These are the things that scamper through my lil' brain; catch them and let them make you smile a-while, and then let them go freely on their way a-gain... Ernest S. B. Boston
I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!
Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.
My wife asked me one morning if I had left and right socks.
What?- I responded, suddenly wondering if she had both a left and a right brain, a complete functioning set.
Then she told me how her relative had carefully folded her husband's socks and put them in pairs, only to have him come along and take them apart, looking for left and right socks. He claims to be able to feel the difference.
Feel with his feet
We both use the same simple white sock available at WMT. I am a white cotton supremacist when it comes to socks. It is one of the many things I learned from Jerry Lewis including avoid working with people like Dean Martin. It saves time and effort, no matching and no lone strange colored socks.
She asked me if I could feel a difference and if I thought it was possible.
My immediate simple single answer was 'No' - I had never really thought about that before and that I just like to have nice white common socks.
Everything in my sock drawer is a part number 13096-28061
I think about it for a while. And then think about it for a little bit longer.
Second Response: I told her that I am pretty sure that each sock starts off with a neutral orientation from the factory. But if you wore a sock only ever on one certain foot, then it would tend to be shaped by its experience, its wear pattern, pressed into service between foot and shoe. This might lead to more comfortable socks. But I had never tried to do this.
Third Response: I presented her with this experiment idea. Segregate my new socks into a left and right container after each use. Then wash them separately as part of another load, say shirts or pants. Then it would be easier to keep track and observe for impressed patterns, wear and relative comfort.
So maybe we have stumbled upon an idea for making everyone's feet a little happier, the world a little bit better place, just enough to finally put an end to famine and disease and war.
How Much Does Santa Claus Weigh? Answer: 1380 pounds - I have photographic proof !!!
The average Rangifer tarandus (reindeer) weighs 460 lbs according wikipedia, and this picture shows Santa Claus in the delicate teeter-totter balancing act with 3 furry Rangifer taking a break at a house on the other end of my street.
I have calculated how many troops to send to Afghanistan to completely remove the Taliban-ned and Al Q-hide-a. Send 1.75 TRILLION troops and have each soldier occupy a "comfortable" 4 square feet and then that will completely cover the country and there will be no more room for anyone else.
Of course there are not quite that many people in the entire USofA, so you may have to relax the immigration policies.
Insincerely,
Ernest
Actually, excuse me, I have just been told there aren't even that many people on the planet, so you are going to have to REALLY relax immigration policies and maybe use REALLY illegal aliens (green ones, shiny space craft, big heads, Roswell).
PPOOP - A new acronym I created about an hour ago just as I woke up: Political Prisoner Of Office Politics
Actually PPOOP is the result of things Russian in nature.
It is the natural outcome of going to bed studying your Russian vocabski as you doze off to sleep, wake up from dreams and/or to thoughts of A.I. Solzhenitsyn, Gulag Archipelago, water boarding, Nancy Pelosi & The CIA, how the USofA ran the USSR outta business only to become like them in the torturing of prisoners, even to the point of putting their prisoner of war camp on an island, AND one of the few islands left in the world that is still a Communist country, being fired for false reasons, having your freedom of speech selectively squelched at work versus what others are allowed to say AND say about you AND get away with it, how the initials of the company you worked for were surprisingly very close to CCCP and how they acted a whole lot like the Soyuz Sovetskikh SotsialisticheskikhRespublik(USSR=CCCP), well, that's a partial list of things passing vor-text-i-cally through my head this morning....
In the Russian Cyrillic alphabet a 'P' makes an 'R' sound, so 'PPOOP' is to sound like the r-roar of a bear.
An angry bear.
2009.05.31 Version 00:11 ; Originally published elsewhere 2009.05.30 with slightly minor revisions made for Clarity, Concealment, Content, and Privacy
Brazil's president said that "gringos" should pay Amazon nations to prevent deforestation, insisting rich Western nations have caused much more past environmental destruction than the loggers and farmers who cut and burn trees in the world's largest tropical rain forest.
President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva made the comments Thursday just before an Amazon summit in which delegates signed a declaration calling for financial help from the industrial world to halt the deforestation that causes global warming.
My Opinion: I think this just makes Lula da Silva basically a greedy eco-kidnapper, trying to hold the Amazon hostage for money. The lungs of the earth belongs to the entire planet. The Amazon should kick the habit and stop 'smoking' itself.
