Goat Versus Pug

My friend from the Near East ... no, no, closer than you first imagined: Oklahoma ... was having animal and laundry interaction of the negative kind. She mentioned that you don't have to have a goat to take the laundry off the clothesline when her son's pug (dog) is around. She was thankful that the pug only messed with her laundry and didn't bother the neighbor's clothesline.

(And I'm thinking, say isn't that why I have a laundry washer AND dryer INSIDE my house? Well, this is Texas, we are slightly more modern.)

So I asked her, "Was the training process complicated? How are the follow up lessons in laundry folding progressing?"

She liked my questions and responded with the final locations of a shirt on the front steps, sheets in the back yard and pair of jeans on the side of house.

My cryptic response was ‎"Let's see, I'll take the category, 'Weather-State' for $400, Alex"

DING - "Okay, remember, we're looking for a pair in this category, your clue:

'shirt on the front steps, sheets in the back yard and pair of jeans on the side of house' "

BUZZ - "Yes, Ernest"

"What you find after a tornader in Oklahoma(?)"

"That's ABSOLUTELY correct!!!"

NaBloPoMo: Crushed?

NaBloPoMo Prompt for Today: Make a list of everyone you've ever had a crush on in your life, then choose one from the list and describe him or her in great detail.

My Response: I didn't have to make a list. I remember being in either 5th or 6th grade when the teacher introduced a new student to the class. I remember falling in love with her at first sight. I think it was because we both happened to be very small people compared to our classmates. She was also the mayor's daughter so my young silly mind equated that to royalty.

(While doing research today I found out that she is married to someone who was the mayor of the same town as her father. So yes, I was right all along, royalty!)

I was fairly introverted as a child and most of my attempts at communication with her were met with calamity and disaster. I remember one time pouring something on her friend while they were walking down the sidewalk, all the other details are gone but I remember thinking, man, I was stupid. I thought, why can't I just talk to her?!?!? This is really ironic because practically all my friends are women in my adult life. I am no longer introverted as well. (Metamorphosis?)

A few years later my older sister and her were in band and both happened to be the oboe players. She had the first chair and my sister the second. I remember my father saying some unkind things about the situation, but I am sure it was just his ignorance talking. The neighborhood kids would tease me about her, especially Jimmy from across the road. Jimmy is also the person who told me that mayors were rich!

I remember the best days at the swimming pool were the days she happened to be there.

One time at a Boy Scout meeting her mother was there, and I introduced myself. She had brothers. (I later learned just a few years ago from her father's obituary that all of the children in her family had their first name start with the letter P.) At the Boy Scout meeting I think I told her mother that I wanted to marry her daughter someday. I don't remember her reaction.

These were all events that took place when I lived in South Dakota. My parents moved me to Texas in my teenage years and I was crushed by that experience, a negative crush quite opposite of the romantic kind. But I decided to try to maintain contact with some people, and I have stayed up with person P over the years. We chat every few years by phone. I haven't seen her in nearly 40 years except by the photographs that are online and the several news articles about her.

She wound up getting a music degree and then advanced degrees in business and education. She worked in several countries before making it back to the states to become a college professor, and then the dean of a department, right back in "our" hometown in South Dakota. She is also a marathon runner and has been in several big name races multiple times with her husband. I can relate to that as a person who sells high performance running shoes. I just need to spend more time moving, but doubt that I am a 26 miler.

I remember seeing a bumper sticker on a car a few years ago that had "Got Oboe?" and smiled and thought of her. She got a kick out of that when I phoned later in the day.

So I hope she either forgives or has forgotten all the times I was mean to her. She is a wonderful person, very busy in her community, college and beyond; 

a blessing.

I Am An Other

I just now found out that my blog, My Worlds My Words My Worries, has been nominated for something called an "Other" blog award. It is over at http://www.apeekatkarensworld.com/ "A Peek At Karen's World"

I believe there is voting for a week long period.

I am not sure what an Other is. I know what an Otter is. I know what a Mother is. I even know what a Mother Otter is. But I don't know what an Other is.


Update 2011.12.04 - Not! I just happened to remember this award nomination and I went to check on my standing. I did not make it to the final round of voting, ah. I guess I will go drown my sorrows in ... Hah! Not really, I will get a Butterfinger candy bar and a cold glass of milk, mmmm, a very nice treat, win or lose.

&^)

Depressed?!?!? No, Honey, I'm Just Busy Inventing the iDeer

My wife thinks I'm depressed.

What? No, I'm just eXtremely busy reading, researching and writing blog material for NaBloPoMo. She noticed that I haven't left the house as much in the month of November and that I am sleeping and not sleeping at wild times. But I am having an absolute blast, sometimes, regular blast the other. I have never forced myself to blog, especially at a certain rate of at-least-once daily publication. I have always prefered a natural flow that has averaged about 8 pieces per month for the last four plus years.

So I told her, honey you don't read my blog. I don't think you can write this kind of strange silly material and be depressed. I am writing about deer wishing they could be flying reindeer and other things like duck hunting in Paris France. Flying reindeer with turn signals, EEG devices, solar panels, mid air collision avoidance systems and satellite communication. So I basically invented the cyborg deer, the iDeer. Somebody needed to take Steve's place, especially in the wild kingdom Dr Doolittle manner and it may as well be me, as long as I don't have to become a Buddhist or be grouchy to people on a daily basis. The next big thing could be learning how to read the brain waves of animals.

Contact

(Seriously though, I'm sure I'll keep right on writing silly stuff, fixing air conditioners, doing housework and keeping Cooper happy. One animal at a time is enough for me.)

Another plus is turning on blog comments and chatting with people. I had them turned off due to spam reasons. But finding a bunch of blog people that I like to read has been a neat refreshing process now that Facebook has totally messed up their system.

