The Adoption Agency Turns Me Down for Quite Obvious Reasons

Lack of sleep OR something worse(?): 

As I am pouring BBQ sauce onto some very fine pork just as the bottle is almost empty, I tell myself, "Hmm, looks like I need to get some more gasoline today" - the really strange part of that statement is that I switched from gasoline to diesel 6 months ago.

The not-quite-as-strange thing about that sentence is that my spell checker likes the word "Hmm" but thinks "Hmmm" is a typographical error. It offers this list of alternative spellings:

• Hmm
• Hm mm
• Hm-mm
• Hmm m
• Hammy

But notice, no "Ham" - Didn't it notice that I had just been talking about "very fine pork" ?

I should name my next child " Hammy ", (that rhymes with my wife's name)

Then when I want a nickname for my little girl Hammy it can be shortened to "Hmmm".

Then when I call her "Hmmm" and someone says, "Did you just call your daughter 'Him' ?", I will respond, "no, Hmmm", and they will instinctively say, "Oh, 'Hammy'!"