A little while after writing the original piece, I suddenly wondered, isn't the president's last name 'Silva' the Portuguese word for jungle or forest? I checked and the P-word is 'selva' for the E-word 'jungle' and according to one reference selva and silva are related. Then I also remembered a 'Silvan Lake' from my childhood and that the word silvan was an adjective meaning 'forest'. So that ironically makes this story a little sadder, a man who has "of the jungle/forest" as the last part of his very own name, yet he doesn't seem to know how to properly take care of something so precious that has been entrusted to him. Its not the Gringos who are destroying the Amazon, its always been the short sighted economic greed of a few thousand South Americans who are in power and place to do the damage.
I noticed that one my blog readers was from the Russian city of Novosibirsk. I was surprised that I didn't already know alot (or really probably just forgot) about this city because it is the 3rd largest city in Russia, after Moscow and St. Petersburg. It was originally named after the czar, Nicholas II, as Novonikolayevsk, where the prefix part novo means "new" then the czar's name. It was founded in 1893 as FUTURE site of the Tran-Siberian railroad crossing the large Ob river.
Later under Stalin it was renamed Novosibirsk. When I saw the name and broke it apart, I thought, hmm, "I wonder if that has the word 'Siberia' in it" - and sure enough, that is the etymology. So the meaning of the new name is: "New + Siberia + city suffix". It is the administrative center for its part of the country with that name, Siberia. As one of the fastest growing cities to ever reach a million people, in 1962 it was the youngest city in the world with a million people. I had never really thought about that ranking concept before, and just who would be keeping track of that sort of thing .... and even now it is making my suddenly severe headache go off the chart.
But, earlier today when I thought about it a little more, I remembered that Siberia meant 'East' or 'North', and when I checked it out, I confirmed that it has North as a root word in Russian. So if you look at the map of Russia, you see that this city is no where near the northern end of the country, but a relatively short distance from a SOUTHERN border! And in the middle. (Click to see map at Wikipedia article)
northсеверный (root) in English: si-bi-ri southюжный English: uzh centerцентр English: tsyenter - very close to the English word 'center'
So here are my proposals for the new name (third times a charm) for the city:
First: Novo + uzh + sk
Novouzhsk
OR even better, to emphasize its location in the middle of the Asian land mass:
Novotsyentrsk -> New Central City
If you google 'Novotsyentrsk', you get nothing, absolutely nothing. Well, eventually you will when I publish this.
Actually, I think I have an even better name: Bellybutton - it sits right in the middle AND its on the OB river, perfect.
Bellybuttonsk or "живот + пуговица + sk" in Russian
400: The best part of waking up is Folgers in your throat.
399: The UN announced today that for the first time in history 1 billion people world wide face starvation. To make a greater awareness of the situation, they plan to have a day of fasting. Somehow this seems like a strange twisted logic, as it will just momentarily increase the number. It sounds to me like there were an extra billion people who should never have been born.
398: With every renovation project plan ahead to know at what point to quit, what level of quality to achieve, where to draw the line in the sandpaper.
397: Yea!!! Its November 13th, or better known to us as "International Do You Wanna Go Bowling With Me ? Day"
396: 3:20 AM - This is the wrong time of day for The Dog to be in an overly excited extremely, 'Go, Dog, Go!', happy mood ... He is finally okay. He is finally quiet. He is finally resting.
395: "The air outside is just far too cold, and I are fragile and I are old" - that is the 'lame' excuse I give my dog on below freezing weather mornings when he is begging for us to go outside to play. He seems to agree because he stops asking. (Don't complain about the misuse of the two 'are'-s; the intent poetic)
394: Just realized that "Dr. Awkward" is spelled the same forward as backwards a few hours ago.
393: Okay, this is a little strange: A TV commercial comes on showing how the product improves hair quality, and for a visual proof they turn the hair into a paint brush. Now I am busy thinking how to extend that logic of quality with other body parts & other products.
392: I wonder when the LAST time was that shooting suspect DOCTOR Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, MD of Ft Hood Texas remembered the medical training primary precept “FIRST, DO NO HARM” ?
391: While chatting with my wife while she is on the computer, just out of the blue I hear her say the following that has NOTHING to do with our conversation: "I can't find my brass knuckles - you would think they would be shimmery" (Relax: she was just playing a simple video game where named objects are hidden in some cluttered mess on the screen. Still, though, 'brass knuckles' ?!?!?)
