I Fill I

Yea! I managed to get a blog post published every day for November completing the NaBloPoMo goal. Actually I did an eXtra nine. So here is my last post of the month, which I wrote earlier in the day, but got delayed publishing it until just a couple minutes before midnight, AND I came very close to getting stuck at a railroad crossing with an eXtremely long train on a long trip home from Dallas. So, from on the road, a poem piece:

Oh, I have been to Jason's deli
And put some soup deep down in my empty belly,
Just what flavors did then I fill I?
Onion and cheese on Southwestern Chicken Chili !!!

I Am Not Allergic To Animated Bees

I survived the "Bee Movie"

I did notice that some of the bee voices sounded like familiar famous human actors. I wonder how long it took the bees to learn their parts plus imitate the human voices, especially the one that sounded almost like Jerry Seinfeld. That bee sounded really close to Jerry most of the time, but there were a few times, though, you could detect it was a real bee.

Wikipedia Article Link to Bee Movie

I think the main thing wrong with the bee's imitation of Jerry Seinfeld is that he (or she?) made the voice just a little too whiny.

Favorite Scene: The sword fight, the bee stinger versus the bulletin board pin, insect vs human, human loses, the Zorro-esque moment. The "cousin" humor was a neat twist as well.

My Wife's Favorite: either the IV drip from a honey container in the hospital setting for the injured bee, or the prosthetic bee stinger made from a plastic olive spear. (I actually have no idea what its called, it looks like a tiny sword from a cocktail, so, "tail!", hah, how ingenius for a prop.)

Google Check: Yes, they are called cocktail swords, I was just guessing. Remember that, it might come in handy in Jeopardy someday.

The plot was enjoyably very complicated.

Most people probably don't know this, but the voice that sounded like the human Patrick Warburton was really the voice of a wasp. Several bees tried out for that part, but they just couldn't find one with a deep enough voice, even the older bees that had smoke damaged larnyx from living in artificial human hives. When things got desparate there was even talk of bringing in the actual human Patrick Warburton to do himself, but there were just too many union rules, and yadda yadda yadda, so they found just the right wasp. A Yellowjacket wasp, of course; it is a bee movie.

Wikipedia Article for Yellowjacket Wasp

I think I may continue working on imitating the voice of Patrick Warburton, mainly to annoy my wife. When I hear Patrick he reminds me of a younger John Wayne with a head cold and a staccato stutter. I squint my eyes just a little bit, it seems to help get me into character. But I couldn't imagine John Wayne selling foreign cars on teleBision ads.

I Need H.E.L.P.

My Invention for Today: H.E.L.P. - Helium Emergency Lift Pack - a backpack that motorcyclists can wear that detects collisions/accidents and then automagically inflates a large balloon to safely carry them away.

Applicable to other (outdoor) occupations and hobbyists as well.
[Roofer]
[Mountain Climbing]
[Grizzly Bear Census Taker]
[Skyscraper Window Washer]
[Volcano Lava Field Inspector]


My lawyer buddy told me that she would like one just to escape her job.

My Response: For $742.42 you too can have a new blue blew away today!!!
(also available in balloon maroon, rapid red, and go go green)
Version 2.0 software will be able to detect grumpy spouses and screaming children.
But again, you must be outdoors to avoid massive suffocation hazardous e-Vents.
DO NOT ACCEPT cheap imitations! The competitor's jet backpacks are death traps!!!
Available only by air freight delivery.


- - - - -

The place where I am at today has a large computer monitor built into a stone wall with a screen saver that has a video of flames in a fireplace, and it gives off heat just like a real fireplace complete with digital audio. They must have installed an odor dispenser, it smells like a real fireplace, too.

I told this to the two young ladies at the receptionist desk and they were surprised. They must have thought it was a real fireplace. They just giggled.

All Five Vowels

Today's Spanish Lesson: farmaceutico - pharmacist - I found a Spanish word with all five vowels.

I discovered this while getting help from a pharmacist today. A bilingual sign was posted on my side of the counter with the a-e-i-o-u word in it. When I told the pharmacist that I had found a Spanish word with all five vowels, she asked me what it was, and I responded, "you". She was instantly puzzled and then I eXplained the sign. She came around to my side of the counter to read the sign, and she said, "Well, if I'm ever on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' I will have something interesting to say about myself"

[This story should point out very clearly how easily I am amused. Five vowels in one word, it doesn't get much cheaper than that.]

An Almost a Quarter of a Horse, Majestic with Sad Eyes

Yesterday, Black Friday, was totally the wrong day to try to go to a Super WalMart just to try, again emphasis try, to get Cooper some raw hide bones with knots on the ends. After all that distance, in the cold, in the rain, -nothing-. I suddenly remembered a smarter option, a place I rarely shop because the store is not in my town: PETsmart! - and yes, after months and months of frustration, we have a winner.

Plus I got to see a ^sm^all horse at PETsmart, no not really a horse, but it could've should've been. It was a beautiful 2 year old Great Dane, 176 pounds of wonderfulness. So peaceful, calm, the center of everyone's attention within sight of the checkout spot. A small child walked up to it and the dog had to look DOWN at the child, a child shorter than the top side of the dog's back. I am trying to think of his name but it eludes me at the moment, maybe later ... seems like it was something from Greek mythology, something majestic.

Perhaps the dog's sad nervous eyes were caused by twenty pairs of human eyes looking at him, photog-ing, wanting-asking to touch him, the animal unsure of their happiness directed towards him, pacing, turning. The dog's owner, by the look in her eyes and her answers to the questions, seemed to have a long history of dealing with people who were 'pupperazzi'. "Yes, he rides in my car, but he does take up the whole back seat"

The Battle of the Bulge of My Router

I finally convinced my Internet Service Provider (ISP) that something was wrong with my 3G-4G hot spot mobile router. I couldn't get it to reset with the reset button inside the battery compartment or the front panel button to work reliably. At one point the device finally worked after supposedly reaching 66% charged but then an hour later it wouldn't work with a message that it was shutting down due to a discharged battery. AND the device is ALWAYS plugged into a power source.

Today's effort at putting the cover back on the router seemed unusually difficult, so I looked at the battery and it was definitely bulged in the middle. So this may account for the difficulty of the battery trying to maintain contact with the device, or even being sound in the nitty-gritty of its internal mechanical integrity. The ISP is sending a new battery and so I'll be able to do some measurements and see if that was part of the problem. The entire device has always acted a bit unreliable, even brand new.