After everything I have been through in the last five years I think I have a good handle on depression. If you can name/identify everything that makes you momentarily sad, that's not depression, no need for pills, its just life. But if you're sad, especially if you cry for absolutely no eXplainable reason, get help. But there are plenty of nut jobs posing as degreed greedy psychiatrists and medical professionals, so you have to be careful. My case was interestingly simple: lack of vitamin B-12. So make sure you have that checked, and the OTC pills are cheap. I just happened to see one of the evil physicians of my past employment situation at the groc store last night. Its a good thing I have a stated goal of trying to be the nicest person in the universe.

I met with a psychiatrist (the first one) as part of an employer required session. One of the questions he asked me was if I had ever had depression before. I told him that ten years before at age forty I had a bad summer, but that I had worked through it by studying something completely different in the science realm. I had studied astronomy all summer, and it seemed to snap me out of my depression. Being foreign born, he asked for clarification with a puzzled reply question, "Astrology?!?" to which I replied, "NO NO NO!!!, astroNOMy, the scientific study of outer space."

And did the psychiatrist, and later that summer a psychologist, help me? All they wanted to do was talk. I quietly predicted ahead of time that after six sessions the psychologist would announce I was ready to go back to work. Why six? Because I knew the insurance company was only PAYING for six sessions, they had told me that ahead of time. Plus the psychologist was retiring soon. After several months I finally got anti-depressant medicine from my own personal physician.

In the mean time my employer kept trying to get rid of me through the means of saying I was disabled! I was forced to consume all my current vacation time before I could even apply for disability, WHICH I knew was totally wrong. I knew I wasn't disabled. When I was finally able to get that process started, I was asked what my typical day's activities were. After telling them all the tasks I could and did perform, shopping, housework, etc, her reply was, "Mr. Boston, you don't sound very disabled to me." to which I emphatically joyously replied, "I know!!! I just want my job back, I finally got some anti-depressant medicine just about a month ago and I'm doing fine, after being forced off work for the last 10 months on sick leave."

Several months later after getting my job back for a little while my lawyer finally got the report that the first psychiatrist had given my company, and the confused doctor had wrote, "Mr. Boston dealt with his earlier depression of 10 years ago with astrology". Idiot psychiatrist!!! I was very glad that I had changed psychiatrists, even if it meant dealing with a Pakistani instead of a Vietnamese, both of them had communication problems, but there didn't seem to be anyone else available that my insurance would pay. In the long run the best help came by getting fired, dropping the quack doctors and leaving the insane asylum (job) called corpoRATe America Fortune Five Hundred petroleum industry, and spending a lot of time with an amazing dog and a sick spouse who needed my help.


Link to DARDs

WWJND

I have a sneaking suspicion that the real Jesus would never have begged Oprah to be on her show OR used an assault rifle on the White House. Adds a whole new twist for a bracelet: WWJND

What I've Randomly Learned Today

a) If you are purple bellied, more than likely you are one of two birds. The Purple Bellied Lorry of Papau-New Guinea or the Purple Bellied Parrot of Brazil. All others, seek medical attention at once.

b) In medieval times larger households employed a person who worked the spice pantry, known as a spicerer. This job was probably something close to being a sorcerer, or am I thinking of maybe a saucerer? Portions potions potent potables and proportions of potatoes ... (potatoes, huh?)

c) The Goldman Index is a medical diagnostic tool for pre-operations consisting of nine variables. The first eight variables seem to be very specific or exact, but then the final one is: “poor general medical condition”

d) There are three “in's” in a row in the following sentence from the news article about the arrest of the man who supposedly shot at the White House on Nov 11th, 2011. “a tip came in Wednesday that the man sought by federal authorities in the Washington shooting was at a Hampton Inn in Indiana, Pennsylvania.”

e) The singer Josh Groban is on tour, titled “Straight To You Tour” running from May 12 to December 2nd of 2011. I wonder if this means I need to vacuum my living room before he comes over to my house?

f) While randomly reading articles in Wikipedia, I came across an article for a politician. It was simply one line long, and listed no accomplishments or scandals. I am trying to decide based on this eXtremely limited information if this is an eXample of a good or bad politician. I'm just not sure.

[Person's Name] is a former Republican member of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives

I just now stretched and semi-yawned to the eXtent that I thought I was going to faint. No, not really faint, let's just say on The Faint Scale of 1 to 10, it was a 0.93 - my vision blurred ever so slightly with the teleBision momentarily doing this mirage thingy. But if later I'm found dead this afternoon of "natural" causes, you'll at least have this bit of in-fo-mation, and can add it to the list of symptoms for whatever my autopsy results show killed me.

I really wanted a number just slightly below 1, the bottom of The Faint Scale, so I picked 0.93 - one of my favorite numbers between 0 and 1 simply because it is the volume percent concentration of the chemical Argon in the atmosphere at sea level. I know, chemists memorize a lot of semi-useless things. Most people don't know that Argon is the third most common gas in the atmosphere after nitrogen and oxygen. Maybe this will help you out in Jeopardy some day. Do you have a favorite number between 0 and 1? If not, you can borrow mine.

My N.M. friend told me that when she stretches and yawns, her ears roar so that she can't hear anything else.

My Response: Me Too!!!! We Musta Be Related!!!!

Where Is Paris Duck?

Paris Ducks: my friend Badger wanted to know where the ducks were at in Paris, so I found a few by Googling.

From ask Google: Where are there ducks in Paris?

A) Hostel: The 3 Ducks Hostel

3 Ducks Hostel
Paris (15è - Montparnasse/Eiffel Tower Area)

This hostel has some very bad reviews! But I don't know how it compares to its competition. I'm just duck hunting!

B) A Piece of Logic from website http://mrs-nezbit.tumblr.com/post/12542916518/are-there-ducks-in-paris-or-are-they-all-pelicans

Anonymous asked:
are there ducks in paris or are they all pelicans?