390: Half of the world's problems would disappear if there was a proper allocation and distribution of the all the pillows. And then encourage napping on a regular basis.
389: I was going to eat the Italian sausage from my PH pizza in an elaborate manner using my customized micro food vacuum that removes 99% of the inside of the sausage piece leaving just a hollow sausage shell but then I realized I left it back at The Bat Cave.
388: Ironically and incompletely there are too many times when people say "allahu akbar" - Arabic for 'God is great' - when there needs to be an additional "but I am bad, very very bad."
387: The problem doesn't lie in living by a theory, we all do that; its the some who are willing to kill for a theory.
386: If you need something silly to read, try the wikipedia article for the city of Rajkot India. More later in comments ....
385: My early morning mobile Internet service by phone was more of an 'Enter Not' experience in exasperation.
384: A very sad day for the United States of America
383: Just in case it is useful to you, the word 'Newsstand' becomes 'puetssmaN' when rotated 180 degrees. That somehow felt like a 'The More You Know' public service announcement, but in dreamtime with sparkly colors and soft Yanni music at a low low level.
382: Playing 'Sock The Dog' can be fun for us two, its true, but not a very wise thing to do, at least from a gravitational point of view, while sitting on a free standing not-so-sturdy bar stool in the living room, for one of you, the bigger of the two, just might fall down and go boom.
381: Poof! I found a purple onion growing where I didn't expect it! It is coming inside for the winter!
380: MMmmm.... Chicken 'N Rice just came out of the oven!
379: Dear Country of Iraq: I hate you. Sincerely, Ernest
378: Every day completed is one day closer to the completed year and then every day after that will be one more to help forget that year.
377: I believe leftover Halloween candy must be dealt with by will power and self determination. I believe each piece of sugary goodness will provide some chemical power and my self will be busy determining which one is next from what is left in the pile. Power party in my mouth, mmmm …
376: I am not sure about everything going on in the Middle East. but it seems that Peace Talks have become Piece Takes. I will let you explore for your own definition as I continue my own journey of missing & emptiness and loss & sadness.
375: Sadness in Seattle. Police officer slain and another wounded
374: Confusing Cooper The Canine with Candy. Everytime I put a piece of this one particular new Halloween candy in my mouth then my dog has to sniff very close to my mouth. Wonka Shockers with Intense Sour Flavor by Nestle
373: H1N1appy H1N1alloween
372: Uneasy & Queasy But At Least I'm Not Sneezy
371: Okay, let me expand my list of things to avoid: a) Sneaky Sharks b) Islamic Terrorists c) Rabid Racoons ..and..now.. d) Killer Coyotes
370: Saddened to learn that an FBI dog was killed in Detroit in the line of duty in a shootout today with terrorist suspects. The dog's name was not mentioned. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his handlers, friends and family with this loss.
369: If you eat candy from your secret stash and you throw the wrapper in the trash can, be sure to put something else on top of that trash so your wife will never know unless of course she reads about it right here on Facebook but then it sets in a motion a jovial exploration. Ah, QFT, Quality Family Time.
368: "I did such a good job training you that you actually thought you trained yourself"
367: Peering into a pool of pain
366: Riddle Contest: The other day some mysterious inanimate thing flew and landed dangerously close just missing me. I hurriedly went to the flinged thing's rescue and said "DIE!!!" - then with the assistance of aluminum, I tried to find the fling thing owner, Flinger, while interrupting my previous mission for the Missus. (Can you guess what happened? Submit your own story and see how close you get to the real event)
365: Here is a current thermo-dumb-namic survey of my living room: The front window is cracked open, its cold outside, the ceiling fan is running, blowing the air downward, the air conditioner on the north wall is duking it out with the central heating that kicked on while the TV radiates a glow. At least the ceiling lights were turned out and nobody was home (in the living room).
364: This boy is in post gumbo glow :^°
363: When I was driving home the other evening from Dumas I thought I was going to have bad luck because I thought it was a black cat crossing my path, but fortunately it was just a skunk.
362: The time for chicken gumbo .. is .. now !!!
361: The section of the Borger TX High School that most closely resembled Guantamino Bay in both form and function has been reduced and rubblized by wrecking ball.