Today was a return trip to Amarillo. My special-needs sister-in-law had to go back home suddenly because her handlers had not sent enough medicine. I thought it was strange on Wed when they handed me a small paper sack of meds that was stapled with about a dozen staples. Next time I am forcing them to examine the contents of the bag to verify the correct contents. As you might imagine, this isn't the first time they have messed up, and always in a short manner, too. So my sister-in-law didn't even get to spend two complete days with her family over the holiday weekend, and just considering the price of fuel alone, her vacation was pretty eXpensive per hour.  AND she does need time away from her "n0r^maL" environment into a normal environment. Hold it, did I just call OUR home normal? Hah ...

I don't understand how gasoline and diesel could have moved so far apart in price. Aren't people paying attention to supply and demand issues and how you run an oil refinery? Today it was common to see the price difference be 80 cents a gallon, so diesel was way more than 20% higher than gasoline. AND gasoline has been falling in price while diesel has been climbing! I do realize that the feedstock fraction for diesel competes with use as heating oil product, and winter is coming. It will be nice when Libya gets back in full production.

I did get to go driving in my truck today so that was nice, but I was sick with flu type symptoms so that took part of the fun away, and the rain and wind tried to take the other half. It was a rare Not One Single Bad Driver Day, and considering it was Black Friday, tell me, how on earth did that happen for me? Now I don't feel like eating any supper. Lunch was really good at Jason's Deli, eXcept about 10 percent of the meat in my Southwestern Chicken Chili looked burned and hard as a rock. I accidentally got a piece in my mouth and it was horrible and didn't stay too long. Typically Jason's Deli is my Meal Mecca, my taste buds favorite place in the universe (well, Amarillo Texas) for at-noon-food. My sandwich is their Chicken Club Wrappini. I thunk I spilled thut werd currectly.

I rushed around but places were closed today - twice. I had to meet a deadline for returning my s-i-law to her place by lunch time, so I had several things to get squeezed into the morning before leaving town. I needed to get my used motor oil to the city recycling place, but when I got there the place was closed, obviously for a four day holiday weekend, so then I had to store the collection vessel in my garage, and it made a slight oil mess in the pickup bed I had to clean up. I thought I was doing really well on meeting my schedule then suddenly realized that being sick earlier in the week had made me forget the supplies for the hair salon where people rent from me. I was being a bad landlord! So I rushed around and got their critical toilet paper and bleach. BUT when I got to the shop it appeared that no one was working today, and the schedule for at least one of them, the normally busiest lady, was X'd out for the weekend as well. Plus there was no real critical shortage of paper product after all even though I was already a week late with my delivery.

A couple paragraphs later the need for supper suddenly manifestivals itself. So ... location location location ... I am ending my day at my favorite local diner having hopefully the best grilled chicken sandwich in my town. It hasn't quite arrived yet, but I eXpect the "ready bell" to ding shortly. And more importantly I have finally got my personal jug of BBQ sauce returned to the diner. Its absence was interfering with eating here properly! (Yes, here is actually here in the picture, typing away, courtesy of my iPad. Thanks, again Steve J.)

The brand of BBQ sauce is really 'Head Country' - it's my favorite! I just take the bottle home from the diner when it gets close to empty, clean it, and refill it from my gallon jug. The drink is Dr Pepper, of course, and the wait staff always keeps it full. That is about as empty as it ever gets.

Update 2011.12.02 - I got my new battery, so hopefully it works much better. The tiny battery arrived in a huge box filled with inflated cushion. EXCEPT the battery was not secured to the cushion, it was just free inside the box, right up against the outside wall of the box when I opened it. No bulge, it fits nicely in the router.

T-Day, Tough Day

This Thanksgiving was a bit rough because I couldn't celebrate the meal massive with someone close to me. That absent person is getting ready for an operation and can't eat today, so it was a difficult day for several people close to us. We are certain of better things in the future. But my daughter-in-law just finished her master's degree and will receive her diploma in January 2012, and so we plan to have a second Thanksgiving for our group during her graduation ceremony weekend. Today was a rare Thanksgiving for me to not have oyster dressing, so the day seems INcomplete!

My truck oil change went smoothly today and the air filter was cleaned as well. (That sentence sounds so much better putting the word 'truck' before the word 'oil') Usually it takes a very long time for the cotton to dry in the reusable air filter, but I used my wet-dry shop vac to speed up the process. I haven't been able to find anyone to give me a definitive answer on how long I can run my Ford F-350 truck using synthetic oil. The brand is Shell Rotella T6. The oil is supposedly able to remain in service for several tens of thousands of miles, while still using typical filter change time periods. But my particular engine (2005 6.0 L Diesel V-8) uses high pressure engine oil as part of the fuel injection process, and so it is very sensitive to mucky ucky oil. It was fun doing some mechanic work today, the weather was really nice in the low 70's, maybe the hottest day for the rest of the year '12. You just never know in Texas. This was my second time to change the oil by myself, so it wasn't as "scary".

Here is the silly thing about the oil change. The engine holds 15 quarts, so this is massive, like 3 times the typical amount in a passenger car. So I got a special higher capacity drain container to catch the oil. It even says on the container that its for diesel capacity engines. So the first time it's used for the oil draining it fills up the catch basin on top and makes a huge mess! I very carefully check the volume size and sure enough it should have worked, there was plenty of room! BUT where their design failed was in the too-small hole at the top where the oil drains from the collection basin into the container. With the hole too small the rate that the oil comes out of the engine overwhelms the rate of the tiny hole in the bottom of the collection pan into the container plus the size of the buffer, the collection basin. Its an engineering design problem where they could have easily spent a few more pennies for a larger plug and hole, but didn't. Argggh! I'm sure they already had a "baby" sized model for automobiles and scaled up only part of the product, the overall capacity without thinking of the product in actual use.

Pumpkin pie? Amount Consumed: None

Somehow I missed all the desserts with all my mechanic work today. Currently suffering from absence of dessert hurt. I guess I will get my wifey to walk me through making one tomorrow.

I did have a little photo fun. My son got a Sony camera that uses the same detachable lens as mine, so we can share! Sharing is good. I have a nice telephoto wide angle lens, but he was too afraid to take it with him in his ski back pack. His camera has the panoramic mode anyway, so that is kinda like shooting wide angle. He said he just wants a wide angle to do the mountain photos. I did have fun with his new camera, shooting Cooper in a few funny close ups and the kitchen crew in action with my wide angle lens. Ah, sharing. My children are slowly evolving into their father, this one is a little farther into his Sony camera addiction. I have had four Sony digital still cameras with three of them functioning. I think the fourth one was accidentally smashed by this particular child. Sonys are workhorses. My wife's point and shoot is the only one that messed up physically. The function selector dial on the back would not stay stable after setting the shooting mode. You would be ready to take a shot and suddenly it would switch to video mode. But overall the Sonys have been great.