Fact: Pelicans eat ducks.
Fact: French eat ducks.
Fact: French are pelicans.

C) Duck Tour d'Argent

Probably the most spectacular classical French recipe, le canard à la presse, here made at La Tour d'Argent, a Paris restaurant open since the 16h century.

Warning: -GROTESQUE- food photos

Link: fxcuisine.com

La Tour d'Argent
www.tourdargent.com
+33 (0) 1 43 54 23 31
15-17 Quai de Tournelle
75005 Paris
France

Oops, I think I failed, though, because I think he wanted to photograph the ducks.

I realize the blog post title sounds goofy, BUT its s'pposed to, because I wanted a little rhyming action going on in it.

DARDs

My friend was making a holiday wish list. Its focus was on peace and love and medical cures for everyone. So I added an item.

And I want every deer out there that wants to be a reindeer to get their wish. Be a flying reindeer!

That way I'm less likely to hit them with my monsta' truck.

Of course when we eventually get flying cars (and pick ups?) I will want the deer->reindeer (DARDs) to be properly trained, licensed and insured.

There will need to be designated DARD lanes as well.

I forgot to tell you that the A in DARD stands for Arrow.

Now I'm wondering if DARDs should be required to have brake lights and turn signals. There is also another device called Midair Collision Avoidance System (MCAS) that helps avoid mid-air collisions for airplanes. If we could get every deer, normal or DARD, to wear one, then we could have an early warning system when they get too close to our vehicles. This system would probably be abused by lazy hunters of deer and DARDs, though.

To avoid having to change the batteries all the time in the systems we could install a small solar panel on the top side of the deer and DARDs.

Another modification of the monitoring device that could be put into place is a birth detector. When the mother deer or momDARD gives birth, an EEG (ElectroEncephaloGram) or brain wave monitor, could detect a unique series of electrical impulses in the central nervous system that occur during the birth process. This event could then be sent by satellite uplink or radio to alert the game warden that a young deer or DARD needs to have an MCAS installed.

Wrong Way Fray

I was assigned to change a fan motor on an HVAC unit several months ago. As part of my training I took a lot of pictures that day. I didn't have access to the inside of the rental unit because no one lived there. I could only test the unit from the outside by pushing the contactor switch, the same switch that the inside thermostat controls. 

What was really bizarre was the fact that who ever had just worked on the unit had the condenser unit fan turning the wrong direction, it was pulling the air INTO the unit instead of blowing out the top. Plus the bearings were shot on the motor. The owner of the house was trying to sell the building and didn't want to pay for a new motor, so my mentor friend graciously gave him an old motor that still worked just fine. Emphasis: FREE motor.

My mentor had told me that I would get the service call fee for performing the motor swap. 

I waited several weeks. No pay. No mention about that particular job.

Finally when I ask my mentor, he tells me that the landlord doesn't want to pay because he said the unit didn't work so the landlord had someone else change out the motor again (without telling us) and that the AC unit still doesn't work.

So I drove by and checked on the unit because it was easily accessible. My previous photos came in handy because it proved that YES, the motor had been changed again, but this time the motor had a rotation arrow on the outside case that showed the direction it would spin, AND ... are you ready for this? ... the fan was installed backwards AGAIN. So I called my mentor and informed him of my discovery. He would see what he could do.

Nothing. That is what got accomplished. So after several weeks I called him up again pointing out the business logic of the situation saying, we were only asked to change out a fan motor and that we had accomplished that particular task and that we, or rather I, should be paid for doing the job. Of course I was given the line that the unit didn't function so the customer didn't want to pay.

So yesterday I decided to confirm that the fan was actually installed backwards when I realized that all I had to do was press the contactor button again to prove that it was installed wrong. So I did this, AND shot video of the fan running the wrong direction. I also ran the compressor just long enough so that I could feel the suction line getting cold, so the compressor works at least to some degree. 

So I let my mentor know what my latest discoveries were and so I think I should hopefully get paid. But I'm not eXpecting anything anytime too soon from anyone.

Cold Elephants Play

^/M^y favorite thing at the moment is the song Paradise by the music group Coldplay. The song is from their most recent album Mylo Xyloto. I love their video for this song. It is a story of an elephant who escapes a London zoo and makes it back to Africa.

(I hope you figured out by now that the /MY at the beginning of my blog post was supposed to be an elephant. I used a "sup" html tag to elevate the / and Y a little bit)

If I told you that the elephant uses a bicycle after escaping from the zoo, then rides the subway, is a stow away on a jet airplane, hides itself in a suitcase, dances on the sidewalk to raise enough money in order to buy a unicycle ... YES! U-N-I-cycle, then you are probably going to assume costume. This is one special elephant, complete with pink ears, tiny tail and adorable eyelashes.

The man-in-the-elephant costume is the lead singer for Coldplay, the one special Chris Martin.

Based on conversations of the band members and the video producer, the video was shot in roughly reverse order, with the Africa section shot first, then the England footage second. The band was already in Africa when Chris Martin telephoned his friend Mat Whitecross at midnight for help with a music video. 

Link to interview with Mat

From the Wikipedia article:

Music Video

Coldplay initially announced that the single's music video would be directed by Hype Williams (who previously directed the first version of the "Viva la Vida" music video) but that version was scrapped after shooting and the band decided instead to record a new version directed by long-time collaborator Mat Whitecross. The video was released on 19 October 2011. In the video, a man dressed as an elephant (played by Chris Martin) escapes from a zoo in London and attempts to hitch-hike his way to another country (doing so finally by stowing away inside a suitcase). An aerial shot reveals that his initial destination was Cape Town, South Africa. He is then seen wandering around Johannesburg, at one point, walking past Nelson Mandela Bridge and a set of railway tracks in Braamfontein. He then earns enough money by busking (which appears to be ZAR 67.05, roughly equivalent to USD 8.40) on the street for a unicycle, and after a seemingly hopeless wander comes across three other elephants (the rest of Coldplay) playing the song in the veld (South African grasslands). The video shifts to the band playing a live show at the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg before returning to the desert where they run towards the camera. The music video was shot on location in London, Cape Town, the Klein Karoo in the Western Cape and Johannesburg.