360: I have had to make a serious effort to stop talking to myself. It only confuses my dog. I can get away with it on the rare occasion when he is out of the room or if I am more quiet than his decibel level of ripping apart a chew toy as long as he is absorbed in the task at hand. Mumble, the key is to mumble ....
359: Twitter is all a Quitter today - periodically at overcapacity during the last several tries. Their visual message for system overload is a flock of birds holding a smiling whale suspended in mid-air by cords. Somehow I think that is not the image I would have chosen to let the world know "not now, later"
358: LOL - I just saw that someone answered the question "Do you think that Ernest S. B. Boston would look good in a mini-skirt?" with an answer of YES - perhaps they have poor vision/poor computer monitor and thought the question was asking about "look good in men's shirt"
357: Oh, the joy that is Texas, picking vine ripened tomatoes in late October.
356: There must be quite a bit of cross-pollination of the design engineers at General Electric across their myriad of manufacturing divisions. Our new clothes washer sounds a lot like a quiet jet engine landing. Oh, the magic of Echo-imagination.
355: Life is short - so are midgets. [(Slightly modified version of a sign I saw in a church parking lot. Its even more intriguing when you say it out loud: "Life is short - sore midgets"]
354: Its not how far you fall from grace and the TV ratings when they find out that your balloon thing was a family hoax, its the indictment that arrives by the sudden cop.
353: On days like today I could use a robot, a really strong robot, but preferably a girl robot. [Paint and chat, must be programmed to paint and chat, thats all I'm really looking for in a good girl robot, and must love dogs too.]
352: I hate tattoos. But I came up with an interesting idea yesterday. In California it is against the law to drive while talking on a cell phone. My tattoo idea is to have a giant tattoo on the left side of your head & neck that looks like you are holding a cell phone to your ear. Then you can talk on a cell phone while driving. When you get pulled over, put the real phone away & confuse the nice police officer.
351: So far my outdoor reading has been interrupted by a mosquito and then a bumblebee. I wonder what the next flying thing will be, maybe a fly or nuclear warhead tipped intercontinental ballistic missle. (That was strange: The keypad sequence of 647753 on my phone keypad doesn't show to have the word 'missle' in its built in dictionary. I wonder if I am misspelling 'missle'. I checked and ICBM isn't there as well)
350: Mommy, where are you? Are you okay in your new home in OKay-lah-home-ah? Please call Baby Bird #2 when it is convenient for you sometime after 4ish - I am tied up until then slaying numeric dragons. Love, esbb
349: My career as a writer is really taking off! At the end of 23 months of blogging using AdSense from Google, I had amassed 13 cents. Now 3 months farther down the road I am at 19 AdSense cents AND received a single philanthropic gift of 32 cents from one reader hand delivered all the way across the state of Texas. I am way ahead of my projected plan to become a millionaire by age 91 with a doubling period of 23 months
348: Somedays you are the enigma without even trying very hard and you don't even realize it yourself.
347: “And all this time I thought they were building a life together, she was really assembling the means of his death” - from the movie 'Under Things, Over Things, Every Things”
346: One month finished, eleven to go. Be safe, we miss you dearly. Hug.
345: Interesting 24 Hour Time Period. The exhaust fan above my kitchen stove went out last night while making supper. Then just now the electric motor on the clothes washing machine burned up, pumping ickiness into the air. And on a rare calm Texas Panhandle day without a breeze to help!
344: Warm puppy at my feet, warmer coffee at my right side, with a hot chicken and rice casserole fixing to pop out of the oven in a few minutes. That should wake her up for breakfast! MMmmm.... My secret minor ingredients for chicken and rice: a dash of Worcestershire sauce and drop of Tabasco Sauce. I tried it with pepper jack cheese instead of cheddar once, that was wonderful, but not the wifey's favorite taste.
343: Bubbles As Lens: Today I was making some hard boiled eggs. I noticed near the beginning of the boil that when the few tiny bubbles passed across the surface of the water they cast a bright spot on the white egg below.
342: I want to promote the fake scientific sounding conceptual theory of 'Color Magnetism' that I recently invented in a balloon story. The closer things are to being the same color, the stronger the attraction they have for one another. (Remember this is totally fictional although it does have some merit in animals who tend to be attracted to others who look like themselves)
341: Horror Zone Tall (→) Very Tickle
340: There is just something mystically wonderful about traveling at 60 mph that makes me think we should try to achieve it as often as possible even if it means installing a screensaver on your computer to simulate the experience.