Well, I s'ppose I should quit & hit the Publish Post button. Night, night, all y'all from the Lone Star State, Happy Thanksgiving and an even happier Evacuation Day (New York) tomorrow Nov 25th. Actually today was my Happy E-Vacuuming Day, but that is something entirely different, no war, no POW's. I have the best vacuum in the world, a Dyson DC-25 "Animal". Hmmm, I suddenly realized I used both of MY vacuum cleaners today. As a side note I have recently officially claimed the kitchen as my territory as well.

ERNEST THE CONQUEROR

Interruption Day? No, It Was Mother's Day!

I was hoping to get to write today, but I wound up getting interrupted the entire day. But they were mainly positive interruptions.

Right as I was at the end of making breakfast for myself and Cooper a few minutes earlier, my wife barged in the house irritated because she could not reach me by phone. My cell phone was left at the other end of the house. She let me know that my mother was coming through town to visit and that I needed to come downtown to visit her there. So she left in a huff. I thought, wow, it would have been nice for my mother to let me know she was coming through town. She lives 300 plus miles away.

I continued at my normal pace of preparing for the day, and wound up arriving downtown about 5 minutes before my mother arrived. This was my mother's first time to get to visit our store since we got it in January of 2011. This was also the second time to get to see my mother in the past year. The other had been at a funeral, so this was a much better time to chat. So we had a wonderful time eXploring the building and showing her all that we have been up to in the game of retail and services, as well as some other personal news. [I can tell you more about this only at a later date.]

I spent the rest of the day traveling to Amarillo to bring one of my sister-in-laws home for the holiday of tom-orrow, and then doing groc shopping for everyone. I also got to help another sister-in-law by returning her son's jacket to the store where it was purchased. The clerk had forgot to remove the anti-theft device from the jacket when it was purchased. So that took an eXtra half hour of my day. At least the great nephew will now be "properly" attired in his University of Texas Longhorns football jacket. (That isn't my alma mater) I'm late at night suddenly thinking, what good is an anti-theft device if it makes its way out of the store undetected on a product that was legally purchased? Maybe I am missing something here.

I finally found the new synthetic oil for my truck but then found out later that I had paid way too much for it. But I need to get my oil changed while the weather is nice, and rain is eXpected on Friday. The synthetic oil is s'pposed to last much longer than regular oil. It is Rotella T6. I haven't found the recommended change interval yet, though.

Actually I did a lot of blog writing earlier in the day, but it was all comments on other peoples blogs. I rough drafted an idea for something about one percenters and I think I have an interesting spin, but it requires way too much research to produce accurately in one day. So maybe later this week. I don't want the great unruly mobs to think I'm a real one percenter. I just realized that I forgot to buy my lotto ticket today, drats.

I will end this blog post with the recipe I was cooking when I got in trouble this morning. My new recipe for scrambled eggs.

Ingredients:
Some very thin chicken deli meat - about enough for one normal sandwich

Chunk of Kraft Mild Mexican Velveeta Cheese - 10% of the package - cut into 8 long pieces

4 Eggs

Small amount of canola oil

Seasonings:

Chili Powder

Garlic Powder

Onion Powder

Black Pepper

Salt

Find a small teflon pan that looks like it would just barely be able to hold and cook four eggs at one time comfortably.

Put in some canola oil. Coat pan surface very well.

Find a lid for the pan

Get a plastic spatula - I prefer a thin one.

Crack open the eggs without breaking the yolks, in the pan..

Create a cross pattern with four of the cheese pieces to separate the eggs uniformly. Then place the remaining cheese chunks in each egg quadrant. (Having the eggs trapped by the cheese is handy because my stove is not level!!!)

Cut the deli chicken into small pieces and scatter over the top surface of the eggs and cheese.

Put on your desired amounts of seasonings.

Put lid on pan

Start a medium fire under the pan. Allow it to get some of the egg white hardened before popping the egg yolks. The nice visual effect at the end will be scrambled eggs with a lot the distinct yellow and white.

I scrape the bottom of the pan about every 20 seconds. Adjust your flame and turning time delay to match your desired results through practicing this recipe several times.

Put lid back on pan between scraping.

The cheese makes it difficult to "finish" cooking the eggs in just the pan, so thats where a microwave oven comes in handy for finishing the process. When the pan starts to make too many scorched egg cheesiness, its time to stop cooking in the pan, and finish the process with the microwave oven. Dump the skillet contents into a microwaveable bowl, and immediately cook for 45-60 seconds. Contents very hot!

I like to eat the scrambled eggs with a side of round white corn Tostitos and salsa. I prefer to add a small amount of sugar to my salsa. Mix 6 volumes salsa to 1 volume sugar. Stir. I prefer to mix the left over salsa from my two local Mexican food restaurants. They are completely different in texture & content, and when mixed together they are balanced wonderfully.

If you are lucky you'll get pictures in the future! Sorry, I have to hurry its 5 minutes til midnight!!!

For this meal I prefer dilute hot black coffee.

One more story about the end of the day. One of the nice things about driving back from Amarillo is that I always get to drive right by my best friend's house. So I sent her a text message saying that I liked the light decorations on her house. I get an immediate response telling me that I had better stop driving and texting at the same time. So I sent her this message: "I don't text and drive! I pulled over to the shoulder of the road (now twice) and put on my 4 way flashers." She immediately sent me a smiley face.

So I got in "phone-y trouble" at both ends of the day by a couple of my favorite women, and had some fun and food and chatted with several others, sisters of a different kind, and my mother in the middle. A rare day.

A Second November 22nd to Remember

The assassination of John F. Kennedy was 48 years ago today. A sad day. I was just old enough to remember it. The cartoons were not playing that afternoon on teleBision. It was a Friday, but really a mourn day.

I asked Tamie to marry me 29 years ago today. A happy day. I am still young enough to remember it. It was a Monday. All my Novembers are happier now.

I remember being in Boston Massachusetts earlier in the same year 1982, probably March. Going through the Kennedy Museum and visiting his birthplace were highlights of my trip, most of it business. Even though they were highlights they were still sad, especially the museum.

Salt and Pepper, Tar and Feather

My response after watching the police pepper spray the college students at the University of California on teleBision: FIRED!!!! Thats what I want. To nonchalantly spray students sitting/protesting motionless on a sidewalk in the face, directly in their FACES! That person deserves to be fired immediately.

A friend of a friend (FoaF) responded: And pepper-sprayed!

My Response to the FoaF: I would even go for dipped in pepper spray. Publically and upside down multiple times, of course. Hmmm, I wonder, how many dips does it take to get to the middle of a ... , I know, the number of peasants the knight in non-shiny armor happened to blast in the face during his crusade.

I am reminded of another phrase: Hold 'em under til they bubble. I am not eXactly sure what it means, but I feel eXperimentation is in order.

