try to turn that into a limerick.)
432: Happy Birthday Grandpa S
431: The day currently consists of far away beeps and strange intermittent musical notes that seem to have nothing to do with the source of ringing in my head with a coat of cold white winter overcast outside and hiding here in bed with blanket and lots of pillows pulled close to keep the cold at bay, keep it far far away.
430: ... now Snow …
429: There is a reason certain vehicles are called mini-vans, and not many-vans. They were never designed to hold 15 people.
428: This may have been the first Turkey Week of my life where no one was there who was part of my life when I was a younger child and at the same time my younger child was far away, this time 8,000 miles away. (But at least with Skype video phone it seemed like he was just inches away, closer than normal)
427: The Brazilian president Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva is basically holding his country's rainforests hostage: He expects 'Gringos' to pay money to stop the deforestation of his country's portion of the Amazon. "Gringos" is his word, not mine.
426: The bottle of Diet Coke setting near me has an expiration date 'NOV3009' - wow, something good for a thousand years! Now, if you could drink just the right amount of it, you might preserve/self-embalm yourself for a millenium.
425: empty
424: There was a frozen Butterball turkey in my grocery store basket. Someone I just barely know named Dr Pepper asked me if I was cooking a turkey. I told him, "No, I just happen to have a large frozen turkey cannon and they had this one that was just the right caliber" - he giggled - " and its rifled" - I make a twisting motion with my extending arm - "so it is like the most accurate frozen turkey cannon in the world"
423: I am temporarily renaming "mapquest.com" to "mapquits.com" due to the foreverness and neverness of creating a map ... loading, swirly swirly, loading swirly swirly …
422: Okay, here is my current dilemma: I found a job opening in a place called 'Soda Springs Idaho; - but do I really want to work in a place that is: (paste directly from wikipedia) " ... also known as the location of the Soda Springs Geyser, a man-made carbon dioxide generated cold water geyser." Maybe they are just trying to find some way to compete with nearby Yellowstone Nat'l Park for tourism dollars(?)
421: I'm not sure if I would want to work for a research company that doesn't even know how to spell "PhD" correctly.
420: It sounds like Obama is doing good job of keeping his campaign promise to send an additional 34,000 troops to Afghanistan - oh, wait, that isn't what he promised. Lying b@$+@Rd ....
419: "A Few Acres of Snow" was Voltaire's 18th century quotation for what is now Canada and his thoughts on its ruinous effect on French economy and society. Due to the similarity of the appearance of heroin and snow, I think Afghanistan could be dubbed our 21st century "A Few Acres of Opium"
418: I am laying there in the dark of my bedroom. I wonder what is going to happen next. Probably just a repeat of the past. A knock on the front door. Aliens transport me to another galaxy to help them defend their way of life using my special science skills. Yep, same old boring past.
Follow up: LOL - Actually I need to get up from my nap and make the next round of buffalo lasagna that I promised Jill earlier. Silly helpless space aliens, always in need of a good organic chemist with culinary and linguistic skills who is good with dogs and loves kids, and not too shabby with a light sabre either.
«whannnt-whannt»
417: The wind is blowing gently .... somewhere, but not HERE
416: Here is my new word for the day: [olds] - my A&TT phone Internet service will sometimes not work properly to display the most recent 'news' events, so it just displays old headlines from several days ago.
415: Ah, Democracy and Socialism are fighting a new cold war. I expected that to start again sometime soon but I wasn't expecting the location to be in the United States Congress.
414: My brother and I have somewhat opposite goals in life. He wants to leave Dzt and move to a city that is large enough to have a Wal-Mart store and I am trying to get Wal-Mart Corporation to put a Super Store [AND] Distribution Center in Dzt, pop 303
413: Interesting Discovery: Everything sounds better on this old piano when you play in the key of D Flat Major
412: How many times do you have to tell Facebook that you think one (or more) of their ads is OFFENSIVE before they at least stop having it appear on YOUR screen? Obviously more than once …
411: What? Now I am going to have fill in for Oprah as well? My days AND nights just got busier.... oh, this is too cool: "OWN" - Oprah will now have her own network called OWN - the Oprah Winfrey Network, how cool is that: OWN
410: Ah, religion, The Great Divider of Man.
409: What a day .... the EU 'appointed' its first President of Europe - no vote from its people; the Board of Regents of California raised undergrad college tuition by 32% over 2 years; then add to that mess Wal-Mart recently raised the price of one pound Strawberry Twizzlers by 25%, need I say more? End of times ....
408: Today's brunch time soup is Campbell's Bean 'N Bacon with the following simmered before adding the soup: Red Bell Pepper, Cajun flavored chicken deli meat, Mild Pace Picante Sauce, brown sugar; seasoned with pepper, salt and garlic powder. After adding soup and water and warming, then add a small amount of minute rice.
407: There is an old saying: "Nature abhors a vacuum" - where vacuum means an empty place, not the cleaning apparatus. Perhaps this explains my current stuffy nose. Right about now a well positioned micro vacuum apparatus sounds like a good idea.
406: Some how, some way, it might be kinda nice to not hear any national news for awhile ... but I feel too connected for that to happen. Wireless, Internet, Facebook, MySpace, satellite TV. The grime and crime, the gritty and not so pretty, the gruesome go on and on as I am turned off and off at the awfulnessmess.
405: Avalunch - A new word I created just now in the frozen food section of the groc store when a massive 7 ft stack of boxes fell over when the protective shrink wrap was removed and gravity took control and icey eats began to fall and roll.
404: When my groc store plays Van Halen's 'Jump' I actually slow down my shopping.
403: Yea! My migratory a-Dora-ble Jill has returned.
402: Someone I know seems to snore in a strange auditory form of Morse Code.
401: Today, November 16th, is :"International Taller Ants Day" - and I am thinking, "why do we need bigger insects, especially ants?"
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