339: F O G
338: My tomato plants are able to enjoy some October sun not knowing that hospice care is soon to come followed by a share of inhospitable ice as their round red orphan children come to reside on my table.
337: I think it is interesting that in the same time period for which Obama was being evaluated for the Nobel Pizza Prize he sent more troops to Iraq and Afghanistan.
336: Sometimes you realize that the only reason you seem to have at the moment for being sad is simply because so many, too many, of your dearest friends are deeply saddened.
335: The flies of October are even slower than the ones of September. Proof: I reached out and snagged one right out of the air with my bare hand - the first time I ever did that in my entire life. Perhaps I'm just getting in shape? After watching Obama do something similar during a TV interview, does this feat help qualify me for the position of President of the United States of America?
334: My Aged Dame is in a slightly damaged state (injury) - when I said something just now it made her laugh. "Don't make me laugh, it hurts" I told her I was merely repeating the words of a young African inventor that she had already heard on TV last night, so actually his words were already in her brain, I just did a scream screen refresh.
333: "Its too soon to say if its too late" - from a quote of Dr Thomas Frieden, director of the CDC, Center for Disease Control
332: SBS - Suicide By Soup - that was a lovely experience just now. Fortified can of gumbo, with fresh garden tomato cooked on the side with jalapeno and then additional chicken cooked in that side pan and a touch of brown sugar. I held on until my Dr Pepper fire extinguisher ran out and declared victory running through the streets. Women cried, children laughed and waved banners and men everywhere pondered my magic.
331: I have always found that if you are truly expecting someone to apologize to you it always helps to actually let the person know through a carefully written or verbal means of communication versus the process of just expecting them to pick it up through the nebulous act of reading your mind.
330: My vertical blinds vibrate in the slight wind of the hidden southern open window at one end and ripple northward the progressively dampened motion til there is nothing moving where the distance traveled by the disturbance dance has some function to the gust velocity, causing an unblinding of the blinds in slight fleeting oscillating pendulum cracks with morning light streaming inward momentarily blinding me
329: Mi ld ly in pa in
328: When the words "absoluting intimidately" pass through my brain as a well ordered pair, I think of you. Oh, sorry, I left off the 'and', there is always an 'and' but it is not always in the right place, sometimes at the beginning, sometimes at the end, sometimes it squeezes into the middle, saying "hi guys, whats up?" and then there are other times when we are just standing around waiting for breakfast and 'and' shows up with bloodshot eyes mumbling something about last night with 'or' and 'but' and 'with', ranting on about how adverbs are taking over the world, and we just ignore him and drink our coffee.
327: If anyone out there is a Wikipedia editor, and would like to help me keep the article about myself in place in wikipedia, then please help out with an "Accept" vote in the ungoing 'AdF' debate
326: Just remember that Rome wasn't built in a day - and wasn't even actually built by Romans - they had lotza slaves to do all the heavy lifting and all the dirty jobs, cooking, cleaning, baby sitting, grape stomping, dog walking, well, maybe not the dog walking ....
325: I love October in our part of the world, its not too brrr like Novem-brrr can some times be.
324: I awoke and heard words from Iraq very early this morning. Actually it was closer to being 'very very' AM rather than just 'very' AM and we did get clarification that the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil are the summer games, not the winter. But what about the 'Spring Olympics'? We enjoy our boy who is so far away and yet able to share giggles, what joy, what joy is contained within him; smile, big smile.
323: "If I knew you were coming I would have baked a cake" - well, actually I did know and that explains why my oven is preheating, and soon we will be eating, German Chocolate cake! (Its whats for breakfast, mmmm, I bet that'll get them up early)
322: There may be a big push and international clamor underway in Copenhagen to determine where the site of the 2016 Olympic Games are to be held, but I am busy in the process of trying to convince Wal-Mart Corporation of Bentonville that they need a store in Dzt TX, population 303. Ah, dream big, lets go for a supercenter AND a distribution center.
321: Its too bad you can't go back and un-find something(s).
320: I just had a dream about washing dishes in an automatic dishwasher. That sounds boring except for the part where there were Hostess Twinkies on the bottom shelf at the back right side.