I thought about the riot gear, and it hides the identity of the pepper sprayer. I bet if they would have to reveal their names they would think twice about doing this to another human being. AND they have been put on administrative leave pending an investigation, so their secrets aren't so safe any more. When a regular law enforcement officer is on patrol you can see his badge, and his id is available for feedback. The lines blur, is this Iran or the USofA?

I am very sure it would be an OSHA safely violation if this occurred in the workplace!

At least I know the name of my waiter when he brings the food to my table, and politely asks, "Would you like fresh ground pepper with your entrée?"

Dear Blogger

Dear Blogger,

Please get your act together concerning your web tools that lists my followers on my blog web page. At the moment I only have a handful, 15, and your software does not works properly.

Silly Symptoms:

A) on my web page it some times display all 15 people, but most of the time it omits the most recent three people who have joined. I don't want these people to think I have dropped them!

B) on my Blogger dashboard it typically displays 14 people as just a number instead of the correct number 15, BUT ...

C) when you click on the button of the dashboard to display the people, it is hit-or-miss whether it is going to work at all, or display the complete list. Sometimes it displays 12, sometimes 15. Typically refreshing the browser window corrects the problem and *automagically* all 15 people will appear.

Blogger also lost my profile picture! I have been using the same one for most of my existence on this blog, greater than 4 years. It was a dynamic GIF file that changed shadows and contrast rapidly. I had spent quite a bit of time building it. Gone. They replaced my special picture with some ordinary monochromatic silhouette humanoid blob. If there is something I am not, its a blob!!!

I suddenly thought of something else to check about the GIF animated files. My blog post Green With INVI has a GIF picture that has one of my fingers slowly ghosting away and reappearing in an infinite loop, as part of my story about inventing invisible paint. So I checked this story and sure enough that picture is "broken" as well. So either Blogger suddenly stopped supporting GIF animated picture files or possibly its a fresh iPad problem. I haven't been on a real PC since discovering the problem. I know that GIFs did work on my iPad. Hmmm....

Update: I checked the animated GIFs on a PC and the problem still persists. I remember now there is another story with a poem that has an animated picture that is sure to be broken ..checking.. yes, the picture at Billy Bonka, Bubba and the Magical Ball Factory is broken as well. It had an animated picture that has a large green tomato on the vine turning into a tennis ball and back, on an infinite loop.

D i s a p p o i n t m e n t

Animated GIF files have been around for quite some time and it seems silly that Blogger would drop their support for them. I tried another trick. I tried googling for the image by putting in the name of the blog post, and it gave me the correct image, BUT it was just a single still image of the tomato on the vine, not the wonderful magical tomato turning into a tennis ball and back on an infinite loop.

AND ... while I was editing this blog post the system generated an error message telling me that it couldn't save the post due to some mysterious error. I tried eliminating everything html-ish besides pure displayable text, but nothing helped. Finally I guessed that the stupid system had probably logged me off while I was right in the middle of editing, and sure enough, that was the problem!!! How can this happen, surely it wasn't a timeout issue. Hopefully it wasn't because I just happen to be simultaneously logged in to the same account on my iPad at home, which of course no one is using, unless Cooper my dog is a whole lot smarter than I thought he was, AND able to manipulate my iPad with his claws. That could account for a few scratches, though. If he is manipulating the touchscreen with his NOSE, I don't want to know about it. Luckily I have learned that I can copy and paste the What You See Is What You Are About To Lose contents of my blogger editting process to somewhere else, namely Notepad on my PC.

I checked the blogger system status over at downrightnow.com/blogger and everything looks fine and hunky-dory.

Thanks,

Ernest

Goat Versus Pug

My friend from the Near East ... no, no, closer than you first imagined: Oklahoma ... was having animal and laundry interaction of the negative kind. She mentioned that you don't have to have a goat to take the laundry off the clothesline when her son's pug (dog) is around. She was thankful that the pug only messed with her laundry and didn't bother the neighbor's clothesline.

(And I'm thinking, say isn't that why I have a laundry washer AND dryer INSIDE my house? Well, this is Texas, we are slightly more modern.)

So I asked her, "Was the training process complicated? How are the follow up lessons in laundry folding progressing?"

She liked my questions and responded with the final locations of a shirt on the front steps, sheets in the back yard and pair of jeans on the side of house.

My cryptic response was ‎"Let's see, I'll take the category, 'Weather-State' for $400, Alex"

DING - "Okay, remember, we're looking for a pair in this category, your clue:

'shirt on the front steps, sheets in the back yard and pair of jeans on the side of house' "

BUZZ - "Yes, Ernest"

"What you find after a tornader in Oklahoma(?)"

"That's ABSOLUTELY correct!!!"

NaBloPoMo: Crushed?

NaBloPoMo Prompt for Today: Make a list of everyone you've ever had a crush on in your life, then choose one from the list and describe him or her in great detail.

My Response: I didn't have to make a list. I remember being in either 5th or 6th grade when the teacher introduced a new student to the class. I remember falling in love with her at first sight. I think it was because we both happened to be very small people compared to our classmates. She was also the mayor's daughter so my young silly mind equated that to royalty.

(While doing research today I found out that she is married to someone who was the mayor of the same town as her father. So yes, I was right all along, royalty!)

I was fairly introverted as a child and most of my attempts at communication with her were met with calamity and disaster. I remember one time pouring something on her friend while they were walking down the sidewalk, all the other details are gone but I remember thinking, man, I was stupid. I thought, why can't I just talk to her?!?!? This is really ironic because practically all my friends are women in my adult life. I am no longer introverted as well. (Metamorphosis?)

A few years later my older sister and her were in band and both happened to be the oboe players. She had the first chair and my sister the second. I remember my father saying some unkind things about the situation, but I am sure it was just his ignorance talking. The neighborhood kids would tease me about her, especially Jimmy from across the road. Jimmy is also the person who told me that mayors were rich!

I remember the best days at the swimming pool were the days she happened to be there.

One time at a Boy Scout meeting her mother was there, and I introduced myself. She had brothers. (I later learned just a few years ago from her father's obituary that all of the children in her family had their first name start with the letter P.) At the Boy Scout meeting I think I told her mother that I wanted to marry her daughter someday. I don't remember her reaction.

These were all events that took place when I lived in South Dakota. My parents moved me to Texas in my teenage years and I was crushed by that experience, a negative crush quite opposite of the romantic kind. But I decided to try to maintain contact with some people, and I have stayed up with person P over the years. We chat every few years by phone. I haven't seen her in nearly 40 years except by the photographs that are online and the several news articles about her.

She wound up getting a music degree and then advanced degrees in business and education. She worked in several countries before making it back to the states to become a college professor, and then the dean of a department, right back in "our" hometown in South Dakota. She is also a marathon runner and has been in several big name races multiple times with her husband. I can relate to that as a person who sells high performance running shoes. I just need to spend more time moving, but doubt that I am a 26 miler.