Official Coldplay Website

The album Mylo Xyloto and the music video are available on iTunes. I purchased both yesterday!

Video Defects !!!

While studying the music video I discovered these two discrepancies:

The jet airplane that the elephant sneaks onto is NOT the same model of airplane as the one that is shown landing in Africa. If you freeze the frame of the airplane landing you'll notice that the tail is different and the engine arrangement. Its difficult to spot at first because the landing airplane is shot in near silhouette lighting conditions.

One of the four elephants is "incomplete" in the feet. When the band is playing in the veld, three of the elephants have elephant feet, but the fourth member on the right side is in white tennis shoes.

Rover's RPMs

OOOPs - I just now realized that this blog post got accidentally published before I was finished with the idea - concept - research. I will most likely add more to this original single paragraph.

I just learned something. Just like humans have REM states of Rapid Eye Movements when sleeping, I noticed that my dog Cooper has RPM, or Rapid Paw Movements. The first ones I noticed occur on the same side of his body while laying on his side. Both right side paws shake very small amounts, and the motions are usually synchronized, but in a mirrored oscillation. (i.e. front paw goes forward as the rear paw goes back and vice versa)

Mixed Smoke Signals

At the restaurant my waiter found two cigarettes on the floor under my table. They were in mint condition.

He handed them to me. I had told him they looked like mine.

He replied, "I've never seen you smoke!!!".

I don't smoke.

(He has waited on me like a bazillion times, knows my complete food and beverage order without me telling him anything, and he reminded the other waitress who actually took my order tonight to put bacon on my sandwich when I had forgot to tell her.)

I paused to calculate and said, "I quit 33 years ago, but these were my brand."

I let him have the cigarettes, I have no need for them.

‎It was actually 33 years and 2 months, but that would have been showing off.

S0mEtimEs pnEum0nia cAn bE a vEry g00d thing.

2011.11.11 11:11:02

2011.11.11  11:11:02

You would think I would be happy on a numerically symmetrical day.

You would be wrong.

I had a very bad dream. Someone kept pushing sideways on my leg and I couldn't get them to stop. I was in severe pain. Finally I screamed or yelled very loudly. I woke up. I heard my wife ask me a couple times, "Did you just scream?", because I had woke her up with my audible. I had been awake very late into the morning thinking about wishes. I didn't purposely try to stay awake. I went to sleep well after 3 AM. Maybe that's why I had the bad dream around 4 o'clock.

I am a scientist by training focused on chemistry and computers. I try to avoid wishing and hope. I just try to live in a practical logical reasoning eXistence. So for today's assignment I have this NaBloPoMo question of what I would do with three wishes. My first thought was give them away to someone who might want them. I most likely would sleep better.

Long before the scream dream I asked my wife what her three wishes were, and she immediately gave the first two and said she would think about the third. When I asked her if she would share them in this blog post, she gave me a definite italics bold verbal "NO !!!".

I am far from rich, but I don't want money or things that I haven't earned. So the opposite of that would be I would like the people who are currently stealing from me to stop what they are doing. Is this going to happen, by wishing, um, no, and so I won't even waste a question mark by supplying the answer so that it is no longer a question. They don't see themselves as thieves.

I suppose I could wish for tobacco or smoking in general to magically disappear. But people are already hurting and killing themselves slowly with so many other substances, while making a small group of suppliers fabulously wealthy, enabling more killing. Plus governments collect taxes on the activity. Entire regions cultivate feedstocks, so they logically try to justify their existence. I read something yesterday by a marijuana advocate who made the illogical stance that no one has ever overdosed and died from marijuana, and therefore it should be legalized. Please, get real.

I suppose I could wish for my son to come home from his current employment. I miss him terribly. He is my humor. He is gone for most of the calendar year in a large block of time and out of communication. But I know that if he can stay alive he will be finished in a year and a half from now and then be near me, hopefully for good. 

I guess my main wish, if I could have all three wishes rolled up into one so that it would really come true,  would be for the people of North Korea to be free. Maybe if I keep it that simple and concentrated it will come true. I know if enough people wanted that one thing, it would come true. But I'm reminded of my favorite 'Change the Light Bulb' joke. 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light blub?

ANSWER: Just one, but first the light bulb has to want to be changed.

Forget all this stuff about North Korea. I just got a call from a telemarketer. I want all telemarketers violently and publicly destroyed and rid this ear-rot-tation from the face of the earth. I want to smell the smoke and see the flames and hear their screams.

Joy.

Why Is Bigger

Poster Message:

A wise old man was once asked:
"In a relationship, which is more important, to love or to be loved?"
He replied, "Which is more important to a bird, the Left Wing or the Right?"

My Response: For birds that get hunted, there are more NRA supporters on the Right Wing, so the answer is the Left Wing.

- - - - -

My cousin mispelled the word 'know' as 'klnow' in a comment about karma.

My Response: So, are the k and the l both silent in "klnow"? If they are then that one tiny five letter word would have three silent letters, or 60%, so I am hoping the answer is klyes and not klno. As a bonus, I checked Google Translate to see if klnow is a word, but it couldn't find a language match, not even in Polish. I thought that 'klnow' might have the record at 60% but then I thought of the word 'why' at 66.667%, slightly larger.