319: From Craig Ferguson: "It's the sled - that joke's for five people in America"
318: If I had a van, I would be van going. Instead, I am just a painter in a pickup.
317: Your life can't possibly be all that bad if there is an occasional purchase of BBQ sauce in gallon quantities mixed in there somewhere....
316: supercaloriefragrantlyexcellentpiedelicious – my friend asked for people to describe her with a single word, so I created this one with a little inspiration from Mary Poppins and the memories of my friend's savory treats
315: I think it is cool that people read my writings from all over the world. But if they misunderstand my sense of humor (and some have) & become deeply angered & get together slowly plotting my demise, that wouldn't be cool. Unless of course, they were planning my mode of death to be by freezing (hopefully something spectacular with fireworks!) then that would be really cool. Hold it, I think I'm missing something here.
314: I was accidentally married to Lucille Ball for a very brief time period today, but I was totally unaware of the 'Oops! I Think Wrong Bottle of Hair Ink Event' until it was completely over. It is my understanding there are no pictures for chronological documentation, no paparazzi, no Tamie-razzi.
313: Coming soon, 'Scary Hairy Furry Fear' or, 'Ernest Accidentally Scares A Little Old Lady At Wal-Mart Just By Being Nice'
312:What time is it, Ernest? Time to shut down everything and watch the movie 'joe versus the volcano'. It has just been too long since the last time. (Notice that I paid attention to the title of the movie, its supposed to be in all lowercase)
311: Today's Non-Scientific Grand Conclusion: The house flies of September are much easier to swat/kill than the ones earlier in the year. I doubt that my skill of killing has improved, so I am attributing it to a combination of slightly colder weather and old age (of the flies). Or maybe my current cuisine is fattening them up or interfering with their internal gyroscope.
310: I am simultaneously washing dishes and dashing wishes.
309: The Space Shuttle Discovery was in Amarillo today hitchhiking its way back to Florida from California. Its mule, a special Boeing 747, had stopped for a bale of hay and some water.
308: Interesting day. My wife is losing it. She was in the kitchen and I heard her say "Move, please" in the soft, kind voiced phrase we usually use with Cooper our dog, only then she cracks up laughing, "I can't believe I was just now talking to a fly!!!"
307: E-"So this video game is just like your old one except for the insects" T-"No,{blah blah blah explanation}{a few minutes of game play} see what I mean?" E-"No, I wasn't really watching, I just happened to be looking in that direction"
306: I checked just now and you are not home. Where are you? I miss you.
305: My day of pie rating is over. Back to normal English. Time to find a pillow.
304: Shiver me 2 by 4's, it be international 'Speak Like A Pirate Day" !!!
303: "Say Tamie, what movie -NARF!!!- are we watching tonight to go to sleep by?" - "The same movie we watch every night, Ernie, 'The American President' starring Michael Douglas" - "Say Tamie, I wonder when they are going to make a new one starring President Break Yo Momma"
302: My wife is totally unimpressed with Facebook at the moment - she thinks she could find friends faster on a bicycle than FaBoo - and she doesn't even have a bicycle AND I would get a kick out of seeing her just TRY to ride a bicycle AND so would you, I'm thinking here comes a video opportunity for 'America's Funniest Videos'
301: Cooking experiment: Cooking bacon with Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce for my sandwich. [IF] you never hear from me again, [THEN] you'll know I was killed by spicy pig pieces interspersed in a chicken sandwich, complete w fresh tomatoes ... mmmm, spicy pig pieces ... spicy pig pieces ...
I'm proud of Obama for his recent picking a 'None of The Above' for his choices about dealing with the war in Afghanistan. Here's an op-ium-tion: We have already paid enough time, lives and money to/for/against Afghanistan, why not declare it a territory of the USA and rename it something like PoorToRichoStan and give all the citizens the same status as Puerto Ricans and treat the Taliban as common criminals?
East Dakota?
Middle East Dakota?
Wild Wild West Dakota?
Then they could have an annual parade in NYCNY.
A Terror-itory instead of statehood?
Don't worry, they will kind of get it all back again in 200 years and set up the tourist-trap 23rd century version of whatever a casino is by then ... just whatever makes cents at that time.
This would throw them for a mental spin as well the next time they start to publically chant, "Death To America! ... (?) hold it, dude, we are Americans now".