I remember seeing a bumper sticker on a car a few years ago that had "Got Oboe?" and smiled and thought of her. She got a kick out of that when I phoned later in the day.

So I hope she either forgives or has forgotten all the times I was mean to her. She is a wonderful person, very busy in her community, college and beyond; 

a blessing.

I Am An Other

I just now found out that my blog, My Worlds My Words My Worries, has been nominated for something called an "Other" blog award. It is over at http://www.apeekatkarensworld.com/ "A Peek At Karen's World"

I believe there is voting for a week long period.

I am not sure what an Other is. I know what an Otter is. I know what a Mother is. I even know what a Mother Otter is. But I don't know what an Other is.


Update 2011.12.04 - Not! I just happened to remember this award nomination and I went to check on my standing. I did not make it to the final round of voting, ah. I guess I will go drown my sorrows in ... Hah! Not really, I will get a Butterfinger candy bar and a cold glass of milk, mmmm, a very nice treat, win or lose.

&^)

Depressed?!?!? No, Honey, I'm Just Busy Inventing the iDeer

My wife thinks I'm depressed.

What? No, I'm just eXtremely busy reading, researching and writing blog material for NaBloPoMo. She noticed that I haven't left the house as much in the month of November and that I am sleeping and not sleeping at wild times. But I am having an absolute blast, sometimes, regular blast the other. I have never forced myself to blog, especially at a certain rate of at-least-once daily publication. I have always prefered a natural flow that has averaged about 8 pieces per month for the last four plus years.

So I told her, honey you don't read my blog. I don't think you can write this kind of strange silly material and be depressed. I am writing about deer wishing they could be flying reindeer and other things like duck hunting in Paris France. Flying reindeer with turn signals, EEG devices, solar panels, mid air collision avoidance systems and satellite communication. So I basically invented the cyborg deer, the iDeer. Somebody needed to take Steve's place, especially in the wild kingdom Dr Doolittle manner and it may as well be me, as long as I don't have to become a Buddhist or be grouchy to people on a daily basis. The next big thing could be learning how to read the brain waves of animals.

Contact

(Seriously though, I'm sure I'll keep right on writing silly stuff, fixing air conditioners, doing housework and keeping Cooper happy. One animal at a time is enough for me.)

Another plus is turning on blog comments and chatting with people. I had them turned off due to spam reasons. But finding a bunch of blog people that I like to read has been a neat refreshing process now that Facebook has totally messed up their system.

After everything I have been through in the last five years I think I have a good handle on depression. If you can name/identify everything that makes you momentarily sad, that's not depression, no need for pills, its just life. But if you're sad, especially if you cry for absolutely no eXplainable reason, get help. But there are plenty of nut jobs posing as degreed greedy psychiatrists and medical professionals, so you have to be careful. My case was interestingly simple: lack of vitamin B-12. So make sure you have that checked, and the OTC pills are cheap. I just happened to see one of the evil physicians of my past employment situation at the groc store last night. Its a good thing I have a stated goal of trying to be the nicest person in the universe.

I met with a psychiatrist (the first one) as part of an employer required session. One of the questions he asked me was if I had ever had depression before. I told him that ten years before at age forty I had a bad summer, but that I had worked through it by studying something completely different in the science realm. I had studied astronomy all summer, and it seemed to snap me out of my depression. Being foreign born, he asked for clarification with a puzzled reply question, "Astrology?!?" to which I replied, "NO NO NO!!!, astroNOMy, the scientific study of outer space."

And did the psychiatrist, and later that summer a psychologist, help me? All they wanted to do was talk. I quietly predicted ahead of time that after six sessions the psychologist would announce I was ready to go back to work. Why six? Because I knew the insurance company was only PAYING for six sessions, they had told me that ahead of time. Plus the psychologist was retiring soon. After several months I finally got anti-depressant medicine from my own personal physician.

In the mean time my employer kept trying to get rid of me through the means of saying I was disabled! I was forced to consume all my current vacation time before I could even apply for disability, WHICH I knew was totally wrong. I knew I wasn't disabled. When I was finally able to get that process started, I was asked what my typical day's activities were. After telling them all the tasks I could and did perform, shopping, housework, etc, her reply was, "Mr. Boston, you don't sound very disabled to me." to which I emphatically joyously replied, "I know!!! I just want my job back, I finally got some anti-depressant medicine just about a month ago and I'm doing fine, after being forced off work for the last 10 months on sick leave."

Several months later after getting my job back for a little while my lawyer finally got the report that the first psychiatrist had given my company, and the confused doctor had wrote, "Mr. Boston dealt with his earlier depression of 10 years ago with astrology". Idiot psychiatrist!!! I was very glad that I had changed psychiatrists, even if it meant dealing with a Pakistani instead of a Vietnamese, both of them had communication problems, but there didn't seem to be anyone else available that my insurance would pay. In the long run the best help came by getting fired, dropping the quack doctors and leaving the insane asylum (job) called corpoRATe America Fortune Five Hundred petroleum industry, and spending a lot of time with an amazing dog and a sick spouse who needed my help.


Link to DARDs

WWJND

I have a sneaking suspicion that the real Jesus would never have begged Oprah to be on her show OR used an assault rifle on the White House. Adds a whole new twist for a bracelet: WWJND

What I've Randomly Learned Today

a) If you are purple bellied, more than likely you are one of two birds. The Purple Bellied Lorry of Papau-New Guinea or the Purple Bellied Parrot of Brazil. All others, seek medical attention at once.

b) In medieval times larger households employed a person who worked the spice pantry, known as a spicerer. This job was probably something close to being a sorcerer, or am I thinking of maybe a saucerer? Portions potions potent potables and proportions of potatoes ... (potatoes, huh?)

c) The Goldman Index is a medical diagnostic tool for pre-operations consisting of nine variables. The first eight variables seem to be very specific or exact, but then the final one is: “poor general medical condition”

d) There are three “in's” in a row in the following sentence from the news article about the arrest of the man who supposedly shot at the White House on Nov 11th, 2011. “a tip came in Wednesday that the man sought by federal authorities in the Washington shooting was at a Hampton Inn in Indiana, Pennsylvania.”

e) The singer Josh Groban is on tour, titled “Straight To You Tour” running from May 12 to December 2nd of 2011. I wonder if this means I need to vacuum my living room before he comes over to my house?

f) While randomly reading articles in Wikipedia, I came across an article for a politician. It was simply one line long, and listed no accomplishments or scandals. I am trying to decide based on this eXtremely limited information if this is an eXample of a good or bad politician. I'm just not sure.

