The Outer Realm of Insomnia: A Sweet Liquid Death

I've reached an almost five thirty A.M. no el sleepo

Forgive me, I don't feel like wasting the effort today to include periods on the end of my sentences, so that makes it sound like this will be difficult to read but not really

I have decided to kill myself but not in a typical manner

I'll make it fun

You know me

I have decided to drink a gallon of milk on a continual basis, two percent of course, before it eXpires, so that means, roughly a pint a day from now on

I should be able to do that

To help me out with my death by milk consumption, I am going to eat a few, maybe two, maybe four, but certainly not more, of these little tiny Butterfinger candy bars with my nice cold milk per day

So when I die if people start guessing and proclaiming and surmising how I died you will be in the know and they, the non-readers will be in the no

You will be able to say, "He died from an overdose of milk and candy, Butterfingers, to be eXact"

I have absolutely no idea how long it will take to kill myself

It may be 25 minutes from now or it may be 25 years, at my current age it will most likely be somewhere in between

A boy's gotta have plans and goals

I just checked the size, its about 1.5 oz of candy bars, for both of them

Nine servings per bag

I checked the ingredients, and the Butterfingers have milk in them too

So if you want to really confuse people, tell half of your friends I died from milk and Butterfingers, and the other half say, "It was a cow, an inside job"

[Hah, zoom, Mental Location: rural west and north of White River, South Dakota, I just had pleasant memories unfold of childhood times walking the cow paths in my grandfather's pasture on the west side of the milking barn, the manual milking process and the cream separator in the little building on the north side of the house; now back to our current program let's kill an Ernie with the milk & candy show]

Moo-i-cide