More conversations as the confused crowd disperses
“Allaha Akbar - God Is Great - Hey look, it already kind of says that on our new American money, - 'In God We Trust' “
“What is that going up over there, aStarbucks?!?!?”
On Friday, February 13, 2009 I posted a blog titled:
Notice to Strawberry Twizzler Addicts with Poor Math Skills: WMT is Not Your Friend
It outlined the strange pricing practices of WMT in regards to their handling of the Strawberry Twizzler products.
Since that time I uncovered another devious scheme at WMT and Their Twizzler Twisting Tag Trickery. WMT fraudulently posted this price sticker (photo below) indicating a price reduction when in fact the price for this product has been $1.50 for several months. At this exact store in Dumas, TX 3 weeks ago the price on this product was $1.50 - so if there has been a massive 38 cent or 20.2% reduction in price, it was only so they could jack around with your brain trying to make you think you are being treated special. Sorry. You aren't. They are just playin' with ya'.
There was no real roll back as the sign indicates, only a rolling around.
Bouncy Roll Backers. Twizzler Twisters. Licorice Liers.
After entertaining a 2 year old this morning at my kitchen table with an impromptu puppet show using only 3 boxes of Betty Crocker products that were waiting to be put in the pantry, 1 each of
- Scalloped Potatoes
- Scalloped Potatoes with Cheese
- Potatoes Au Gratin
where the boxes were involved in a 'boxing match' followed by an unfair two-on-one boxing match topped off with a song and dance routine using high pitched mainly mumbly voices with an occasional "MY MOMMA" thrown in there randomly and a stage act he probably won't see again until he goes to Las Vegas, (Nevada, not New Mexico), the child, who has rarely ever spoke to me before this point in his short life, made my day by exclaiming to his mother, my niece, -SmilinG- "I want to stay here forever!"
But there was an automobile to be repaired, so he had to leave with momma. Thank goodness for starter solenoid failures on Toyota Camrys for giving us this special moment in time and rhyme and rhythm.
What happens at my Mesa Cozinha doesn't always stay at my Mesa Cozinha.
As I was entering a local burrito shop there was a clear plastic bag of water hanging near the front door.
I placed my order and asked the attendant about the bag.
The owner was standing a few feet away and said that it keeps flies away.
Curious, I asked for a scientific explanation.
He told me that when the flies go by the bag of water their reflection is magnified by the bag of water and how the little flies are scared of the big flies because the big flies eat the little flies.
"Really" was my semi-sarcastic response.
The owner told me that they are used all over the country of Mexico, in people's houses and businesses.
So I asked him for permission to shoot the picture of the bag of water so I could put it on Facebook.
He told me sure, it would be okay.
I told him that I publish stories on the Internet.
He suddenly said "No, not if it is going to be on the Internet! Then someone will steal my idea"
I humorously thought, no, its just a clear plastic bag of water, probably no patent pending and you already told me you got the idea from your grandmother and they are hanging all over Mexico. So I assured him that when people saw my story it would help him become more famous, people would come from all over to see his bag of water and eat at his place. He said it would be okay. Of course I was pretty sure that I could take a picture of a bag of water in a public place and there wasn't going to be much he could do to stop me, but I'm a nice guy and ask permission.
A little later while eating at the restaurant another patron mentions the bag of water. He thinks that the bag of water is used to keep evil spirits away. I lean toward him and say with a very serious, quiet voice, holding back my laughter successfully, that flies are evil spirits.
My nice bright mainly red Cellphone (Samsung Model SGH-A737) has a One-Der-Full feature that allows it to learn new words for re-use with future messages. This learning feature is part of the "T9Eab" typing mode. The system tries to find matches for the numeric keystrokes from its built-in dictionary. It tries to find the best match for you from a list and also allows you to scroll on farther through the list as well for other choices.
I disagree strongly with my use of the word "best" in that previous sentence.
Problem: Unlearning
Learning how to do something can be difficult at times, and the amount of effort involved with UN-learning varies from person to person and from thing to thing. The current thing of interest, my cell phone, appears to have a total lack of unlearning with its dictionary. It seems that the Samsung people (and I am assuming a robot didn't program my phone, but I could be wrong) forgot to add a feature to the system that lets you erase words out of the dictionary!
