I Will Gladly Solve All The World's Problems for a Small Fee

I try to help my friends understand their technical, scientific and mathema-tickle difficulties by using confusing answers with the primary purpose of cheering up their day.

One of my friends posted this quote: "Pursue money at the expense of happiness and later in life you can buy yourself a beautiful house to sit in when you're depressed" -Simon Sinek

My Response: Be sure to spend some extra money on a dog so he/she can be depressed too. Misery loves Limited Liability Corporations. Oops, I meant 'company'.

A Washington state friend living in England posted a picture of a plaque on an exterior wall in London England that read:

English Heritage
Jacob
VON HOGFLUME
1864-1909
Inventor of time travel

lived here
in 2189

My Response: I remember you posting this 5 years from now for the first time.

A friend posted a picture of a skeleton dressed in female clothing and a wig sitting on a park bench with legs crossed with a leash in her hand going down to a small skeleton that is supposed to be a dog. The caption for the picture is:

"Waiting for the Perfect Man"

My Response: Ah, to do that to a tiny little horse, how sad. You would have thought the horse could have ate the grass and stayed alive. Maybe it was a thirst thing, I don't see a trough of water. That must have been a very large woman compared to the size of the horse. No wonder she never found the right man if she was not willing to date someone shorter than herself. At least we now have a logical eXplanation.

A friend wrote that there was apparently a loose ferret in her apartment complex, and wondered if she needed to close the door on her balcony,

My Response: That's a good idea. That way the ferret who is hiding in your closet won't be able to escape. Like the old saying, "A ferret in the closet is worth two otters on the balcony".

My friend wanted to know what to wear to a Tea Party rally.

My Response: The English have tea often, so I would guess anything English looking, or if you want to look great, go for the Great Britain style. But there seems to be a lot of angst or ire associated with Tea Party-ers, so you could dress Ire-ish. I wouldn't go to the eXtreme end of the scale though, avoid The Leprechan Look.

.... I will add more helpful eXplanations and advice to this blog post in the future. I wonder when some "small fees" are going to start happening, I'm getting hungry.

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