- - - - -

Yes, I know that 'mispelled' is misspelled in the previous section. I'm just having fun with your brain. It's early in the morning so I did check online to be sure.

- - - - -

Yes, 9 AM is early for me. Most days I hope to get out of bed before noon. Emphasis on hope. But that isn't really true, as I no longer believe in, or actively use the concept of hope. I have just had it (virtually) severely beaten out of me over the last five years by dealing with lawyers.

- - - - -

Not all lawyers are bad. One of my very closest friends is a lawyer. But then again I never use her as a lawyer. The only bad advice she ever gave me was to try Johnny Walker Black Label. I plan to stick to Benedictine as my favorite.

- - - - -

My friend shared a picture of a tiny cute black and white animal in the palm of someone's hand, with these rhyming words, "not a dog, not a cat... but too dang cute not to share - It's a baby polar bear!"

My Response: I bet if you raised it from a cub it would be a very long time before it ate you.

Of course a very similar thing happens with your children, when you raise them from a 'cub' its usually quite a while before they hate you.

NaBloPoMo #8

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question: When was the first time that you realized that your home was not like other people’s homes?

My Response:

This is the fourth version of an answer to this daily question. I didn't like the first two that were about my autobiographical home experiences and the third one took an entirely different approach, inspired by a bit of salsa on a chip at lunch today, this one fictional, that I loved so much. I decided to save it for later when I wanted to write something completely fictional, longer, slightly dark yet funny and spend a great deal of time and planning. Yes, I do that some times, really!  So the fourth one is about my home away from home, my mother's place.

My mother lives far away but manages to, through kindness rays, gravitationally attract some of her children to live near her. Perhaps I have figured out the UNIFIED FIELD THEORY that even Einstein never solved! Within a 20 mile radius of her home are 3 of her 7 children, with another not too much farther. Yet her home is far away from any of our childhood homes. My inner orbital siblings all do a very good job taking care of her and I visit by phone often. They do call me when they need a computer fixed. I am planet tech support.

This is the second time that my mother has lived in this particular small town, moving back within a couple blocks or so of the old first place. She moved there originally following my step-father's retirement. Near water, near fish was his original wish.

It was a rather convenient spot, because several miles north on one interstate were all three of her step-children in the same city. In the opposite direction south about the same distance were all three of my mother's adopted children and grandchildren. And then west the same order of magnitude distance were her 4 natural born children and family, planets and moons. But this arrangement was brief, the universe changes and there are pressures, spinning, collisions and the alignment of the plain nuts fell out of perfectional direction. People die, people divorce, people supernova. Now there is actually one child on the east side, the T-shape overall pattern gone, on down another interstate eastwardly. (Balance?) 

But mom is back in the middle of the Big Hang In There Theory and has a bunch of her kids close, that is nice. Siblings, there is a warm spot at the middle of our you and I in verse.

NaBloPoMo #7

NaBloPoMo #7  -  National Blog Posting Month

Question: Has anything traumatic ever happened to you? Describe the scenes surrounding a particular event 

My Response: One of the early traumatic events of my life was finding out that I wasn't me.

Today was also traumatic enough through the mere act of eXamining my whole life in order to answer this question in an entertaining way without telling you about:

A) watching my brother get ran over by an automobile while riding a bike (he survived)

B) watching someone die right in front of me at work from a massive heart attack while the paramedics tried to save her 

C) slowly come to the realization that one of my relatives had most likely been murdered by his wife from an overdose of his medicine

On the first day of first grade I discovered something about my first name. I wasn't an Ernie. Legally. For the previous 6 years of my life that was the name everyone called me every single time there was a "me" calling.

The first grade teacher had gone to the trouble of making paper crowns with our names on them in pencil. Then we, who hadn't learn to write yet, were instructed to trace the lines of the letters with Elmer's Glue, in order that they could be sprinkled with glitter. Then the teacher would adjust the piece of paper to the child's head size and fasten it, probably with a stapler, I've lost that level of detail.

But, she couldn't find The Ernest in the room. That wasn't MY name, so I naturally didn't answer. I knew that Ernest was my maternal grandfather's name. I found out later that it was actually his middle name. His first name was Champion. Ironically he didn't like his real first name either. So I was eventually thankful, many years later, that I was named after his middle name and not the first, The Champion.

BUT I was not pleased at all when the teacher somehow figured out who I was and what my legal name really was.

I was  c r u s h e d.

Something Uncool When We Needed It

I am laying sideways in my too chilly bedroom reading my iPad sideways over on the night stand. The month is November and we avoid the furnace because the days are usually warm and the nights usually chilly, so the house _absorbs and ^releases, _absorbs and ^releases, .. .. So November is like a drop the V, and its "November", no or little flame use, much lower utility bills, Octobrrrr is similar, but usually requires some air condy.

Mr Right hand has to reach out from under its snuggled warmth momentarily to scroll the screen and do drop down lists and Mr Left hand has to type, so he gets a wee bit chilly too, like right now maybe, but, no, not tonight, because Mr Left hand noticed something a few minutes ago and brought down a ray of sunshine.

Mr Left hand just happened to touch the stainless steel clip on lamp (SSCOL) hooked to the bed, and having an only 30 watt bulb inside that was just-happened-to-be-on, ah, Mr Left hand noticed warmth and not burning (him).

Hmmm, thought the Mr Brain controlling Mr Left hand, I give you permission to eXplore, report back your findings. Immediately!

Ah, I'm delighted! reported neuronically, this is nice. And the SSCOL has a nice flexible nimble neck that allows it to get lower to my ear lobe, my too cold lobe, now my warming up left ear lobe, ah, 3 finger widths distance from metal-to-man, Mr Left hand invented the warmth lamp, that was a reading lamp, but its light is no longer needed for reading as the Apple app appliance glows for reading by itself.