[Person's Name] is a former Republican member of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives

I just now stretched and semi-yawned to the eXtent that I thought I was going to faint. No, not really faint, let's just say on The Faint Scale of 1 to 10, it was a 0.93 - my vision blurred ever so slightly with the teleBision momentarily doing this mirage thingy. But if later I'm found dead this afternoon of "natural" causes, you'll at least have this bit of in-fo-mation, and can add it to the list of symptoms for whatever my autopsy results show killed me.

I really wanted a number just slightly below 1, the bottom of The Faint Scale, so I picked 0.93 - one of my favorite numbers between 0 and 1 simply because it is the volume percent concentration of the chemical Argon in the atmosphere at sea level. I know, chemists memorize a lot of semi-useless things. Most people don't know that Argon is the third most common gas in the atmosphere after nitrogen and oxygen. Maybe this will help you out in Jeopardy some day. Do you have a favorite number between 0 and 1? If not, you can borrow mine.

My N.M. friend told me that when she stretches and yawns, her ears roar so that she can't hear anything else.

My Response: Me Too!!!! We Musta Be Related!!!!

Where Is Paris Duck?

Paris Ducks: my friend Badger wanted to know where the ducks were at in Paris, so I found a few by Googling.

From ask Google: Where are there ducks in Paris?

A) Hostel: The 3 Ducks Hostel

3 Ducks Hostel
Paris (15è - Montparnasse/Eiffel Tower Area)

This hostel has some very bad reviews! But I don't know how it compares to its competition. I'm just duck hunting!

B) A Piece of Logic from website http://mrs-nezbit.tumblr.com/post/12542916518/are-there-ducks-in-paris-or-are-they-all-pelicans

Anonymous asked:
are there ducks in paris or are they all pelicans?

Fact: Pelicans eat ducks.
Fact: French eat ducks.
Fact: French are pelicans.

C) Duck Tour d'Argent

Probably the most spectacular classical French recipe, le canard à la presse, here made at La Tour d'Argent, a Paris restaurant open since the 16h century.

Warning: -GROTESQUE- food photos

Link: fxcuisine.com

La Tour d'Argent
www.tourdargent.com
+33 (0) 1 43 54 23 31
15-17 Quai de Tournelle
75005 Paris
France

Oops, I think I failed, though, because I think he wanted to photograph the ducks.

I realize the blog post title sounds goofy, BUT its s'pposed to, because I wanted a little rhyming action going on in it.

DARDs

My friend was making a holiday wish list. Its focus was on peace and love and medical cures for everyone. So I added an item.

And I want every deer out there that wants to be a reindeer to get their wish. Be a flying reindeer!

That way I'm less likely to hit them with my monsta' truck.

Of course when we eventually get flying cars (and pick ups?) I will want the deer->reindeer (DARDs) to be properly trained, licensed and insured.

There will need to be designated DARD lanes as well.

I forgot to tell you that the A in DARD stands for Arrow.

Now I'm wondering if DARDs should be required to have brake lights and turn signals. There is also another device called Midair Collision Avoidance System (MCAS) that helps avoid mid-air collisions for airplanes. If we could get every deer, normal or DARD, to wear one, then we could have an early warning system when they get too close to our vehicles. This system would probably be abused by lazy hunters of deer and DARDs, though.

To avoid having to change the batteries all the time in the systems we could install a small solar panel on the top side of the deer and DARDs.

Another modification of the monitoring device that could be put into place is a birth detector. When the mother deer or momDARD gives birth, an EEG (ElectroEncephaloGram) or brain wave monitor, could detect a unique series of electrical impulses in the central nervous system that occur during the birth process. This event could then be sent by satellite uplink or radio to alert the game warden that a young deer or DARD needs to have an MCAS installed.

Wrong Way Fray

I was assigned to change a fan motor on an HVAC unit several months ago. As part of my training I took a lot of pictures that day. I didn't have access to the inside of the rental unit because no one lived there. I could only test the unit from the outside by pushing the contactor switch, the same switch that the inside thermostat controls. 

What was really bizarre was the fact that who ever had just worked on the unit had the condenser unit fan turning the wrong direction, it was pulling the air INTO the unit instead of blowing out the top. Plus the bearings were shot on the motor. The owner of the house was trying to sell the building and didn't want to pay for a new motor, so my mentor friend graciously gave him an old motor that still worked just fine. Emphasis: FREE motor.

My mentor had told me that I would get the service call fee for performing the motor swap. 

I waited several weeks. No pay. No mention about that particular job.

Finally when I ask my mentor, he tells me that the landlord doesn't want to pay because he said the unit didn't work so the landlord had someone else change out the motor again (without telling us) and that the AC unit still doesn't work.

So I drove by and checked on the unit because it was easily accessible. My previous photos came in handy because it proved that YES, the motor had been changed again, but this time the motor had a rotation arrow on the outside case that showed the direction it would spin, AND ... are you ready for this? ... the fan was installed backwards AGAIN. So I called my mentor and informed him of my discovery. He would see what he could do.

Nothing. That is what got accomplished. So after several weeks I called him up again pointing out the business logic of the situation saying, we were only asked to change out a fan motor and that we had accomplished that particular task and that we, or rather I, should be paid for doing the job. Of course I was given the line that the unit didn't function so the customer didn't want to pay.

So yesterday I decided to confirm that the fan was actually installed backwards when I realized that all I had to do was press the contactor button again to prove that it was installed wrong. So I did this, AND shot video of the fan running the wrong direction. I also ran the compressor just long enough so that I could feel the suction line getting cold, so the compressor works at least to some degree. 

So I let my mentor know what my latest discoveries were and so I think I should hopefully get paid. But I'm not eXpecting anything anytime too soon from anyone.

Cold Elephants Play

^/M^y favorite thing at the moment is the song Paradise by the music group Coldplay. The song is from their most recent album Mylo Xyloto. I love their video for this song. It is a story of an elephant who escapes a London zoo and makes it back to Africa.

(I hope you figured out by now that the /MY at the beginning of my blog post was supposed to be an elephant. I used a "sup" html tag to elevate the / and Y a little bit)

If I told you that the elephant uses a bicycle after escaping from the zoo, then rides the subway, is a stow away on a jet airplane, hides itself in a suitcase, dances on the sidewalk to raise enough money in order to buy a unicycle ... YES! U-N-I-cycle, then you are probably going to assume costume. This is one special elephant, complete with pink ears, tiny tail and adorable eyelashes.

The man-in-the-elephant costume is the lead singer for Coldplay, the one special Chris Martin.

Based on conversations of the band members and the video producer, the video was shot in roughly reverse order, with the Africa section shot first, then the England footage second. The band was already in Africa when Chris Martin telephoned his friend Mat Whitecross at midnight for help with a music video. 