Help me ghost of Noah Webster! Its been 203 years since you first published your dictionary, so if you could go whisper in the ear of someone in Japan with my edit suggestion. Oh, I forgot you probably don't know Japanese.
For instance, when I type in the numeric keystrokes 3-6-7, going for the common word 'for' - which was already in their dictionary as the most common word for the letters
(def)-(mno)-(pqrs) of the 3-6-7 sequence,
there now magically appears a 'dmp' - which strangely is the first character of each of these keys AND the exact thing I would get IF I had been typing in the simple 'abc' mode.
(By the way, when you are in the 'T9Eab' mode and type in 2-2-2 for the keystrokes, it doesn't give you a choice of 'abc' in the lookup list! So if my phone doesn't even know its ABC's, why should this latest wrinkle crinkle of thinking surprise me?)
So I forget about this problem most of the time (okay, all the time) and I am just typing along and want for the word 'for' and get 'dmp' instead, and without checking first with my eyes, my mind tells my fingers that I am in the wrong write mode and it holds down on the key that is supposed to change the writing mode from 'abc' to 'T9Eab' - only I was already in that mode and now I am in the 'abc' mode so when I type the 3-6-7 again I get 'dmp' and when my finger then clicks the key to go down through the list of choices (and of course there are no choices in the 'abc' mode) my phone then displays 'dmp+' instead of toggling on down to give me a 'for' and I suddenly don't feel like I am in a very "PLUS" MOOD right then as I have just now been typing in the wrong write mode. Luckily it usually only takes me three tries to write a 'for' and not four.
My Non-Choice Nonsense Phone-y Words
'BD' instead of 'be' '2x' instead of 'by' 'dmp' instead of 'for' 'WF' instead of 'we'
So I hear that you have some interesting things in your life.
"Be all you can be"? - I think they really meant they were going to be in charge of the all part of your life .... here are some more "B" words to consider ....
- Bald - hmmmm, I don't think I ever forced you to give up all your hair, "How does it feel? Like a rolling stone?"
- Beret - hmmmm, I don't think I ever forced you to wear a funny hat at any point in your whole life, especially something French looking, how horrible! Well, there were birthday parties, but I think you spent alot of time wearing a Texas A& M cap over the last several years to make up for any previous indiscretions in the headware department.
- Boring Clothes - hmmmm, I don't think I ever forced you to wear a plain wardrobe, well, maybe your mother did, I am not sure about this one.
- Big Glass Binoculars - hmmmm, I think you got to pick out your own eye wear instead of now being forced to wear Army regulation ugly glasses. As I remember, you picked out some very interesting contact lens over the years.
- Bang - hmmmm, I don't think the deal I made with you to go to college and provide some support for you along the way ever carried any stipulations about needing to shoot people.... hmmm, now I seem to recall I spent a couple decades asking you/reminding you NOT to kill people and to be a nice person, yeah, I think I remember something along those lines, do you?
Please come home soon permanently before it is too late, We kinda miss you a little.
These are pieces that I have generated mainly using computer art tools. Enjoy !
Something New:
I am also in the process of linking my poetry blog entries together. This project is only partially finished. A "Poetry LINK" at the bottom of the blog entry points to the next older piece of poetry.
These are some of my abstract art pieces. They are available as prints, send me a note if you are interested.
Couch Glow
Gold As Smoke
Flowing Wood
Award Time
RATs
What Am I Reading?
Mainly the subject of Microcontrollers, Arduino Devices, DNA, Pharmacology and HVAC from a variety of sources.
Currently reading "Connectome: How The Brain's Wiring Makes Us Who We Are" by Sebastian Seung
The Sometimes Missing Followers
If you don't see yourself in my followers list its because most of the time lately Blogger has not been showing the most recent five people of the list; strange. It is sporadic in its display, sometimes 19, sometimes 24. New twist: sometimes there is only one missing, my niece! One of my longest term readers.
Primary Goal in Life: To be the 3rd nicest person in the Universe. I achieve this goal by constantly redefining the word 'nicest', which is currently 8735 words long in all its nuances and handling special incidents such as road rage and being attacked by wildlife.
I wake up every day looking forward to the next friend that I will make, the piece of art that I will create, and the culinary discovery that makes my taste buds tumble. I not only have favorite pieces of music, I have favorite notes within those pieces.
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