Hah, Mr Left hand just made a joke to Mr Right hand: "Its a 'ray'-ding lamp!", but Mr Right hand didn't get it and Mr Left hand had to eXplain the near homonym of ray, as in ray of light with the first three letters of reading, ah, that's dumb, said Mr Right hand. The rest of us agreed, eXcept Mr Tip of the nose snickered just a little bit then bent to peer pressure, falling back in line.

Lying here just noticed there is a bit of glare on the screen, repo-si-tion-ing, and, ,, ,,, ,, there we go fellers, no glare, eXcept for, what is that, oh, just the reflection of the light off my arm. Everyone is toasty warm now eXcept for the very ery ry y tip of Mr Nose. He is the only one in the crowd that is cold. Too bad I don't know how to knit.

Mr Nose goes, say, could you turn to the left momentarily I want to show you something, what? I respond, No, just a little more, says Mr Nose, and bump, Mr Nose touchs the SSCOL. Ah, this is nice, says Mr Nose. But the rest of I lets Mr Nose have his 8 seconds of flame, and I turn back to the iPadness. Just then Mr Right Thigh complains, I'm sore, time to flip over, figure out how to move your new little warm toy, just getta move on, now. You don't have to go home, but cha can't stay here.

NaBloPoMo #6

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question #6: How do you balance your children, relationship, and work life? 

My Response: This one is kind of easy. There is essentially only relationship left of those three. My children are adults, gone from home now a couple of years, and my corporate job of nearly 29 years evaporated, so that leaves only relationship, mainly one in particular. But I am only semi-retired, a whole bunch of things have replaced my job, tightly knitted into relationship.

Key word: Balance

But relationship has become complex because now the daily "efforts" and time that previously went into the children now go into my dog Cooper. (((I have never had a dog quite like Cooper! My sister-in-law says he's really a person in a dog's body.))) My job has been replaced with learning the HVAC business and helping my wife with our businesses, retail products and services, that keep growing like crazy. Now if they would just turn a profit, eventually, that would be nice as well. 

The essence of today's question is balance. I try to have balance by doing the most important thing, whatever it is, without getting sidetracked, and finishing that task to completion. Try. I constantly look at the big picture and long time frames. I invest. 

When I feel it has been too long without communicating with my children or my mother, then I strongly focus on that issue. I am in constant communication with my wife so most of the time that is not an issue. I do like having some alone time with just Cooper and housework, hobbies, reading, and writing. I love to groc shop because it is a time to eXplore and a social "see a bunch of friends", because I am a small town soul now living in a slightly larger town than at any time of my childhood.  

I grew up in a large family of 4, then 7 children, when my parents suddenly adopted three younger cousins. My childhood was either a rural setting or very close. I was outside a lot, playing, exploring, bicycles, building tree forts, constantly in my father's tools. I find myself always talking to people when I am in public. I was never taught the "Never Talk To Strangers" rule as a child, and if I was (?), my parents would have been hypocrites! But I go beyond mere talk to entertaining folks with stories and jokes. 

I now sell shoes! Who would have EVER seen that a year ago?!?!? I have never been a salesman in my entire life before this last year. But I love bringing Vibram shoes to the people of Borger Texas.

I hug a lot   I help a lot   I have a big heart,  I care

Balance? I know enough people who think I am probably UNbalanced mentally, (hah!) but they don't even begin to know the real me. But I have had a few people on eXtremely rare occasions tell me I'm a super genius. (again, HAH! - fooled them as well) ... So I round up this whole mess and message that is me, and mash it together, and

[-poof-]

out pops my writing.

Why I Hate Today

I hate today because:

A) I tried to reach my son by telephone and then Facebook, but never got to talk to him. I pay an incredible amount of money for unreliable cell phone service with a company who's first letter is A and the last two are ampersand T, I'll make you guess the rest of i"T".

B) There was an earthquake in the neighboring state that measured 5.6 on the big R scale, but we didn't feel anything here. I've never felt an earthquake or seen a tornado.

C) It was too cold.

D) I can't sleep.

E) I really don't want to sleep. I want to hear my son's voice. While playing with my ink pen I have practiced my slow precision drawing skills by writing his first name abazillion times.

F) I think the "Follow Someone's Blog" technology is messed up at Blogger at the moment, getting strange behavior from their system.

G) I hear the theme music to Law & Order playing on the teleBision; ick.

H) It was quiet in here (the kitchen) but now the compressor to the refrigerator kicked on just a few feet away. No wait, scratch this one, it effectively drowns out the Law & Order noise from the bedroom.

H) It appears that the pineapple plant that I am trying to grow for someone is not working. I am usually successful more than half the time to get them to start growing. I have given one plant away as a present so far and I have three of my own that have huge beautiful leaves. But at least the potential failure will give me another reason to buy another pineapple to eat. It just deflates and tarnishes my reputation as a pineapple plant grower. I enjoy telling people that I have one of the largest pineapple plantations in Borger Texas. (Three plants) I give away my secrets, too.

I) The time is changing and people are gaining an hour which sounds like a good thing, BUT I know I am going to have to listen to people's nonsense of how the time change messes them up for weeks. It's happened toooooo many times in the past. I never change the time on the clocks in my vehicles, so for the next half year my car will be off by an hour and the truck will be correct. Most people have Standard and Daylight Savings Time modes they switch between semi-annually. I have Car and Truck.

J) I am at my house right now and would like to clip my fingernails, but I can not find the clippers. The ironic part is that we own a store that sells them several miles away. In the dark. In the cold. And we just drove near there a few hours ago on the way to supper.

K) The Safari browser keeps crashing more than once a day on my iPad. Sometimes as often as ten times in one day. I guess that's a reason to hate every day and not just this one.