Link to interview with Mat

From the Wikipedia article:

Music Video

Coldplay initially announced that the single's music video would be directed by Hype Williams (who previously directed the first version of the "Viva la Vida" music video) but that version was scrapped after shooting and the band decided instead to record a new version directed by long-time collaborator Mat Whitecross. The video was released on 19 October 2011. In the video, a man dressed as an elephant (played by Chris Martin) escapes from a zoo in London and attempts to hitch-hike his way to another country (doing so finally by stowing away inside a suitcase). An aerial shot reveals that his initial destination was Cape Town, South Africa. He is then seen wandering around Johannesburg, at one point, walking past Nelson Mandela Bridge and a set of railway tracks in Braamfontein. He then earns enough money by busking (which appears to be ZAR 67.05, roughly equivalent to USD 8.40) on the street for a unicycle, and after a seemingly hopeless wander comes across three other elephants (the rest of Coldplay) playing the song in the veld (South African grasslands). The video shifts to the band playing a live show at the FNB Stadium in Johannesburg before returning to the desert where they run towards the camera. The music video was shot on location in London, Cape Town, the Klein Karoo in the Western Cape and Johannesburg.

Official Coldplay Website

The album Mylo Xyloto and the music video are available on iTunes. I purchased both yesterday!

Video Defects !!!

While studying the music video I discovered these two discrepancies:

The jet airplane that the elephant sneaks onto is NOT the same model of airplane as the one that is shown landing in Africa. If you freeze the frame of the airplane landing you'll notice that the tail is different and the engine arrangement. Its difficult to spot at first because the landing airplane is shot in near silhouette lighting conditions.

One of the four elephants is "incomplete" in the feet. When the band is playing in the veld, three of the elephants have elephant feet, but the fourth member on the right side is in white tennis shoes.

Rover's RPMs

OOOPs - I just now realized that this blog post got accidentally published before I was finished with the idea - concept - research. I will most likely add more to this original single paragraph.

I just learned something. Just like humans have REM states of Rapid Eye Movements when sleeping, I noticed that my dog Cooper has RPM, or Rapid Paw Movements. The first ones I noticed occur on the same side of his body while laying on his side. Both right side paws shake very small amounts, and the motions are usually synchronized, but in a mirrored oscillation. (i.e. front paw goes forward as the rear paw goes back and vice versa)

Mixed Smoke Signals

At the restaurant my waiter found two cigarettes on the floor under my table. They were in mint condition.

He handed them to me. I had told him they looked like mine.

He replied, "I've never seen you smoke!!!".

I don't smoke.

(He has waited on me like a bazillion times, knows my complete food and beverage order without me telling him anything, and he reminded the other waitress who actually took my order tonight to put bacon on my sandwich when I had forgot to tell her.)

I paused to calculate and said, "I quit 33 years ago, but these were my brand."

I let him have the cigarettes, I have no need for them.

‎It was actually 33 years and 2 months, but that would have been showing off.

S0mEtimEs pnEum0nia cAn bE a vEry g00d thing.

2011.11.11 11:11:02

2011.11.11  11:11:02

You would think I would be happy on a numerically symmetrical day.

You would be wrong.

I had a very bad dream. Someone kept pushing sideways on my leg and I couldn't get them to stop. I was in severe pain. Finally I screamed or yelled very loudly. I woke up. I heard my wife ask me a couple times, "Did you just scream?", because I had woke her up with my audible. I had been awake very late into the morning thinking about wishes. I didn't purposely try to stay awake. I went to sleep well after 3 AM. Maybe that's why I had the bad dream around 4 o'clock.

I am a scientist by training focused on chemistry and computers. I try to avoid wishing and hope. I just try to live in a practical logical reasoning eXistence. So for today's assignment I have this NaBloPoMo question of what I would do with three wishes. My first thought was give them away to someone who might want them. I most likely would sleep better.

Long before the scream dream I asked my wife what her three wishes were, and she immediately gave the first two and said she would think about the third. When I asked her if she would share them in this blog post, she gave me a definite italics bold verbal "NO !!!".

I am far from rich, but I don't want money or things that I haven't earned. So the opposite of that would be I would like the people who are currently stealing from me to stop what they are doing. Is this going to happen, by wishing, um, no, and so I won't even waste a question mark by supplying the answer so that it is no longer a question. They don't see themselves as thieves.

I suppose I could wish for tobacco or smoking in general to magically disappear. But people are already hurting and killing themselves slowly with so many other substances, while making a small group of suppliers fabulously wealthy, enabling more killing. Plus governments collect taxes on the activity. Entire regions cultivate feedstocks, so they logically try to justify their existence. I read something yesterday by a marijuana advocate who made the illogical stance that no one has ever overdosed and died from marijuana, and therefore it should be legalized. Please, get real.

I suppose I could wish for my son to come home from his current employment. I miss him terribly. He is my humor. He is gone for most of the calendar year in a large block of time and out of communication. But I know that if he can stay alive he will be finished in a year and a half from now and then be near me, hopefully for good. 

I guess my main wish, if I could have all three wishes rolled up into one so that it would really come true,  would be for the people of North Korea to be free. Maybe if I keep it that simple and concentrated it will come true. I know if enough people wanted that one thing, it would come true. But I'm reminded of my favorite 'Change the Light Bulb' joke. 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light blub?

ANSWER: Just one, but first the light bulb has to want to be changed.

Forget all this stuff about North Korea. I just got a call from a telemarketer. I want all telemarketers violently and publicly destroyed and rid this ear-rot-tation from the face of the earth. I want to smell the smoke and see the flames and hear their screams.

Joy.

Why Is Bigger

Poster Message:

A wise old man was once asked:
"In a relationship, which is more important, to love or to be loved?"
He replied, "Which is more important to a bird, the Left Wing or the Right?"

My Response: For birds that get hunted, there are more NRA supporters on the Right Wing, so the answer is the Left Wing.

- - - - -

My cousin mispelled the word 'know' as 'klnow' in a comment about karma.

My Response: So, are the k and the l both silent in "klnow"? If they are then that one tiny five letter word would have three silent letters, or 60%, so I am hoping the answer is klyes and not klno. As a bonus, I checked Google Translate to see if klnow is a word, but it couldn't find a language match, not even in Polish. I thought that 'klnow' might have the record at 60% but then I thought of the word 'why' at 66.667%, slightly larger.

- - - - -

Yes, I know that 'mispelled' is misspelled in the previous section. I'm just having fun with your brain. It's early in the morning so I did check online to be sure.

- - - - -

Yes, 9 AM is early for me. Most days I hope to get out of bed before noon. Emphasis on hope. But that isn't really true, as I no longer believe in, or actively use the concept of hope. I have just had it (virtually) severely beaten out of me over the last five years by dealing with lawyers.