L) The level of town gossip, involving the recent massive arrests by the DEA of the longtime town drug lord family, has reached new levels of stupidity. The public online chats have people mentioning how their several businesses have helped the community. I think its just the cocaine and meth talking. There are plenty of rumors about the illegal gambling issues, counterfeiting and the local police department as well.

M) After being at home most of the week I had been promised that Saturday evening would involve a long trip to Amarillo and a nice restaurant. A chance to drive my truck. I love driving my truck. But someone else was too tired so that didn't happen. I had ran out of certain favorite things that require trips to Amarillo. I had been looking forward to one of my favorite places there where my meal, with part of my wife's, consists of salmon, shrimp, asparagus, chicken, salad, baked potato, shrimp, and fresh made bread. I really only eat one meal the entire day on that occasion.

N) Someone died recently after running into a horse on the highway. He was my age. In another local accident, today a 90 year old man driving a Chevrolet Camaro caused an accident that killed a 62 year old man in another vehicle head-on by swerving into the wrong lane. I am thinking, why is someone 90 years old driving a 2008 Camaro? I am leary of trusting 90 year olds using a walker by themselves, much less a muscle car. Actually I don't know for sure how old the dead man was. In the first paragraph of the Amarillo online news broadcast he is 62, and in the second paragraph he is 63. Maybe it was something to do with daylights savings time? UPDATE: The Camaro became newer in the second news report, it is now listed as a 2010 model.

O) The last of the Butterfinger candies from Halloween are gone. How sad. They are the miniatures and so wonderful with a cup of cold milk. (But I have a new unopened secret bag hidden in my bedroom night stand, so don't tell my wife. She never reads my blog.)

Update: conversation later on Sunday morning

"Are we going to Amarillo today?"

"Yes, I was just waiting for you to get out of bed"

"Have you taken a shower yet?" - obvious answer is no based on what she is wearing.

"No, [momentary pause] I wish this fly would leave me alone"

"I bet if you get in the shower that the fly will not follow you in there"

The Economic Stimu-lust Is Working!

I am glad the Occupy Wall $treet movement is creating jobs!

Policemen are getting riot pay overtime, tear gas cannister & tent manufacturers are hiring, and park & sidewalk sanitation workers are in strong demand. Throw in more work for newscasters on a slow day, and I feel the stock market climbing back soon and paying hire dividends, _oo00O_Ooops, that was s'pposed to be 'higher' dividends.

The cities just need to start charging admission to their parks, just like federal campgrounds at National Parks, more money! Economic stimulus! Free speech is one thing, free camping is something else: wrong

Forget about Wall $treet, DEoccupy Afghanistan

NaBloPoMo #5 Point Nothing

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question #5: How do you feel about national writing contests that can't seem to get their act together and give their writing prompts in a reasonable time frame?

My Response: The real fifth question has not arrived yet from NaBloPoSLOWPokes so I made up a question of my own. It is now well into the day at 7:30 AM and there is no prompt question from their system and I am tired of waiting. I guess I will offset the days and -hopefully- give you the real fifth question's answer tomorrow.

Update: 8:30 AM - still no prompt, and to think they actually encourage the participants to do their blog post early in the day. I wonder if that is why my dog woke up this morning? He came in the bedroom and made his normal Iwanttogooutsidenownoise but when I arrived at the living room he stopped there AND the wife was already up. Ah, how sweet, togetherness! (actually semi-grumpy me went back to bed. He did come back to bed to warm my feet an hour later, so all is forgiven. I did give him a Beggin' Strip earlier as well.)

Update: 9:30 AM - nothing new, no prompt yet.

Update: 10:06 AM - sorry, I finally read the fine print. There are no updates on WEEKENDS. I guess they aren't creative enough to have daily prompts be every day. It appears there is no 'system', just a human who types something once a day, no robotic program. And I was so hoping for a robotic failure. Possibly they ran outta questions? November has thirty days, only 22 of them are weekdays this year. SO ... now ... what to do, what to do, hmmm, I decided to make you a chart so that the next time you have a November you can know how many weekdays (Mon-Fri) there are in the month of November based on whatever the first day of the month is. I also added what date in the month the fourth Thursday is, for Thanksgiving in the United States of America.

21 - Sun - TDay: 26

22 - Mon - TDay: 25

22 - Tue - TDay: 24

22 - Wed - TDay: 23

22 - Thu - TDay: 22

21 - Fri - TDay: 28

20 - Sat - TDay: 27

NaBloPoMo #4

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question #4: When you are writing, do you prefer to use a pen or a computer?

My Response: The question didn't specify what I was writing, just the mechanistic method, so I am not restricting my answer to just blog writing.

When I am making my groc store list I use a pen. I love to be creative with fonts. I sometimes write left-handed for the fun of it. My pens are eXtremely fine point gel pens.

MITSUBISHI uni-ball Signo bit, size 0.18 mm

I have a whole buncha colors, maybe 14 or so, a mixture of size 0.18 and 0.28 mm. I draw cartoons with pens and pencils. There are also strange, surreal landscapes. All other times my writing, such as blogging, is performed almost eXclusively on my iPad. My favorite computer font is Trebuchet. My margins are usually justified, unless it's poetry, most of that is centered.

By pen I write a few personal letters per year (3 to 12) that go by regular mail. I usually write to either my mother or my longest term pen-pal, my best friend from childhood who lives in south Texas. My current local best friend lives near by and she never receives paper letters, only electronic media.

I spent about 8 months of my life making daily to-do lists for projects in a certain elaborate manner. This was during my final days as a chemist. I wrote on plain unruled paper, but there was a framework of lines and margins on a template sheet tucked underneath that allowed for beautifully spaced writing.

The to-do lists used a system of rotating 4 color pairs which I stepped through daily in a pattern of

Day 1  A-B

Day 2  B-C

Day 3  C-D

Day 4  D-A

Day 5  A-B

.