- - - - -

Not all lawyers are bad. One of my very closest friends is a lawyer. But then again I never use her as a lawyer. The only bad advice she ever gave me was to try Johnny Walker Black Label. I plan to stick to Benedictine as my favorite.

- - - - -

My friend shared a picture of a tiny cute black and white animal in the palm of someone's hand, with these rhyming words, "not a dog, not a cat... but too dang cute not to share - It's a baby polar bear!"

My Response: I bet if you raised it from a cub it would be a very long time before it ate you.

Of course a very similar thing happens with your children, when you raise them from a 'cub' its usually quite a while before they hate you.

NaBloPoMo #8

NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month

Question: When was the first time that you realized that your home was not like other people’s homes?

My Response:

This is the fourth version of an answer to this daily question. I didn't like the first two that were about my autobiographical home experiences and the third one took an entirely different approach, inspired by a bit of salsa on a chip at lunch today, this one fictional, that I loved so much. I decided to save it for later when I wanted to write something completely fictional, longer, slightly dark yet funny and spend a great deal of time and planning. Yes, I do that some times, really!  So the fourth one is about my home away from home, my mother's place.

My mother lives far away but manages to, through kindness rays, gravitationally attract some of her children to live near her. Perhaps I have figured out the UNIFIED FIELD THEORY that even Einstein never solved! Within a 20 mile radius of her home are 3 of her 7 children, with another not too much farther. Yet her home is far away from any of our childhood homes. My inner orbital siblings all do a very good job taking care of her and I visit by phone often. They do call me when they need a computer fixed. I am planet tech support.

This is the second time that my mother has lived in this particular small town, moving back within a couple blocks or so of the old first place. She moved there originally following my step-father's retirement. Near water, near fish was his original wish.

It was a rather convenient spot, because several miles north on one interstate were all three of her step-children in the same city. In the opposite direction south about the same distance were all three of my mother's adopted children and grandchildren. And then west the same order of magnitude distance were her 4 natural born children and family, planets and moons. But this arrangement was brief, the universe changes and there are pressures, spinning, collisions and the alignment of the plain nuts fell out of perfectional direction. People die, people divorce, people supernova. Now there is actually one child on the east side, the T-shape overall pattern gone, on down another interstate eastwardly. (Balance?) 

But mom is back in the middle of the Big Hang In There Theory and has a bunch of her kids close, that is nice. Siblings, there is a warm spot at the middle of our you and I in verse.

NaBloPoMo #7

NaBloPoMo #7  -  National Blog Posting Month

Question: Has anything traumatic ever happened to you? Describe the scenes surrounding a particular event 

My Response: One of the early traumatic events of my life was finding out that I wasn't me.

Today was also traumatic enough through the mere act of eXamining my whole life in order to answer this question in an entertaining way without telling you about:

A) watching my brother get ran over by an automobile while riding a bike (he survived)

B) watching someone die right in front of me at work from a massive heart attack while the paramedics tried to save her 

C) slowly come to the realization that one of my relatives had most likely been murdered by his wife from an overdose of his medicine

On the first day of first grade I discovered something about my first name. I wasn't an Ernie. Legally. For the previous 6 years of my life that was the name everyone called me every single time there was a "me" calling.

The first grade teacher had gone to the trouble of making paper crowns with our names on them in pencil. Then we, who hadn't learn to write yet, were instructed to trace the lines of the letters with Elmer's Glue, in order that they could be sprinkled with glitter. Then the teacher would adjust the piece of paper to the child's head size and fasten it, probably with a stapler, I've lost that level of detail.

But, she couldn't find The Ernest in the room. That wasn't MY name, so I naturally didn't answer. I knew that Ernest was my maternal grandfather's name. I found out later that it was actually his middle name. His first name was Champion. Ironically he didn't like his real first name either. So I was eventually thankful, many years later, that I was named after his middle name and not the first, The Champion.

BUT I was not pleased at all when the teacher somehow figured out who I was and what my legal name really was.

I was  c r u s h e d.

Something Uncool When We Needed It

I am laying sideways in my too chilly bedroom reading my iPad sideways over on the night stand. The month is November and we avoid the furnace because the days are usually warm and the nights usually chilly, so the house _absorbs and ^releases, _absorbs and ^releases, .. .. So November is like a drop the V, and its "November", no or little flame use, much lower utility bills, Octobrrrr is similar, but usually requires some air condy.

Mr Right hand has to reach out from under its snuggled warmth momentarily to scroll the screen and do drop down lists and Mr Left hand has to type, so he gets a wee bit chilly too, like right now maybe, but, no, not tonight, because Mr Left hand noticed something a few minutes ago and brought down a ray of sunshine.

Mr Left hand just happened to touch the stainless steel clip on lamp (SSCOL) hooked to the bed, and having an only 30 watt bulb inside that was just-happened-to-be-on, ah, Mr Left hand noticed warmth and not burning (him).

Hmmm, thought the Mr Brain controlling Mr Left hand, I give you permission to eXplore, report back your findings. Immediately!

Ah, I'm delighted! reported neuronically, this is nice. And the SSCOL has a nice flexible nimble neck that allows it to get lower to my ear lobe, my too cold lobe, now my warming up left ear lobe, ah, 3 finger widths distance from metal-to-man, Mr Left hand invented the warmth lamp, that was a reading lamp, but its light is no longer needed for reading as the Apple app appliance glows for reading by itself.

Hah, Mr Left hand just made a joke to Mr Right hand: "Its a 'ray'-ding lamp!", but Mr Right hand didn't get it and Mr Left hand had to eXplain the near homonym of ray, as in ray of light with the first three letters of reading, ah, that's dumb, said Mr Right hand. The rest of us agreed, eXcept Mr Tip of the nose snickered just a little bit then bent to peer pressure, falling back in line.

Lying here just noticed there is a bit of glare on the screen, repo-si-tion-ing, and, ,, ,,, ,, there we go fellers, no glare, eXcept for, what is that, oh, just the reflection of the light off my arm. Everyone is toasty warm now eXcept for the very ery ry y tip of Mr Nose. He is the only one in the crowd that is cold. Too bad I don't know how to knit.

Mr Nose goes, say, could you turn to the left momentarily I want to show you something, what? I respond, No, just a little more, says Mr Nose, and bump, Mr Nose touchs the SSCOL. Ah, this is nice, says Mr Nose. But the rest of I lets Mr Nose have his 8 seconds of flame, and I turn back to the iPadness. Just then Mr Right Thigh complains, I'm sore, time to flip over, figure out how to move your new little warm toy, just getta move on, now. You don't have to go home, but cha can't stay here.