.

.

I had so many colors that I don't remember eXactly which 4 colors belonged to letters A,B,C, and D.

The first color would be used for the chronological header, then alternate with the second color for each item on the to-do list for the day. Color A was the first header color alternating with B, then the next day color B would be the header color alternating with color C for that day. Then I would continue on through the pairs cycling every four days back around to A-B.

One day before morning meeting someone asked me if my "notes" (to-do list) were printed on a computer. I thought my to-do list was elegant and organized, but I didn't think they looked quite that good. But I was flattered. I remember my elementary grade teachers telling me that I wouldn't be able to print when I got older, that I would have to use cursive. Hah!

When I lost my job I left behind approximately sixty-six 8.5x11 inch beautiful pages of to-do lists. They were most likely destroyed by barbarians. The pens were my private property so they were eventually returned to me. Our group secretary had refused to buy them for me so I found my own at Jet Pens.

Pens are available at Jet Pens: www.jetpens.com go to "Gel Pens" category

NaBloPoMo #3

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question #3: “Can you listen to music and write? What song did you hear today?” 

My Response: No, I never listen to music while writing. I want dead complete silence.

I tried very hard to remember if I heard any music at all today and the answer is zero nothing no. I didn't go shopping, never play my automotive sound system, and only ventured out for supper at a restaurant which had no music. bam-WRONG-bam!!! I suddenly remembered that the long table of people in the far corner sang the Happy Birthday song to someone, but I was at the cash register paying out, so I didn't see them. I also "sang" Happy Birthday to the state of South Dakota shortly after midnight TWICE because it has two time zones. SoDak turned 122 years old today. So quite by accident the first and last song of my day will be the same one. There was no music in between unless you count my cell phone ring tone, the noise of the dishwasher, clothes washer or dryer. I do not.

See blog post H.B.S.D. for SoDak's birthday story

NaBloPoMo #2

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question #2: “If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?” 

My Response: I would want it to be a tiny nuclear powered reactor capable of [-safely-] energizing my body for an eXtremely long time period. I just wouldn't want to be the physician somewhere down the road in the future dealing with my nuclear waste, or my nuclear waist. Or would I need to see a physicist? (Note to George W. Bush: if you are having trouble with that foreign sounding looking word, its your "new-que-lar")

NaBloPoMo #1

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question #1: “What is your favorite part about writing?”

My favorite part about writing is that my entire life [almost] seems to revolve around it.

Writing is my constant eXperiment.

Writing feels effortless and stressless.

Writing feels so wonderful when you perceive a project's flow and then completeness.

It is cool when you can look back on your body of work and say, yes, that was an interesting mental journey, yes, I created that poem, that song lyric, that mental image, that photograph, that piece of art.

My blog in all its grand silliness: Is me

I hope you are always entertained and sometimes enlightened, that was my main goal.

Amish T-Hair-errorists

Hair's something religiously stupid: Amish T-Hair-errorists

[No, I didn't stutter just then.]

Amish vs Amish Violence _?!?!?

Supposedly an Amish man was attacked by a group of Amish men who shaved off part of his beard. According to the news article: A group of men armed with scissors and battery-powered clippers attacked Miller, holding him down and cutting out a chunk of his beard, according to the Millers and law enforcement.

Notice: BATTERY ->POWERED<- 00ps, I'm thinking there's a motor in there! The guys claiming the superior Amish traditions were the ones doing the cutting - with the motor.

Reference: CNN Article

(I know, the first word of this blog post is supposed to be "Here's", but I just couldn't resist the pun)

H. B. S. D.

South Dakota became a state on November 2nd, 1889.

So I was hoping to be the very first person to sing happy birthday to the state this year, so I am trying to publish this very close to a wee bit after midnight on the Nov Two.

(waiting anxiously)

(nine more minutes to go)

(I wonder if I have time to make a cup of coffee?)

(this is eXciting!!!)

(suddenly yawning - must fight sleepies)

(zzzzzzz)

(what time iz zit?!? Oh, I'm still okay ...)

(ready, set, go!)


Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, South Dakota,
Happy birthday to you!


OOPS - Update - I just realized a few minutes ago at 12:45 AM Central Time Zone that the western part of South Dakota is in Mountain Time Zone! So this necessitates singing again in a few minutes. I did some math as well, its eleven years on each side of a century, 1889 & 2011, so the total is 122 years.

(ready, set, go again!)


Happy birthday two you,
Happy birthday two you,
Happy birthday, Western South Dakota,
Happy birthday two you (at one-twenty-two)!!!


Update later in the morning: my aunt from SoDak mentioned that only I would know this particular fact.

My Response: I hope not, otherwise they are forgetting to teach one particular fact in State History Class throughout the Chinese Ringnecked Pheasant & Coyote state. Have fun celebrating today! Bake a cake, I'm going to - German Chocolate, yum. No candles on the cake though, it would take too long to light 122 of them. At least we have SoDak shaped cake pans - how thoughtful of them to shape our state pretty much in the shape of a rectangle that is close to a 9x13 pan. At least we aren't shaped weird like Wyoming or Colorado, whadda buncha squares.

Smart Potatoes for Dumb People

I saw this potato product packaged in a pair of pairs while groc shopping. 

So called "Smart POTATOES" on the right, a sack of similar potatoes on the left.

The Smart POTATOES are hand selected and then cleaned in a special manner. Then they are shrink wrapped. I wonder what's wrong with the way I wash my potatoes? And I hand pick mine as well, from the stack of availables in the store.

The Smart POTATOES cost 50 percent more than the regular potatoes that appear the same to me. Plus: Smart POTATOES are only sold in groups of eXactly four. HAH! I bought just THREE potatoes today, eXactly the number I wanted. And if I would have needed five, well, you see where I'm going with that. $$$